How can I teach my 5-year-old that he cannot kiss everyone?

So my 5 year old son has ALWAYS been a very affectionate kid. He loves to cuddle, give hugs, give kisses, and is always quick to be a nurturer. Even while he sleeps he holds me tight all night. Before he started preschool at age 3 I noticed that he would get very close with little kids at playgrounds and try to hug and kiss them. I would stop him and show him to ask first, but hug only. We practiced this frequently because I can just see his urge to hug everyone. Well he is ending his last year in preschool and heading to kindergarten soon. Today the director of his preschool told me that my son has basically a cult of little girls who follow him around like puppies and yesterday he started to kiss all of them. She said they noticed he does ask first and they all say yes but that I need to talk to him about it. So of course me and him had a long conversation about how he did a great job asking first but for now on to only ask for hugs. I explained to him that right now kisses are for mom, dad, and grandma only. I explained that kissing lots of people can make him really sick and also them really sick. I told him that kisses are very very special and we must save our kisses for very very special people in our lives and not hand them away so freely. That’s why me and daddy kiss each other and no one else. He understood but I know I will be reminding him often as time goes on. My question is am I dealing with this correctly? Has anyone else had a super affectionate child? If so, how have you handled nurturing their affection while also giving them healthy boundary skills?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I teach my 5-year-old that he cannot kiss everyone?

I don’t have advice but that sounds like such a sweet little boy and I think you handled that conversation beautifully.

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I think you are handling it very well! It’s so sweet that he wants to love everyone! just keep reminding him.

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Honestly sounds like you are doing this the best way :heart_eyes:

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I really don’t think you need advice, I think you got it handled :thinking: Good job mommy :clap:

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“Kisses are for mommy and daddy! How about we give our friend a high five?” We used this a lot when I taught preschool. After a lot of repeating they just naturally do it on their own.

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Sounds like you handled it perfectly. Good for you, Mama.

I find it sad that we stifle children’s affectionate nature. Unfortunately, you are right and are handling it correctly. I’m still sad

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Sweetie, you don’t need any advice. You are handling it beautifully! 🫶🏻 you will obviously have to continuously remind him. Just like everything else we teach our children. But I think you’re doing a fantastic job and you should be very proud! A+ momma. You got this! :heart: he’ll catch on eventually :relaxed:

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What a sweet boy. :heart:

Your doing a good job! And the world needs more of his kind​:heart::face_holding_back_tears:

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I still can’t get my son to stop and he’s almost 6 :woman_facepalming:t2:

Maybe come up with some fun things he can do instead of kissing. High five, fist bump, pinky promise, hand shake, lay some skin etc. Or a cool (easy) handshake he can teach his friends
He sounds like such a sweet boy and you’re doing a great job.

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You’re doing great momma! Handled very well.

You handled it great! You could also say well you’ve got to save all those kisses when you have a girlfriend and wife. That’s what daddy did!

If he’s allowed to watch tv and is good at following along there are tons of funny cartoon videos about how germs are spread ! This one is particularly funny!

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It’s quite normal for kids to do that

My 12 yr old and her besties
Hug each other when they see each other and when they say good bye to each other

Perfectly said. Well done mumma

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Find a picture on the internet of a kid with gross lips and tell him that’s what happens when you kiss too many ppl.
It worked well for me with anything I performed want my kids to do‼️

I think you did a great job with that.

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Sounds like your kiddo knows that love, and showing love is important. You got a good one :heart:

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Awwww…there will be parents out there with…pushers, shovers, hitters, biters, spitters, hair pullers, nose pickers, nail biters, swearers…who will all be wishing they had a nice gentle ‘hugger and kisser’…
But of course any ‘socially inappropriate’ form of touching comes with its own set of issues … talking about the safe things like only ‘special people’, the ‘health aspects’ and the ‘asking permission’ have all been very sensible parenting. He is obviously an affectionate wee man…maybe add in he could 'use his words" to say kind and nice things because ‘everyone has to be careful’ about ‘too much hugging and kissing’…really a sad indictment on society that we have to have these conversations over ‘exceptional gentleness’!!!
Good luck…

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I think you are handling it correctly , but the thing is that for him his friends are “ special people “ as well , I think that you should talk / teach him other ways to show affection, like high fives, handshake or even a smile , teach him about people personal spaces, and that not everyone likes to be kiss / touch .
What a sad and dangerous world we are living that we have to teach our kids about contain their emotions

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You did perfectly! :heartpulse: pretty soon though, hugs won’t be acceptable, pda. Which is very sad! (You are doing great, especially, since he’s not afraid to hug people! He definitely learned from mommy and daddy!)

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I agree with Amanda Humber. Teach him that while kissing is only for special people, he can still high five, fist bump, hand shake, lay some skin, or invent his own special handshake. Great idea, Amanda!

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I think you are handling it very well!
We had to teach our oldest two daughters the same thing.
I’m still trying to explain consent and asking before touching people to my 5 year old. Since not everyone likes to be touched or hugged.
We’re trying to teach the 3 year old too.
They’ve had people back away before, and I told them it’s not them being mean. Not everyone likes hugs or being touched. Especially if they don’t know you well. Or they just don’t like being touched.
It’s also not okay to touch anyone’s hair without permission. My 5 year old has started asking before touching my hair. So that’s a start. I don’t want her going up to strangers and touching their hair because she thinks it’s pretty.
My 3 year old son has long curly hair, and hates it when people touch his hair. He will scream like a banshee if someone touches his hair. He will let me sometimes, but I ask first and let him know that I’m just brushing it. He plays with his own hair when he’s tired or calming down, and he also plays with my hair when it’s nap time and bedtime. It’s comforting and calming to him.

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Same as everyone else mama, sounds like you handled in a loving and kind way.

So well done mama. You handled this beautifully.

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Encourage a hi 5 and a pat on the arm maybe?

You are doing a great job!

Great job , it’s hard to find that just right place where he can still be his wonderful self and what’s socially acceptable.

Girl, You handled that Great! You a Great Mom! Your Son is Awesome!

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You are doing a great job. Pretty soon girls will be yucky anyway!

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I would teach him about germs. I think storybots has a cute video on it. Your doing awesome imo :clap:

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Mama, I think you handled it perfectly

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You’re doing a great job

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What you have explained sounds great. It will be a process. It’s terrible that we have to “undo” all the wonderful instincts our children are born with but understandable at the same time. He sounds like a sweetheart!

Have you explained “personal space”? Getting too close is getting into someone’s personal space and others don’t belong in his space as well.

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Sounds like you have this under control, just have gentle reminders your doing great

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You got a little charmer.
Great job. Your doing exactly as I did with mine. Just keep on the germ free idea and he’ll do ok. Also you may want to include respecting them as well. When my husband went to pick up our daughter from kindergarten a little bit went to help her put her coat on. He never hugged her or anything else. My husband was so mad. I thought it funny but he was truly angry. Let him know that their parents may not appreciate it even though they say yes. It’s best to honor their personal space. God bless.

I think u did great and u were able to tell him the truth. That kissy, huggy behavior doesn’t last nearly long enough!

You did wonderful. My 3 year old is the old man in town and has to run up to everyone. Always says good morning to every stranger. 9/10 he will spark up a conversation. We hike and go to the beach and stuff alot and honestly it’s been heart warming. People have given him fishing gear, disk golf gear and more. He doesn’t kiss but doesn’t understand personal space and property.

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You handled it beautifully, Mommy!

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It sounds like you are doing an amazing job! My four year old loved to give kisses out, too, and I pretty much said the same thing to her.

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at least your son’s affectionate and caring, my son who is 7 years old likes to try and hit everyone with his school bag and thinks he’s being friendly and playing around :woman_facepalming:t2::woozy_face: good on you mama, keep doing you. you are doing an amazing job with your son :relaxed:

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He’s a lover, not a fighter. That’s so endearing.

You are a wonderful mother with a sweet little soul for a son.

sounds like you’re doing pretty good at handling the situation. I work in childcare & at my centre there is a very affectionate boy, 3yrs old, who is also always touchin on, trying to hug & kiss all the other kids. We do what you’ve said you’re doing & each time just remind him “You have to ASK someone before you touch them! They are allowed to say No.” as for the whole, they’re all saying Yes thing, I think you’re doing well. We also tell the kids “No kissing here! That’s how we get sick & spread germs :microbe:
Like you said, he’ll need repetitive reminders because he is a kid. Just stay on it with positive reinforcement

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It’s usually a phase

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You are handling it perfectly. Any other way would break his spirit.

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He is in preschool and has a cult

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I think you did a great job explaining to him. And just like you said you may have to remind him and that’s okay.

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Great job mom…you’re doing great…

You explained it perfectly. My son has Down syndrome and is a hugger. This may be cute when he’s younger but if we didn’t correct it now, could lead to sexual harassment issues later in life (yes, it really happens). You’re doing a great job.

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Keep reminding him. :hugs: Speak with his teacher & ask her to remind him too. He’ll be fine. :black_heart:

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You said it perfect trying to explain to him what a wonderful little boy you have bless he can give me hug and kiss anyday .

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Awe! What a sweet boy :two_hearts:

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I understand the problem and I think you are handling it great but it’s super cute too. A five year old with a cult of girls chasing him how cute is that?

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In our culture hugs , full arm shakes and shoulder touch (Native/Mexican) are common. You are doing an excellent job with your lil’ guy. You can tell he’s loved . :wink:

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I think you did an amazing job! :black_heart:

Great job and I love the way you worded things to him :heart: absolutely :100: spot on! Keep up the awesomeness :ok_hand: :clap: xxx

U are doing a great job.

You’re doing great explaining to him :heart::sunglasses:

Good job mom. A kid with true feelings and now learning boundaries

You did an awsome job explaining it to him. And you will probably will be reminding him time and again. You did a great job.

You did an awesome job explaining that to him. And yes you will have to keep reminding him, but it won’t be long before he catches on.

Well don’t kids learn from example?
Just saying
Sorry I’m advance

I was this way as a child, my momma said a similar thing to me and by kindergarten I knew kisses were meant for family and loved ones. Don’t give up hope! It takes a few tries, also I got mono from it too so that also scared me out of doing it ever again :joy::skull: