Definitely tell him in the nicest way possible about ur concerns if she was older I would understand but she’s just fine living on her own and there isn’t a need for that
Why is she moving in then… 
2 Likes
Sounds like she is lazy and wants a place to flop …hell no
1 Like
Hell no. 50s??? Dating??? No way.
1 Like
Seriously no! You will be giving up all your privacy – and time, in exchange for what?
Plus you have the added joy that if she is dating, you’ll be getting to know her next boyfriend really, really well.
Get her on POF and let her get on with it 
I think you need to start by being open with him about how you felt the first time around. Maybe set some unrealistic boundaries so that he feels awkward relaying those boundaries to her. I would worry about what it would do to your relationship, and let him know that as well. Tell him you’re afraid you would hold resentment towards them both. I would question WHY he wanted her to move in. Let him know how she was messy! You don’t need another child to clean up after.
Also.
Fuck that.
Good luck! Send an update.
I’ve seen ppl divorced for this reason…that’s a hard NO. Say as much!!!
1 Like
Man I don’t what the world has come to but she is your Husband’s mum and I feel sorry for her all the years she brought up her son shouldn’t be accounted for as y love her son love his mum too don’t know when she won’t be there anymore to irritate you. Be compassionate and be kind even if the other person isn’t. Your kids are looking at how you treat her well be careful you might end up like her one day and than they would treat you the same.
8 Likes
Then she’ll bring her dates home and expose your kids and y’all to strangers etc and other potential activities that people do when they “date” id die and flip if my kids heard grandma getting it om…
My mother lives with me right now as well and its straining…
In her 50’s??? She’s fine. Live your life and she live hers. That’s not fair to put that burden on you if it’s not absolutely needed.
4 Likes
It’s a no all the way for me! My MIL isn’t an easy person to deal with and I made it clear that before I married my husband we agreed that she would not move in with us ever…sounds harsh but she’s not a nice person towards my husband and it would be another child basically in my house and that’s a no for me
Leave that man if he wants to live with his mama 
6 Likes
Yeah no she dont need to live with you I have family in their 70s and 80 and they love alone just fine
So first of all I definitely have to say there is something not right in his head if he wants to live with his mother. Second of all she sounds like a horrible person. Expecting you do all this, when she is fully capable from the sounds of it.
I could go on and on because I’ve been in a situation VERY similar. Anyhow, tell him about the things that happened before, how you felt about it, and if you’re not okay with it then say so…if any of that makes you uncomfortable or you feel like you “can’t say that to him”, then he is not the one honey and he has got to go. You should be comfortable with your significant other and you should be able to tell him when something is upsetting you and when you don’t like something, no matter who the person is.
His mom is not moving in at all period
1 Like
I thought were talking about an elderly lady at first! In her 50’s? No no no her poor life decisions are just that, HERS. It’s not your responsibility to take care of her nor should you especially if she doesn’t contribute to the household. This will cause nothing but drama in your marriage. You should be the head of the house, not his mother and with her living there she will give unsolicited advice to your husband behind your back.
3 Likes
Make him pick between his mom and you and you’re gonna be a SAHM (single as hell mom)
Ummmm… It is his mom… Your mother in law. She did her job. Maybe I am old school but I would welcome her. Cook, clean, do whatever I could so she could finally enjoy life. One day you are going to be her and only pray that your daughter-in-law doesn’t see you as you see her
8 Likes
Are you going to get her an annexe to live in? If so that would be beneficial?
If she is going to move in then I’d draw up an agreement that she has to sign. Like house rules! If she’s gonna act like a teenager then she needs to get treated like one.
That way she knows what you expect from living together and so do you.
Yeah…this is why im single. I dont ever wanna deal with a situation like this…not insinuating, that you should be single.
1 Like
So the mom is in her 50’s so that makes the son and daughter in law is young adults actually not to long ago they both moved out of their parents house to get their lives started as grown folks…Its time for the couple to experience adulthood without the mama living with them
5 Likes
Ummmm ya need to sit the hubs down and tell him what’s up. The mom is still doing and getting around NOPE! She was using yall for a time!
1 Like
In her 50s?? No way she can live on her own
Oh hell no! Tell your man to go find a house with his mommy, cause he’s still her boy, not your man. 
2 Likes
Ummm no. You have every right to feel that way. Don’t get me wrong I would let my mother in law live with us if needed, but there would certainly be boundaries and we would need an open discussion to go over those boundaries. If she is living in your house she can certainly at the very least clean up after herself. Yes you may be a SAHM, but you have kids to take care of.
1 Like
Wow, she sounds like a disrespectful, lazy, inconsiderate person. Hold off as longs as possible
3 Likes
Hell to the NAW! See you in your 70’s maybe! My grandparents are 87 and 88 and STILL get around just fine, live on their own, ext. The aunts take turns deep cleaning their house and taking them ready-to-eat meals but my grandparents are still 85% independent. 50’s??? Yeahhhhhh no way.
Buggur that i would not have that nor would i have her living with me she sounds indeopendant and fine so why does she need to why should u look after ur partners mum u have ur kids to look after and she sounds lazy i wouldnt have it put ur foot down and tell ur partner shes not moving in its clearly going to make u stresed and unhappy so u need to be honest
If she is in her 50s and is just fine there is no reason she needs to be living with you. I woukd tell your husband what you said here. Why is he thinking his mom needs to move in anyway?
Don’t let her move in. He sounds like a real mama’s boy to let that happen. She’s capable of taking care of herself, let her visit. Draw the line
2 Likes
Hon, you need to tell all of this to your husband, again! Remind him what happened last time and that you are not the proverbial HOST for his or your family. Your MIL will act the same way as last time with no changes. I’m not sure why a rental verses buying a house makes you think there will be a difference. Maybe this was a quick solution you came up with to keep from arguing with your husband about it, but if you really don’t want her living with you then do not invite her in. Period. Unless you’re lucky enough to find a place that has a MIL suite away from the house, I would begin laying the ground work telling your hubby you are not comfortable with the idea of her living with any longer. #MIL2.0
1 Like
Coming from someone who had their MIL live w them on numerous occasions. It ends bad. My MIL is in her 50s she lived w us 2 times. Hasn’t worked since the early 90s expected us to buy her cig and pop feed her provide her w her essentials never cleaned it was awful. The first time we kicked her out. It caused so much tension w me and my man cause it’s his mom and he’s a people pleaser. The second time the kids and I moved out. He finally kicked her out cause he was spending more time at my place than his and renting 2 places was a lot. But just be honest. He can get mad. But having people live w you is too much!
Hell to the no. She’s capable of taking care of herself
1 Like
I had several different responses typed up. Deleted them all. This comes from experience. Set your boundaries and your rules now!! What expectations you have and your hubby needs to be on the same page. I’m sorry. Nothing good has ever come to having mom move in. The other partner always feels “outed” or dumped on. There are the rare occasions that it works. Or so I’ve heard.
Don’t let her move in. My mother in law moved in with us and it damn near ruined my marriage. She was lazy and I had to clean up after her. I left my husband for a time and told him I wasn’t coming back until she moved out.
Oh hell no! Would never happen
No reason for her to move in , wtf I would not allow it especially if you have had issues in the past and she’s messy ? Eww no way .
Wow. Here are yall saying hell no. I am building my home around my mom and in laws living with us in the future. I cant wait. We see them 5 out of 7 days a week now. We take them food. Just because we feel it’s our time to take care of them. They are all retired this year.
Not right in my opinion , you will be very miserable for a long time , given how you feel now aswell , not good , what a situation your in , feel for you x
Nooooo ways
Trust me.
She can take care of herself. Tell him no. If she can date and go out she’s capable of being on her own. Stand your ground. He’s a mommas boy.
1 Like
I would suggest that you get a place with a mother-in-law suite and she could live there. There is no house big enough for two families. I can understand both views. Maybe get a condo let her live in one side and your family in the other. This way she is close by if he wants to check on her ect she is right next door. This way you are not cooking and cleaning up after her too. I would tell my husband this and let him know I would compromise but my hands are full. Is your hubby s only child?? Good luck and God bless.
Do you have the ability to speak!
I don’t understand what the difference is between her moving in when you’re renting or when you’re buying. Then again, if you don’t want her to now, why do you think you’ll want her to then?
Think you need to be straight with your husband, and yourself.
Big hugs, it’s not a pleasant situation.
3 Likes
Bloody hell, you’re talking like 50 is geriatric!
Open your mouth and say “No, grandma isn’t coming to live with us!” It’s your house too, isn’t it?
3 Likes
Tell your husband no, there’s no reason for her to live with you in her 50s, I’m 59 and would never live off of my kids, she’s lazy and a sponge, it’s your home too, it’s a hard no.
2 Likes
Grandma is way to young and healthy to need so much care. She is a spoiled child. Hope hubby hears you.
1 Like
Tell him its no happening simples
Don’t do it. She’s a leach. Will ruin ur life and ur marriage!!!
Does she contribute to the household income? Does she pay room and board or take care of one or more household bills? If she is still young-ish and able bodied she can help by doing her own household chores in her own space and keeping all shared spaces clean and tidy if she uses them. You need to sit down with your husband and discuss this. Then sit down with his mother and have her sign a lease or contract to assure you that she will keep up her side of the bargain. If not, she needs to understand that she will need to find her own place. You need to draw boundaries and stick to them.
Talk to your husband. There is no need for her to move in unless she is severely sick and needing help. If she is only in her 50s then she is capable of working and having her own place. If she is dating she needs to concentrate on that. Sounds like she expects something for nothing. She needs to work on her self esteem and get herself in a better place in her mind. It’s nice to know your child will be there for you when you need them but it’s too soon for now. She needs to be working, exercising or getting a hobby. Enjoying herself at this age. I’m 70 and widowed. I live by myself. Retired and bowl 2 nights a week. I’m not in perfect shape but you have to keep moving to stay in motion. I’m always looking for the next adventure in life. She does not need to move in for now. Be firm about it. She needs to get a place of her own and the grandkids can have sleepovers there occasionally. This is better for your mental health and hers also and her self esteem. Prayers for a good outcome for all.
there’s no reason for her to move in if she’s capable of taking care of herself. Tell her to rent a house close to y’all’s
1 Like
There is zero reason for her to live with you. It will cause tension and fights. Especially if she is lazy and expects you to serve her and clean up after her. We had my mil and her husband stay with us a few months while they were getting on their feet and it was awful. They couldn’t even follow my basic rules of not smoking in my house. I smelled cigarettes almost every morning coming from MY SONS room where they were staying while my son was sleeping in the living room. I was so mad when they moved out and I found cans upon cans of half empty sodas with cigarette butts in them. I highly suggest talking to your husband about how you dont feel it’s ok for his mom to live with you guys unless she needs to for some medical reason
He better be quiet while you’re ahead don’t burn anymore Bridges 
You are looking at this negatively. Just think, you will have a live in babysitter. I’m sure there are things she can do to help.
Girl put your Big Girl panties on. It’s your house. Seriously…
1 Like
She doesn’t need to move. She’s doing fine. She will just drive a wedge between you and your husband. Just tell your husband no. There is subsidized housing if she needs it.
Put your foot down now or get divorced in about 5 years… your choice.
Also sis, if you don’t want to be like “naw she cant move in” make her sign a lease. List all things she is supposed to do for herself and the house even if there is no monetary payment(rent) due from her. She violates that agreement evicte her. She’s a grown ass woman and will ultimately end up costing you your marriage if you don’t speak up for yourself.
1 Like
Unless there is a Medical or financial problem then why does the little boy need his momma ,mine has been dead 30 years learn to live
1 Like
Not a good idea unless she has a separate place in the house
Fuck that. 
Grow some lady balls…now.
1 Like
Ohhh here we go. Another case of the son husband & his narcissistic mother who never cut the cord. Emotional incest at its finest. She’s in her 50s & functioning fully. Good lort I’d tell hubby, “Sure, she can move in when she’s in ill health in about 20 to 30 years!” WTF is the point of her moving in now? I don’t understand. Why does a grown ass woman with a social life, & I’ll presume sex life, want to move in with her son & HIS family? Why does your husband want her to move in? Why are you the only one who recognizes how abnormal & unhealthy this is? You mentioned she’s lived with y’all before so she could find a place… Is mommy a loser who still hasn’t grown up yet? I wouldn’t entertain anymore conversation regarding this nonsense. Absolute fuckery!
9 Likes
She sounds lazy I would not allow her to live w ya
Nope. She dont need to move in. Tell your husband that. Sounds like hes still a boy who still needs his mommy around him all the time and she wants somebody to cater to her.
Dont do it. Dont let her move in.
Nope. She wouldn’t be moving in if I were in that situation. Eff that.
2 Likes
She’s had one stay with the family and didn’t pull her weight, why do they honestly think that it’ll be any different this time…? The definition of stupidity is doing the same thing again and again, expecting a different result.
3 Likes
Hello my name is Febby Mwape my fiance broke up with me last week i was so sad I changed completely, I wasn’t eating and i wasn’t talking to anybody, I cried a lot,I was so depressed and stressed out that I was scared I’m going to end up in the hospital because of all the stress and depression until one day i search online on getting love tips because I Love & care about him deeply and I just want us to be together as a couple again and I want us to last forever then i found a powerful spell caster Called ojukudele that he solved so many relationship problem then ojukudele told me he will come back to me between 15hours after he cast spell on him never believe it until my finance called me on the phone and told me he want us to come back and live happily together forever , Am so happy now that ojukudele help me bring my finance back to me. Thanks so much ojukudele he can also help you Email him at
Ojukudele@gmail.com OR WhatsApp him on +234 803 794 6490
1 Like
She’s only in her 50s?? Girl she damn sure don’t need to move in yet!! Sounds like she just wants a live in maid and somebody else to pay her rent for her, I’d tell my husband that she doesn’t need to move in yet and if she just has to that there are going to be some stipulations to it this time
2 Likes
You need to have a conversation with hubby about expectations if she moves in. And stick to what you decide together
1 Like
I would just sit down with my husband and tell him these are my expectations from our. Past experience & you or we need to discuss with ur mom prior to any moving in and agree or we can’t allow her to move in .
I would talk to your hubby about the things you won’t tolerate this time around. So that HE can tell his own mom that she needs to buck up and take care of herself if she were to move in. More people in a house is more hands on deck… NOT more work for one person.
I’d suggest you bring this to his attention and not on here, where you’ll be ridiculed
My mil lived with my husband and i for about 8 months and let me tell you i wouldnt want to do it again.
Big fat NO!! To that!!
50s ? She is going to wear you out…
She will need you when she’s old
and you will be over it
1 Like
Don’t do it , she wants to be catered to don’t doit
I would explain that you are happy to give a place when you have your own home where she can have a small in-law house in the back. If she becomes non ambulatory, then she can move in. But to give your kids their own space to grow up you don’t honk it’s best she lives IN your house.
I would personally lose my shit if I had a MIL like that.
Sorry but no. We have our lives and you yours. Dinner 1x a week .lol
Tell the old man never tell the old woman you are not her slave get your own place set the children down and tell them its not your place to take care of granny stick to your guns
50 for God sakes no way ,leave her where she is