He should look after his mother to a certain extent-She had him before you-that shows he is a good person-He will have to dive his time between you all-can’t just write off family
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Be proud that your man has a relationship with his family… if it’s not bothering him and you have been with him a year then you already know he has every intention of helping his mama and sister quit trying to change him and help with him or move on
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I have a few questions and concerns… Do you have siblings are you close?. Are you close with your parents?. And this is how you feel but is this how he feels about this?. I’m 41 and my brother is 39 we still horse around like kids we were a really close family, he shouldn’t be made to feel bad about this nor should his sister… grief has no time period and it’s only been 3 years since the father died. Which also means your SO became the man of the house when that happened his sister would of only been about 19, maybe looks at her brother for the missing father figure. He sounds like a good soiled Family men with family values and if you have issues like this already only being together for one year and a half maybe it’s just you and you should rethink the relationship. It’s not fare to make someone you love choose or put them in the middle if they don’t feel the same as you.
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Honestly, I’d show up and give them a hand myself. Teach them they don’t need a man to do everything for them 
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HE needs to say something. My MIL was the same way once we got together and hes pretty much showed her, that he has his own life an he will help her when she really needs it but for snall things that she doesnt need him for he isnt doing when we have responsibilities ourselves.
When my daddy passed 7 almost 8yrs ago I stepped up… my mom had at that point never had to do any type of work on her home… I do pretty much everything there for her… losing the love of your life is soo hard and she literally needs the help… I have been paying her phone bill since then so I know she will always have a phone… I also helped her pick up the pieces after getting scammed out of 250k… in my opinion you should be grateful he is an awesome son…awesome sons turn out to be amazing husbands… learn to love mom and sister because it will be a wonderful relationship… maybe start helping with the things that need done make it easier for everyone… he will not stop if you ask him and if he did he would resent you in the long run…
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See I’m on the fence about this because we only have your side of this situation. I have a feeling their side would sound totally different and I know somewhere between both sides the truth could be found.
- That’s his family and it seems like they’re really close. They ALL probably rely on each other.
- You said he lived with them temporarily before he moved in with you. Well how long was that temporary? Where was he living before then? Hell for all we know, he never moved away from home OR he may have fell upon hard times and had to move back home.
- You’re saying his grown 22 year old sister still lives at home. Okay, and??? Should she be thrown out on the street because she’s 22? Maybe she’s in school or maybe her mom just likes having her there for the company.
- You owned YOUR home before y’all got together which means his name is NOT on the house. But you have him doing repairs which is fine. But you have a problem with him doing repairs at a house he used to live at.
- TBH, you sound like the jealous one.
How close are you with your family?
Did he tell you that he feels as though his family is a burden or is that your words? He sounds like a really good guy and he’s probably NOT going to stop being there for his family so if you don’t like the situation, maybe you should remove yourself. You are right about one thing, trying to change who he is will definitely drive a wedge in between you to.
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If he doesn’t mind it, then it really doesn’t matter. As for him paying for their stuff, you control that unless y’all have a joint bank account, or he’s not paying his half of the bills. You can’t make him stop helping out if he doesn’t see it as a problem.
So you’re in a relationship and he still technically lives at home with legitimate responsibilities to his family, you should be helping support him in that aspect, not him abandoning them for you. Do you want him to just be the man of your house and do your work around the house? Sounds a bit like you’re the jealous and insecure one tbh. If you want to marry him? Maybe you should accept his family as yours and help them out too, they just lost their Dad/Man of the house. What’s the rush? Your biological clock will survive.
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It sounds like you are trying to isolate him from his family. You are trying to be in control. Thats a bad sign of a toxic relationship. You will be more of the problem in your marriage. Its ok if he helps his mom out. His sister is still young so of course shes going to horseplay and try to have fun with her brother. After all he moved out, they grew up together and he is all she has to look up to and spend time with. Your fiances father is gone. They still need time to adjust to that and they only have each other. As long as your future husband is helping pay the bills and things you need in your home and you are up to date, you shouldnt worry about him helping his mom sometimes financially. After all, she raised him and even after him being old enough to get his own place, his mom still gave him a home. Their relationship is their business not yours. You can set boundaries though to tell him how you feel. But dont try to keep him from the only family he has. You sound like you are selfish. And thats a bad way to be. You will only push him away. Sounds like you may be a little jealous at the relationship he has with his mother and sister. Maybe you dont have what he has with your own family so it bothers you. Just watch yourself. You have a good man, a family man. He puts his family first. Im sure when you have kids with him, he will then adjust and put them first before his mother and sister due to how much it costs to raise kids. Good luck.
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Don’t listen to these negative Women some clearly seem to think their son should do everything yuck he is not the man of their house The sister and mother seem lazy oh poor women can’t hang a picture ! And now a lawn sounds more like the dad didn’t set them up properly for life without a man and now expect him to cater and pay for everything
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I have this issue also, but it’s my bio mom (54) and brother (31) that depend on me. Both live in my home with my husband and I and it drives my husband nuts how much they ask for help. It’s not so easy to tell the people you love that you can’t help every step of the way. Hope it works out for you!
Walk it won’t get better.helping mom once in a while ok,sis get a job you are still home do you need to wake up n pay for half of the work.son it’s hard for you.but slow down,tell mom sis needs to help.