I’ve been dating someone for two years, and he’s asked me recently to move in together. I’m 37 years old & divorced with a nine-year-old child, and he is 42 years old, never married & he has a 7-year-old and 12-year old that he doesn’t live with. This is the best relationship that either of us has ever had, and we are very happy being with each other. I’m hesitant to move forward with living together because I want to have a baby in the next few years before I get too old, but it’s not something I’ve ever mentioned to him because I didn’t feel like our relationship had gotten to that point yet, but he has mentioned a few times here and there that he doesn’t think he wants any more kids. My question is, should I just go ahead and tell him about me wanting to have another baby so he can maybe just make the decision to break things off with me now instead of moving in together and finding out a few years down the road… I’m confused as to how I should even bring it up and when the right timing would be… I obviously want to do it face to face, but I don’t know how to even begin to talk about it without just blurting it out… should I tell him now that I have something I need to talk to him about when I see him next to give him a warning at least?
Just bring it up and say what you have to say
Drop hints to him. Like going to the store, going in the baby section, grabbing baby clothes, showing him and saying how cute the little newborn clothes are also anytime you see a baby you can say something about him/her. Do it alot until you feel comfortable with telling him. I wouldn’t come right out and say it though, as it might push him away and scare him off.
Definitely needs to be a conversation before moving in together.
Maybe just plan a night for just the 2 of you, and discuss your feelings about wanting another child.
If you feel like this is something you 100% want, and will possibly end up resenting him for ( if you choose to stay, and he is done having kids), then it is time to move on and call it quits.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I talk to my boyfriend about wanting another baby?
Yes, you need to discuss this with him. This should have been addressed before now if you knew he didn’t think he wanted any more. You both need to come to an agreement on this or move on, because you could just be wasting time. He has made his feelings known, and he deserves the same from you.
Wait till you’re in walmart or target and pass the baby clothes and casually ask him if he ever thinks about having another baby. I would ask before moving in if it’s a deal breaker for you.
Tell him before we move in together let’s have a serious talk about marriage having children and what each of your goals and wants are. It would be foolish to waste each other’s time if you do not want the same
I wouldn’t do it like that he would stress it’s something bad … I would just straight out ask him over the phone text it don’t matter just say before I move in I really just want to make sure we want the same things and say you want another baby and how does he feel at least with text he can think about it I guess and respond accordingly?
“He doesn’t think he wants more kids”… I think he would warm to the idea if use get along living with each other.
I would definitely clarify his feelings on having another baby before you move in together
You absolutely need to discuss it with him before you move in!
You’re in the best relationship you’ve ever had, you should be able to communicate with him. Just tell him that you want to have another child one day, and ask if that’s something he sees happening for himself.
Yes you need to talk to him about this. He might or might not change his mind. And if he still doesn’t want anymore, you will have to decide if your relationship is good just the way it is or will you gate him later on because you wanted another baby & he didn’t. Again if you do & he doesn’t, it not fair to either one of you to continue on in this relationship
No warning, just bring it out next time you’re together, do it face to face…see the reaction !
You dont need to tip toe around the subject, we’re biologically driven animals, your desire for a child is no different than his biological imperative to have some form of sex, you cant tell the lion it has to stop killing the zebra
Definitely discuss it beforehand, but also be aware that feelings and situations about subjects like this can change.
Just tell him. Don’t tell him you have something to talk about. Wait until next time you guys are together and casually bring it up. Have to rip the bandaid at some point. No sense in moving in together if you guys aren’t on the same page.
Next time yall are hanging out show him a picture of a cute baby then just be like have you ever thought about wanting another one and go from there.
If you cant even speak to him about having another baby, should you be having one with him?
I think u should wait the anxiety of moving it together is enough to deal with
If you are considering living together your relationship is serious enough to talk about the future. Definitely bring it up to him. Tell him that you want to talk about some serious things about your relationship. But you may be the one to have to break things off. If you are set on having another child and he isn’t you may have to say well then I have to move on.
It’s now or never momma.
Bring it up to him but if he doesn’t want another one then don’t force it on him. Also, think about if you’re willing to throw away the best relationship you’ve ever had over that. Once you do that there’s no going back if the next thing or guy don’t work out so think hard.
When my fiance and I first started dating, we discussed straight out what each of us wanted or did not want in our future… what was deal breakers and what was negotiable. That way…we could decide right away of we wanted to move forward with a relationship or stay friends. We didn’t want to waste eachothers time.
Honesty is the best policy. You have to let him know about things before hand so you will be on the same page in the relationship. I hope everything works put for the best good luck best wishes
I’m so confused. Your going to move your children in with this man but you don’t think your at a point in the relationship you can have this conversation? WTAF
Be honest. Put it all out there like you just did. He will either break it off, take some time to think about it or jump right on board. It’s a lot easier to discuss it now.
Always talk about this before you go that far. Those are big decisions and you need to be on the same page.
Definitely sit down and have a talk. Figure out if no more kids is a deal breaker for you. It’s smart of you to go over this before committing and changing up your child’s life so much.
Just be honest and talk to him. He might feel differently now. If he doesn’t, then you have some decisions to make about your future. I hope the best outcome for you, whatever that may be.
I think you need to discuss this conversation with a healthcare provider. At age 34 women are high risk when pregnant. Lots of different things can happen. You are talking about years from now? Also maybe he doesn’t want to start his life all over. I am 29 will be 30 this year and my mom is 46. She has a 14, 12, and 10 year old at home. It is not easy to just start over when your children are grown. I think you should consider the reality here. Also stop pushing it off and discuss it with him.
From my personal experience, pregnancies at 37 and 40 were rough. Now being 55 and going through menopause with a 15 and 17 year old is brutal.
Tell him now.
Yes!!! Tell him you love him and want to move forward, but you have things you still want in life and he may too, and you think you both should discuss them before moving foreword to assure you both by them dang it are willing to accept the others wants:pray:
I would talk about it before moving forward
My man told me he didnt want no more kids when I met him and I told him well I want kids and want to be married some day so maybe we aren’t good for each other… 18 yrs later we now have three kids , not married yet because of a stroke I had but it is coming , be honest it works good luck
No just don’t force a baby on him if he doe’s’nt want more kid’s don’t just want to break up cuz he not ready for more kid’s just be happy the way you both are now,enjoy life beside’s if ur ready for an other baby but he’s not ur relationship migth change because he didn’t want more kid’s his not even involved with the kid’s his got now, do seriously think he will be involved now if you have one, you I’ll be the one doing everything all on ur own, are you willing to go through raising a baby with out any help from the father, being involved in the baby life just stay with the one’s you have,be happy you"ll be ok the way you are now with2 kid’s
I would talk to him about that he might just be saying that to see where you stand
I think it’s smart to sit and talk about it to him.
Your 37 and you don’t know if you want to be honest with your boyfriend of 2 years?
Mention it to him before moving in together, then you know not to waste your time if it’s not something he wants.
Be open and honest. Don’t be defensive when you open the conversation. Just be calm and open to his views but if it’s something you really want just let him know how serious you are about it
Lady, the man already said he doesn’t want any more children. If you try to force a baby on him he just might leave you. You aren’t trying to see the bigger picture. He’s looking forward to an easier life WITHOUT three o’clock feedings and spending a fortune on diapers and day care. Think about it.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I talk to my boyfriend about wanting another baby?
Tell him, he either is OK with it or he isn’t. if you want a baby and he doesn’t… deal breakers. Sad but true
I feel like that’s something you need to talk as a couple about right away once things start moving to commitment level and moving in together. Because later one with you wanting more kids and him NOT so much you could end up resenting him.
May be a deal breaker.
What is there to be confused about? Just have a conversation about it since, quite honestly, that should have already happened a long time ago. Wanting more children or not is a very big thing and is something you probably should have already discussed within the last 2 years.
You should definitely mention it before u move in together.
Talk before moving in and commiting to the next step.
To me 37 is too old. But if you don’t value him because he doesn’t want another child doesn’t seem right either. You sound like you’d have a 1400 with anyone just to have it?!
If you are wanting another child, I would definitely talk to him before you decide to live together.
You should straight up tell him theres no beating around the bush with this and if he doesnt want more kids and you know it then dont even try to beat around the bush
Definitely tell him. You say he brought up not wanting kids so it’s been brought up before. I’d just say you want to talk about where the relationship is headed. It’s scary cuz you could have different ideas of what you want. You know this could be a deal breaker. You have to decide which is more important to you and same for him.
There are many topics to discuss before moving in together…more children and finances, for example.
Accidents happen. No conversation required.
I would talk to him about it before moving in together because if things aren’t going to work because of the kid aspect, you’re not out of a place or vice versa. I’m pretty blunt so idk how to start the conversation except to just coke out and say it.
Definitely a conversation u need 2 have before anything serious happens. If u want different things from the start and can’t find some common ground on that subject there won’t be a relationship worth having. Like most conversations just flat out ask how he feels about another baby. Tell him how u feel and If it’s something ur really serious about and he doesn’t want the same then it’s best 2 go separate ways. U sound like u really want it and if he doesn’t u can’t force him and there is no real serious commitment or time wasted at this point.
I agree with the two people above. DEFINITELY CLEAR THIS UP BEFORE YOU MARRY HIM. If you have a baby and he doesn’t want it, the child will get the brunt of it, possibly abuse or divorce you----then no dad. think about it. very serious decision!
Absolutely talk to him about what you want before things move to far. It’s very important to talk to the person you are in a romantic relationship with about money, jobs, wanting more kids or not wanting more kids, what state you want to live in, what part of town you prefer, etc, etc. These are all things that should be discussed before things become too serious that way each person knows what the other wants or doesn’t want and both can either be on the same page, make compromises or move on.
I cant believe it hasn’t been a conversation in 2 yrs, u need to talk to him
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I talk to my boyfriend about wanting another baby?
Don’t make it his fault if he tells you he doesn’t want anymore children. It’s unfair of you to say, “should I just tell him so he can break it off now…” If you want children, that’s great! Then tell him before making the next big step with him that you want that and if he doesn’t, YOU make the decision to break things off due to different goals. Not bc it’s on him.
Talk to him about it. If the relationship is good, like you say. Just be prepared for either answer. He’s got two kids, and you have yours. That makes him responsible for another baby.
Tell him. You don’t want to regret waiting too long and then not being able to have one. I told my boyfriend the first weekend after talking for a week cuz he was recently divorced and I new I wanted to be married and have more kids. I have a son already.
Yea tell him before u move in because u dont wanna move in than talk about it and break up and have no where to go
Honesty is the best policy especially when it is this important.
Next time you see him just say, I have been thinking about moving in together like you mentioned, and I do have one concern I wanted to bring up to you before we take that step, and then dive right in. From there the ball is in his court. Biggest mistake you can make is not bringing it up if it’s something you won’t compromise on because then it puts you and him in a bad spot.
The next time you all are talking about moving in just tell him why you are hesitant, it’s because you want another child and your not sure of his feelings. And you might add how you feel about him and would love to mother his child
In 2 years you haven’t told him you want another child one day? I think that should’ve been discussed a long time ago.
Absolutely talk to him now. Make your case for why you want that. Have a nice discussion.
You need to be telling this to him, not us. Children are huge commitments. He already had 2 and you have 1. He may be too old to want more kids.
Tell him just what you told us
Talk to him as soon as possible, instead of wondering if and maybe or maybe not. Better to find out now rather than years down the road
I would tell him how you feel about wanting another baby and go from there
I mentioned that to my husband on our first talks when we were first dating … he didn’t want more kids but we had one more because he said it would definitely be worth having one more with me good luck momma !! Do it sooner than later !!
Here: “Hey babe, I don’t want another kid.”
The first thing you need to talk to him about is getting married!
Just tell him there’s something very important you need to talk to him about. If he loves you, he will hear you out and search for a resolution. Moving in together is a huge step in the relationship, so it is critical to be on the same page about the future. There’s no right way to mention it, but what’s important is that you do, and probably before moving in and taking that next step.
If he said he don’t want any more kids what makes you think he will change his mind?
Accidents happen. No need to convince him, if it happens on its own, then it happens. I wouldn’t go talking about it. I’d just cease birth control.
You should sit him down and tell him you want another child, but given his comments about the matter you aren’t sure y’all are on the same page when it comes to expanding your families.
Honestly, if a man tells you he doesn’t want more children, personally I take him for his word. He won’t change his mind.
If you want to have a baby you need to talk to him now because you are always at an age that doctors would consider you high risk and this is if you are in perfect health to begin with. Plus consider how old you will be when the child is in high school
If that is what YOU want and are hoping for that outcome, why would you even consider moving in with someone who said he doesn’t want more kids. Why is this even a debate? Say what you mean and mean what you say. Tell him that is your goal so he can either stay w you or go. Tell him so you can decide if your dream of becoming a middle aged parent needs another man to fulfill.
The best relationship you have ever had. I want you to think about this. You lose that because he wont have another kid do you think you could find a man as right for you who also wants kids and by the time you found and were with this person long enough to have a baby… how many years passed .
The best relationship you’ve had …in 37 years of life. …that is ready to move to the next step with you grow w u… and you may lose everything wanting what’s not meant to be. I’d consider all the outcomes and what ur willing to risk. and if it’s worth it I say full support and best wishes…this is not in hate or judgment just trying to help
Yep , you have to communicate the things you want
I would consult a doctor first. Both people being over the age of 35 many risks become a factor in pregnancy. I mean I know people over 35 that have had totally normal pregnancies and then known people to almost lose their lives or their babies. Best of luck.
Have an open conversation, don’t end the relationship if you both are very happy together … love that u found someone to bring u happiness and u to him… it’s very difficult to find someone to be truly happy with… you will know what to do whichever way the conversation goes… best of luck,
If you feel its the best relationship u ever had why dont you feel the confidence of just talk to him
I would tell him before you move in together that is the right thing to do for both of you not just him but you too but good luck with what ever happened
Y’all are too old to be having a newborn. He’s already 42 and you’re 37. Enjoy the kids y’all have now and look to having a childless future. He said he doesn’t want anymore respect it.
I’m gonna be the odd opinion here. Talk to him about it and see what he says. If he truly doesn’t want anymore then really think about your decision of wanting another. Does it mean so much to you that your willing to give up what you say is a great relationship and a good man? Im not saying give up your dreams but good guys don’t come along that often anymore either.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I talk to my boyfriend about wanting another baby?
Sounds like you’re scared to Ask so he’s Not the One.
Its something that sounds very important to you so deserves a decent convo. Just blurt it out and see how it goes. Sometimes people don’t even know what they want aye.
Babies are awesome haha all the best
Just ask how he feels about having more children no point in continuing a relationship if you both have different views
Get married first…
You need to break it off so you have time to find a guy that wants a child
Doesn’t sound like your ready to move in together; if you have to ask strangers how to talk to him.
Tell him that you think you might be and see how he reacts
Do not do the whole “We need to talk” thing. That builds anxiety and serves no purpose. Set aside time to be together where it is just the two of you and tell him that you want another child. And that you understand if he does not. But that if he does not then you need to move on because it is time for you to start building your future. Don’t beg each other to change your mind or have a bunch of dramatics. This is adult stuff. It is okay for people to separate because of different life goals. That is what healthy people do.
Looks like communication in your relationship is not goid enough, 2 years of dating and you never talked about things important to you. Just ask him how he feels about it simple as that