I want some advice. I’m so lost on what to do for a back story. My ex and I were together for five years and had 2 children together. We spilled when they were 2&4. He met someone else and decided he would rather be with her than me. Since then, we have not been able to co-parent very well as his wife likes to get involved with stuff and pick fights. They have been on and off over the years. There was an incident about two years into their relationship where she took my then four-year-old from her car seat in an SUV and threw her into a muddle of mud as a punishment for my child pushing a child they had together who was 2. Child services were called, and the report came up unfounded because they coached my child to change her story, and there were no marks on my child to prove otherwise. The day the case was closed, his wife called and made a false report saying I sexually abused my children, and they were taken from me for three weeks. I had to fight to prove my innocence. It all came back unfounded after my children speaking to a child counselor who specializes in sexual abuse. The counselor even added in their report that the children seemed coached to say stuff. Children go with their dad three weekends a month, and during that time they do not shower, eat only once a day, wear the same clothing all weekend, have no rules, my eldest is left to care for the younger children (2 of them) while the sitter sleeps or dad is playing video games. A year goes by, and I get a call my children were in an accident while with their dad and are in the hospital. When I get there, my children are all cut up and bloody. They tell me they weren’t in their booster seats (5&7 at the time), and the five-year-old didn’t have a seatbelt on. A doctor from the hospital called child services after ex was arrested for driving on a suspended license due to lack of child support payments for children he had previous to our relationship. Child services find him guilty of child endangerment and neglect, but no criminal charges were pressed against him. Children are now 8&10, and recently child services were called because my eldest told a mandated reporter that their room at their dads was full of cat poop and pee, and they aren’t allowed to sleep in there because of it, so they had been sleeping on the living room floor or couch. Ex refused them entry when they showed up the first time and cleaned the room before they came back, so the case was closed. I recently found out that my ex’s wife has been physically abusing my children. She has been hitting them with a wooden spoon and slapped my oldest across the face. My children have no marks on their bodies, and I have lost faith in child services to protect my children. I don’t know what to do. Can anyone give me advice on how I can protect my children?? I wish I could just keep them, but if I did that I would be in contempt of the court order. I don’t have the money to take him back to court right now.
I just wouldnt send my kids. Does he have the money to take you to court?
You take out a loan. You talk to the courthouse and file paperwork to get a free lawyer. You document everything regardless of marks. Get your children back into therapy so they can tell the therapist was is happening and the therapist CAN AND WILL help them and you get full custody. I would have had my ass down to the courthouse filing for temporary custody on the basis of child abuse. The kids are old enough now to speak in court. Have the oldest bring a digital camera to dad’s and take pictures, video, and audio recordings as well. Document times and dates they go over and document VER BATIM what the children tell you happened. They need to be aware that they need to give actual days the events happened and approx time.
A swat on the ass is fine with me but not a wooden spoon
Well if I was you; my children would never be going back to their dads! If there’s a will, there’s a way! Protect your kids at all costs!
Teachers have a right to report any abuse to CAS so if your children go to school saying that they are getting hit by your exs wife and everything they have to report it. Or if you take them to the clinic as well the doctors have the right to report it as well so low key have your kids tell their teachers and their doctors and they will report it. Also for the financial issue call legal aid and get some information with them and see if they can help you. Also you’re children are old enough to know what they want and dont want so if they dont want to go to their fathers they have a choice and you should not force them. If that comes up with court then your children can speak for themselves as well.
I’d move further away maybe then they would get less visit time or not make the effort to go out of their ways to pick the kids up. Sounds like a tough & toxic situation good luck. Try not to involve child services so much they’re more of a headache then their worth & could make the situation even worse. They’re not there to help like they claim to be. File indigent with Juvenile court & get a public defender. The filing fee could be waived most of the time.
First off I know this is just breaking your heart. Secondly NOBODY and I mean no one has the right to touch your kids in any fashion. I would apply for a protective order against her. I would take them to the dr and also chat with CPS (I know what you said about it) it’s important that these things are recorded. Perhaps you could file in court for supervised visits as well.
Go to court see a lawyer and stop access to there father now he needs supervised visitation with your children end of story
Post his address. Allow us to serve and protect #ProtectTheInnocent #MamaMafia
You need to go file for full custody first off. Also supervised visitation if you don’t get full custody. Ask for a guardian ad litem going to attach a link that explains what that is.
But if that were my children no one would be sleepy or living normal lives for me constantly bugging someone to do something about it. You are their voice. Not sure which state you’re in or the family Court laws in your area. But you need help to keep them babies safe and hopefully you get it and they don’t have to suffer anymore. And I know all to we’ll how it is. Had 2 myself that were forced by the courts to go visit their dad. It isn’t good for them in the long run emotionally. I wish you luck and hope the best for you and your kids.
Go to court and file to modify visitation. Also have the children tell the school. Get them into counseling.
Her turn next, not a good feeling…
Never ever allow anyone to put their hands on your child. I woulda beat her ass personally. But if you’re not like that. You should have filed a police report and called child protective services. There is no way in hell someone is putting their hands on my child. I will kill…as in take someone’s life for that.
Go to court and apply for a fee waiver and then apply for a restraining order and emergency custody orders to keep the kids from them. Ask for a court appointed attorney for the children and they will speak on the kids behalf. A judge who hears this will grant you full custody and give the dad supervised visits by a court approved supervisor
And also call the cops and ask them to do a well baby check. They will show up unannounced and you will have a police report. Document EVERYTHING. Every text phone call and thing your kids say
Lawyer up. Modify to have supervised visits with only dad. Get a protection order against mom. Again lawyer up.
You need to get some small video equipment and some recording equipment to send for when they have to go on these visits to get some proof, and find a good lawyer, and just keep calling. Or refuse your ex to pick your children up on the weekend. And go to family court asap
You can also keep the kids and he would have to call the cops to get the kids back when the cops show up tell them that the kids refuse to go bec dad wife is abusive and they cant force the kids to go if they are scared. Tell the cops that you are filing emergency custody orders and restraining order. If your ex and his wife are really this bad then I doubt they will call the cops to get the kids when they miss a weekend. Good luck
Never stop fighting for them. Keep reporting it. Have your kids tell the school counselor what’s going on. Have the kids talk to CPS also.
Read about this story, you dont want this happening …
Id call a cop over to talk to you and your children. 8 and 10 a child should be old enough to have a voice. Its like the perfect age actually I think because there not yet smart enough to keep up on a lie that someone has coached them on. Id personally have a big word face to face with his wife then I don’t even care incomtempt of court or not… Take my kids and not look back except for in court for full custody of them! No matter what you protect your babies and just be honest with the courts about not having money. With the love you have for your kids should hopefully be enough to convince them that your doing this for their own good. Don’t do or say anything out of hate. Be calm and open minded these kids don’t deserve any of what I heard and cps has been called more then once so this should be taken more serious. The old me would say and do different when still this new me would whoop that woman’s ass still but don’t do that you could lose your kids. Don’t let them go back!!
Do they not place Casa workers so the children can be evaluated after each visit with their father. Have you ever thought of moving out of state
Stop the coparenting for the safety of the children…get full custody.
If your children are really going through what you describe you need to talk to a lawyer. My only doubts are that you seem to have an awful lot of information about things that happen when you are not there to witness it all. Who is filling you in on all of these events? If its the children, just know that it might be exaggerated or fabricated. Be 100% sure your accusations are truth.
Giirl. Bye all I see I death to all that may harm my children it has to be in the bible thus is sad honestly could not take it all in but they gotta be dealt with. I can’t even give gud advice all I see is Red
Get a lawyer. Get full custody and move on. Also, do not date until your kids are grown.
I was going to say you’re going to have to get a good lawyer right now I took back custody of my child which is yes technically contempt because he has not been back with his father but he’s also 16th. You definitely definitely have to get a lawyer no matter what you have to do
You need to go to court. WHY is the dad getting them 3 weekends out of the month? They are old enough to talk to the judge and tell them what’s happening and who they want to spend time with. Take out a loan and get a good lawyer if you can!!
You can file a protection order for your kids given the amount of info and how many times CPS has been involved.
I wouldn’t give a shit what the court said I would be keeping them if they’re being abused and only fed 1 meal a day
This is happen(ed) locally in my town. GTF away from those psychos. This step-mom killed her husbands 3 year old. Trial on hold for woman facing possible death penalty in 3-year-old's murder | Texarkana Today
Get an attorney ad litem( a lawyer for your kids) usually the county or state will pay for this. They will talk to your kids, ex, you, and counselors etc and petition the judge based on the findings. I had to do this with mine. Best thing for our situation. Also the ad litem represents your child until they are an adult so of anything happens against your kids again their lawyer could intervene.
Legally idk…but I would kick her ass💁
Praying for you and your children that they will be back in your home permanently. God can do this.
Call uncle ‘Lucky Luciano’…one unknown slap from a stranger and a whisper in her broken eardrum will set her straight:japanese_ogre: Preying on young kids. Disgusting…
So that you don’t get involved you need to tell the kids if they have any worries about going to their dads or are worried they could speak to a counsellor at the school and maybe the school could put in a complaint instead of yourself
It’s too much in this letter that has happened to your kids and you are still asking what you should do. Do something!!! Stop allowing your kids to be exposed to this abuse. Hell move to China if you have to. A court order is NOT gonna make me sit by and see my kids harmed no ma’am not ever.
You need to file an emergency motion in court. Ask for a Guardian Ad Litem to be appointed to give there opinions. Clearly he needs supervised visits. Honestly if he was guilty of neglect n was so dumb to drive that way why is he still having the kids?! You can take the kids to the police station to report the abuse idk what will come of it with no marks but if she’s doing that it’s absolutely illegal! I hate my sons dad n his psycho gf so I can relate but she’s absolutely not this bad! I’m so sorry.
Dont let them go there. Cops (my area) wont/cant do anything. He will have to get his own attorney to take u to court…
You don’t need a lawyer to go to family court and file a complaint
Get your kids a counsellor and hope they divulge this stuff to them. A counsellor is mandated to report issues regarding minors.
Never ever let them back there regardless! They are your kids and if you know they are not safe then do not let them around these disgusting peasants
Go & hit the Wife over the face with a wooden spoon & see how she likes it!!! Keep reporting to CPS, don’t give up!! I feel so sorry for you & your Children!!
Go to courts and ask for a children’s advocate,every court has them.
See this the stuff right here. I’m glad I don’t have kids. You sound like a sweet person. I would have gotten ratchet and crazy on both of them to point they fear screwing me and the kids. Do you have any other family (preferably males) that can get involved? Like as an intimation step? Sorry you’re dealing with this but cps and the cops not going to do anything until it’s too late. You may have to fight fire with fire.
There are all sorts of spyware around, put 1-2 on your children bags clothes or somewhere don’t even let the kids know it’s there and get some evidence to get your children permanently in your care…
Get a protective order, go back to court for a modification. Get ur oldest a cell phone they can hide in their stuff. Tell them to call 911 if their sm starts to abuse them.
I would kill the bitch and be happy
Child advocates! And Keep calling cps!
You need to get your life together, save some money and get a good lawyer before your kids are killed. You have to keep them away from those two. It shouldn’t be difficult because he obviously doesn’t love them.
find your local woman’s shelter and talk to them – they should be able to help you with the legal stuff – and it’s free.
What a giant mess. I’m so sorry u have to deal with this. Get a lawyer and fight for those kids. And pray, ALOT that no other harm comes to them…
One. Good. Backhand.
I know there are laws and shit. But if some bitch was putting her hands on my kids, I would take a bat to her, and my ex. 🤷
I might get locked up, but them bitches would be learning how to walk with broken knee caps. IDGAF.
I’m always reading about these issues with exes and the kids. I couldn’t do it.
I know everybody is different. But I would kill for my kids. If that’s what it took to keep them safe.
The step-mom would get a surprise slugger to the teeth. Make her scared to move wrong.
Also, never take my advice. 🤦
One sounds like you chose a winner to be involved with. Two it sounds like everyone is using the kids to get at each and the kids may realize this. Please remember kids can and will lie! If CPS is constantly investigating and not finding anything it could be exaggerations on the kids part. And I’m sorry if your hitting kids especially on the face there will be Marks …all you can do is file a lawsuit and lay this all out and hope for the best.
Find a way to vet a lawyer. For anyone that thinks its easy to deal with the system they probably haven’t had to. Good for them cause it’s not fun for anyone. Check legal aid. Let your kids know that you are fighting for them. Your 10 year old is at an age that a judge will take what he says into consideration.
Money or no money, go to court and ask for supervised visit with Dad and his wife.
Ask for full custody as well due to past circumstances.
FIGHT FOR THEM!
They need you, if you are finding out about this stuff pls imagine what you are not finding out.
Pay a couple bitches she don’t know to beat her mf ass and stop letting your kids go over there.
Record everything with the date and what the kids tell you. Write it all down, even the incidents in the past. And then ask the court to have SUPERVISED visitation for your kids and THEIR DAD. Don’t send them back to that place. Talk to CPS and tell them that you fear for the kids life. Let them know what the kids tell you and that they’re scared to go over there. This back and forth thing needs to stop as long as the kids lives are in danger !
Put a nanny cam in a stuffed animal and send it with them get it on video they want be able to deny it then set it up where it comes directly to you on the cloud then the video can’t be tampered with.
U have to go back to cps. I know that they havent been helpful thus far but u gotta keep at it. Also look for an attorney. Maybe u can find one who will work with u on payments so u can ensure the safety of ur children
I would get tiny cameras and put them in the bags of the bookbags and hide them. I also think you should call and check on the kids and if they won’t let you talk to them call the police for a well being check every single time they are there. Also I would file a complaint with the court as this seems to be a bad environment for the kids. I would ask for all visitations with them to be supervised. I would document everything with cps so they can remain involved ( just in case they finally decide to help) also I would get your kids in counseling at school. That counselor will keep cos informed, make sure you also talk to the counselor to tell her what is going on and ask for her help.
You need a paper trail report every incident every time a dr appointment every time to check child out regardless how minor and a restraining order against his wife for your children they can provide your children a lawyer through hiscock legal aid to represent the children
Have somebody kill the bitch in my personal opinion
You gneed a lawyer and STOP calling CPS , it will only make you look bad in court. You either get visitation with DAD only or supervised (there won’t be any over night visits either) or get full custody. If your ex can’t get it through his new wife’s head that she playing a dangerous game that can land her in jail or divorce, then you need to take legal steps. A lawyer will want an accounting of things …start keeping a list and dates.
Id go to court fill for full sole custody get all proof that you can if judge wont give you sole custody then at least press it that you want supervis d visitations
Cut off all visitations get child support from him if he doesnt pay then theres your reason of keepen kids from you
Keep calling cps. It may seem tedious but what happens in the dark sill come to light. Place your kids in counseling and tell them to talk to school counselors about how they feel and what’s going it’ll be good for them in the long run and school counselor and counselor will have document proof of things the kids say and can assist in the proving to cps and the court that the kids aren’t safe aren’t happy and may only need to have supervised visits with dad. Never want them to not have him in their life
I would ask the court for mediation to try and talk to the dad about your concerns and then i would get counciling for the child as soon as possible because the both of you are putting them in the middle of your fights, and then what ever they tell the counselor will be recorded and reported to the court and to child protective services.
First, if ever a problem call police, you get bad things taken care of. CPS has major problems keeping children safe and putting them with the loving parent. Proof they did not get entry the first time, are you kidding me, there was a complaint
Keep them away from him period. You have to protect your children at all cost.
I would call the police and file a report as well as hire a lawyer
Beat her ass with the spoon and throw her in the mud what is good for the goose is good for the gander
Lawyer up and take their asses to court and demand he gets no visitiations without supervision and she cannot be there.
As a CPS worker i can say it can be extremely difficult to prove many of the allegations due to lack of evidence and what is told to the worker. Also, what is classified as abuse or neglect has to meet state statues. Most states you can physically discipline children with physical punishment, leaving marks behind as long as they are not too significant. At that point they usually have to attempt to put services in the home to help the family. The state I’m in, we have to have a lengthy record of reasonable efforts of helping the family and trying to maintain them in the home. But also consider, if the agency takes custody or the judge places custody with you through CINC court once hat court is over custody goes back to what it was prior. The end point is you’ll need a lawyer and to go to court. If you feel abuse or neglect is happening make a report, the agency cannot attempt to stop it or help without the report. History makes a difference also with CPS. More history equates to a record and attempts the agency is taking to prevent abuse or neglect. Hope this helps. When it comes to custody stuff it gets really sticky.
I’d beat the shit out of the other woman and let me tell you the children’s services won’t do nothing because they are getting abused but if you call them and tell them they are getting taken care of that’s when they will do something. They backwards.