I need some advice on my kids going to their grandparent’s house (there are three sets of grandparents). I’m all for them going to their house, but how could I set boundaries about telling them I don’t want my kids gone, staying the night all the time? We lived there when my oldest was little, and I felt like I had to let her stay whenever they wanted her, and I felt like a horrible mom all the time, and I felt like she favored them more than me because they would let her do whatever and when I got her home and made her listen I was the bad guy. And I don’t want that to happen again. Any advice would be greatly appreciated
If you don’t want them going that day, say not tonight, sorry. Also the best thing to do is sit down with your children and talk about the behavior you expect when they come home. My children have 2 sets of divorced grandparents, one set is pretty recent. One gma they only see at family gatherings or if we all go for a visit, same with one grampa because he works constantly and we live an hour away from these grandparents. Their other gma plays favorites with my oldest because he’s her first grand baby. She used to take him quite often but hasn’t been as much lately. When he comes home from there he is absolutely horrid to his little brother, his attitude is insane and he thinks he makes all the rules… because at gmas he gets to do whatever he wants whenever he wants. Then we have the other gpa. If he didn’t have to work, I swear my kids would live with him sometimes. He stops in randomly to visit, takes them whenever he gets the chance… but usually they don’t give me as hard of a time when they come home from there. He spoils them, but also makes it known that they have to listen when they come home or they won’t be going again.
Maybe have a talk with your kids or the grandparents about expected behavior when they come home, or if the kids can’t listen, next time they don’t get to go.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I set boundaries with my kids grandparents?
Grandparents won’t be around forever. Let your babies enjoy them while your babies are still young. More likely then not once your babies get older they won’t want anything to do with their grandparents.
I have no advice because I grew up spoiled completely rotten by my grandparents and practically lived at their house. HOWEVER, it’s important to also explain these boundaries to your child as well as the grandparents. My kids know what is expected of them when I’m not around and that I expect them to behave as well outside of our home as they do inside of it. I don’t think they hate you or favor them over you, but grandparents don’t always know the rules you enforce in your home and kids take advantage of that. Lord knows I did. Lol.
Honestly, if you feel that way, you just need to straight up tell them. But also remember, grandparents are special too and need their time with their grandkids, and are usually around to help out when needed without warning, so be careful how you approach it, if you don’t want to sour the relationship.
Just say ‘no’ plan special family night things nights they usually go
Uh all you have to do is say no.
You give them a set regular time they get her overnight (like maybe once a week or every other weekend), and make it clear that this schedule is only for sleepovers they can still visit and such. Then tell them you’ve made a list to keep peace between both your homes. You like them all spending time together and just want to make sure the transition between households is smooth and happy for everyone. So here’s some notes on how you’d like to make the happen. That way you’re involving them and not just talking at them, and they’ll be more likely to be like “ok well let’s try this and see how it goes”. From there you all can modify the notes list as you see fit between ya’lls homes.
Just say no! and also remember they love the kids even though they are annoying and overbearing.
When my mom was a single mom we lived with my grandparents… and then we got our own place and she got my with my step dad…
My grandparents took me every weekend when I was Lil Lil give my mom a break etc…
And I was spoiled. I was the only granddaughter… lol. I got what I wanted…
But my parents always said they had go reprogram me every Sunday…
It’s kinda normal for that part. Lol.
But you can say no… you guys have plans that weekend. Gotta have family time with u guys too…
I loved going to my grandparent’s every weekend. They spoiled me and let me stay up late, but mostly it was bonding. Cooking and baking with my grandma are some of my best memories. Talk to them and let them know some spoiling is ok but that the kids need to know that it is only at their house. Try doing just 1 night with them on the weekends if needed, but don’t take it away all together. I cherish the memories I have as a kid as both my grandparents passed away and never got to meet my children
Let them see them whenever they want and as much as possible
So my kids and I lived with their grandpa (dad’s father) for several years after their dad passed away (we were all living there when he passed) I moved out when my middle child was 4 (her dad passed when she was 15 months old) I moved back to my home town which is 45 minutes away from their grandpa. And they go every other weekend to his house even my youngest child that is not his blood grandchild leaves me. I grew up with no grandpas so I allow them to spend as much time with him as they can since my dad passed away shortly after my first husband did. And this last year their grandpas health has declined. So I have allowed my 12 year old to basically spend all summer with him helping him out. While I miss him and feel like a terrible mom for him being gone for so long I know his grandpa isn’t going to be around forever so I want him to have the memories. And yes the behavior stinks cause grandparents give their grandbabies whatever they want and never say no so us parents have to be the bad guys.
People on here are always complaining about grandparents not being involved now she has got grandparents that want to be involved and she’s upset cause she can’t control the grandparents house you’re lucky to have not two but three sets of grandparents that love your children very much
You are the Mother of those children and with their Father’s help you can set the boundaries. Grandparents do not call the shots.
As someone who grew up without grandparents… let her go. Please. You can’t control everything and you are depriving your children from a learning experience weather it be good or bad in your eyes. So it takes you a couple of days to get them back in line, so what?! It’s a special occasion, they all deserve it and you could you use some free time for yourself.
It sounds like you’re jealous of the time your children are with their grandparents. You never said what the grandparents were doing that was so bad. Or any problems. Children very much need a good relationship with their grandparents. I only wish I could have been so lucky. Count your blessings
I wish we had that problem. My in laws are separated. My mil has never invited her granddaughter fir a sleepover. She’s 15 now.
Limit them to weekends or one night a week?
That’s the difference between parents & grandparents. I remember special treats/stuff at grandma’s house that I couldn’t do at home.
Life is short …. My 2 girls lost their Granny yesterday
Let the grandparents be grandparents, they need these memories with their grandparents, they are not going to do anything to harm your children. You can’t control everyone! You are a bad parent if you don’t trust the love their grandparents have to give.
Decide what you will and will not allow and then tell them. Also tell them what the repercussions will be if said boundary is violated.
So stupid,I am sure their are bigger problems than having Grandparents in their lives…Grow the hell up!!!
One day the grandparents will not be there. There is a bond between a parent and child that will always be. Turn this into a positive…there are three sets of grandparents who are WANTING to take an active role in your childs life. Let them. You can have time to yourself to do things you enjoy or go do something with your SO. Choose your battles and this one I see you all being on the same team.
You can try to set boundaries to keep them in control but as far as them going to spend time, grandparents won’t be around forever and the relationships are special.
You should appreciate the help.
I was always at my gran and grandads house when I was younger they took me on holiday with them spoiled me rotten that’s what grandparents do both have passed now and I miss them and hate how my children now have no grandparents who take them or bother with them I feel like they have/are missing out on what I had growing up even though I spoil them still nothing beats your grandparents if I was u I’d let your kids go and enjoy there time there x
My babies are lucky to have a many grandparents in their lives. I had all of my grands and great grands growing up, including a couple of step grands and it was great having that many of them. My sisters and I spent every single weekend with one grandparent or another or we would each go to ones house blah blah
My parents and grands love mg babies so, and my mom spoils them to an extent while still making mind and my grand, their great grand let’s my almost5 year old already extremely difficult and sometimes defiant (but also sometimes so very sweet) get away with anything. I know that’s how it’s supposed to be a grandmas bc I remember well with the same grandma getting to do all kinds of things I couldn’t at home. However times have changed and kids seem to be more diff these days to keep control of a schedule bc there are so many distractions and etc. When they already push the boundaries at home and then are given no rules at grandmas it’s hard. I’ve had to have a talk with her about limiting caffeine, and etc nothing major, I have no safety concerns just try for a somewhat normal bedtime schedule and etc so it’s not hell on wheels when they return from grandmas. I get it, I’m so glad they have each other and I know they will all be gone one day. I don’t know what I will do without my grandma. But it’s ok to set boundaries too so that life isn’t so difficult when returning home. I totally get it!
Grandparents spoil their grandchildren always have. We have the grandkids spend the night every Friday. And they come over almost every day for a few hours
Sorry I have to agree with setting time limits and boundaries. Grandparents should get to be grandparents, just that; they should not be spending so much time with your children that they are raising them. I watched my mother do this to my sister’s daughter, she resented my sister/her mom for not letting her have her way all the time and she was totally spoiled rotten. My mother in law did this with her oldest grandchild, he was given everything by them and never appreciated anything.
This turns them into users, constantly looking for some one who will support them and tell them how wonderful they are. Being loved and catered to is great in small doses, but children need guidance, rules, and that that is their parents role. NOT the grandparents.
Release your foot from the control pedal…
Grand parents spoil the grand kids. It’s the parent’s job to discipline the children though. I wish i had my mom over to watch my daughter because I know she would not charge me at all. She’s just happy to be with her grand kids, making memories with them. My ex husband’s parents are the same way as my mom. Now, I got to be charged just to have someone watch my child. I guess, appreciate it more.
My child sees his grandparents usually once or twice a week for sleepover. Mostly on weekends as my son has school and sports during the week so can make it much harder to coordinate around that.
We did supper nights, they went after school, enjoyed playtime and supper and they made memories with them they did the overnights once in a while and day trips to a zoo or fair. They always helped us out and I tried to make sure my kids had those memories I missed with my grandparents living so far away. Always be kind to those who may help you
Its a hard balance. But let the kids be with their grandparents and make those memories. My case is different cause my sister and I are 6.5 years apart. We lost my moms dad very early my sister remembers bits and pieces unfortunately for me he passed the July before I came in Oct. We lost my Dads parents in 80 and 82 and I was 5 and 7. I remember them but not as well as my sister does and sometimes I feel like I was robbed from having them as long in my life as my sister had. I was my moms moms favorite cause I was just like her. And because I came along later I missed her crazy years. But was with her almost everyday later in life and never left when she got sick. It was kinda like my Dads parents were my sisters grandparents and My moms mom was mine. Obviously not true all of our grandparents loved all of us the exact same. It really is about the love and memories you make. You living your daughter and correcting her when she comes home yeah right that second you are gonna be the bad guy but if roles were reversed whoever says no is automatically the bad guy. I know mine told me no on lots of occasions apparently my first word was no. Not mama or dada. I just lost my mom last year and you know what I remember most from her. Her unconditional love no matter. She taught me everything except who to live without her love and being that cheerleader in my ear everyday. Basically your call of course but no kid can have to much love. And be easy on yourself they never remember the bad guy when going over the memories of their childhood!!! Good luck!!
That’s the fun thing about staying with grandparent the rules are more relaxed coz it’s ment to be fun time making memories my son is the same after being at my mum and dad’s but after a day he’s fine again i just let it go coz i kmow he’s had a fun time
Explain to the kids that the rules at home are the same what happens at grands house stays at grands house it’s how grands do it they spoil them
My kids always stayed a lot with their grandparents on the weekends . Unfortunately they both died before by the time they was 9 . My kids still cherish every memory of staying there and how much they miss them , they were 9,6 when they passed . They are adults now but my then 9 yr old is in heaven as well at the age of 25 he left this world . He left behind at that time 14 month baby boy only grand baby he’s 3 now and is the only thing that keeps me here on this earth . Yes i have 2 other kids but that boy is saving my life now . Grandparents don’t live forever give them their time .
Idk… I am not seeing specifics here. I as a parent felt like this BUT truly realized it’s a blessing. As a mom you are going to gel this way a lot lol, towards dad, friends parents etc. I am going to say unpop opinion it’s likely some of your feelings are completely valid while others are likely jealousy
Just be upfront about your concerns, they was parents them selves, surely they will understand! tell them you feel stretched pleasing everyone, so therefore your getting no time with your kids yourself! I can’t see why they would have an issue! But don’t forget grandparents arnt always forever depending on age, so you equally don’t want to cut short what precious time they have with the kids! As once they are gone, they are gone my love! X
My advice would be to be a bitch & stop caring so much about there feelings (I no it sounds harsh) put yourself first & do what you want to do with YOUR kids xx
Set up a routinely day or night per month where your kids visit/stay?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I set boundaries with my kids grandparents?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I set boundaries with my kids grandparents?
Grandparents & grandkids have a different relationship. I loved being with my grandparents because they let me do anything. It’s the parents job to be the bad guy it’s just how it is. Grandparents job is to spoil because they had their time raising kids. Should be grateful your children have grandparents that want to be involved or still alive for that matter. I’d just tell my kids you can do that at nana’s/ papa’s but when you come home its my rules. Pretty simple really. You are the parent
Wow. It’s so annoying when people tell you to just “be grateful” and that’s just “how it is”. My mil always respected the parents when she became a grandma. She’s gone now and I still won’t let anyone not respect my parenting requests… I get there’s a “different type of love” but, why be ok with being the bad parent? I’m definitely not. I want my children and I to be close and them to love being around me, not dreading being home with me because they’d rather be somewhere else.
Saying “no” is fine, you are their parent, if you want them home with you, keep them home. I think a lot of people use the grandparent excuses just to get rid of their kids. You also won’t be around forever!
Tell them exactly that. You need them to respect your parenting and follow your rules. Grandparents will be grandparents and spoil their grandkids, that’s to be expected. However, your word is is final…they need to respect it and so do your kids.
No is a complete sentence.
“No not tonight.” Is acceptable. You will have to get comfortable with not being popular for a while. be assertive! be be assertive!
I would try to talk to them about rules but in the end I would let the kids be with the grandparents. All my grandparents are gone. My biggest memories in life are ones that my grandparents are apart of. Your kids will have the memories for life. Let them have the fun, happiness and love with the grandparents. When you have grandkids one day, you will understand the relationship
Tell them no. If they can’t act as an extension of your parenting when your kids are with them, your kids don’t get to go with them. Period. It’s disrespect.
Definitely set boundaries. I’m a mom of 3 my oldest son had the most time with my parents, the lived in the apartment below me (10 stairs away) and while my son was a good kid any time I had any rules at all or if he was grounded my parents went over me. They’d let him in there house lock the door and give him pop, ice cream etc and tell him he didn’t have to listen to me. For me it caused a huge problem parenting as he became a mid teenager. Theres ways for your children’s grandparents to see them but they need to be "grandparents " and show your kids that they respect you and adults should always make sure to respect how a parent is raising their kids.
Just my bad experience with that.
I have found being honest even if it might be harsh is the best way. Not a fan of people stepping on my wishes for my children
Be grateful you have grandparents who want to be involved. I bawled my eyes out reading a book to my toddler today because it was a book about how much a grandma loves her grandkids. We have grandparents near who never want to spend time with him. Its heartbreaking
Honesty is the best policy. I’d just twll them youre not comfortable with them being gone so often. Give a time frame like once a week or month, whatever youre okay with, and leave it at that. If they dont like it, then the kids dont go over.
I’ve honestly stopped stressing out about what goes on at the grandparents houses. I see how much fun he has with them and the amount of love they share for each other which is something I never got to experience growing up and it’s absolutely beautiful.
As long as he’s safe, fed, and loved that’s all I can hope for. Plus it gives my husband and I time to ourselves so we can reconnect and date again. We can restart our routine when our son returns home
Just be honest about how you’re feeling and try to find a solution that works for everyone.
Have that convo with themselves and the kids. That way it’s no confusion if/when someone says “well ya mama said”… a conversation has already been had so just be positively assertive and stand your ground.
It’s nothing wrong with how u feel that’s me everytime I get my baby back from her dad in the summer we have to redirect her
Grandparents and grandchildren have a completely different relationship to parents and their children. It is ok for this. You just need to be open with the grandparents about how you feel. What your rules are at home. Etc. I came from a military strict family. Bed at a set time meals at a set time. Tv at a set time. Chores on a set day. But at my grandparents I was spoilt. I was treated like an only child and stayed up late. Got up late. Watched tv when I wanted. Etc I loved it and yes I gave me parents hell when I got home because I wanted that life style at home too. However my parents never budged! I learnt the hard way which is ok it’s a life lesson. The more I pushed and demanded or acted out at home the tougher the punishment got. Eventually I learnt that my visits to my grandparents was a treat that I loved as much as a holiday. But the rules at home were not going to change.
My parents didn’t ask my grandparents to change the way they treated me. I simply had to learn the difference between what was allowed and where. Something a lot of kids these days don’t learn sadly.
My advise……. Talk to the grandparents without being defensive because you feel they treated you differently (that is normal) just tell them your child’s behaviour when they return home so they are aware. Be prepared for little sympathy tho because they are indeed grandparents. And at home stick to your guns. Keep your rules. Add some punishments in there for the bad behaviours. Your child will push and push you to your very limits but they will learn to respect your rules along the way and eventually. One day you will be having this exact conversation with them about their children. Good luck.
I wish I could help but my dad and I lived with his parents for awhile, and my mom and I lived with her parents. I was the only grandkid at the time and now my bond to them is unbreakable. I have such an amazing bond with them, don’t be like my stepmom who has ruined any chance my siblings have with my dad’s parents. She won’t let them spend the night, she doesn’t let them go spend time with them, nothing. And it is because of me. She doesn’t want them to turn out like me. But honestly it’s her loss. I am an extremely hard worker I learned work ethic from my grandparents, I learned healthy coping, eating, relationship and social skills from them. I was taught manners, please and thank you. My grandparents disciplined me and they have shown me so much love. So what I am saying is set boundaries but don’t keep them from them. They need their grandparents just like they need you.
You know, my boy went to his grandparents and got totally spoilt and I was so annoyed. Cos he came home and I was the bad momma who had rules. They never listened. But really he was so spoilt and so loved that now I’m older I can only thank them for loving him so much. He’s a good lad now. So try not to worry. As long as they are not being put in any harm.
My husbands mom lives with us and my mom and grandmother lives together 10 min down the road and my husband and I both work over night and the grands does whatever and gives our almost 6 month old whatever she wants as long as it dont hurt her even if we say no they still do it. Parents are the bad guys and thats how it is but they’ll never follow our rules as they have their own rules at their own homes and its their job to spoil them like that.
Your house your rules/ their house their rules. And yet You wish others possibly twice your age to completely change their way of life and to then live just as you do? And teaching your kids that just living life in a different way is a problem to you? Now that is curious…indeed.
I would be offended if my daughter wouldn’t let my grandkids come and see me. Why do u feel like a bad mom? Sounds like u might be the one with issues. I always wanted to be with my grandparents. They loved me and it showed.
If they can’t respect your rules cut ties with them, that’s what I had to do with my sons grandma on his dads side, she kept doing stuff behind my back without my permission with my son and made me worry about my sons safety so now she doesn’t get to see him anymore
You can try and set boundaries however the memories your children are making with them will be more powerful than any boundary. Be thankful the grandparents want to be in the children’s lives. My so called dad hasn’t met my almost 3 year old and met my 10 year old twice if that! X
So I read through a handful of the responses and found good insight from those on both sides. Yes, there is a difference in the relationship of parent and child vs grandparent and grandchild, but I do think it’s possible for everyone to work together and have mutual respect with regards to caretaking. Sometimes, as mothers, it’s hard for us to “let go” of the control we have/want with regards to how we raise our kids. Now before you jump down my throat, I don’t mean “control” in a bad way, but control as in being the ultimate decision makers for our children. At the end of the day, I don’t think it’s terrible to want rules and boundaries in place for those who are watching our kids, BUT those have to be clearly communicated and agreed upon. At the end of the day, the grandparents may be doing something that you don’t like without even knowing it. We, as parents, may even need to educate our parents because (let’s be serious) things can and HAVE changed since the time THEY were parents.
My boys are spoiled by my parents, no question about it. I had a problem with my mom going overboard buying my son gifts at holidays (she still buys him too much in general, but I pick and choose my battles now). Anyway, I felt like she was stepping on my toes and as the parent, it made me feel like I was in competition with her as the Grandmom. As much as it upset me, I never mentioned it at first, but finally it got to a breaking point where I just exploded with emotion. She had no idea how it made me feel, and she has since asked if it was ok for her to do X, Y, Z and we set limits and boundaries on how much she buys. In fairness, she just wants to love on my boys as much as she loved on my sister and myself when we were growing up; my kids are lucky for that! She even said something (which stuck in my mind), but now she feels like she has a chance to do some things differently with my boys that she wished she could have with us.
I don’t think it’s reasonable to implement a “it’s my way or the highway” mentality with your kids’ grandparents (unless it’s a total safety issue), as everyone parents differently; and again, there’s an inherent difference in the relationships/dynamics (grands usually get to the be fun ones!). I DO believe you should dig your heels in with major sticking points, and you should all be on the same page with them, especially if it’s areas that children benefit from with consistency (certain dietary restrictions, general bed time, punishments for certain behaviors, etc). That doesn’t mean that there won’t be occasional slip-ups.
At the end of the day, you get the final say for your kids and family, but I’d challenge you to be open and upfront with your expectations for others who are watching your kids. If not, how are they supposed to know?
A soft place to fall , have fun , break a few rules & be lil angels (in a gmas eyes) is what should happen at grandparents… its ok if the kids know there’s a difference between parents & grandparents… that shows parents are doing their job ! The parents are the ones to raise , set rules & punish… Gmas just make it all better !
Be thankful they want to spend time with the kids . I never got to spend a single night with mine as a child . Trust me , the extra love , memories & bond will be worth it one day …
Sit back and smile …enjoy the break !
A few days ago I was out early with my grandson …we stopped at a gas station . Before 8 am folks were buying hotdogs … he says Gigi I sure would like a hotdog… so guess what he gad for breakfast ?? A gas station hotdog he grinned & ate every bit of it … sometimes ya just gotta break the rules because the memory is a much bigger deal …
Children can never have too many people who love them!
My children knew that there were rules at home, and that their grandparents had different rules, or none! didn’t matter, they felt loved and got to have fun and spend time with people who loved them unconditionally!
Now they are grown and their memories of their time spent with their grandparents are wonderful! It was the same for me with my grandparents, and now for me to do with my grandbabies: chocolate for breakfast, YES! Cocopops just before dinner, YES!! Run around outside in the rain, YES!
My beautiful Nana, used to give us fizzy drinks and icecream all day, not something that would be allowed at home! And she got to do it for my kids too before she passed often before breakfast! and we all smile fondly at those memories, because ultimately that’s all we end up with… memories!
Have a sit down with each grandparent with the same boundaries. Not only does it stress you out, it also makes you feel less of a parent. I’ve been there. Your child needs to know that they will abide by the rules whether at home or with the grandparents. If they can’t respect your boundaries then do something about it.
You must have had not such awesome grandparents that you want to dictate your children’s relationship with theirs. Grandparents are the best part of childhood
Oh honey they do favor them over Mom and you’re exactly right it’s because they allow them to get away with anything and we don’t we set rules and boundaries because they are necessary we’re grandparents can get away with it and giving them whatever they want and spoiling them having said all of that I went through something very similar with my son and my own mother mind you I have three children but only my son was she always trying to get I had to break it down for her that I am raising my children coming to her house was a privilege and that it was not going to happen every single weekend I wanted to spend time with my family as a family and that includes my boy. It was hard for her to digest especially since she has custody of my nephew and my sister would just as well let her raise her kids I do not agree I don’t think it is healthy for your children to go somewhere every single weekend you need to set up a time with three sets of grandparents maybe let him know that there are 4 weeks in a month one weekend is absolutely yours the other three they can fight over but there are four weekends in a month and no you have every right to want to spend time with your children on the weekends as well.
I use to feel this same way almost identical situation but it was my son. I was livid honestly and jealous and yes I had to “retrain” my son. For his diet and discipline etc bc there were no rules at gma’s but as time has gone by and I see the amazing relationship and trust he built with her snd guess what mama survived and we have a great relationship. Gma won’t be around forever . To set boundaries you first have to have an adult convo with gma and set ground rules for your child. But remember children see and hear more than we realize . Pick your battles and make sure you’re thinking of the child and not yourself
Nicely say no not tonight. If they insist or fight back simply say I said no. We set a schedule with my parents. Kids get 1 night a week with them. Idc what they do unless we have something important the next day. Then I tell her I need them in bed by this time so they aren’t cranky tomorrow. You have to set boundaries. Kids always prefer grandparents they are fun as they should be and your parents won’t be around forever so let them enjoy each other while they have the chance
That’s easy tell them no when they ask and state why just like you said or screen shot this post and send it to them. If they don’t respect your boundaries then maybe it’s time for a relational break.
I’d would say exactly how you feel, without conflict. This is such a hard thing!
How many sets of grandparents?
Following. Going through the exact same thing.
Tell your children “Not here, you will do that on your grandparents house haay la”
Your house, your rules.
Be grateful to have that help from grandparents. Not all are that fortunate. But also just set your boundaries. They’re still your kids and your rules apply
You’re gonna be the bad guy may as well be to them. Your job is to raise your babies to not be assholes. You get to choose. If they don’t like that, fuck them. The choice is absolutely yours.
Grandparents are supposed to spoil grandkids. You must not have had grandparents? Be glad they even spend time with the kid
I’ve been consistent, I share my daughter with her dad and his family every other weekend sometimes a long week and she used to come back pretty bad because she got her way there. But the first day she gets back and tries it, I correct the behavior right away and tell her that isnt how we act in our house.
U too will be grandparents one day,no matter what you say us grandparents dnt listen to you parents ie your are our children having grandkids is our 2nd chance to spoil them making up for time we could not have with u while we were working our asses off to provide for you our son our daughter we will soonbe gone from this earth so grant us the pleasure of making memories with our grandkids and i thank you
I would tell them no I went to my grandparents every weekend unless they wanted to do something. I think every parent becomes a bad guy to their children at some point weather it’s when they’re little or when they are teenagers. I say if you’re not the bad guy at least once in your life as a parent are you even parenting right? Lol. I wouldn’t send them every weekend either but that what worked for my great grandparents cause thats who I lived with was my great grandparents and I think they just needed a break every now and again so they send us to just our grandparents. My great grandparents also raised my mother tho just to have her turn out not to be the greatest person. My mother is better now that were older and I still love her, but some people just have a hard time finding their own way in life.
You do know what a grandparents job is, don’t you? To love and spoil them, more than they did you . You won’t understand till you have your own.
Umm just tell it like it is, in a normal way…their your kids just set the rules and see to it that it’s adhered too…it’s only gonna be as difficult as YOU choose to make it…just talk to em be honest and that’s it, their your kids sooooo…
Put your foot down. And do it in a hurry. I had to with my parents when my son only wanted ice cream and to just do whatever. Now we’re all on the same page with everything
Kids learn there are different rules at different houses …
What happens and grandma’s stays at grandma’s … they have a completely different relationship … It’s how it works …
I did was set out a day of the week or every other week. Sometimes all three girls went the same night, sometimes we rotate it you got to stay.
Just be blunt with them and tell them
That’s what kids do. Get used to it. You’re their parent.
Let them spend time with their grandparents, they will always favor you and you will never ever regret them having made wonderful memories with the grandparents when they are gone. The memories our kids make with our parents are supposed to be about being spoiled and getting away with stuff they don’t get away with at home. I wish my mom was here to spoil my kids. My boys are 18 & 15 and she passed when they were just 10 & 7. What I wouldn’t give for her to spoil them with love and lack of rules right now.
Whatever happens at grandparents stay over is one rule in there house but when kids home just remind them its mum an dads rules
You should be thankful that your kiddos have grandparents that love and spoil them. That’s their job, is to give them whatever they want
As long as they’re not in harms way, I say let them get spoiled for a few days. Pick your battles.
I used to be at my grandparents house allllllll the time. Like 3 nights a week. It makes me sad that my two boys (age 2 & 4) will never grow up like that. My in laws never take my kids, like once every 6-8 weeks if we beg her. My parents take the boys like once every other week, maybe once a week. Which I’m thankful for, but I still wish they had that experience growing up like I did. I loved spending all my time over there.
it is wonderful that they form a special bond, There is nothing wrong with that. AS for them spending the night, Let them, once in a while, It gives you & your husband of free time to enjoy, go out, or stay home & don’t have to worry about the kids. Take advance of it, Not every weekend but every so often is nice all around
If the grandparents can’t follow your parenting rules and respect your wishes I wouldn’t let then go there
Let them see them as much as they want they aren’t going to be around forever plus the grandparents will probably get sick of having kids around all the time so will ask for time less and less