I am looking for advice. Please no negative comments.My son is 10 yrs old. He has ADHD, OCD, and has anxiety with any big change really. He’s going into 5th grade also ‘middle school’ which is a new school. He’s a super bright child with a genius IQ. Usually advanced in classes. He has a terrible chewing habit. He will chew up brand new shirts around the collars… wash rags… his blankets. Its okay that he needs too. Its from the anxiety that goes along with his 3 diagnosis. I want to prepare him for middle school and be supportive and maybe learn some new tips or tricks for him proceeding into this school year. He needs chew necklaces for school… I’m afraid he’ll get made fun of. He already gets picked on for his height. He’s a short Lil guy bless him. What are some cool ‘middle school’ things I can send with him for school…age appropriate fidgets, chewy things (he’s has so many pop#it’s) .He’s on a pretty tight schedule because it helps him feel safe with less anxiety. Hes a VERY picky eater also. Trying to keep him off meds as we’ve tried different meds over the last few years and I was uncomfortable with how they made him act like a zombie. That broke my heart. How can I help better prepare and support my son when starting? Should I just send him with chew necklaces? Any other therapeutic things I can buy that he may like to help him? Any advice? He has some anger problems when frustrated.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I support my son through middle school? - Mamas Uncut
My daughter is going on her second year of middle school. She’s ADHD combined type, ODD and has anxiety. She wore her chewlry necklace for a couple days and that was it. Kids are cruel. My town is 5th-8th is middle school. Yes they do see each other and not always separated. The older kids are fun of her. It was crushing. Build a great relationship with the councilor he will be assigned to that way they can really help guide him through the day with his anxiety. We took my daughter off the stimulants for a year before starting again. She tried and failed so many. Luckily now we have the perfect combo for her. She has so much more confidence going into this year than last. It literally took a WHOLE TEAM but we did it. Just be patient with him. Look out for signs he’s not telling you if he’s getting bullied.
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Could you do those candy necklaces or bracelets
Can you still buy fidget spinners? Those are quiet. Let the teacher know that he needs those to keep his hands busy. I would pack his lunch and send stuff you know he’ll eat. See to it you send a doctor’s note that allows him to have your special diet. That way the school may not take his lunch away from him. As for chew necklaces… I’ve never seen one, but they sound like a good idea. Maybe send a dry washcloth for him to chew when needed. I would see to it that all of his teachers are aware of his medical history, the principal, and the kitchen staff. Make sure they know to brief any substitute teachers so they don’t accidentally set him off unnecessarily. That’s about the best you can do. Just keep in contact with the school and let them know if there are any changes or updates on his care.
Are you sure he doesn’t have ASD or SPD? I have to chew as I get pain in my jaw otherwise. Some schools have rules about what fidgets you can have so check with them. Try to get chew items that fit on the ends of pencils or pens rather than a necklace. Also think about items that can be worn around the wrist which might have fiddle and chew parts.
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Junior high is the worst!! Good luck to your son
Look into cbd gummies and start having him soak in epsom salt baths at night before bed. Both will help relax and calm him in natural ways. Does he have an IEP or 504 that you could get him some extra help?
Get the kid some gum
Tour the school and meet with as many people as you can before the school year starts so he can be more comfortable with the school layout, where he will be going and who his teachers will be. Ask if there’s some kind of big buddy system where they can assign a helpful student to be like a big brother or sister to him, or talk to people he knows from other places/activities who will be at the same school to keep an eye out for him.
Is it worth giving a talk about his being differently abled with his classmates? Some of the teasing comes from ignorance. Or would it just embarrass him no end?
Remind him that middle school is awkward for EVERYONE, even the kids who seem to have everything going for them. Few people would wish to relive those days.
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I would do a hemp bracelet or necklace. They’re really durable and taste good.
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How about a spinner ring, a fidget board. ASL alphabet with his fingers… try to distract
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5th grade is middle school where you are? Wow I have only heard of some places keeping 6th grade in elementary. I would definitely make sure the school and all his teachers know. Talk to his Dr about maybe some recommendations.
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First thing I would ask is does he have an IEP? This can give him access to a sensory diet provided by school. A plan would be put in place and we would have a world of tools at his disposal. They can give him access to a variety of materials to see what works best for him and what he is comfortable with. For the short term, try gum. It helps with the oral fixation- same with lollipops and mints! Also, in terms of his anxiety, is there a way you can schedule a meet and greet with the teacher and the school ahead of time? 1:1 ? They can also provide a schedule for him so he knows what to expect!
Some of it you are going to have to get with the school on and see what they allow as far as sensory things and fidgets and chewing things. Some schools don’t allow certain pieces to be used. Has your child ever been screened for ASD or SPD because a lot of what you described are VERY similar characteristics to my child who is ASD, SPD, and ADHD.
The chew necklaces will more than likely get him made fun of, unfortunately. I hate to sound like a wet blanket, but that’s the reality of it. Is he in any type of therapies that may help him? It may, honestly, be time for a low does of medication for him. If it helps your child then that’s what you do. I can appreciate you not liking how it made him zombie like, but that was a HUGE window into my son’s ASD diagnosis as his ADHD completely hid the autism until he was put on medication for the adhd. You may be dealing with a diagnosis that you don’t even realize you’re fighting. You can always change and tweak medicines to what your child needs. I’ve been through so many med changes in the last six years it’s insane sometimes but their needs change as they grow and their hormones change and it needs to be tweaked or changed completely. They all effect people differently. What my son takes for his ADHD I can’t take because it feels like my heart is going to explode out of my chest (yes we are both adhd) so I have to have a non-stimulant medication. It’s a whole lot of trial and error. Keep your head up!
You will need to talk to his school and get him on a 504 plan. His ADHD and OCD are documented by his doctor. You’ll need to get his doctor ro complete some paperwork. Work with the school staff to draw up an education plan to allow for his accommodations. By 5th grade a chew necklace is going to bring teasing. That’s just a fact. Kids can be cruel. Good luck.
You need to speak with his school and get him on an IEP plan asap. It’s going to help him out tremendously. Please don’t fight the school on it. Listen to them on their suggestions as they’re just trying to help him.
Perhaps it’s more about educating others. Seek advice from his teacher about ways to educate his peers on what some of these diagnosis mean and maybe even talk about some cool celebrities that have OCD, or ASD or other super powers. Obviously with your sons consent. He will not be the only person his peers meet along the way and early education on the subjects can help with compassion and understanding.
Try to meet with his teachers/ staff at his new school. They may help. See if you can take him in early ( before school opens) so he can get acquainted. You do whatever it takes !!! Hopefully, everything will be OK
I would try homeschool. Kids are so cruel and I think the environment would just keep him frustrated
For chewing they have Lego necklace ( it soft ) it help so kids don’t make fun of his clothes being chew up
My sister has autism and had chew necklaces they have a tone of different styles these days my oldest 2.5 has one that’s beads are different sizes that my sister got him he loves it. Also remind him everyone has their thing his is chewing penny’s might be bitting her nails bobs might be picking his nose.
I’d find out who his teacher(s) are going to be and ask for a meeting with them and the principal. Explain the situation and ask for suggestions from the professionals. Also ask for a child advocate be there as well. Work as a team and you may be pleasantly surprised.
If he doesn’t have one already, get him an IEP. They’ll help be his voice in the school, and can help set him up for success in his classes. Also, yes to the chew necklaces. My 12 year old (going into 6th grade) takes a fidget toy of some sort every school day, and his teachers last year would let him stand at his desk rather than sit if he needed movement. Maybe get with the teachers (his homeroom at least)and see what kind of support they can offer as well.
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Its a shame that kids are still being taught that it’s okay to bully other children instead of being aware that it’s okay to be different and need different calming techniques. My frustrated opinion aside, check out amazon; they have chew necklaces for boys/adults that look like shark teeth, pendants, all different assortments that don’t really come off as a chewable necklaces but will be comforting for him. They have keychain figits that you can hook to his pants or backpack so it’s always on him, that will be a comfort for him. Walk him through the new school from his classes to one another in order so that he knows where he goes, that might help alievate some of the anxiety. They also make figit pencil toppers and chewables that you might want to look into as well. Good luck mama! we’ll be rooting for your little man.
An IEP for smaller classes or a support person. 504 I’d an adaption not placement
Go to the schools and speak to the counselors, other support staff, psychologist and principal. Show up with all docu mented paperwork
Get an okay for him to chew gum but be respectful
He will adjust. It’s a big step for mom. Do several walk through a of the building. Introduce him to adults that can be supportative
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