If anyone here has had a relationship that struggled and you went to couples counseling, did it really help? Or if anyone has advice on what saved their marriage/relationship. We’re just finding it hard to find the spark again since having our baby 8 months ago.
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Losing that spark with an 8 month at home is very common, now that I have teenagers and went through that and yes even actually breaking up for a couple years is that the spark comes back and leaving has always been one of my biggest regrets.
Not sure what the details truly are but having a baby shouldn’t push your relationship on the edge. Something else is going on that both of you need to figure out. If one person is trying to make things work and the other isn’t… then there is no point.
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How long have you been married…? There were issues before the baby came, don’t blame the baby.
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Marriage counseling only gives you the resources. Everyone acts like it’s this quick miracle fix. I’ve been married for over 15 years. Marriage counseling will not teach your husband to be more empathetic and helpful around the house. Counseling or therapy can teach you to be confident when you tell him what your emotional needs are and how to fill them, and to learn how to delegate household tasks to your partner.
Save your money for a babysitter and dates.
Babies definitely disrupt and change the dynamics of the relationship.
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Oh !!! Everything change after a baby , but I do not think that is a lost cause ( depending of course on how you guys were doing before the baby )
A baby change your priorities, your mood , the time you spend with your partner and even your appearance and this alone can cause depression and low self esteem, it’s important to find a balance between been a parent and been a spouse. Try to spend time alone , go out on dates Al least 1-2 times per month ( without the baby ) show your partner affection and interest etc /
And of course counseling will help but only if you are both on the same page
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My belief is if you need counseling in your marriage then it’s too late anyway. You and your SO tell the counselor what’s going on and he tells you to talk everything out and changes need to be made. But when you go home changes aren’t being made. It takes both to work on a relationship. If one doesn’t then counseling isn’t going to work. Save your money and talk things over at home. If your partner wants the marriage to continue then he will change on his own.
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Losing the spark is very common as log as no one has stepped out of the marriage then it can be saved. Relationships are hard and there are good times and very bad times but as long as you have each others back then you will make it through
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Start by smiling at each other more, greet each other with kindness even if your tired. And have sex! It literally bond’s you chemically. Have it as often as you can. Make time and have fun together. Like is too short to pay bills and die, have some fun. Have fun with your baby and husband as a family together and have some time to yourself too. If he won’t watch the baby then he can pay for a sitter. Good on you for realizing you need help and wanting to do better. Pick one thing to work on at a time. All of it is too much. And if you’re discussing your relationship, don’t yell or raise your voice, accept that you have faults and don’t get defensive. Take turns venting and talking, the other person shuts up lol.
Honestly losing the spark in baby mode is that uncommon. It’s a huge change and needs both to but in way more effort than before baby. So counseling might really work for you if everything was fine before baby. The sooner the better.
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I think this is normal. Both my kids dad’s and I broke up when each kid was a year and a half. Unfortunately baby and toddler stage gets sooo busy you forget to Date like you would have before the child. Maybe get a sitter once a week and do something both of u would do before the child was here
You guys need to communicate maybe have a date night and get a sitter once a week because things are hard when baby is in home to connect with a partner my husband and I had major problems and once we made time for each other and communicated better we reconnected and things have gotten better
My husband and I just had a baby 8 months ago, and we have a 3 yr old and a 10 yr old. We became roommates until we sat down and talked about wants and needs within our relationship. We both lost our sense of self so we needed to find us in order to support the other person, and even if you have to find and hire a babysitter DATE NIGHTS are very very important
You must be young. I’m old. No spark just deep respect commitment and loyalty.
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Marriage counseling, helped us alot. But honestly the whole first year after having a baby is hard. You are both adjusting to your new roles. Each other is no longer the biggest priority in your life. That’s a big adjustment, not to mention, you both have so many more responsibilities now. The best way is to find time for each other. Sometimes that’s pizza and a movie after the baby goes to bed. My husband and I turn on you tube music videos and take turn picking songs, occasionally even dance to one. We also find comedy shows are great! We laugh and let loose a little. Lastly, but most importantly, communicate these thoughts and feelings to each other. He probably feels it to.
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I found marriage counseling helpful, but my now ex husband continued to lie and eventually cheat. So if you BOTH want it to work, then you may find it helpful to get an impartial opinion on your relationship! It sounds like you want it to work!
A short 8 months in with a newborn baby and it’s difficult & stressful and you are talking ‘saving’ an entire marriage??
There were issues before this life event.
Try the counseling however it takes 2 being willing …and honest.
Ballroom dance classes. Get someone to watch the baby and sleep for 2 days straight. Exhaustion saps libido big time.
Marriage is not all ways easy but DONT GIVE UP if u 2 truly love each other
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If both are willing then go for it… I couldn’t even get my husband to go… needless to say now we’re in divorce court
Yikes I think there’s more to this
it is nearly impossible to keep the spark with an 8 month old. They require so much of both of you. In fact to be honest it’s hard to keep the spark with kids period. You have to work at it, hold place for each other, and know that this season will pass. Don’t give up on each other. Losing the spark happens in perfectly happy healthy marriages. We have seasons where we are so in love and some will be a struggle! Unpopular opinion LOVE is a choice we make! Sure you could divorce and get with new people but life has a funny way of showing us that our problems follow us until we work on them. You’ll spend your whole life starting anew. 
Best of luck not all love makes it but the really great ones I promise you they struggled and still choose each other.
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Need to remember what it was before baby
Baby does add stress but commcution is the BIGEST PART!!!
AND TRUST
TALK about it u don’t need a 3rd person tell u what to do to fix your marriage 
You 2 need to talk remember what it was that brought u 2 togather
What it was that made u love one another!!!
Make each other feel special again
Go on dates
Help each other out when. 1 is stressed and have a hard time step in help
It’s hard make 2 people into 1 but push i have been with my hubby 28 years yes we separated but work on our marriage