I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he’s such a social bird he loves talking to new people, saying hi and what not and it really makes me uneasy. He loves books and really catches on that way - so I want to try a new approach… so if any of you mamas know of any good books for a three year old to teach about strangers … please send them my way!
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My daughter was the same at that age. She even once tried to hug a complete stranger because he had a Sonic shirt on and she loves Sonic 
I don’t have any book ideas, but she isn’t quite as bad now at 5 if that’s any reassurance for you.
John Walsh from America’s most wanted did a great video i used in my 1st grade class for 6 years. Its called the safe side stranger safety and is on youtube.
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I say watch an educational program with him. If he sees how dangerous it can be maybe he’ll be a bit more cautious.
I told my children we can smile and say hello to be polite. But we do not tell strangers about us. They are 7 and 4 now though.
Make a book for him <3 create a senario and have a plot… we have 1 rule my son doesnt understand stranger danger so if a stranger stares at him he is too scream mommy smiling etc only thing that works
My girl is the same way, for the most part kids have an uncanny ability to recognize when someone might be untrustworthy. I wouldn’t try to stop him from being a social butterfly, but definitely keep him within arms reach.
Ok so I might get people mad at me but my 3 year old did that and I finally had to have one of my friends that he DID NOT KNOW grab him at Walmart and walk away with him. She told him that he would never see me again and the he was very bad for going with a stranger and that she was goin to be his NEW mom. He has never done it again and he is 7
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Bernstein bears has a good book on stranger danger I’m not sure what it’s called tho
Stranger danger is a serious thing…and should be discussed. Family passwords should be instilled at a very early age. Unfortunately, the truth is, if someone is determined to get your kid, they don’t have to go willingly. IMHO, stranger danger is a small percentage of the problem, though.
The FBI has since admitted that their “Stranger Danger” stance was detrimental because, they had kids thinking predators were “strangers” in trench coats hiding behind trees…
the true danger, 98% of the time, comes more from ppl they KNOW. Probably ppl you trust…uncle’s, friends of the family, unfortunately, even grandfathers…
Focus more on talking to them about bad touching. Telling you about it no matter who it is.
Do not force your kids to hug or kiss ppl they don’t want to …
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I don’t know if Bernstain Bears would be too advanced but there’s one on stranger danger that I remember reading as a kid. The Berenstain Bears learn about strangers.
Teach about tricky people. Someone’s not a stranger once they introduce themselves. Especially nowadays since kids have names on backpacks and such
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Someone else mentioned the Berenstain Bears book, it’s called The Berenstain Bears Learn About Strangers. I recommend that book to teach small children about stranger danger. There’s also other books for stranger danger on Amazon. Or if you have a local library, you can see if they have any children’s books on the subject.
Check your local library, I’m sure they could show you a few books that they have .
Teach him about stranger danger but more about inappropriate touching, no secrets from mom and dad, etc. He is more at risk from family and friends than he is a stranger. Also, who is a stranger? That can get very complicated.
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I love this approach. Strangers can be dangerous but its more often people that we know and least suspect. NCMEC also have great tips on their website.
My 4 year old loves pantosaurus song!
Can get an activity pack from NSPCC!
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Try telling him. Mommy an Daddy dnt kno him so he isn’t safe to tlk to our Granddaughter is the same way
I think it’s not exactly “stranger danger” as it may just be a stranger that helps in situations… Like another parent at a park, a shop assistant etc. It’s more teaching your children to be aware & what to do in certain situations… Like calling you before going with someone… Even if the child knows them… Going into a store to ask to call you if they are walking home & feel unsafe etc. And general talks about trusting all people isn’t exactly safe, the situations some people might put you in & how to be safer etc.
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When i see a cute little toddler, sometimes i will have a conversation with him and his parents. Please dont judge me
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You can teach them and you should teach them but ultimately at 4yrs old they will rely on an adult to keep them safe from strangers.
You should come up with a “code word” for your family. That way if anyone ever tries to claim, mommy and daddy sent me to pick you up, they can ask what the code word is. My family has one, and all my kids know what it means
My oldest daughter used to run from me in the store when she was a toddler finally I just told her when she was running and I was carrying her infant sister right after coming home from the hospital and could not chase her very well and I blurted out “someone bad might get you” she stopped in her tracks and just looked at me wide-eyed then she ran to me she never ran from me again! Just tell them the truth.
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I was concerned about this but my son ended up absolutely terrified of people at the age of 6 months old. He still doesn’t like people and he’s almost 7. He deals with kids his own age with glee and deals with teachers because he has to.
My mom & I had a code word and to always look for a cashier, teacher or a police officer. She told me to trust my gut and if something didn’t feel right to find a way to run.
I think code words are good but I’ll be honest with you…min this day and age I periodically sit my two kids down (6 and 4) and flat out tell them that if they run off or if someone tells them to come with them that that person could be extremely bad. I tell them they could get snatched up, hurt or even worse and they’d never see mommy again. I tell them it happens to other little kids all the time and they must always listen. Is it scary? Hell yeah. But I’d rather they be scared than dead.
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When it comes to toddlers your best bet is to never take your eyes off of them. They just don’t understand it very well at that age. As they get older instead of using the word stranger focus on don’t talk to people you don’t know. Often times little kids think of a stranger as someone who looks scary, which means if the person is nice or friendly they won’t think they are a stranger. In fact many bad guys will come across as really nice and maybe even fun. So I think it’s better to tell them to only talk to people you know and stay away from people they don’t know. As they get older they will start to understand better, you just have to keep telling them until they do. And don’t be afraid to scare them a little by telling them that some people can hurt them really bad, sometimes they need to here it to get it.
I have the most friendly 6yo. But from day 1 we have done stranger danger for every person she attempted to talk to that we didnt know. She grew up better able to just know a stranger talking to her without mommy or daddy was not okay. But anytime we are with her she has that hesitation and look of acknowledgment that shes ok.
My parents always told me that if anyone wanted to offer to take me home or get in their vehicle or do anything, they would know a secret code word - and if they didn’t say it, I needed to run as fast as I could to find another adult, or them, if they were close by. If one of our family friends had to pick me up from school or something, they were told the secret word and I was not to enter the vehicle until they said it. (Which at my elementary, they had to tell the teacher who they were and who they were picking up after my parents called the school and let them know beforehand)
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My son was like this too, I still struggle to keep him near me in stores because he is a wild animal lol. I was straight up with him, I told him that there are people in this world that like to steal and hurt kids, and that it’s important to stay by mommy all the time. He is getting better as time goes on, but it took a while for him to grasp the concept of what a stranger actually is. Repetition is key mama, good luck!
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Just be honest with them. One of my daughters is a social butterfly. But put them in situations and see what there response is. It worked for my kids i think. They know not to candy from strangers. They know not to help a person looking for a dog. And they know if it is not one of us or family that they sleep over at their house not to get in a car
There’s a children’s book that I read to my kids. It went through several different things, like saying no to candy and inappropriate touching. I can’t remember the name though I would have to hunt through my bookshelf to find it
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I’ve been honest to my 2 oldest for the last couple years. When rhe one was 4, I caught her walking up to vehicles and talking to people in them, she would talk to others walking down the street, sneak out of her grandmas and go play at the park. That was at age 4. I started being totally honest that there are bad people out there that steal little kids and do horrible things to them and won’t ever come home. This kid is now 6 and we are still battling some of her social butterfly tendencies, but its gotten a little better.
You can read a toddler every book on this subject but depending on their age and maturity it won’t matter.
Best advice is never let them out of your site.
I have 5 kiddos now and something happening to them has always been my worst adult fear.
It’s our job to watch over them and be their eyes and ears and voice and safety.
My kids LOVE all people and are super friendly and open but I’m always on my A game in every public scenario. All it takes is a few distracted seconds for them to wonder off and be gone forever.
Just be completely honest and tell them the truth about how theres bad people who do bad things. As scary as it is for them to hear it, they really do need to know so they arent vulnerable to those situations.
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My daughter was/is like this, she’s now 11 and honestly we have always just been truthful but age appropriate.
Constant reminder that unfortunately not everyone is nice to kids and there are bad people in the world.
I used to think the same way about my toddler… she is always so bubbly, waves and says hi… but as soon as anyone approaches, she holds on to me, or gives me a reassuring look.
So that shows me she’s still aware and looks for my reaction too.
Its just a daily talk. My 8 yr old is and has always been the same. We constantly talk about it. Everytime we leave anywhere, and just randomly throughout. My rule is and always has been. “If u can’t see me, I can’t see you. So stay where you can see me”
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I’m not sure about books, but when I was a kid my Mom use to have us watch a video about street smart kids. But what I remember the most was the serious conversations we had about what to do if separated or if I was being followed and the safe people to turn to. Your voice will always be the one your child remembers.
Not a book… But I went thru this… Now 6 and she does better… Keep a close eye on him… Nothing worked for me besides age and maturity…
Same issue with my daughter she is just 3 but iam so worried about her .
If someone speak so kind and give lolly she ll go with anyone i don’t understand what to do.
I tend to keep my kids around me all the time. And when they’re are at school Stay with teacher. It’s scary to think about.
I was honest with my kids. Told them not everyone is nice and they could get taken and hurt
I always told my daughter that if she can’t see me or I can’t see her somebody would come and take her. Shes twelve right now and she has never walked away from me when we’re out. She now teaches this to her younger cousins
Do a “circle of friends “ Middle circle is family. You can hug them etc. next circle close friends and the rules of interaction. Last circle is strangers and rules.
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The children also need a family password. No one except family knows the password and no one can pick them up without the password.
I told my daughter if she leaves my side some creepy guy/girl will take her. My mom said I was being drastic but it works she won’t even say hi to anyone without asking me first
I watched a Dr Phil show where he said the only way to really teach a child not to go with someone is to act it out with them in different scenarios.
I guess it all comes down to discipline.they either hold your hand hold onto your pocket ride in the cart . If they run off from you in the store they get a smack on the butt. You people just don’t get it you’re making them terrified of people, not all people are bad, it all comes down to day don’t get it anybody’s car they don’t take candy from people if anybody grabs them they are to scream( I don’t know this person,) bite and claw them because many of time you’re here a kid being a brat in the store crying and the parent is taking them out to the car and nobody realizes that person should not have that child so you need to teach them what to scream
If I’m not mistaken your child is more at risk by your family and friends of yours than they are of strangers.
If you are there when he talks to strangers. Make it an example moment and tell the person what your doing little Johnny doesn’t know you and im trying to teach him about strangers ect… most people will understand.
My 4 yr old just says he’ll fight the tricky people with his ninja moves no matter what I do/ say. Following
Stranger Danger is a dated phrase. The proper wording now is Tricky people. Look for people that are community helpers when you feel tricky people are trying to talk to you. Community helpers are police, grocery store workers, mail delivery people, usually a safe person is wearing a name tag or identification badge.
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usually ur attitude will give them some idea if it’s ok or not. I naturally shy away from anyone I dnt know personally so my kids do too.
You can try to explain in a way he’d understand that he should only talk to new people when mom or dad is with him
Look into “tricky people”, that’s the shift from stranger danger.
my mom used to just tell me someone would steal me and never bring me back. just be honest lmao.
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Bearenstein bears have a stranger danger book
Do what I tell my kids: “ some strangers are bad people. And they will take you from me. They won’t be nice to you like mommy and daddy are. They will hurt you and be mean to you. And you will never see mommy and daddy again. And I would cry everyday for you. If a stranger takes you, you scream and fight as hard as you can to get away.” My kids don’t go near strangers at all
Look for social stories on that topic
They will find out on there own that they cant trust everyone one bad experience will be enough to teach them sometimes you have to let them learn on there own for them to figure things out
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I had this book when my children were small you can order it on Amazon
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There is this worked for my kids!
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Teach them about “tricky people” adults who ask kids to do something they can do themselves. That is better than the child being afraid of any stranger. Also the “secret word” is an excellent idea. Both can help children stay safe.
Well in hispanic communities. When a child misbehaved we would get a warning “Keep it going and the old lady will take you”, (random old lady adds in: And i like to put the kids to clean all day I would love for you to come and help me other not reward) as a child you immediately stop what you are doing in a state of disbelief. That was my first introduction to stranger danger. Hes three bound to have a fit soon. Just tell him that: keep it up and that insert description of random person and they will take you. Normally my experience if the person catches on they add something. Its worked for my 4yr daughter
I really wish I knew what kind of advice to give you. This is a major safety dilemma. I noticed a lot of mothers are telling you about a code word. I just wish that would work all the time. But bear in mind if your child is close enough to somebody that they’re talking to each other and asking for a code word. I’m afraid that they are really too close to each other. I don’t know if showing your child the pictures of missing children on the wall add entrance to Walmart would help. Why explaining to your tablet those children apparently got too close to somebody that they should not have. 60 years ago never had this problem.
I’m not sure if toddlers are old enough to understand “stranger danger”
I love this book as well, when there’s so many pedophiles around us.