This post is to get stuff of my chest. So im a new mom i have a baby boy who will be 6 months on the 25th and i know parenting isn’t competition , but for some reason i take it that way because i feel other parents are doing better for there baby then i am and i also feel if someone does something with or for there baby that i didn’t i feel i need to . It just makes me feel not a good mother i just want whats best for my baby but no matter what i do i feel i dont meet that standard. is this normal to feel this way and is there anything i can do to not feel this way?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I stop feeling like I am not a good mother?
All you need to do to be a good mother is feed ,cuddle, love and keep your baby safe.S#d what all the other mums say they are doing and how their little Johnny or wotever slept through the night as soon as he popped out the womb!!!
Don’t worry about what other moms do or don’t do. Just love, feed, cuddle, and keep the baby clean and clothed and enjoy them. If you worry what others are doing you’ll miss out on your little one growing. It is normal and I feel like I missed a lot with my first for the same reason so with my second I’m just not stressing so much.
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You worrying about being a good mom, means you are a good mother!
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It’s still possible that you are going through post partom depression
I bet you are doing a wonderful job and just going through some stuff
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Everyone feels that way but feeling that way makes you a good mother. Dont stress just love the baby and enjoy.
I’m pretty sure we’ve all felt this way in the beginning at some point. It get easier! Hang in there momma
It’s pretty normal. Feed them, cuddle them, clean them, teach them, clothe them, love the crap out of them and do your best to protect them. That’s all we can do as a mom. It is enough. You are enough. If you spend all your time worried about what other people are doing, you might miss out on what your child is doing. They’re only children for a short time. Enjoy it 
If your worring about being a good mom you are a great mom. 
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Stop comparing yourself to others. Said with all the love! This could become an endless and brutal cycle
You raise your child based on your lifestyle, and what you think is best. Barring neglect/abuse, you’re doing just fine. There will always be people who do things different than you. If you see things being done that you wouldn’t do, keep it to yourself and let people be. If you see other doing things you think work/admire, then incorporate that into your own mothering style. It isn’t a competition, and you’ll drive yourself nuts always trying to measure yourself against methods that just don’t fit into your lifestyle
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Do not compare yourself to other mothers - you are doing a great job, remember that, everyone has different styles of parenting that works for them, doesn’t mean they have a better method of raising a child
This never goes away. Your doing it right🥰
It’s not a competition mama…if baby is safe, fed, clothed and cared for you’re doing your job as a mother. We don’t all do it the same. Whatever works for the two of you is what’s best.
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Hunni welcome
To parenthood
All parents go through this
Its normal for us to think we are not good parents
Do you you feel this way about other things you do?
Honey it sounds like you have a touch of post partum depression. I have 4 kids and my 4th is only 7 months old9 and I have bad post partum depression. You should talk to your OB about how your feeling. Yes it is normal and it’s normal to ask for help. It’s ok to not be ok. I asked new mother (her baby was 2 days old) how SHE was doing. And told her it’s ok to have PPD it’s normal really to go through the fluctuations of emotions and hormones. And asking for help is ok.
You are a good mom hun. Feed your little one, love on your little one, laugh at your little on for being silly. And know your not alone in your feelings
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Their baby and your baby are not the same. You’re doing just fine with yours!
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Statistically you are dragging childhood baggage into your adult endeavors, you need to break the cycle and love your child unconditionally and while your at it love yourself that way also, unlearn the crap that was put in your head by someone when you were young
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Talk to a doctor. PPD can show up months after birth.
Just don’t try to keep up with the Jones’ or try to one up anyone because all kids have different needs and wants and all parents do things differently. Just do what you need to do to provide a loving, safe, healthy and clean environment for your children and everything else falls into place. There’s always someone who will have a little more and those that have a little less than your kids all through their lives. Material things are just that, material things. You can give them something no one else can…your unconditional love and affection. My MaMa always told us….I may not be able give you everything you want, but I will always make sure you have everything you need. That’s all that really matter isn’t it 
Is your child healthy? Is your child loved? Is your child happy? Then you’re an amazing mother. Screw everybody’s expectations and everybody else’s standards live your own life. I have never in my life try to compete with another mother I do what I do and as long as my son is happy and he is boy he loves his mama with all his little heart… That’s all I worry about. Because you will literally drive yourself crazy if you’re trying to win some kind of imaginary race honey there’s no race. All moms are just doing the best they can.
I have never tried to make myself out to be some kind of a perfect mom, and I will never force my child to fit in with any kind of a standard that anyone might hold. There is power in being an individual. Set your own plan flow through your own life experiences and let others do the same. Focus on your child and enjoy the moments make the memories don’t worry about everybody else.
Now that I’m almost 4yrs in, I’ve realized every mom feels this way. You learn to quit being so hard on yourself.
My MIL once told me, no one is harder on you than you are…and it hit home big. It’s true…mom guilt is a struggle. If you’re constantly keeping yourself in check… you’re already a damn good momma. Now believe it♥️
Being a first time Mom is all. ON THE JOB TRAINING.
First of all…are you ok and do you have a support system so you get sleep, eat take care of you. You’ll be fine Momma.
Just breathe.
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Your baby has legitimate, non-negotiable needs. As long as you meet those needs, show love, foster his development & y’all’s connection, you are the best mom he could ever have 
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Whos around you? Sometimes parents get so competitive and petty and create little games out of it. Eliminate any toxic ppl you identify.
Learn to focus on what’s important, that your baby is loved. Join a moms support group, get you and lo involved in some type of fun events and enjoy that baby
Hey mama, have you talked to a doctor/midwife about post partum depression ? Thoughts and feelings like this are quite common with it… just throwing it out there.
Also, I can only imagine how rough it is when you’re in a mentality of constant comparison. Every baby is different, therefore every style for parenting is different. I’m sure you’ve got this mama
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I felt this way with my first and I had PPD. Motherhood is an incredible and frightening journey… one that was soooooo much more enjoyable once I discussed exactly how I felt with my dr. And figured out my meds. It’s very common. Also, comparison is the thief of joy. Your sweet baby was picked just for you 
you’ve got this!!
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Can I ask how you know what other mothers do for their babies. Please don’t feel less than the amazing mother you are by what you see in fb or instagram posts or mothers talking themselves up or presenting well while you are with them. We all struggle at times as mothers There are no perfect parents just ones that show their children a perfect and pure love.
Abandon the word “should.” Is your baby more happy than not? Within the normal range for growth & milestones? That’s enough. You’re good.
Get some therapy to learn how not to care what other people are doing or thinking, or feeling, other than your immediate family. Also get checked out for post partum depression.
I thought since I took babysitting courses, babysat since I was 11, worked in the church nursery, taught Vacation Bible School, took child development courses I would be pretty OK being a mom. Instead I felt like I had NO idea what I was doing or how to deal—just like every other parent. We all stumble and fall as we bumble along, but adding too much worry doesn’t help. If you’re happy, your baby’s happy.
We all make mistakes, but get up, start anew, understand everything will be mostly fine. Enjoy life and your baby. They’re so adorable. Read some parenting books, blogs, watch videos & shows like “Supernanny” (Brit Jo Frost & the American one, with Deborah Tillman) to get tips & build your confidence.
I feel I can finally do a passable job now that I’m a grandma, but still have challenges.
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You will be fine I’m 31 have three raising two of them my son I was fifteen and was forced. To get married n be a wife with noo information! We got this I’m still not the best I should b so much farther In life!
Sending strength x and I believe the fact that u worry if your doing a good enough job, means ur a great mum.
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If your baby is happy and healthy? If the answer is yes then you are an amazing mummy! Don’t try to complete with other mummy’s every mother and every baby is unique, parenting is hard but so rewarding we all want what’s best for our baby’s and as long as you love them unconditionally your already half way there! Stay strong and keep going you got this mummy
Metaphorically write I’m a bad mother on your forehead. Then relax. People are so judgy and some seem to want to make you feel bad. Know that if your baby is fed and clean and alive you are the best Mom. I used to feel terrible that I wasn’t doing all the baby classes and things but I still ended up with an intelligent, reasonably healthy kid. Don’t spend your life worrying you’re a bad Mom. Be confident that you’re an amazing Mom…it is a bit of a fake it til you make it thing but belief in yourself is half the battle.
Mummy guilt is a real thing, the women you speak of are most likely feeling similar themselves… Just adopt things you see others do that you like, no need to feel guilty for not doing it before, we learn by seeing what works for others… Nothing wrong with that!!
you can do two things, write down your feelings every day & read them months/yrs later & you will see how well your little boy is thriving with the love you are given him, Or & seek a therapist
The fact that you worry if you’re doing enough, means you’re a good mother. Try to keep that in mind.
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Hey now, being a mom is a learning experience. We learn as we go momma. If your baby is loved, healthy, clothed, and fed, you’re doing AMAZING!!! I know it’s hard to not feel like you aren’t doing enough, I’m pretty sure all of us feel that way at some point or another. You’re doing great and try not to be so hard on yourself
Post Partum Blues Girl, Call your doctor and get some help for a few months. I am sure you are doing fine. Everyone has their own way of raising their kids and you can’t compare what another does against what you do. As long as the Baby’s needs are met you are doing a good job. But Please call your doctor and let him know how you are feeling. PPB is common.
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So…my kids are 4 and 8.
First, what things are these people doing? Do they really matter? Do they really make a difference? Remember this:
- Not everything is as perfect as some parents make you believe. Yeah. Maybe they do patacake for 20 minutes at x time everyday…and maybe their baby screams their head off through 15 of those minutes.
- Not everyone is the same. Not babies. Not parents. You pick and choose whats important to you and your family. My oldest has autism, some parents choose to work on…idk…sensory issues…me? i choose to work on fluidity. For our family, my son being able to handle routine changes is more important than addressing his sensory issues.
- We’re all just human. We all only have 24 hours in a day.
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As an adult think about what you remember and cherished the most about being a kid. Because I know for me the things I remember and cherish the most as a child were the times that one or both of my parents were there for me, had my back. Not random trips to go get ice cream or having a cooler toy than some other child. Just knowing I was taken care of and protected. If you think back as an adult it gives you prospective on what the important things are.
The fact that your even asking that leads me to believe you ARE a good mum. Bad mums don’t care enough to self reflect or internally evaluate. Be gentle on yourself this is literally your first time! You got this. Just. Breathe 
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You will be the perfect mother for your baby… the fact that you came to ask means that you want to be a good mom and that’s all it takes… If you want to be a good mom then you will be! A good mom doesn’t have to be fancy or perfect but maybe she is,maybe she’s a hot mess with spit on her shirt and her hair in the same bun for 3 days… she might get her babies pictures done regularly and post the monthly update on time everytime…or maybe she forgot and was a week late, maybe she goes on play dates every week and is trying to teach her newborn to eat solids or read…maybe she just sits and holds her baby and naps while the sink is full of dishes… There’s no real way to be the perfect parent! You’re going to do everything in your power to keep her safe and healthy and make her happy and that’s all a good parent is!
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Its mom guilt and it’ll be that way your whole life. If you werent a good mom you wouldn’t ask or care. Also everyones situation is different and you are doing the best you can.
You need to talk to your Dr.
Every mom worries but I never gave a damn what other parents did. Lol. My job is focusing on my children and what I feel is best.
Everybody is so worried about keeping up they are forgetting that time is moving and you won’t get it back. Your child needs you to care.
Let me let you in on a little secret. None of us know what we’re doing. We’re all just winging it and trying to keep them alive lol
Ppd. You should see a doctor momma. You’re having some really hard feelings on yourself there and it seems to me that those who worry about their babies like this; are usually doing an extraordinary job as it is… No adjustments needed.
Go talk to someone momma. Good luck.
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There’s no book on how to be a parent, you already doing fantastic job and wanting the best for your baby and putting your baby first that’s all you need. Everyone has different ways of being a parent, and I am sure all of us have doubts sometimes and wonder if we are good enough or doing the right thing . The baby at this age just needs your attention, love, feel safe and your presence. You got this.
I think everyone is winging it and no matter how much others look like they have it together if you asked then they probably feel the same as you.
Mother hood is one long guilt trip lol but as long as he’s happy you are bossing it xxx
It’s honestly pretty normal for every parent to feel this way at some point during parenthood.