How can I talk to my family about my abuse?

You, your daughter and your husband are your family now. Protect yourself and your family by telling them the truth and that you are not willing to be abused by him remotely through them. If you could handle what happened to you and still create a family of your own…then …the truth is something they need to handle.
Love and protect yourself and your family and tell the truth. Also seek counseling.
Blessings and Love to you.

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You must tell. It will start your healing .

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STEVE WILCOS JUST HAD THIS ON HIS SHOW. NO ONE BELIEVED HER.
AFTER THE LIE DETECTOR THEY ALL APOLOGIZED. YOU’RE ACTUALLY LUCKY HE’S ALREADY IN PRISON. BUT, SO ARE YOU!! LET IT OUT!
Guarentee more years to keep him there!!
SOME CLAIM HE WAS YOUNG AND DUMB.
YOU WERE YOUNG AND INNOCENT.
NOW YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER!!
SAVE THE KIDS!!!
STEVE OFFERS COUNCELING.
GOOD LUCK!! :+1: :+1:

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U need to tell them in your own time .don’t pressurise yourself .just keep breathing and living your life.the truth will come out when ready x

Your obviously a grown woman now, imagine if it was your child, good luck,xxxx

You’re the victim here, not him! I would seek counseling and talk to them about it and they will guide you in the right direction on how to tell your mother…she needs to. know the truth and deal with it … you are what matters here!

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Call a family meeting

Tell then straight up

No pics… write him a letter about your feelings. Don’t hold back. Then start yourself a journal. Use it for your bad days. It is there where you can let out the anger, the pain. I am sure that considering he is in prison, the family realizes he is no angel. You will be able to tell them about the abuse when you are ready.

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Tell them it will hurt them but you know what you cannot and should not feel guilty about others feelings you have the right to say what you need to say to feel comfortable and at ease you didn’t do anything wrong just explain to them what happened and that you are not comfortable with sending him letters or pictures and that it is bringing up bad memories that you would like to not be having as far as anyone else in the family they can do as they please you are responsible for you and your family now that you are an adult and know that you didn’t do anything wrong he did you are no longer a victim speak girl speak loud if it offends anyone oh well you have every right to speak and tell the truth! Even if it is just to your mom

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Protect your and your daughter’s peace by not giving into your family’s wishes of being in contact with him. It’s up to you if you want to disclose any information but also remember that you don’t owe anybody an explanation; especially when it comes to your peace of mind and protection of you and your child

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Please tell your Mom you will protect you and your daughter by speaking out sending love and light xx

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You should tell your mother- what if he gets out and does it to someone else? How are you going to explain then? How would you live with it? Your mother is an adult, she might be hurt , but she will understand!

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No if you don’t say anything you will never have piece, you need to tell your mom.

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I would start counseling and then tell them all about it, especially your mom- do not write to him about your family and definitely don’t send him pic of your daughter!! Write to him and tell him you remember and how you feel!!

I agree with Ashley Bruce!

Write to him. And tell him the truth, tell him how you really feel about him. Tell him off. You may feel better

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The first thing I want to say to you is this: YOU DID NOTHING WRONG! You deserve to heal. And keep in mind that EVERYONE heals differently. I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I would LOVE to see you do. Open up… I would tell your mom the truth. She’s your mother. She may love her brother, but she deserves to know the truth. Just be ready to understand that people take things and react to them differently. Prepare yourself for different outcomes. Your mother may believe you straight out, then again, she may start out with being in denial from shock. But you deserve that healing process. He doesn’t deserve for you to hide this for him.

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Honey sometimes you just need to speak your truth. Tell your truth to your mom. When your ready too. You didnt do any wrong at all.
Have you thought about seeking out some counseling? That could help some before you tell your family.
If you need to write that letter then do it from the truth. Write every hurt and pain down on that paper and mail it. You can’t control how they’ll react to the truth. But remember no matter what they say or think you were the victim. It was real. And sometimes victims get the backlash and its not right its not fair at all.
Sounds like you are on your way to healing these deep wounds. I wish you so much love and joy on your journey.

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What if he did it to others either in your family or not?? You need to come out with the information to your Mom and then the rest of the family.

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Ptsd comes and goes. You may think you’re over it then something triggers it and your right back in the throws of emotion. I would seek a counselor to help you with speaking to your family. And absolutely, do NOT feel obligated to write him. You do not have to confront your abuser or pretend for anyone’s sake. Do what makes you feel safe.

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I would definitely tell everyone what happened

Get a counselor!! DO NOT FOR ANY REASON CONTACT HIM!!! AT ALL

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I think you should tell her and probably talk to a therapist for that trauma you went through

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I can’t tell you what to do. But I personally would share it with them, yes it will hurt them… But nothing compares to how hurt you where and still are. You are not the bad guy here… He is.

I’m so sorry this happened to you.:heart:

Perhaps talking to your mumma with help you heal. You don’t need to suffer with this in silence especially to protect everyone else’s feelings.

And if you need to talk please feel free to inbox me. I went through sexual abuse that was everything apart from mol£st@tion/p£n£tration (sorry about weird spelling Facebook have major policing atm.) and for along time I convinced myself that it was OK because he didn’t actually do the act. But it was not ok, and I’ve finally realised it was not on me.

Sending you so much love and healing. xx

It was not your fault you were so young it’s his fault He knows he was old Enough to know right or wrong I would till my mom and family because he belongs in prison and pray that he didn’t do that to no one else because that is really sad

You need to speak up, you could also use some therapy speak to your local doctor and he will be able to give you a therapist name. You must tell your mother.

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I think you should seek out a therapist that specializes in sexual trauma, trauma response, etc. And look into support groups around sexual incest. They might provide some much needed support and help you come up with a plan to tell your family. Hugs to you!!! Praying for comfort and feeling for you. God bless.

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Not even worth telling the fam. They won’t believe you.

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TELL YOUR MOM. Truth will set u free!

At the end of the day the choice is yours to concur and once you have then u can be at peace. Remember u are number one and number one is worthy of respect.

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Would you want your child to be a secret keeper from you if someone did something bad to them?

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I have never delt with family molestation, but I have delt with it. I did not tell anyone for a long time because of the guilt my preditor put on me. I finally told my mom, and she was very supportive. Granted… your situation is a family issue… I have learned through my grieving process, and hearing stories of others and statistics, that family members and “close friends” of the family are the great majority of preditors. A lot of different outcomes depending on the situation. I’ve learned it is always best to let someone know! Even a therapist. I don’t know you or your mom, but especially with your mom growing up with him, maybe she has ran into a couple things she found out that she disproved of with other victims growing up with him, maybe she thought “I haven’t heard of anything from my children, so perhaps he respects family” it’s been so long… you need to tell someone. :revolving_hearts: sending lots of love your way!! Even telling strangers on your post shows you at least want to do the first step and get it out there! I commend you for that!:heart:

You already kept it to yourself long enough. You have seen that that has not help. You have seen that you are not getting over it. Why do you think that would change if you kept it longer??? You deserve peace. You didn’t do this. This was done to you! This is why men keep doing this, because women allow them to. Vent no, so you can finally get over it. It’s the only way

Tell them , it will help you relief your pain and teach your children not to keep secrets like that from you.

Tell your family . You did nothing wrong . I would not tell that man a thing about my child! I’m so sorry this happened to you .

No. You need to find someone to talk to. A Doctor that works in that field.

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Those flashbacks are PTSD. Tell them and things may blow the family apart or it will bring you and your mother closer. Hard to know and a tough decision but you can’t keep carrying this. You need a release.

You don’t need to protect him any longer. He’s in prison so he can’t hurt you anymore. Tell your mother in private exactly what he did to you. Be prepared for tears and accusations of lying; after all, he is her brother. But don’t pretend to love him just to please her. She needs to know the truth so she can protect you and her granddaughter from others like him. Or ever from him, if he ever escapes or gets paroled. I pray to God he never does.

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Please stop keeping family secrets, tell your family.

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Tell your mother she may not believe you but it help you heal in the future

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Say it out loud and tell them. I did - over it all. Truth is truth. Everything built on a lie is a lie. Interesting that you worry they will not love you or you will hurt them while they brought this person into your home and placed him in a position to hurt you. He is in prison and you’re supposed to write him? Give him a picture of your family? Write him a letter and copy your family on telling him that you were asked to write him and since he hurt you, you will do it one time, copy the family, then say what he did and say now how you feel. Say it out loud to put it down, then nobody will ask you again. Your mother doesn’t like it? Grow up and change it. You have a daughter and it is time to stop all that broken shit that came before so you be less broken for her. You are teaching her to feel same and project on her to “keep secrets”. What parent asks you to keep that silent? Would you ask that of her?

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I think u should tell her and go from there but id never write to him or send him pictures

Don’t be afraid to love you more and take care of you and your children. Open up a reveal your hurt what right has he to keep you in captivity for the sake of your family. It took me 43 years to disclose and the healing is still on going. Be strong

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Tell them but be prepared for pain. My family didn’t believe me. So it wouldn’t surprise me if you experience the same thing. Stay strong.

The fact that he is in prison and still wielding power over you, is so hurtful and damaging! Do not send him pictures or communicate with him at all! If you feel safe telling your husband and Mum, then do that, also might be time to see a trauma therapist to help you navigate through this situation. A support group might help! You are a human, who deserves to be treated with respect and kindness, you have rights and liberty, save yourself and those whom you love! Be safe, goodluck

Therapist will help you make that decision… number one you need to heal… number two protect your family… by this I mean your kiddos and your husband. When you’re ready to talk to your family then do it…not by yourself. Have your husband with you… his job is to protect you. The second anyone starts being ugly with you get up and walk away. Do Not feel guilty of anything. You were a victim… innocent young victim.

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Should of told yrs ago so just live for today being thankful because the past is gone and today is new day to be happy to god he gave you wonderful husband with good future which most women dont have and blessings of today came into your life with new beginnings of joy amen

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Be thankful to god for today we cannot change past but we have future amen

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Don’t care what others have to say it’s time that you take care of your self, do what will make you feel better and give you some sort of peace get help if you think you need it to be able to move on

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Tell then what he did to you

Plz dnt keep it to yourself, about time you tell your mum the truth.you now deserve to live in peace.

You may need trauma counselling, I’m not sure what would be the best way to talk t your family maybe with the support of your counsellor
I would not have contact with your perpetrator as it will cause harm to you
All the very best

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No…speak up…and free yourself…you did nothing wrong

You should talk to a counselor to help yourself process these feelings. I am not a therapist. If I were your mom I would want to know. If they don’t know they don’t understand that you are hurting because of this and don’t understand you are hurting when they speak of him. That’s your choice. This is not your fault. You are not alone. Good luck with whatever you choose.

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Pls talk to a counselor. You need to overcome the childhood trauma so that you can move on with your life free of negative flashbacks…

If this was ur daughter, would u want her to tell u? I know if it was my daughter…i would want to know asap. Tell ur mother.

READ THIS COMMENT AS a former Correctional Officer-- You can use this excuse, because it is TRUE! You do NOT want to send any photo’s of children to the prison, as they are borrowed/sold/traded as porn even though the child is dressed. Writing letters, will reveal your address, your handwriting for fraud and you do not want any dealings with anyone in the prison. I strongly make certain that your mom don’t send any pictures of your child either, you need to make this very clear.

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Shout it to the rooftops…

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If you don’t speak out, it could happen to another little girl, when he gets out.

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You dont have to send him shit. I would sure as hell not send him pictures.

I’m not a therapist but I know of 2 situations exactly like yours. One of the victims finally expressed their feeling and is your age they are getting therapy now. It’s late coming but it’s better for victims like you all to speak up.
God Bless you honey and all the innocents boys as well as girls.
Tell all honey shine light on all those dark places you have that are tormenting your mind.
Your life will be fresh and wonderful for you and you loved ones.

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No ,I went through something like that as a child,and if has destroyed me in some way,and now it’s coming out,because I can’t deal with it,even with it being in the past

Go see a counselor, they can help you with how to approach your mother about this situation.

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You need to talk this out with someone.

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Tell them why should you suffer for his sin

I would write him. I would write your feelings towards him and what he did to you. Let him sit and think about it and it’ll be a matter of closure and healing for yourself. Your mother may love her brother but she loves you more, tell!

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You need to tell them so you can be free.

Absofknlutely do NOT send him picts of your child and tell them not to either. Do ask a counselor about how to approach the situation.

I am not a doctor but i am a mother.Tell her. If it causes you to lose her so be it. Your Mom may reslize more than yoh think. You need professional help weather you tell family or not. You are in my prayers.

Get it out it’s gonna eat at you until you do

You need to tell your parents and if they choose not to believe you then that’s your card to wipe the lot of them…life is to short to live an unhappy life and now it’s your time with your daughter and husband…

Tell … speak up and tell them all … how else can they protect others he may encounter … DONT be afraid to speak out the truth :pray::+1:

My mum apologised when it was way to late damage done to late I can’t forgive as she new she was doing it :triumph::triumph: