I am white with an almost exclusively white family and a white/Hispanic friend circle. I have a 1.5 year old and a 3.5 year old. My 3.5 year old came to me a few months ago and asked me, “Mama, what color am I.” I was shocked and tried to change the subject, my friend asked him to repeat himself, and I stopped them, saying that I didn’t want him to think about himself or others as a specific color. Given what is currently happening, I feel like I may not have responded correctly. How do I have a discussion about race that a three-year-old would understand, and also have it be constructive and not plant ideas of inequality? I, as an adult, can understand the premise around the Black Lives Matter Movement, and I can clearly see the inequality, but how can I relay to someone so young? I would like people of color or mixed families’ responses. What can I do to make a positive impact on my kid’s perception, and help your voices be heard?
Just lead by example.
Be honest, also tell them that we all need to be nice to everyone
Be honest, lead by example and check out the sesame street episode where they talk about it.
Just tell him that even tho people have different skin colors we are all human with the same color blood.
You can raise your child to not fear mine is #1 also to not stereotype people my daughter is biracial people judge her automatically based on her skin tone. My daughter was accused at 12 years old of trying to steal at Sephora 
she had a $200 gift card VISA in her purse and my child doesn’t steal. The cops were even called and when they played the tapes back all they saw was the store clerk following her and her friend around the store. These things happen EVERYDAY disproportionately to people of color and sometimes they end up like what happened to George Floyd. This is why people are so upset and done with it. They don’t expect us to understand 
we couldn’t even if we tried but they DO expect us to at least TRY and to not defend actions we know are WRONG.
He is a specific color, we all are. It’s important to help him understand that we are all different, and yet we are all human. Our differences are a part of what makes us who we are, and its important that we as parents of the next generation help them to understand that different doesn’t mean bad. Just as there are different cultures, different races, different nationalities. Different parts make up one whole, which is the human race. We should be proud of our differences, and at the same time be accepting and respectful towards everyone.
Acknowledge differences. Respect them.
“There is only one race and thats the HUMAN race”
Thats what you should tell yourself then you’ll know to answer the question.
I tell my kids we are God’s masterpiece so he used lots of different, beautiful colors.
My daughter started askin questions last year would have been 3 or so i just told her everybody has different skin and different kinds of familys. Eg what sparked her intrest was 2 sisters one white one black that we met in the park the mom was white it confused her a bit but i explaind the truth never got asked again
The answer is The color God Made and you are perfect.
Tell him that his white tell him that he ll see all different colours of people tell him everyone is unique most of all tell him it doesn’t really matter what colour skin you have has that’s not what makes you beautiful and kind etc etc
Simple terms, when they are old enough and ask. For your older child, I used eggs, chocolate. Different on the outside, same on the inside. Also, its good to have diversity; wouldn’t it horrible to eat the SAME cookie everyday forever?!?! See the differences in people (and cookies) and see what they can learn from the differences and enjoy what each race /religion/cookie have to offer.
Lastly, read, read read them stories about diversity. Google it. Tons of good kids books out there. Good luck mama!
Ask him what color he wants to be and why. You may be overthinking his understanding.
Teach children to see the human, not the skin color.
You can explain it from a heritage standpoint. Your child is white and there is nothing wrong with that. Find some information on your genealogy and teach him about it. Every other race is very proud of where they come from as he should be. At the same time teach equality. No one is better than another. Don’t make him feel guilty for who he is but let him grow up with an open heart.
With my 3yr old, rather than ignoring color, we celebrate it. Nobody’s helped by pretending there’s no difference. There is. We simply acknowledge that people look different and that’s ok. Our differences are what make us beautiful. I’ve also ensured that she’s around kids her age that are of different races.
TV shows with a diverse cast can also be helpful. My 3yr old loves Vampirina - lots of opportunity to subtly discuss and celebrate diversity among both the humans and ‘monsters’ 
We’re all like color crayons, different colors but all do the same thing with the same purpose.
They are way to young to understand what is going on in the world. And most importantly too young to even know adult issues like that. I understand explaining to them their own race since the child asked. But I wouldn’t even begin to talk about the issue of racism. Tell them they are white and teach them about other races. Teach them there is nothing wrong with other races and they are just the same as you. Having friends that are of different races will be great for your kids to grow up with. Make it a positive conversation. Idk if you are religious but I explain to my children that god created us all and to love and treat everyone the same.
Just point to his arm and say you’re that color right there
I have 3 mixed Greatgrand kids and it makes no difference what their skin color is
Explain we are all part of the human race and all the different colors of the human race is what makes it so beautiful! That is the way I put it for my kids and that seems to resonate with them well.
I used to tell my cousin that we needed all the colors of the rainbow for it to be beautiful and bright (she LOVED rainbows). I said that every color is beautiful separate, but together are a masterpiece. Then I told her people are like that. Every race was beautiful and together we shine and that’s what makes the world beautiful.
My best advice: be matter of fact. They probably heard somewhere that they were white and were confused because their skin is kind of a beige color - not white. Then talk to them about how people come in all different colors and that’s pretty cool. When they ask questions about race, just be really matter of fact. Don’t make them think that race is bad or shameful…unfortunately shushing them makes them think that.
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It’s airing on Saturday and jst something they can watch and if they have any questions then you can answer them the best way you can.
Tell them that just like they choose thier favorite colors when making art God also chose to use his favorite colors when making people (his art). Maybe do something fun, draw some different shapes of people, make paper dolls give them all sort of different facial faetures, color them whatever color your child chooses glue on different materials for hair and stuff. Your child will be proud of what they made (as they often are )and explain thats how God must feel when he makes each master piece. Although they maybe different, shapes, hieghts, abilities, colors, features, they are all made from love and are all beautiful. Just an idea but i feel like this could answer alot of questions for a child. Not just race but all the different ways a person can look that they will eventually ask you about.
Dont treat it like its taboo and it wont be. Tell him what color he is. Tell him your friends are hispanic. God made everyone. Boom! Done! Seriously its not a big deal just be casual about it and he will think nothing of different ethnicities
As my family is very mixed, my children grew up with their cousins being a different race. We never really had a “different” color talk as it is just our normal. My oldest did tell us that he was skin color blonde when he was young. Outside of that we never really heard about it again. I’m realizing I don’t really have the best answer as this is just our normal. 
We plan on having our 8 year old watch this on Saturday
God makes everyone different, that’s what makes us so special. That’s exactly what I said to my kids. Easy peasy lemon squeasy
We start early so our children don’t hurt any other children. It is the humane thing to do
Ignoring all of the different colors of humanity is not working! It has not worked for a very long time! We are not giving black people the credit they deserve when we say “We’re all the same” because WE as white people are the only ones who have actually gotten to feel that way. Black people have never been equal or even and its important for our kids (not at 3yrs though) to understand that so we as humanity can work off that and change it for future generations! I have 2 girls of my own and 3 wonderful children who were born before I met them, One of my girls is white and my youngest and all her siblings are black, It has been very interesting to watch my eldest mind unfold and answer all of her questions as best as my husband and I can and we DO tell her the truth, We do tell her that one day her little sister MIGHT be treated differently than her because some people have trouble understanding that we are all humans, And how disgusted we as a family are with that kind of behavior. My partner grew up with things as a black child and now a black man that I would straight up KILL SOMEONE if they ever did/said around ANY of my babies, ANY babies. Thank you for asking yourself the question that is literally the first step, Just educate your kids as you go xx
Color comes from melanin and everyones is slightly different. Darker comes from ppl whos ancestors come from where its hotter. Lighter from where its cooler. Bam scientific and done
3yr olds dont understand racism. Just teach everyone deserves kindness and respect
Open a box of Crayons pour them out ask your children what colors they see tell them God made people of all colors just like the box of crayons just like their toys, flowers ,birds, food he made a rainbow of colors and we’re all beautifully and wonderfully made:pray:
The people that are saying children are too young are completely wrong. You could start out by buying diverse and multi-ethnic books and toys. As a preschool teacher, each classroom has books, dolls, crayons, markers, puppets and more!
Here is a great resource
Umm just tell him his white but people come in all different colours it’s no big deal 
I would say “you are not a color you are a human. Just like everyone else. We are all humans. Your ethnicity is blah blah blah, but we are all humans and should love each other even if we look different.”
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I am not a person of color, but I would recommend some books for your 3.5 year old. You can read them to him. You can also buy him toys that show different races. I am doing this with my 2 year old daughter.
That no matter the color we are all human. My daughter is mixed and quit dark and my other 2 have Native skin tone. And nobody has really asked questions about it. My children have never asked. My nephews are mixed as well. We don’t see color we see family and friends.
My kid asked, i said you’re white. I also tell her that nobody should ever make her feel bad about that, and she can never make anyone feel bad about their skintone. We are all humans. We might have different skintone, but we all bleed red. She is the only white among her friends, and she loves them all
Well I have biracial children and one who isn’t. It was our normal to be around people of color. However, very early in I read books about people of color and different events or stories all for children. If they had questions we talked honestly and age appropriate of course and all went well.
You have to teach them that whatever color they are, they should never be ashamed about their race. All types of races have been persecuted throughout history. Living here or being born on American soil, you’ve just won the lottery of life. Why do you think people from all around the world try to come here illegally just to have the their children here on U.S. soil and be considered “Americans”?? Because we are the best country in the world.
We are a species that is adversarial by nature and everywhere we go there will be problems, whether it’s skin color or ideological but nowhere in the world, considering all elements of human nature, is the quality of life expectancy as high as it is here. If you don’t think so, go to another country and try to raise your flag, protest about their government and your treatment, and tell them you need money and a place to live and you want them to pay for it and give you an education all for free, and see what they will tell you.
Be proud to be an American and don’t use race, religion or gender to for an excuse to not be the best! Life is about winning and if winning isn’t everything then why do we keep score??
This Saturday…it might help🤷🏽♀️
It’s really not a big deal. Tell them they’re white, and that all people come in different colours and they’re all beautiful. It’s only a big deal when you make it one!
Let him see your behavior and hear how you talk. The bible tells us to teach them as you walk with them. They learn by our behavior. I was in school during the war. The school was on Marshall Rd. Teacher let us out to watch the caravans go by. In one truck was 2 black men. Some students made fun of them. We were taken back in school and she told us they were fighting and getting killed just like the other men so we could win the war.
These posts reminded me of 2 situations involving my younger brother. I’m 64 and he is 8-years younger. He had an assignment in early grammar school. I don’t recall the specifics, but he was to draw and color in what people looked like to the students in his class. His finished picture was colorful. He saw himself as black, brown, blue, red, etc. I’m Hispanic/Native and Sicilian. He is Hispanic.
On another occasion, we were in downtown N.Y. for the day and he and I were walking hand-in-hand ahead of our parents and he turned around and asked, innocently and loud to my parents, “Why are the monkeys walking in the streets”. Oops, my parents ran up to us and pushed us into the store to quietly explain. My father (Sicilian) was racist and bigoted. When my mother wasn’t around. He would call us his Spic children. I never understood why he married my mother, but really never asked.
I found myself being confused about why I felt confused about our differences. Luckily, it didn’t stick with me. I’m a retired nurse of over 40-years. The only time I felt confused about being the same as the next human with different skin tone was when others pointed it out. I would occasionally be asked why I treated everyone the same. My reply has always been, “Because, we are the same”.
I liked a few posters replies. The crayon idea seems on point. Definitely, start responding to questions before a bigot or racist chimes in with inappropriate responses.
Honey the fact that you’re trying is wonderful!
M&Ms. Worked perfectly for my son. We all look different on the outside but are all the same inside.
I would say well your rather multicoloured. You have __ eyes and ___hair you have different colour spots everywhere (followed by playful pokes) (freckles if they have any my daughter does haha) you have lots of colours and to many to be just one. No one is only one colour we all just share our colours different. And baby no matter what colours you are on the inside we are all the same.
I’m Christian so I just tell my 4yo that God made each person unique and that it doesn’t matter what color our skin is because we are all human and God’s children. I tell her she is white with a little Hispanic, but that doesn’t make her any better or any worse than someone with another skin color and that we are all born equally. Unfortunately the world sees color including on people and i want her to know that we are all equal and to never mistreat people of other race and never let others mistreat her.
Dr. Seuss books, The Sneeches. It is a great way to show how off base judging anyone by a physical characteristic is.
There are many story books about race. Look for something age appropriate and can relate the idea clearly.
You don’t. You talk to them about respect! You help them curate a solid moral base. You teach them HUMANITY.
When I was 5 we moved to Memphis Tennessee I had no idea what racism was it was an extreme culture shock and I remember my sister(3) asking somebody at the grocery store why their skin looked like that… my mom was embarrassed and afraid she had offended. She hadn’t, this grown man got down and explained that he was born that way. My sister…“oh, well it’s pretty.” My mom also had no idea that race on race racism was a thing found that out the hard way. Honesty with children is the best way, they are born with love, hate is taught. My God parents are black from living in Memphis
Kids learn from watching their parents as well. When she sees you’re not acting any different towards anyone with a different skin tone, she will do the same! Racism is taught and learned. So as long as you teach her it dont matter what skin color someone is, they are a human being just like her momma and just like her and deserve love and compassion no matter what color you are. We are God’s coloring pencils, we all have some that makes us unique and sometimes that means the color of our skin.
I never talk to mine kids about race, I just taught them to be kind to everyone. They never saw color & that is how it should be
My daughter asked me this once and i told.her god makes us all different she is 10 now and her.cousins are all.mixed its a beautiful thing
My 6 year old has been raised with religious beliefs. When my daughter brought up a question like that regarding her kinder classmate I responded.
“ honey God made us all different because if we were all the same then we wouldn’t be special”
She said yes mommy. I love both of my brothers the same. Like how Andrew has lighter skin and Oliver has dark skin.
Btw, Andrew and Oliver are both my sons. Both are my husbands children. One is light skin and one is dark skin.
I think she understood my point
probably he asked you because he wanted to draw and color himself? My kids would ask me that way they can get the closest color to color themselves in their drawing. Also knowing their skin color is nothing bad. You just got to teach them humility and respect for everyone. Don’t feel weird or bad about it and definitely don’t make it seem like if white color skin means racist. It’s some people who chooses to be evil regardless color🤷🏻♀️
Depends if you want to go the scientific way or the religious way.
I would simply say either: “God made us all a little different outside, but inside we are all the same”
Or: “people come from different places and they have different skin because of the sun” or something like that.
When my niece was asking questions (her family is biracial) we explained it to her with apples. You have red apples, green apples, yellow apples, apples with spots, small apples, big apples, but inside they are all the same sweet juicy fruit (you dont need to go in to semantics about taste). Just like people.
This doesnt make anyone seem inferior or bad, just a different apple.
But I would certainly not shield her from physical differences, just as you would not shield her from people with red hair or glasses.
Why wouldn’t you just answer the question that is being asked of a 3 year old? He’s white! That’s all he’s looking for at this age. I believe that if love is shown and taught then that’s what he will grow up knowing. You become who you surround yourself with so make sure the people that you surround him with shows love and respect.
I also believe that teaching my kids at a young age that life is about choices and that every choice has a consequence good or bad.
Tell him his color,then show him people who are different colors, show him brown eyed people green,blue,etc and show him blondes brunettes and redheads then tell him that’s why this world is so great because everyone is different then point to him and say “there’s only one YOU”
There are many colors on the earth to enjoy.people come in different colors too and each color is beautiful as are the people.we should consider each person special no matter the color.
I would just tell him. Act like it’s no big deal bc it isn’t. Explain regardless everyone bleeds red.
People may be a different color on the outside but everyone is the same inside
You had it right we are all one js different shades. We all have red blood and we all came from one creator.
Jesus loves the little children sing it to them they’ll love it
It’s not what’s on outside that counts it’s inside 
Not trying to be dismissive by saying “Google it” but there are so many good resources out there, if I were you I would read up as much as possible and try to find a method that works for your family and your children’s level of understanding. So glad you came around and decided to have this conversation with them 
child psychology how to talk to children about race - Google Search
I feel your kid felt safe to ask you that, there are a lot of things children notice but don’t speak up on. Depending on your response and action and body language he/she will most likely not ask you again! I feel the best way to address as a black mom and to my mixed child, is to explain to your child their white, their beautiful everything about them is special! There are also other special cool kids too that are dark brown( black), brown, tan, etc … (name the rainbow) anyway, your kid that we all bleed the same and have everything the same internally, we just have a couple of different features like skin, maybe nose, hair, teeth but we all look the same too because we are all the same as a human race!
I feel like you could explain to him or her that Many different color of people and that he is white but there is difference inside. Your child notices a difference right now. If you make it a big deal it will be one and that’s heavy for a kid at that age. What does make me wonder what someone has said to him or what he was exposed to that would lead to a question like that.
We are all human. We come in every size, shape, color… there is no one better than another. We are all equally different in our own ways but as a whole size, shape, and color does not define who anyone is.
My hubby is native american. In the summer him and my oldest get extremely dark and then get really tan. Also, im not sure what my dads dad was but he would get extremely tan. While me and my youngest are pasty and burn and then kinda tan. My oldest loves everybody! We have told her everyone comes in all shapes, sizes and colors but we’re all made the same and everyone is special in their own way. Just try to explain it in a way that they can understand and when they get older, explain it again. My hubbys side has lots of mixed babies and on one of his cousins side, there are a lot of mixed babies. Our youngest is a red head and we get looks and comments all the time about if our youngest is even my husbands
I have 3 sons all teens now but I’ve always had open discussions about everything ie race, lgbtq, politics. I was born and raised in Los Angels so I was always surrounded by diversity. When I was younger my mom bought my sister and I black dolls and Barbies. Being introduced to different cultures at a young age is enlightening. You learn people are different and that’s ok in fact it should be celebrated. But also inside we’re all the same. We all bleed. We all hurt but we all love the same way. You can even start with choosing meals (from other cultures) that are different than what you usually make and explain where the food you’re making originated from and share positive examples of that culture. I hope more parents get comfortable having these talks with their kids. It’s better your kids hear from you than anyone else.
I explained to my son how everyone came here from other places and because of where they’re from they r different colors, he used the term “black people” and I didn’t want him saying it like that
I have biracial children, and my kids have faced racism from birth. I need you to teach your children that we don’t judge people based on how they look. We don’t choose our friends based off of height or weight or eye color, so why are we basing it off of skin color? Everyone is different! Children need to understand that people are judged based on actions not looks.
Have your kids read books and watch shows that portray people of color in good light. And often. Because people of color are portrayed in negative ways everywhere.
Don’t be afraid to talk to them about skin color because if they don’t learn the right thing from YOU they will learn the wrong things from their friends.
Saturday I forget the channel at 10 a news station has a Sesame Street episode about it.
I’m a white woman with biracial children. My oldest is 8. She did not notice until one of her school friends said “your mom is white”. She asked me if I was really her mom 
. I didn’t notice those things as a child.
I shrugged it off
My daughter brought it up again when she heard the president of the United States saying stuff about Mexicans and a wall
Again how sad.
She is asking now why people are so angry on TV
I showed her the video of officers that is currently going viral.
She cried and said she is mad too.
I just told her people have hate in their heart for people who may look different than them but we all bleed red and should love everyone
I still have a hard time explaining things. I’m hoping with history books I can show her our past atrocities and how we can be better.
Umm. I’m white with biracial children…and your the mom of the kid who call my daughter dora because shes brown with twin siblings. 🤦
Color is only the skin, the rest of the body,muscles, bones , heart and brains ,are the same