So my oldest little guy is 5 years old he just asked me the other day why his friends grandma always has him on the weekends and why his own grandparents or family never asks for him it effing broke my heart and it’s pissing me off because all the other grandparents see the other grandkids often enough my child is noticing I refuse to ask for people to take my kids if they really don’t even care to see them or for my kids to grow up not feeling good enough how do I handle this when I don’t think they will even care if I mention it?
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Stop caring what they think…ask them…straight up. Why dont u help out w my kid… n only others ? Tell them his feelings are hurt n support from them is nice…but not expected 
if they get angry…you have your answer.
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Soo…instead of being an adult and addressing the situation with the grandparents…you are going to play the let them come to us game? Have you even tried communicating with the grandparents…who I am assuming half of them are your parents too? Be a grown up and mention it. Maybe you have offended them or made them feel unwelcome and not good enough.
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You tell your kid the truth. You say “I understand that you are sad about this, let’s do something together”
You acknowledge how they feel, you explain that you cannot force relationships and that your child is better off for not knowing them (but in a more sensitive way) and then you move forward and do something with your kid to further seal the mother/child bond
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U explain all family’s are different and are made up of different people…I always wanted aunts and uncles and cousins but my mom was a single parent and an only child it just wasnt gonna happen lol…you just have to do the things with ur children that grandparents do…sorta like a yes day but less yes lol if that makes sense…or maybe have someone who is close to them help fill that role and have honorary grandparents.
Accept it don’t care and keep yourself happy. Focus only on things that make you happy not things you can’t change. Everyone’s life is so vastly different don’t fret live happy
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Have you asked them? Maybe they think your being bitchy by not bring by them over.
Ask the grandparents 
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This is really hard but I personally don’t think you should listen to anyone here on this I cut my family off but that was the straw that broke the camels back more or less so it’s really the big picture my kids were 100 percent treated differently and they were very little and noticed so I said Nope the one child still visits them occasionally just no where near as much
I love having my grandchildren but sometimes I’m busy and don’t think to ask if they can come over. Have you tried asking the grandparents when your kids could come to stay?
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Because parents that ship their kids off to Grandma’s every weekend are bad parents. There, I said it.
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Life happens I too had to suck it up about the unfairness I grew up with…
They would love it if you communicate you don’t need to leave kids yr child is bright my kids do this being a single mum all my life grand parents weren’t upto having them overnight but I do I’m a hands on grandma now my mum wasn’t be honest and do what you can do let kids communicate
This is a good time to teach your child. Life isn’t fair. Not everyone gets a trophy. Not everyone gets sleepovers with grandparents. Poor baby, I have a 5yo too. Use this situation to let them know.
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I would stop caring what they think. I would ask them straight up why they don’t take my kid. I would tell them that they are upsetting my kid. If they don’t want to take him, they are missing out on seeing him grow up. I would also take my kid and do something fun with him.
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As much as grandparents have a bigger responsibility in their relationship with their grandchildren, the grandchildren and parents have a role to play too. So do you and your son put effort into that relationship like making calls and being helpful occasionally?
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Start by making sure your son knows , it isn’t his fault , then tell him the truth.
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You tell him that if an adult such as a grandparent, aunties, uncles or cousins want to be involved in his life that is not an option is a privilege!!! And if they don’t want to be in his life is their lost, you love that baby with all your mighty power and make sure he feels so loved he never has to question that again!!!
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I’m assuming that there is a torn relationship between you an your own parents or this wouldn’t be an issue. Just be honest with your son about things. Even if he is 5 he still will get the basics of what’s going on. An yes have a conversation with the grandparents and get yours an your sons feelings out to them. If they don’t respond still even after you talk with them then you walk away from them. I can say my in laws were not big on doing anything with my kids until my husband had said something to them bc they had upset him with how they were behaving. By this point they had moved to Florida and put a 14 hr gap between us an them. Since they have been in Florida though they’ve realized that none of their kids are coming to them bc of the amount of effort it takes for them to travel there with their kids. So they now make the effort to make contact with us.
My daughter asks me why her grandfather forgot about her and her siblings constantly, I completely understand and it’s hard to find a reason to give them when they deserve one 
Sorry no real advice but we are going through the same thing
When I was little my grandparents lived out of state so I would never see them and was upset. my mom would play grandma, I would pack a bag so outside and ring the doorbell and my mom “grandma” would make the evening special by playing board games, baking cookies and did nothing but focus on me for the evening. I not only have good memories from that, but I grew only needing her in my life and not concerning myself on if I had grandparents in my life! just food for thought to turn a negative into a positive
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You tell the truth. You don’t know why. But we can ask them. Then do just that.
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First- how is your relationship with his grandparents (both sides). Second- have you communicated with them that he would love to spend time with them. Don’t assume they don’t want too unless that’s what has been said. My grandparents (dads side) loves us but there were very keep to self people. They never wanted to intrude, especially since my parents weren’t together. After speaking with them, have a conversation with your son.
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Quit ‘second-guessing’ other people. Your not in their head! Your short changing everyone around by not knowing the answer to this. Talk to the grandparents. Ask if they’d like to have bonus time with their grandson, by having him over for weekends once in awhile. Let them know that he has asked to have time with them. He feels that his grandparents and him aren’t spending enough time together. If they are retired, or can fit his sleep-overs into their busy (or work) schedule, that’d be awesome. I bet they would find a way. But they probably feel they ‘can’t, nor won’t’ ask, unless you point it out to them.
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I have a narcissistic step mother who heavily favored her own kids children than ‘the others’ she plays the part of the loving grandmother so the public dotes on her since image is everything to ppl like that. But shes never seen the kids out side of Christmas and has 0 involvement in theor lives …I’d put it on me when the kids were younger “it’s not a situation I’m comfortable with”
Etc etc
Now they are older I can be more truthful and instead of me taking the blame you can literally see the realization hit them and they are able to put together that it’s a situation they simply don’t want to be involved in
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Not to be hateful (really I’m not)
But there’s all kinds of posts FILLED with parents wanting grandparents to step back “stay in their lane” wanting them to “wait to be invited”
Then you get these posts…where parents won’t ask or invite the grandparents and want the grandparents to make all the effort.
The thing is? It CANT be both ways.
Maybe they’re trying not to overstep especially if at any point earlier on you communicated that you only wanted them involved on your terms.
But…just to build on that:
Some kids go to their grandparents every weekend… Because parents have to work and daycares aren’t open on weekends.
Or some kids go to their grandparents every weekend because the parents only want to be parents part of the time.
There’s all kinds of reasons a child might go to their grandparents a lot.
And because those reasons are delicate I definitely wouldn’t be so blunt with your child but as an adult? You should know that.
My oldest was almost ALWAYS with my mom/grandma/aunt when he was 1/2/3.
Because I was working once I switched to being a stay at home parent he stopped going over nearly as much.
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Be completely honest; explain it in an age appropriate way
Well, as he is only 5 … you have to put some effort into them having a relationship with anyone.
If you have a hostile relationship with the the family and it bothers you for your children, then mend and/or repair whatever you can, so moving forward you are involved with them, and they are involved with your kids.
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Going through the same thing but my oldest who’s 5 and a half, asks why his own daddy doesn’t get him much and cried telling me he’s not special enough for his daddy and his daddy cares more about hunting and his friends and that daddy never wants to spend time with him… My heart broke into a million freaking pieces and I cried with him… I even called his dad once he fell asleep and told him what my baby said. Told me I was just trying to argue for expressing to him how our son felt. Go figure.
Also my two younger ones get left out from grandparents as well while the other grandkids get all their time and attention. It hurts my heart for them but they’re only 1 and 4 months old right now so luckily THEY don’t understand yet but there will be a time when they do start noticing that their cousins get a lot of time with their grandparents but they don’t. It pisses me off to no end because these are my babies and as a mom to see your baby left out, it kills you inside and you just want EVERYONE to love your babies the way you do. It should never be favoritism or only getting kids when it’s convenient… Show love now and show them you WANT to spend time with them or don’t cry when the child gets older and you finally do want them around but they no longer want anything to do with you. No baby or child should go through this, EVER!
You may be reading into it to much…
The friends grandma might have to because the parent(s) work to much.
Maybe because grandma is alone she needs the company to help her.
Maybe grandma lives close enough that she can take the kid every weekend.
There’s lots of possibilities. An it’s not your parents fault they don’t take their grandkid.
Maybe he doesn’t listen well when there.?
Maybe your parents are older then the friends grandma?
My mom doesn’t take any of the kids really over night. My stepdad gets easily frustrated. An then grumpy. Because the kids are still little they don’t really focus easily.
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If your parents are capable why not ask them to take him for the weekend from time to time?
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Interesting why aren’t your parents involved with the child? Asking because usually the parents of the mother will be more involved with the grandbaby
But you have non of the grandparents involved. Maybe something you did or said that made them back off.
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I went through the same thing when my kids were small. My parents & hubby’s parents wanted nothing to do with our kids. My parents would take my sister’s kids on vacation & have them over all the time. There’s not a lot you can say. I refused to make up excuses. I just kept them busy enough that they didn’t worry about it. Now that my children are adults they don’t really have anything to do with any of their grandparents.
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Comparison is the killer of joy. Some ppl have green cars… you don’t…
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Your not the only mama both my husband and my parents at all divorced and remarried so my children should 8 grandparents…, but as of now they only have my mother and stepfather as grand parents. The rest had to be kicked to the curb because of bad choices they chose, weather it was a constant in and out of the kids lives, making bad choices that affected my children all the way to not falling my directions with my children and telling my kids that they not my children had to follow my rules while I wasn’t home which caused them not to listen to me when I was home or they being favored. With all that being said I’m glad they are not in my children lives and as they get older 13,8,5,5 they now understand and remember things from before to the point where they are glad to have the grandparents out. The best thing I can say is tell him the truth and let him know that it has nothing to do with him or anything he did. Stay strong 
Coming from me being a Gaga 24/7 because my daughter and grandbabies live with me I could not imagine not seeing their little faces everyday!! I would give my life in a heartbeat for my grandbabies so I can’t imagine going forever without seeing them
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Maybe it’s a good thing… especially if they never ask for him to come over…how would they treat him if he did come…food for thought
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My baby goes thru this too. It’s heart breaking.
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It sounds like you have a lot of family issues and it is probably best your child is away from it all. Just tell him all families are different and that is just how his friends family is, don’t mention your family issues to him
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What a shame. I love having my grands
I’d just be kid friendly honest with him. Tell him every family is different and reassure him it isn’t his fault, he has done nothing wrong and they’re the ones missing out by not seeing him as often as his friends grandparents see them.
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It is YOUR JOB to foster a relationship between your children & their family.
It is NOT a one way street to you & you are not the only person with “responsibility” because you have kids.
If you cannot be bothered why in the world should they? I’m betting the other grandkids get taken to grandparents quite often & THAT is why there is a bond 
If you want or need help, or bonding then you need to be willing to give your time & effort as well. #FactsOfLife
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You don’t have to ask them to take your kid for the weekend. I have 5 kids and my oldest is 19, my parents have never taken my kids for the weekend. You could just invite them over for supper or something. Or maybe plan an outing and invite them.
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I’ve been dealing with this for 17 years and I have to say, it doesn’t get easier. It’s still devastating. Sorry to hear you and you’re child are going through that.
My wife and I felt with that with my step daughter her dad got heavy into drugs when she was 8 and as soon as he was out of the picture they would only contact us every once in a while to see her and would always expect us to drop her off and pick her up and when we told them they need to start helping with the drive they would just say it was too far, we would even go as far as contacting them to try and set up time for her to go there and they would just never respond or they were to busy and she would always ask why they don’t want to see her any more it was heart breaking. It’s now 4 year later and she is 12 dads in prison till she turns 18 and she finally decided to tell them how she felt and she just doesn’t want them in her life any more because it’s always drama with them any time she did go there. Some people just suck
My wife and I dealt with that with my step daughter her dad got heavy into drugs when she was 8 and as soon as he was out of the picture they would only contact us every once in a while to see her and would always expect us to drop her off and pick her up and when we told them they need to start helping with the drive they would just say it was too far, we would even go as far as contacting them to try and set up time for her to go there and they would just never respond or they were to busy and she would always ask why they don’t want to see her any more it was heart breaking. It’s now 4 year later and she is 12 her dads in prison till she turns 18 and she finally decided to tell them how she felt and she just doesn’t want them in her life any more because it’s always drama with them any time she did go there. Some people just suck. It was so messed up hearing her ask why she isn’t good enough for them to want to spend time with her
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I can understand how you feel. My grandmothers weren’t in my life most of the time and my mother hasn’t been in my 4 kids’ life much. It broke my heart too many times. I swore I would never be that kind of grandma and I see my granddaughter 3 days a week!! 
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I kind of feel this. My kid’s grandparents are too far away to see their grandbabies often, and I worry it hurts my kids. I just keep reminding myself that my folks have cars. The kids are loved, they know the grandparents love them. It is not on me to ask for more of their time.
Put your child in a sport or activity…soccer for example. He will have a game every weekend and you could invite the grands to come as well as any other supportive friends or family you have in his life. If they choose not to go it’s on them but your child will have his coach, team mates, and other parents at the least all cheering him on. It’ll be great for his self esteem 
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My son is 4. My mom has seen him 1x
Explain diversity. There is no perfect model of a family. Yours consists of whatever members it has, and the love and quality time should be what matters❤️
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So sad… be Honest they can understand
My kids have grown up with their grandparents often there is not a day that my daughter can’t see her grandmother
My babies are in the same boat. it’s hard. But I’m not going to force anyone, that’s their loss and when they’re older they’ll know who was there for them.
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It’s a two way street and you both have to make effort to have them be a part of their lives. Just because you aren’t going “to force” them to be apart of their lives, doesn’t mean you get to expect them to do all the work. Give them a call, “My son would love to see you guys, do you have any free time anytime soon?”
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My child does this over her Dad x
My husband’s parents don’t take my kids often, they haven’t seen them since March and my 4 year old daughter has noticed this… BUT… I still ask my mother in law (usually knowing thr answer) if the girls can come over. The reason I reach out is because my children shouldn’t have to suffer a missed opportunity if they were to say yes. I don’t believe that they don’t want to see my kids but I acknowledge they are getting older and they have 8 grandkids so it’s probably easier to take none versus picking or taking all… its a really hard thing to go through for us and our kids.
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Just tell him every family is different- that understanding will come in handy for lots of scenarios
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Tell him to ask them. Make them feel the guilt
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Feels mama - my baby is 4 and he is constantly saying things like “mama where’s my Nan” & “that’s my nan aye mama”
Honestly brings me too tears everytime and I have to walk out of the room. It sucks shtblls
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Just be honest, use a simple language that he can understand
When I was growing up, my dad was military. We moved around a lot, and rarely got to see extended family. When my kids were growing up, the grandparents lived out of state … in two different states, so they rarely got to spend time with extended family. Now that I’m a grandparent, I live for the visits with my grandbabies! 4 of them live a couple of blocks away, so I see them all the time … but 2 others live out of town, and I only get to see them a couple weekends a month … if that. But I lovey grandbabies!! I love spending time with them! I am disabled, so I’m not able to get out and go do stuff with them, but I’m always here for them if they want, or need, to come over. As a child that missed out on getting to know my grandparents, I know how it feels to not have the opportunity … and I think you should make the effort to take your child to visit the grandparents. If they don’t want to keep him all weekend, that’s fine … take him and spend time with them together for the day. Even a couple of hours. They are missing out, and so is he. Kids are only little for awhile.
Invite them to your house on a weekend for an afternoon barbeque.
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I’m so sorry. Must be so hurtful! I come from a dysfunctional family, dad abandoned me at 3 years, have 3 half siblings and my mom was a mess. All you can do is let him know you’ll always have his back and don’t know why some adults make such bad choices. 
So sad , I’ll be there grand parents.
Oh honey. I think its time to sit him down and explain what priorities are and what it means when this behavior happens. Dont make excuses for family. Tell him the truth.