My father is a volunteer firefighter. And works in a factory as well. For as long as I can remember, he has been quite a large man. Over the last ten years now, he’s gotten bigger than he has ever been before. Heart problems run in his family, and I’m starting to really worry about him. He is the only early 40s, and we’ve never had an extremely close relationship. His wife is also on the heavier side. I’m having trouble figuring out the best way to have a conversation with him about how concerned I really am, and I want him to make a change in his life. I want my father in my life for a long time, but I don’t want to ruin the already fragile relationship we have, and I don’t want to offend him. I’m willing to help in any way I can, even living an hour and a half away — any advice as to how best approach this situation would be extremely appreciated.
Invite him to walk WITH YOU or to the gym WITH YOU ,etc.cant be OFFENDED if it means time together 
(I’m overweight and my youngest goes to the gym WITH me ,feels good vs feeling attacked about weight 
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Just flat out tell him…how can he save someone elses life when he needs to save his own
You’re so sweet. Did u say ur dad is in his early 40’s? … maybe you could see if he’ll join a gym with (I didn’t look at ur profile, I’m noit calling u over weight). I think Planet Fitness is only like $10 a month
It’s called tough love. Either speak your mind or keep shut.
Maybe invite him to go walking with you so you can spend more time together. Tell him one of your friends just lost her father and losing him is one of your worst fears and you want more tim together. Invite him over for healthy meals. If you think his wife could talk to him, go through her.
Speak your mind. Even though people will only change if they want to, he needs to know how you feel. I had to do the same thing with my mom. She is 50 and weighs over 300. It’s called tough love for a reason.
Maybe do it without bringing up weight. Call and ask medical history for his side of the family. Say its for filling out forms for your Dr. Maybe just having it all on his mind will help him realize he needs to make some changes. If not its a good segue to bringing up his health.
Yeah, fat people know they’re fat & don’t need to be told. It’s not what you’re eating, it’s what’s eating you. Ask him what his fears are & how he copes. Then you can segue into your fear of losing him.
My dad passed away at 47 from the same issues… I tried to talk to him and it never worked… but maybe try to do things with him and make sure he gets moving and eat healthier as a whole family
Try to build a more secure relationship with him and tell him that you are concerned for his health and his ability to do firefighting and save lives. But, most of all you want him to save his own life by becoming healthy. Ask him to walk with you and talk about how you want him to be around for a long time.
You can talk until your blue in the face. You can pull out stats galore. None of it will matter unless your dad is open to making changes
maybe giving him s purpose like spending time at the station helping out with things he can
Tell him what you just told us. You are worried and want him to be with you forever. Say you’d like to talk to him, and say it just like you said it to us. Go for it!
Just sit down with him and say ‘dad I know we aren’t close and I would like us get closer but I’m worried we won’t be able to as tbh dad I’m worried about your health, please don’t take offense, I just want my daddy around for as long as possible, I love you daddy.’
Just tell him how much i love him and want to have him for long time. That should do it, if he care.
Just don’t. Appreciate him for who he is and don’t try to parent him. You never know, it could be an accident or anything else that kills him. Spend time with him that you have now.
My husband is also a volunteer firefighter. I was lucky that he realized his health needed to improve on his own. However, you could start a conversation about you seeing an article about a young firefighter having a heart attack (there are quite a few of then). Tell him you were concerned after reading about it and see what he says. It’s difficult to have that conversation if they are not ready to face it themselves, though. But you’ll know what to say when you sit down with him.
Maybe asked if he will join a gym with his wife! And you can pay for the membership but do a trial one first!
Tell him what you just said at the end… ask him to sit down, have a conversation, be honest, be kind.
My dad is a firefighter and works in a factory as well and has heart problems. He’s 62 and we can tell him to follow a certain diet set by his dr but it’s honestly up to him if he wants to follow anything. I would just make sure when you are over there, you ask how he’s feeling and then suggest what he could do to improve that.
Tell him you love him, and you hope he is around for a very long time. Anything else will be hurtful, and not helpful. He knows he’s fat. He doesn’t need you to tell him that. Your mentioning he’s fat in any well meaning context is not going to change him. It is however going to annoy him. People make their own choices for their own personal reasons. He is choosing to eat the things he does. He’s a firefighter. He has to physically qualify on a routine basis. The department will tell him if he doesn’t because he is a liability. Getting healthier may help him live longer, but at what cost. If he can’t eat the things he wants and do the things he wants, he could question what’s the point in living longer. People want to be happy. Unfortunately, that isn’t always the best for longevity. If you want your fragile balance to continue, I would stick with you love him. The rest is up to him.
Do whatever you can but do it before its too late! I lost my dad this past January. Died in his sleep. 
He worried about everyone else and always put his health on hold. I wish I would have pushed him just a bit harder. 
My doctor just straight up told me that I was a beautiful young lady but that my weight was getting dangerous. It didn’t hurt my feelings. Just be honest about it. And tell him what you said in the post. Good luck. !
Wow, God bless America, bless our President, Amen !
Just be honest. Lay out how your feeling (without pointing out the heavy bit) and just ask him how his health is doing. If he gets defensive or questions it just tell him what you said here, there’s a history of problems and you’re just making sure he’s being proactive with his health so he’ll be here for you and your kids for a long time.
When is the last time he has had a Dr check up? If not, encourage him to go get one. They will tell him.
Even as a volunteer I’m sure he would have to pass a medical to be a fire fighter. In which case he would have already been told about his weight and any other risks/issues! But anyway, just tell him what you’ve said here. Make it knows it comes from a good place and that you’re not trying to criticise or offend him, and that you love him and want him around for a long time x
It sounds like you know what you want to say. You’ve just got to do it. Tell him all the things you just wrote in this post. Tell him how much you care for him and by no means do you want this to hurt your relationship. In fact it’s because of that relationship being so fragile you want him around so y’all can work on it together. Offer to work out with him… help him find a nutritionist. Good luck. 
Just be honest to him as to why u are addressing him with the health topic. And if he doesn’t take the love u are showing him towards saving his life.or longer life together…that would have to be he choice…no one can change another person but planting that love seed into his heart. And showing him u care is the first start…
I’d say please dont take the wrong way, I care for you and want you around for a long time. Could we please come up with a plan to help you get healthier.
Be Honest and tell your Father your concerned ABOUT him. That you want him around for a long time. Or make an appointment for him and go with him. And his wife. But most of all be honest. It’s goes along way. Best of luck to you and your Father.
He is a grown man just tell him if you don’t loose the weight you will die then explain how you want him around not only for you but grandkids
Be honest and don’t make it about the weight but about his health and exactly what you’ve told us, you want him to be around for a long time but you dont want to offend him by bringing it up but your worried. All the best.
With him being a volenteer Firefighter he needs to be in shape and good health. He will be a liability to the department if he fails to do the job. They shouldn’t allow people to volenteer if they are not in good health.
There is no real easy way to this, just sot down and have a heart to heart talk. Yall are both adults. He might get offended, but it will be heard. Maybe have a talk with his wife prior and see if she will supprt you with this chat.
Share what you have written, in a letter form, to him. Emphasis that you have written this with the great love you have for him…and what he means to you…I’d do this after the festive season, cause the last thing you would want to do is create an atmosphere, at this family time.
I don’t think there is anything else you can do.
You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make em drank, your dad know he is a heavy man and more less active and comfortable, But you on the other hand digging up bones on family history like one for all and all for one, besides we all are living in dis world of over weight ppls, Let yo dad be until
Just because someone is heavy, doesn’t mean they are unhealthy. If you are truly, and I want to emphasize TRULY concerned, ask if he has seen a doctor lately and if he is in good health. If he is, do not worry about it. If he hasn’t, just tell him he is at an age it is good to get check ups more often or something of the like. There is no reason to specifically point out or ask about his weight, and if he was concerned, he’d be doing something about it. No matter how you try and phrase “I’m concerned about you being overweight” is going to be unnecessarily hurtful.
Go for walk with him. Do more outdoor activities with him as a family and maybe he wont see it as so offensive or hard but be encouraged by the family. As an overweight person when others help me I feel motivated to do more when I’m on my own to fight for a healthy lifestyle.
Tell him what you’ve said here. It’s a powerful message. Also pray before you talk to him. Works all the time for me