I have caught my boyfriend of 5 years playing with himself every day to girls on the internet; we have a premature baby that was very ill when in the hospital she is now just turned one and still not 100% ok. I feel so insecure about my body as it is, and this has pushed me to where I don’t even get changed or shower around him now; we have sex but not as much as we used to, but he doesn’t show me or tell me he loves me, he doesn’t even kiss me before he leaves for work. What can I do or say? It feels like he doesn’t care for me anymore; all I do is cry because all I think about is him cheating on me.
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Talk to him. Communication is everything.
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Well you need to talk to him it’s the only way he will know what’s going on you can’t just feel some type of way and not let him now exactly how you are feeling
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Your best option is to just explain how you feel. Ask him to sit down and have a serious talk with you. Tell him beforehand that you aren’t attacking him and also aren’t blaming him. You just want to communicate to see if there’s any way to fix an issue between you two. Don’t yell at him. Ask him to not yell at you either. This is obviously very hurtful to you and it needs to be addressed or it will continue to stay with you and cause issues in your relationship. Address it now. And also Decide if this is something you want in your relationship if he reacts in a bad way. If he reacts badly, it probably best to consider if that kind of behavior is worth continuing the relationship
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Literally everything you just posted. If you don’t tell them how you feel how will they know? Now if he doesn’t change it’s better to be single parent than to live a miserable life
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definately talk with him about it… it could be a mental or emotional situation about himself that he needs to work through. you wont know what’s really going on until you guys talk about it. I’m a single mom with 2 special needs teenagers and I know that alone is stressful with your daughter. I wish you all the luck in straightening this out, and know that if it doesnt work out how you have in mind that you made the effort on your end. good luck, and I wish you the best on your daughters health and happiness.
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Talk to him, but ultimately if you’re not loving yourself, it won’t matter what he does. Stay in touch with yourself and what you like, don’t get so caught up in being a new mom that you lose yourself trying to meet the expectations of others. Play your music, dance, sing… be someone you’d love to be around and then his opinion won’t matter because it’s his loss.
That’s the key, self love
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He seems addicted to porn.
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Tell him, in a calm way, how dejected you feel, that he seems to be more interested in internet porn, than you and his family. Communicate that you really love him, and want to meet his needs, and yours. Then give him a safe space to talk about his feelings. Holding your feelings in will only make you more resentful and miserable.
Believe what your gut feels girl . Ask him
Communication is key.
Also, maybe taking care of your hygiene again may improve his attraction to you?
If it’s such a hassle I’d suggest therapy or counseling for YOURSELF. You must love yourself too!
Good luck mama!
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Sounds like he’s probably addicted to porn and just you know with himself my partner had also gone through that and has taken us a lot of talking and other things to get through it it got bad to the point he’d just hide in the toilet for hours pretending to be “ crapping” just communicate consistently
Aw you poor thing. I’ve gone through this. I’ve made it clear in my now relationship that getting off to other women to me is now cheating and I don’t allow that in my relationship. I’ve set my boundaries. I can only hope they respect them. I believe porn or other things like social media with that nasty stuff, leads to a bad relationship because sex will become just sex, it will become an addiction, I believe it stops people from having good sex or sex all together. Just from my expieriences. It has ruined relationships because my boyfriend’s have chosen to lie to me about it and then eventually has made me believe it has lead to cheating. They would get off to people they know who dress half naked on social media. All that stuff. It’s sad and disgusting and I don’t like it. I hope he changes and doesn’t lie to you because I’m sure if he saw you getting off to someone super sexy, he would be upset. Just like they all would be.
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Porn is an addiction to most people and I hope you can talk to him and he communicates and understands it’s causes problems in relationships. He will get the same high every time he does that stuff and he will want more and more and that’s why it becomes so hard to quit.
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I agree with everyone who says talk communication is key to a good relationship.
But now I’m going to try to give you some body confidence. You gave birth to a baby! A perfect little baby, whatever about your body you don’t like now you need to relook at and think how amazing your body is to have made your perfect baby. Your body is beautiful and amazing and has just done the best job in the world making you a mom. Strech marks? Just proof of an amazing job well done. Flabby skin? Thats just where you kept your baby safe from harm. You are beautiful, you done something amazing, be proud and love Yourself!
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Communication is key
Get screened for post partum depression. Start therapy to work on your self esteem. You are an amazing mom that went through stress & trauma to birth your incredible baby, who requires more work than most, leading to exhaustion, anxiety and more, and now your partner is checking out on you.
Your man has an addiction that has nothing to do with you or how attractive you are (and I’m sure you are real and beautiful). It’s just like drugs are a junkie’s #1 priority or an alcoholic’s next drink all the time, and everything else kind of falls away. You have to talk to your man & encourage him to get into therapy (to address root causes) & support groups for his addiction. Can you limit sites on the home computer or change the WiFi password to limit his access?
If he can’t loosen his grip on his nasty habit, build a bigger support system and plan your exit. If he continues to disappear into porn sites he’s not there for you anyway. If he is willing to work on himself, encourage him and know he may relapse, so be prepared. Addiction is tough to break & can be a lifelong struggle. If you do separate, talk to a lawyer about conditions for custody and visitation given his addiction.
Rooting for you and know you are amazing and deserve every happiness. I hope you get the wonderful life you deserve. And congratulations on your little one! 
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You need to worry about you. Yoh need to bathe and take care of yourself. Would you want to be around someone who does not bathe or dress ?
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Communication is the key
Some of you completely read this wrong lol she’s saying she won’t get dressed or shower in front of him cause she doesn’t feel confident to be naked in front of him , not that she doesn’t shower 
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Whoa - she doesn’t need to be screened for ppd for having valid feelings about her spouse not paying her any attention.
Sweetie, have a conversation or several with him on your boundaries and about how he’s making you feel excluded and how you don’t feel like you’re being shown any affection.
Do not stay in a relationship where you aren’t even looked at anymore. You. Deserve. Better.
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Go get couples professional counseling.
Why would you trust all us strangers with such important issues?
Good luck
Have you talked to him about him maybe having some feelings of loneliness since the babies been born? NICU babies are HARD, I could barely able to think while my daughter was in NICU, I know I’d have had the hardest time sustaining a relationship during that. Then if she is still have problems a year later you’ve probably gone into mommy mode and he might feel left out. Men have feelings too. The baby needs you and is number 1 but maybe talk to him and see if you can go on a date just the two of you to rekindle things. I’m not saying you’re doing it, but it’s easy to fall into and forget to deal with the other things in your life especially under the circumstances.
Well he is cheating if he’s doing that get rid of him thats horrible and will never change
I believe that porn is cheating. It is a substitute for the real thing. It leads to secrecy, lying, etc.
I personally would give him a warning, and then the boot. If he has no interest in change ( it is an addiction) and he prefers this type of stimulation then move on. He doesn’t care about your feelings or your happiness.
Experience with this brought me to my knees, I put up with it for far too long.
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Some men have a problem after a baby comes seeing their partner as a romantic partner now and not as a mother. You need to find talk to him. And porn is not cheating. You say you are having less sex, not no sex. You are putting it all on him, but I suspect you are not being as sexy as he might like either. Without you two talking, you won’t know what the source of your issue is.
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Starting eating healthy. Exercise couple times a week since you have issues with the way you look. I try to do 20 mins a every other day. Do something you like to do. I read at least an hour a day, I play games on my phone. Find something you like to do outside of being a mom.
Talk to him. Tell him exactly how you feel. Nothing will change if he doesn’t know how you feel. Work on yourself for yourself. Do things you love and make you feel good. If talking to him doesn’t do any good maybe it’s time to leave. You deserve to be happy and feel loved.
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Just because he is looking at points doesn’t mean he is addicted to it smh
You gotta express how you feel to men they are about as dumb as a bag of rocks. I had to do the same thing and sometimes people just settle into things and it feels nothing like it did. That’s the whole part of falling back in love again. Not easy but you guys need a few date nights to relax!
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sounds like you might be in need of a date night just the two of you. Babies change relationships and sex suffers. I would recommend you try to reconnect with each other. Have a conversation without distractions and let him know that you are self-conscious of your post-baby body. He (if he is a man and not a boy) should understand that your body is incredible for what you have been through and created.
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Grow balls talk to him dont like your answers kick him out job done
So you definitely need to talk to him, sweetheart you can not sit & cry around that baby girl all the time. She runs off her mommies energy think about you & her for a min. Your two’s health is 100 percent more important then him & his Simi cheating ways. Unfortunately if he don’t have enough respect for you to not be jacking off to woman on the internet then hunny you & your lovely gift from God need to exit stage left & be blessed 
without him.
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You really need to talk to him. I felt the same and mine understood completely. He tries his best to make me feel confident and I’m trying too but him not paying attention to other girls on the internet definitely helps
Porn is not cheating. But have you even tried having sex with him more? Sounds like you are the one pulling further and further away and he’s using porn because of that.
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Honey,
I get it. I had a preemie second time around and the guilt that comes with that kills yourself image. But you need to be you. He fell in love with a sexy young carefree lady that was beautiful and confident. He feels you pulling away and not being yourself, he probably doesn’t know how to even start helping. Talk to him tell him how you feel. Find a hobby for an hour a day. And let go of your guilt. Its not your fault things ended early. But baby is here and alive and that is a gift. And happiness in itself. Work to fix and communicate in your relationship and be confident with yourself
Love yourself first and accept yourself as you are. Believe that you are enough and for your baby, you are rhe world. If your guy has porn addiction, it doesnt mean he doesnt love you, it means he doesnt love himself.
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I find nothing wrong with porn as longs as you are ok with it. My husband watches it, but it’s usually when I’m not in the mood or I’m not home. He also compliments me all the time. I’ve gained a lot of weight since having my 3 girls and he is always telling me how beautiful I am, how sexy I am, touching me as he walks by etc. My advice would be talk to him. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship. If I ever feel insecure, and I do at times, I tell him how I’m feeling and what I need from him and vice versa. We adjust to each other’s needs.
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Know your self worth and walk away. It is ur life and you are wasting it being unhappy. Why are you with him? Please don’t say cuz u love him, cuz u gotta love urself first
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It seems like you are unhappy by how much the activity has dropped and he seems to he chosing porn over it. If it was because he needed its then I’d understand. But since it’s upsetting you and you are not getting the attention you are wanting, then I consider it a problem on my opinion. He shouldn’t chose the porn over activity with you. You deserve to be acknowledged
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Talk to him. Also…treat yourself and do your hair…give yourself a facial and manicure…and get to where can look at yourself and feel beautiful and sexy. Go clothes shopping or pull out clothes you feel sexy wearing. If you feel sexy and act confident and sexy,then he will most likely notice the change. Me and my hubby look at porn together. Turn on for both of us . It isn’t cheating and doesn’t mean he is cheating or doesn’t find you sexy. Some people just like porn.Try to have romantic moments together. Drink after baby is down for a nap or in bed for the night,cuddle, watch a movie and relax together. Maybe get someone you know to watch the baby for awhile so you both can go out to dinner or something together. Reconnect. Also,don’t deny sex. May be making him feel unattractive as well as yourself and make an effort to come onto him every now and then to boost his ego. Men have the same thoughts as women at times.
Well number 1 is talk to him about how your feeling. And 2 Do things to make yourself feel better. Self confidence is sexy. Get your nails done, get dressed everyday, put on your make up (if you wear it) from time to time, get your hair done, etc. Self care is important too. Also get out for walks sunshine is good for helping with depression. And odds are he knows on some level something is wrong but doesn’t know what or how to approach it so help him to understand.
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Ultimately the happiness in yourself and your own body comes from within.
You cannot lay that happiness on anyone else.
Whether or not you like porn or looking at other people Is something that has to be communicated and compromised on in a relationship. In that situation this should have been discussed in the very beginning if it was a deal breaker.
It does not Automatically make him addicted or a horrible person because he likes porn. So do many people, half of who are women.
Also during and after pregnancy hormones can be all over the place, I would not make any life changing choices at those times.
You can’t change him or anything he does. Focus on yourself and your child. His porn addiction is his problem. It will either get worse or he will choose you. You can’t make the decision for him.