Just have the part mama and whoever shows up are the ones who matter! Remember them for next year! But on another note you sound like your doing an awesome job of doing better for her! I had to remind myself the same thing when it happened to my son on his first
You and her together are enough. Build your village. Reach out to people in your community. Plan small meaningful gathering. Most importantly, do not parent from your hurt, you will only transfer insecurities. Make you and her enough and have a blast doing it! Never plan based on attendees. Plan to make it a party if the both of you’re the only ones at the party. I promise you it will be a refreshing change in perspective for you! This is coming from a former black sheep!
But you’re still celebrating by having cake and ice cream with her and whoever shows up (I’m assuming close family and friends). That’s more than enough. She’s 1 she won’t remember anyways
Do something special just you two. Start a tradition. We decided not to do big parties and take a trip somewhere, get a cake and go shopping .
As long as you are happy and smiling and making her happy her day will be perfect. There is honestly sooo much mom guilt as years go on. My oldest is 11 and has never had a party he doesn’t mind … or so he hasn’t expressed. I just spend more one on one time that day and all together. Being 1 she really won’t know anyways. Just get the cake. Take some pics and enjoy your baby. Try not to compare.
1 Like
They don’t remember it or even know what’s going on with their first few birthdays so there’s nothing to feel guilty over mama.
2 Likes
You’re looking at this all wrong. You’re already giving her a better life than you had by removing toxic people from her life.
Keep your party planned. You invited everyone. If they show up, great. If they don’t, they can’t say it’s because they weren’t invited. Them not coming will be THEIR choice and that will help you weed even more people out of her life and yours that show they don’t care.
I know it’s her first birthday and you want to celebrate her, but she’s honestly never going to remember. If you want to skip the party, take her out for the day to like the zoo. She will love the animals and all that will matter is that mom is there!
4 Likes
Have the party and to hell with those who don’t show up… the party isn’t for them it’s for her
3 Likes
How old is she? One? Do you think she will know the difference? Kids love sweet and ice cream! Sing that song! She would swear (if she could) that you give the best party!
2 Likes
It is her 1st birthday. Don’t worry - she probably won’t understand what is going on. We seldom celebrated our birthdays growing up (I think I may have one or two parties in my life. Wait until she is old enough take part in planning the party. My children only had 4 or 5 parties - but we celebrated as a family and made a special meal for them (their favorites). I don’t think they felt deprived.
2 Likes
She won’t remember. Just get her a small cake and sing happy birthday to her and take a couple pictures of her playing in the cake. Doesn’t matter if it’s just the two of you. Celebrate her day.
9 Likes
Forget everyone else… and save a little money all year for when her birthday comes and take her on experience trips.
They’re better than parties!
7 Likes
Have just a mommy & me kinda day. Thankfully she’s 1 and if none of your family want to celebrate her 1st, then they sure as F wouldn’t be invited to anymore.
2 Likes
She’s one, she won’t even remember it tomorrow…
3 Likes
1 year she wont know and will be happy with anything!!! You have years of mom guilt coming you’re way…regardless of the circumstances and if you are are second guessing most times its means you are doing right!!! Let the dust settle, and give yourself a break
1 Like
I thought cake, ice cream and invite a few people was a party! Why all the guilt?
2 Likes
I have a small family with no local extended relatives and grandparents who couldn’t stay long. (I had 2 brothers and one sister and no cousins were born yet). Dad wasn’t around. So, we did what we did. They had a blast. They pick up on your emotions as a signal of how they should be feeling too. So have fun, take the opportunity to spoil her and spend that fun time with her without having to “entertain” a bunch of guests and clean up and not even get to enjoy her on her day!
1 Like
I Get Paid 0ver $ 109 per hour w0rking from h0me. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 13709 a m0nth doing this and she convinced me t0 try. The possibility with this is limitless.
SEE MORE HERE… https://LifeStyles126.pages.dev
Just do a party!!! If noone shows that’s fine, she has you 
2 Likes
And when she’s older you can show her photos of her smashing a cake with balloons or something x
She’s only one do what you got to do to get things straightened out for yourself
You are making her day extra special by not allowing the bs that other people can cause. And, she’s not going to remember much of it anyway.
2 Likes
She won’t remember it and when SHE is old enough to have friends…then throw her a shindig.
1 Like
She is only one probably will not remember her first B Da y. She will have plenty more
The bigger issue is that you were willing to invite toxic people to celebrate her. Do you even need them? Children don’t remember fancy parties. They remember being loved.
I simply just don’t do parties. The first couple of birthdays without one I felt a little guilty. But my kids enjoy the experiences I give them. My daughter her and I did a mommy/daughter Mani/pedi day and went to the movies. My sons birthday is in July and we are planning a trip to the beach for a day or two. They will remember the time together over how big of a party they had and who showed up.
Presence over presents… Make memories just you and her if necessary!
3 Likes
She’s 1. She won’t remember. And, small parties/cookouts are the most fun!! That’s what we did with our boys. And they’re now doing the same with their kids. Noooooooo need for large events/stress/drama!!
5 Likes
We are firm believers in there doesn’t need to be a big party every year. Neither of my daughters had a big first birthday. The first one we had a couple friends over and a little cake. The second we just did her birthday dinner. I was a chef before a SAHD and I did tasting dinners for both my daughters on their first birthday. Just do the best you can and try to ignore your brain nagging at you that it’s not enough. Just spend time with her.
1 Like
She won’t remember it. She’s turning 1.
1 Like
The parties that kids enjoy are the ones they can invite their friends too or get invited to their parties… Right now I wouldn’t give it much thought. One friend of mine and her 3 kids showed up to my daughter’s 1st birthday and we still enjoyed ourselves at the park. If you ask her today who they are, she couldn’t tell you. Happy birthday to your little one. 
she is only going to be 1 yrs old. Have a cute little small party, because trust me, she won’t remember how many people are there or not. And when she is older, have parties for her & her friends, because that is what it really is all about
3 Likes
Have a few friends and have a cake smash.
1 Like
Just do the party !Celebrate her the party is for her not family and friends.
Don’t worry mama. She’ll get older and make friends that she will actually want around her . Give it time and you too will find a whole new family that will love both of you dearly.
3 Likes
Don’t worry about the first birthday they will never remember it the only thing they will ever see if that are pictures, this party is more of a celebration for adults so since you are the adult and you called off the party enjoy spending time with your child and anybody who shows up or cares to even recognize the birth of your child welcome them and be grateful ,parties of the nature you are talking about are more meant for them when they are a little older and can appreciate what is going on around them so de-stress start breathing and relax everything’s going to be okay
2 Likes
She won’t remember this one. No worries
2 Likes
Don’t beat yourself up over this. It’s her first birthday. You have a life time to have parties for her. She is your most important person in this world. Do what you have to do to make a good life for you and her. Remember you can choose your family members even if they’re no by blood. Sometimes the family you choose is by far more loving, caring and supportive than the blood ones. Take a deep breath have cake and ice cream with her. Take pictures to record the first birthday. you’ll have year to plan for the next one. People come and go in our lives whether we like it or not. Everyone is out for themselves. Those who want to be in her life will make time to be tgerefor her and you.
These are lessons I learned from raising two kid on my own. There were no grandparents, aunts or other family around. Mine turned out just fine. I believe in you to handle this situation. Hold your head up high and go for it.
2 Likes
It’s okay mama. Have a mum and daughter party. Set up a wee photo spot in your house and do a cake smash. Take her to the park. Read to her. Give her the best day ever. She doesn’t need other people, as long as she has her mama, that’s all that matters to her 
3 Likes
She’s only one she isn’t going to remember her birthday party’s until about 5. I was like you never had my birthday celebrated except when I turned 12 to cover for something that happened I’ve gone no contact too. You’re a good mom and you’re breaking the abuse. At least you’re having a cake let her have fun with it and take pictures of it for her for later.
2 Likes
She is one she won’t remember try again next year
You make her feel special. That’s all you can do. The extra ppl not there don’t need to be there if they won’t put in the effort. I’ve learned from my own experience
Post on FB that you’re throwing your 1 year old a party and anyone with 1,2 or three year olds is invited. I’m sure people will show up. Just don’t let anyone in your house. Make the party in the back yard or something.
Do what makes you both happy its her birthday enjoy forget about people they come an go you daughter is the most important HAPPY BIRTHDAY
At this age your child won’t know it’s her birthday
She will only be interested in
Ice cream and wrapping paper/packaging
Given how things were for you growing up
I’m wondering if a birthday party is
More for you rather then your child
4 Likes
Actually you’re doing her a favor. All the attention will be on her and not drama. You’re there for her nothing else matters
I can’t imagine the cake and ice cream will only be enjoyed by you and your daughter. Make the most with who does show. Capture lots of pics of her eating cake, opening gifts, etc.
A few things to keep in mind. Your daughter is a year old, she won’t know her party was cancelled. Be careful to not project your guilt and disappointment on her, ever!
She will grow to have her own thoughts, perceptions, and feelings. What may be disappointing to you may not become disappointing to her. Her love language may become entirely different. My 3 boys are all very unique and express different needs. What YOU fear, you create. Therefore, dump mom guilt and shame. Those emotions rarely ever serve a productive purpose.
That being said… those negative emotions can be toxic to healthy parenting. Occasionally parents don’t set boundaries and structure because they’re over compensating for feeling guilty. Don’t ever let her run the show. You are mom and mom is in charge. Obviously I’m not referring to raising a one year old, I’m referring to her lifetime.
Give yourself a break for doing the best you can do! You haven’t bailed. Be steady, stable, and responsible- you’ll do great!
First and foremost, your daughter won’t remember her first party. Pictures of her enjoying her cake covered in ice cream is what she’ll see. Her mum letting her celebrate and make a mess is what she’ll see. It won’t matter if it’s a few friends and family or just the two of you it’s you that makes the day special
2 Likes
A one-year-old won’t know. You’re probably ok with next year too. Cake and ice cream and a trip to the park will do well.
1 Like
Something small is perfectly fine, she won’t remember this birthday. Do take lots of pics with who ever shows so she does have memories to look back on. She’ll be fine, mom guilt not needed.
Dont feel guilty. When is my daughther’s birthday, I took her ti
O a trip or I take her some place fun!!..
You don’t need to trow a big party to show her how much you love her… make her day special by doing the things you know SHE likes.
Celebrate her… and celebrate YOU!!!
1 Like
This is just her first birthday. She’ll have so many more that she can invite friends to, and you can be rest assured she’ll have a great time at those and remember then much better than she ever could this one. Have a small special celebration just for her with cake and ice cream and balloons and she’ll have a great time, I promise!
1 Like
None of this sounds like anything you have to feel guilty about. The others made choices to not be there for your kiddo. They are the ones missing out. Celebrate with who comes and find friends that love you and make your family. She will know who loves her and she will be happy with cake and the boxes rather than gifts or toys lol considering just a yr ago many many kiddos didn’t get parties, and survived, and have flourished in spite of that, one bday not with a big party will not damage your kiddo forever. Years later she will have pics of those who attend and love her. You are the most important person to your lil one right now and your relationship will always be most special when she gets bigger she will want friends there and not care if adults are around. Cherish the time to keep it more simple.
She litterally won’t even remember. I wouldn’t worry to much…
1 Like
She wouldn’t remember a party this young. Take lots of pictures to show you did celebrate her! Save the mom guilt for when they are older and can bring the stuff up in therapy lol. (Kidding… Kinda lol)
I wouldn’t Worry she is One she Ain’t gonna Remember her First birthday Or her 2nd. I would Wait till she can remember to have a party Personally
Honestly it’s her first birthday. Get her that cake. Take lots of pictures. That’s what she will cherish. The time with her mama and the time with who actually cares. Don’t worry about everyone else. They’re missing out.
3 Likes
She is a year old. Do not let guilt get in the way of your celebration of her first year of life. She is not going to remember the event except through photos. Take some of her with her party dress, with her cake, hat, balloons, etc. enjoy your time together.
Your family and friends are toxic. Unless they aren’t coming to a party due to Covid, shame on them. Stop interacting with them. You may decide to see them separately but only if it is convenient for you. You and your child need to join a playgroup and see if your child can begin to make friends, with you making friends with the parents. Work on getting a new set of friends.
2 Likes
If you can afford take her on a daycation. We used to take ours on a day trip, zoos, aquariums that we havent been too. A water park.
Your sweet girl is only going to feel loved she is at how you do things for her. Get dressed up, go have a “tea party” even if it’s at MacDonalds. Let her play on their playground and the two of you eat French fries and drink milkshakes. Go home, read a couple of books to her, let her get her nap in, then have supper with fancy decorated cup cakes and ice cream. It will be low cost to you and you’ll have plenty of fun by yourselves. Forget your mom and anyone else who puts you down.
1 Like
Your sweet girl is only going to feel loved she is at how you do things for her. Get dressed up, go have a “tea party” even if it’s at MacDonalds. Let her play on their playground and the two of you eat French fries and drink milkshakes. Go home, read a couple of books to her, let her get her nap in, then have supper with fancy decorated cup cakes and ice cream. It will be low cost to you and you’ll have plenty of fun by yourselves. Forget your mom and anyone else who puts you down.
Been through it …your child wouldn’t care less trust me they are too focused on the frosting 
If you had a huge party she would not remember it. Don’t feel guilty. When she gets older and has friends then have a big party that she will remember.
She’s not going to remember lmfao
You sound like you may have depression or postpartum tho
Go thru with your plan for babies sake
You should not feel Guilty. This on them not you. Do your thing and make sure to take lots of photos, Or video’s. with lots of love. show it to any one that comes. If no one comes it again their lost not yours. I would make or buy a cup cake, and one cake. You need to worry about her,
1 Like
There’s tons a ways to make a memorable birthday without feeling guilty. Put on some boots and splash in water, make a mud pie and stick a candle in it, eat ice cream and let it drip on you, these will be things she’ll remember
1 Like
As long as you’re there as her mama for her birthday that’s all that matters, she doesn’t know the meaning of a party yet, she’s too young. Our daughter just turned 3, and she appreciate the gifts more lol we just got her a cake.
Dollar store get a couple balloons find princess toppers or toys to decorate her cake take her to the park take some pics
One year olds won’t remember. They are excited to get cake. So make memories for you. Enjoy her time. Enjoy being with her.
She will not remember her first birthday. Do not feel guilty.
A first birthday party is for you not for her
Just know that you are more hurt about it than her, and she will still know love without a party. But I get it… my sons 3rd bday I had so many people tell me they were coming. Then the day of the party people canceled. My fam showed up but he kept waiting for his “friends” to show up. Some bigger kids came and gave him attention and he was just fine. Even though HIS friends couldn’t make it.
#1 she will not remember this at all as she grows up. #2 large birthday parties for infants and children are highly overrated and are not even gocd for the child. They will get overstimualte, off schedule and end up overtired and cranky. A little party with you and a few real friends and family members is the best thing you can do for your child. #3 Stop the mom guilt. There is 100% no reason for it!
Cake and the ice cream and memories. Don’t need to over do. She will only remember through you. Paint the picture bright
1 Like
She will not remember what you bought her, who was at her party, half as much as what you do with her when she gets older & talks about her youth. You are what matters to her!!!
I celebrated my kids birthday with a dinner for them with a small cake