My child’s father and I are recently going through a divorce, however we are and have always been on good terms with one another. We are doing everything without lawyers and being very civil with one another. My question is how can we stop child support from happening? He is a great father and does what he can to help out with our child, the last thing I want is for him to struggle when there is no need for it. Between the both of us we make ends meet and we both help support our child.
If you haven’t gone before the court requesting child support, there’s no child support.
Just don’t file for it
When I got divorced I just put 0 in the support blank on the forms.
Not sure what state where I live unless you file for it our unless u get any government help he shouldn’t have to pay
Just tell them u don’t need it
You can have a parent to parent agreement. It doesn’t have to to through child support department. Skip that paperwork. However if you have any help from state services they will require it knowing he’s the father
I explained to the judge exactly why I didn’t want child support.
Stipulate it in the divorce papers. Your attorneys should be able to handle it.
Just tell them he supports the child I will not make him pay
I did this, so In your divorce papers you need to put an agreement to no child support. Nobody can then request it for at least 3 years. They give the 3 years so then after that, if agreed terms are not followed then you can file.
Tell the judge you don’t want him paying it and why. That’s exactly what I did and my ex husband has never paid a penny to me in child support since 2014 when custody was established.
Depending on the state, you may not be able to.
In your divorce papers put no child support and the terms you agree to. Like he pays half of childcare and buys half of school supplies and clothes needed for the child. It should be that easy
Do you get state insurance or food stamps? If you do, you might not have a choice
Private agreement or opt out completely
Umm you are not forced to do child support! You are doing it yourself. Just advice get everything in writing not good idea not have an attorney or mediator. At anytime the Whole situation can change in a blink of an eye
I signed papers stating I did not want or need support. Never even saw a judge just used a lawyer
Just dont file for it but in all honesty file for it. My ex and i were the exact same way AT FIRST he got a gf and has fucked me. Im on DISABILITY paying child support and he used my disability against me so he has custody except everyother weekend
Unless you’re going to need to be on any type of government assistance (food stamps, day care assistance, health insurance) child support doesnt HAVE to be filed for. But if you are on government benefits they will make you apply for child support unless you can show that you are getting it regularly from him on your own and claim it as part of your income for the application. I would highly suggest getting a separate bank account JUST for any money he gives you so if it’s ever needed you can more easily prove that he is helping pay. That or get a notebook and every time he gives you money, or makes a purchase you write down the date, how much etc.
You have to ring child support yourself and explain to them you’re doing a private agreement. You have to be really clear with them if the funds are hitting your account. Be very firm in telling them you would prefer to do this privately.
You should be able to just shut the case down.
Through a mediation agreement signed by all parties. Once that’s done child support office will need that proof. That’s what I did because I didn’t expect my kids father to live off of next to nothing while we have 50/50.
If you file for state funded assistance you will not have a choice but to report to child support enforcement.
Don’t be on state assistance and tell them you don’t want child support. If you end up on state assistance someone will have to pay.
If you already filed you have to go to court and that’s gonna take a long process to stop it
Discuss that with both lawyers, make it known.
I went threw this here on Tx and told the courts that I didn’t want child support because he has another son and never pays the court granted my wish. I know it’s not the same but if you explain yourself to the judge he may side with you but they look out for the child
As long as yall aren’t getting help from the state you won’t have to do child support they only way it’s enforced is threw the state
Unless you get state assistance they will have you file for child support.
It depends on the state you’re in. In Alabama child support is mandatory no matter what the parents want, and it’s considered court ordered so non payment will land the non custodial paying parent in jail. I went thru this with my ex, except I didn’t want it bx i knew it would be a battle to get it there was no way to get around it. I would consult with an attorney to see what you’re local laws are and what you’re options are.
Right now… what about in the future? Get an agreement on paper in case you need it bc it’s for your child.
I told my husband, we are separated, if child support got ordered I would just give him the money back every month. I have no need 4 it. He will willingly pay 4 anything our kids need. I make enough to pay bills and everything else. The only thing I care about is he buys the diapers and wipes. I could buy those but I let him. Saves me a little money. He usually gives me the money or he gets the stuff himself.
My ex and I agreed to an amount- not the amount the state said . It was just in the paper work.
If you don’t open a case with them then they’re is no court ordered child support.
I drew up our separation papers and divorce decree. You put in it what you want, if both agree, of course.
Maybe just reimburse him when you receive it?
Don’t file for it, it’s not an automatic thing that just happens unless you push for it so I wouldn’t worry about it if it’s brought up then say you don’t want it
Don’t depend on the state in no form of way and you should be able to.
You ring up child suport and tell them you have a private agreement then may have to get a. Court date
What my current husband & I (long story why I was even involved) did with his ex wife is, I created an agreement that when the minor child was with us, we took care of everything such as medical, dental, school supplies, sports, clothes, shoes, etc and when the minor child was with her, she does the same. She had the minor child on her medical insurance due to it was the better choice and we paid for any co-pays that was needed. I also added him to my insurance as well just in case. She agreed with it and the judge signed off on it. My husband & I weren’t married at the time.
As long as you aren’t getting any state assistance and don’t file for it then it won’t happen.
That agreement is between y’all. You do not have yo go through the Attorney General. If they get in touch with dad if you apply for benefits you can always tell the A.G. you do not wish to do it… However, it’s an on going process if you should ever apply for benefits lime I had to for a bit.
We did this with my husbands ex-wife when we took custody of my step-daughter. We just put in the agreement that she would pay for half of extra-curricular activities and then just never made her.
Don’t stop the child support, you will regret it.
have him pay you, & then you send it back to him, so on the books he’s done what the “papers” say he’s supposed to do.
All 8 did was go to court house in Illinois where I live and get a motion to stop child support but they have to pay state if they owe,it was show up and sign few papers literally simple.you don’t have to explain why but both need to be present to sign papers
If y’all are keeping it out of the courts. Then there will be no child support drawn.
Y’all are good.
Side note. I love when people can do this and stay civil!
You can tell the judge you just want to keep the child support case closed(as in neither one have to pay child support unless someone files otherwise)because you don’t believe that it’s an issue right now and both parents are paying their dues for the child,without CS.That is what my ex husband and I did in court during our divorce.
You type up agreement on thar. My relatives did & neither pays support. They each help w what is needed at least in n.c.
That’s generally worked out as part of the divorce settlement, no?
When my ex and I got divorced we had to send our divorce papers through the judge several times before she gave up and signed off on no child support. We both provide for our kids and we get along.
I filed for divorce and yes when I did I filed for medical and snap benefits. When you do that they do want the information for the child’s father to go after him for child support. They do send out a letter stating you have certain amount of days to respond stating that you DONT want to put him on support otherwise they will do so automatically if their is no response. I also went to the court date and told the judge and state department representative that I did not wish to have child support because we both provide for the child and the support was not needed or wanted.
If you want to message me privately feel free.
You need to speak to a divorce lawyer in your state because all of your question very much depends on the state in which you live. I live in Indiana when I got divorced we did it ourselves to save money we had to write up the terms of our divorces property custody everything never once did either one of us think about child support we agreed on the different custody things whatever we filled out paperwork that was sent to us by the court for income to determine whether or not one of us needed to pay child support ended up having to pay $16 a wk for my son because I covered his health insurance through my job. Also required when you get divorced in the state of Indiana unless it’s changed since I’ve gotten divorced if you had minor children you had to go through parenting classes so that you could learn to co-parent together outside the relationship now mind you like I said me and my ex did our own divorce and paperwork and filed with the judge and the child support was established for $16 a week because of health insurance but we did not have to take the parenting classes the court gave us a pass on it because we did so well in showing the court we could be amicable and work together even in our divorce etc and paperwork. So if I were you that’s where I’d start u can get a free consultation with a divorce lawyer in your area so u can ask these specific questions so that you know what your options are
When I was in Michigan, I had to request this through the friend of the court. We both went there, and signed some paperwork basically saying that I would be solely responsible to have health insurance on my child at all times until she turned 18, and in return, he wouldn’t have to pay child support.
Kudos to you for being a great human!
Be careful filing for divorce without an attorney, if your financial situation changes you might not be able to change it. Also everything seems cool right now, but fair warning eventually he will get a girlfriend and some won’t have your kids best interest as being number one and a lot of men no matter what you think right now will do a 180 once they are involved in another relationship.
As long as ur not on state aid
Request an exemption.
They dont get involved unless you request them to be involved
You can go to the courthouse. Unless you’re getting welfare
Send him the child support card. That way when he pays it, it still lands in his pocket.
If you are on state aid (cash, medical, food) then they may make you apply. Or you will be denied for being noncompliant. You can contact the child support office and sign a declaration to refuse support for good cause. (In a relationship together, no known father, domestic abuse, etc) And the case will be closed. With an option to reopen later, if needed. If you go to family court you can tell the court that you waive child support.
If no court is involved then you don’t have to report child support or anything. We have a no child support agreement even though we went through mediation. We just pay half of all expenses and extras are always discussed prior to permissions (tball, swimming, etc) there are things I do that I don’t put into consideration or ask him to help with- school clothes shopping (I’m a shopaholic so it wouldn’t really be fair to him ) haircuts and girly days. I’m sure there are things he pays for that I’m unaware of. He includes my husband in parenting choices and I love his gf.
Kudos to you all for co-parenting amazingly!
Just hand it back to him when it comes in.
Don’t make things harder than they are. It will cost YOU and HIM to go about it legal like. Just give it back. No one will know unless you tell. It’s no one’s business but yours and his anyway.
You both must agree and put the stipulation in writing.
Very clearly state
Parties have agreed to $0 per month in child support. Neither party shall pay child support to the other party. Each party will be responsible for providing for all the child’s needs during their parenting time.
You need it to reflect that it’s agreed upon, and you are sharing equal time. If not, the law is going to try forcing it. Some states have a minimum of $50 a month, especially if either of you will use any type of assistance including state medical.
In our state we just a hearing and 5old them we want it at zero while we do our own papers for our private arrangement
We have a private arrangement so no c.s is needed and ird are happy with that. Good on you two for staying civil. Good luck!
While waiting for paperwork…yall could just rotate the cash. He pays and u give it back? Idk if u wana do that tho
Even on assistant if you are civil you can sign papers to waive support (wi) but things may different where you are
Don’t file for child support or any type of assistance
You would have to go to the child support office. However if you receive any state assistance they will not stop it it’s an automatic thing they do if you and the father of your child are not legally married.
Depending on where you live, you may not even need to file.
Wow, you are amazing. I tried to do this with my ex. They were a monster
Just call them and say you have a private agreement, they will send him and you papers of what he should pay each week/fortnight and that’s it
i went to my local child support office and wrote on a piece of paper that i did not wish to collect child support from my two youngest"s dad cuz i knew he could never pay it n all i wanted was for him to have a relationship with his two kids with me, which i know he’ll do if he doesn’t have that burden, n it has never been an issue since!
Long as you don’t go after welfare of any kind they won’t enforce it if you’re handling things out of court aswell
Refuse to comply/cooperate w the state on it… they’ll cancel ur case
Yesss love seeing this I’m thankful to be in a similar situation he still had to pay for a bit but I always gave it back and we kept record of everything
If you haven’t completed the divorce discuss it with your lawyers or tell the judge you are amicable & not needing court ordered child support because he does support.
I didn’t get child support my kids dad because back then I told the judge I didn’t want it when he was involved. I received food stamps and did not get child support
In my state you have to start the process by submitting a petition. If you don’t initiate it, it won’t happen
If you’re in a state with welfare reciprocation, if you collect any type of state benefits, child support is mandatory, or you will have your benefits suspended for non compliance. If you’re not on assistant, you simply file a no support request with your divorce papers. Both of you sign it, it makes it much easier. The judge will verify at the final hearing. I would strongly suggest that you make sure the legal documents stipulate you have the option to request support at a later date. Things can change with time, and it’s always a good thing to have the option open just incase. But bravo to the two of you for having your child’s best interest in mind. I worked for Child Support, and dealing with parties involved made me walk away from it all.
you can just call and stop it over the phone
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I recommend keeping child support in place. What happens if he remarries and stepmonsyer doesn’t think she should have to pay for your kids?
There may not be a choice. There isn’t in my state, its mandatory
You can opt not to receive/claim for it. At least in my state. I didn’t want my kids’ father to struggle either.
Im on good terms with the father of my child. I also still needed govt assistance so he had to go on CS. We both went to court and agreed upon a shockingly low amount that doesn’t make it hard on him on weeks his bills are due and whatnot and he helps me out extra on weeks he has it
Does your state automatically put the father on child support I thought it was something you had to apply for.
Wow!! Why can’t all moms be this way when the dad wants and is in the child’s life and does help with her/him.
But to answer your question, child support doesn’t start automatically with a divorce unless it’s in the divorce papers. So if y’all choose not to put child support then it will not be started. If y’all were to go to court then child support can be added to court orders.
If you are in a mandatory state request any money is paid directly to you you do not want to go through child support enforcement. That way you don’t have to accept any money from him and then they only way to get any money in future if your situation changes is to take him back to court for enforcement.
Depends on where you live, if you receive any government assistance like EBT or medicaid they might start the process for you and can lose your benefits if you refuse to file for it .
If you are not, I think that you can refuse even by phone
If it has been already started, you can file for a dismissal. I know when I go for hearings, they ask me if I want the state to continue to collect. And I’ve seen people go before the commissioner and request a dismissal. Your best bet is to call the child support division and request to speak to them about it.
You can talk with the foc and put it in hold. However do know some people change for the worse when they get into a new relationship. It may start off good but not end good.
If you get state ins theyll take it from him anyway.
Depends on the state . Some states require support
In colorado we initially filed 50/50 and opted no child support since we planned on supporting them equally when each parent had them. Very short lived but everyone’s situation is different. If you are on government assistance then he has to pay CS rather than the community supporting your child.
If not, give it back to him each month? Seems like an easy enough thing to agree on if you really won’t need the extra help financially