Let her come to you but let her know she can before it’s too late and let her dad know what’s going on with his daughter so he can approach mom about it. The best thing is to just be there for her.
As a woman who didn’t have someone to talk to her about puberty I suggest you go ahead and have the talk with her. My mom left everything up to the public school system to teach me and there was some things my mother should have taught me that I learned from experience and adulthood. My sister had to teach me how to use tampons because my mom wasn’t around much. This is definitely a subject I will focus on when my daughter becomes a woman. I want my daughter to be comfortable enough to talk to me about puberty and periods and sex. If she can’t confide in her mother she deserves to have a woman to talk to about it and that sounds to me like it’s you. Teach her. Be her safe space.
2 Likes
Her teeth are dad’s responsibility to attend to as well. Just talk to her. Or ask the mom if she has talked to her about it yet.
2 Likes
Have you talked to her mom?
There are a ton of books that break it down for the kids. You could even talk to her school nurse or a female guidance counselor for suggestions
1 Like
Daughter’s step mother? step daughter? I’m confused…
1 Like
Try talking to the mom. She may really step up and surprize you. If she acts like you are wrong for bringing this up, talk to her dad. Maybe between the 3 of you something good will come out of this.
1 Like
Just say to her mother hey I noticed (girls name) is starting to bud into a young lady and I was wondering if you would mind if I gift her with a puberty ready bag for when Aunt Flo makes her arrival
3 Likes
I’m a step mom and I just did it. She is going into 9th grade and her mom didn’t even know she was shaving. She has been shaving for almost 2 years. Things are starting to happen downstairs. So I showed her how to put on a pad and a liner. I have always been the one to step up bc her mom is not interested in her.
1 Like
Please talk to her and let her know you are there for her. My friends mom taught me about tampons. When I asked my mom I got there is stuff under the sink if u need it
2 Likes
Your overstepping your bounds by even being in the bathroom while shes bathing. My 6yo has more privacy than your step daughter
3 Likes
Why isn’t her dad taking her to the dentist? And you and dad can talk to her together. I also feel like at 9 you shouldn’t be seeing her naked in the bathroom give her some privacy
2 Likes
American Girl has a book called “All about you” or,All About Me… you can get it on Amazon. Its a great place to start
It’s funny when the topic of step mom’s/ dad’s come up. When the step parent is complaining about something… it’s you need to treat the kid equal, love the kid equal, etc ect but the turn around and say, let mom or dad handle it, your over stepping, talk to mom. So I can feed the kid, wash their clothes, love them play with them but not teach them things? Step mom needs to just be mom and do what she feels is right and needed.
3 Likes
So why cant your husband take her to the dentist? That’s all I’m hung up on right now?
1 Like
Why are you in the bathroom with her at the age of 9? If she needs to go to the dentist dad can take her too not just mom. Get her little bag ready and go ahead with the talk. Her mom will get over it.
1 Like
I am a stepmama…aka…bonus mom. My daughter started her period at church camp. I had a little bag made up for her just in case she needed it. I am also the one who talked to her about her changing body. The key word is mama or mom…not “step.” She is your daughter and you are her mama. 
2 Likes
I like that sammye Lawson well said