How can I tell my mom I do not want her coming on vacation with us?

Not technically mom related but I’m awful with confrontation and we planned to go on vacation in July just me, my fiancé, and our 2 kids so we booked a suite with 2 queen beds, a living room, and kitchenette. After the fact we booked it a month later my mom says “I want to go” and then started planning how all of her bags would fit in our car and earlier she texted me “I’m putting vacation days in today” I said I didn’t know you were going and she said “I can just stay home if you don’t want me going” then of course I felt bad and don’t want to say no. I’m just not sure how to tell her without her getting upset. We just had no plan on anyone else coming with us since it was just a family vacation. How do I tell her without being so blunt about her not going? Even if she goes I wouldn’t mind but would rather her get her own hotel but I feel like that might even come off as rude I just hate when it comes to confrontation.


I would simply say “mom I love spending time with you but this vacation is only for us. We can do something special all together when he come back.”


Let her go and enjoy it all too!
She can also help with the children when you and the hubby need time alone
Win win!!
Life is so short, enjoy her while you can!


If you don’t mind her riding along then just let her know that she would need to make sure that she has her own room because you’ve only got enough space for your family.


I was a single parent and took my mom on vktion to help me with kids. The kids would complain sometimes but now that they are older they love the memories. Be thankful she is still around to enjoy your kids and family time.


Just tell her that the vacation was just for your household. A little getaway with the kids and husband so you guys can all reconnect as a family. Let her know that she is welcome to come but she would have to book a hotel room of her own.


The problem I see is you didn’t tell her no from the first place. She now has made plans and gotten excited based on you not saying no or potentially even saying yes or something similar. I would tell her that you didn’t book enough space for her since you didn’t plan on her coming, but she can book her own accommodations and you guys can do some things together. And, free babysitter for a few date nights! Next time, be clear up front when you book vacation that she can’t come this time but can join in another time.


I would tell her that I don’t mind her coming but that she will need to book her own room. It may be nice having her there. You and your fiance could have a night to yourself then!


“Hey mom. I didn’t know how to speak up before, but we really just want this to be a family vacation for us.”


Sorry, you can only be blunt with this. Let her know, you were not planning additional people, room was booked for only enough beds for the family. We can or even have her plan the next one, make it a 3 day weekend, there is plenty the rest of the year.


Ah you sounds like me. Cuz I’d just bring my mom. I’m also a mamas baby at 30yo and feel like life is to short to leave her out. I’d bring her everywhere with us. Plus she’s a big help with the LO

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As soon as she said she was taking the days off from work, I would’ve stopped her right there and said it’s just for you, your significant other and the kids.

I hate it when people invite themselves along.


Well she already said she wouldn’t go if you didn’t want her to. Your the one that then told her oh no you can go. That was wrong of you. Now there’s no way to tell her she cant go where your not TAH. Now your best bet is to tell her she needs her own room and to bring her own car. Just tell her there’s not enough room in the car or the hotel.


I can’t believe all the people trying to make her feel guilty that she wants to go on a trip with her fiance and kids, our children have a right to their own lives… I’m sure she loves her mom and is grateful for her, but you people saying “I guess she isn’t family” are being ridiculous… of course she is family, but she has her own little family now… that’s what our children do, they grow up and have their own families and they have a right to do things like this with their own little family without us there.


Poor thing let mom go tell her to book her own room even though it will have a living room as you said life is so short make this a good memory all around! Sounds to me just wants to have good time too. And she can help with them kids while you and your fiancé can enjoy time alone. Or plan something with her sooner and have a good time with her and tell her at that point the July trip is just for your family. I’m sure she will understand! :hugs: :raised_hands::smiley:


One day when she is old and ready to go you will wish you let her go. Once your mom is gone she is gone. Let her get in as many happy memories as you can with the kids


Just explain theres not enough room for her in yalls room. She would have to get her own room

Wait…u did say 'Family Vacation"…Isnt she family?? More so than the fiancée I’d think… At least with Gram on board…she can go off on a venture with the kids and the adults can take in sonw sight seeing as well.Men come n go…But you only get one mom…to make them precious memories with the kids.


My mom went to Florida with us like 7 years and it was nice in two ways. Since we drove it gave us an extra driver and secondly she watched the kids one night so my husband and I could have a date night out in Orlando. It was an added bonus of her being there. She however chose to not go to Disney with us, which gave us family memories and she went to see my aunt instead. It was a nice vacation.

Just tell her it’s a getaway for you, your fiance, and your kids. She is not invited. If she doesn’t get that then just deal with it. It’s better coming from you than your fiance, trust me on that.

Tell her the truth. And tell her you love her. You planned the trip for the four of you BUT next trip she can pick the place and perhaps also plan it and you all surely can try and make it happen.


Just tell her. Her feelings will probably be hurt and that is ok. She’s allowed to feel hurt and you’re allowed to go on vaca without her


Tell her to get a single room because your room is full. You’re not lying. She can hang out with the kids a couple of nights and yal could go do something just the two of you.

I feel like she wouldn’t get her own room and would just tell you she did and then you would get there and be stuck sharing! Just tell her ‘No sorry this has already been planned for awhile but next time we should plan something together!’

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You’ll have to be honest with her. I only wish my kids were able to make memories like this… when parents pass life completely changes.


First I like to ask does she help in her grandchildren’s child care. If so she should go and enjoy you all on vacation not just caring for you. If not this probably is the beginning of something new, my son is starting this now after years of always going with them… it will hurt her at first but she’ll have to accept it and maybe join some social groups and get a life of her own.

Sounds like she wants a free vacation. Set boundaries. She is going ro be upset no matter how you approach it.

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Just let her know you had planned the vacation just for you and your little family to get away and spend some quality time together . I mean I know how you feel I would feel a little bad as well but she invited herself so really she should understand and her saying well if u don’t want me to go she is giving you a guilt trip. Just say mom I do not mean to be rude mean or anything but we planned this vacation just for our household so maybe the next time we can plan a big vacation for our extended family just tell her you need kid and husband time.

Just tell her that you understand she wants to go but this vacation is only for you your kids and your fiancé … if she wants to pout let her pout and if she puts vacation days in after you told her then that’s her fault not yours. Stand up for yourself and stop letting people make you feel bad for wanting to do things just for you and your little family. They have no say on how you feel or react only you do.

Girl. Just tell her straight up… and yiu can start by saying, this is hard for me to say but…and blurt it all out. If it helps, text it to her.

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I would say “mom i love the fact that you want to spend time on vacation with us, but we wasn’t planning any extra people” then say “maybe we can plan another vacation that you can join us on another time”

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The best way to tell her is the truth: Mom ,I love you, but this vacation is for the 4 of us, we need some away time together. Let’s plan a family vacation that we can all go on together.


Set the boundary girl or you’re going to deal with this forever. I get she is your mother but she has a place and it’s not inviting herself on your vacation. Don’t let her guilt trip you! You’re a grown woman and you don’t have to feed her gratification every meal. You aren’t on this earth to please your Mama forever. Tell her you’ll bring her home a souvenir.

I’d say “nope bitch”

Just kidding :joy:

She’s your mom just tell her how you feel :heart:don’t over think it. Just do it and don’t wait!

how about putting on your BIG Girl Panties & explaining just what you wrote here to your mom


AS a mom, who spends time with her kids. Please be honest don’t make up anything. Just tell her you do not want ot hurt her feelings and you planned the trip to include your other half and kids. Advise, you do not mind if she goes but if she can get her own room you would appreciated it. Or you can alway plan another trip that includes her if she would rather wait until then. Just let her know you love her, she will understand more than you think she will.

A babysitter for you and your hubby… perhaps a good way to look at it…if ya wanted some alone time…tell her well mom… you better hurry up and book your room before it’s booked solid…or if you dont really want her to go… say NO… not this trip mama…

Let her go! Enjoy your time with your mom while you can. Let her make memories with the babies. Just ask her if she could get her own room to give y’all some privacy. My mom is my best friend🤍

I would just make it funny like this, “We don’t mind you going with us but… you will need to get your own room due to the adult activities that may happen once the kids fall asleep!” then give her a overly dramatic wink and then just simply… demonstrate… for example

Honesty is always best. No sugar coating! Simply say you’d rather plan a vacation for all of you at another time but this one is just for you guys. I’m sure she’ll understand and if not :woman_shrugging:t3:

Blunt is best imo. Tell her you booked the vacation with no plans on anybody outside of your home going and there isn’t room at the place you’re staying, and that you can all plan a family trip another time.

Life is short! Cherish your time with your Mama :heart:


Omg this sounds EXACTLY like my mom! It’s a boundary issue. Don’t let her guilt you. Tell her honestly and kindly and say that next time you can plan something all together but it’s too late to make any big changes like that now.


Take her,some day u whised wished u had,she family.


Please do what you want to do! If you don’t want her going tell her. You do not have to let her go because “life is short” we’re all going to die someday that doesn’t mean we have to allow people to not respect our boundaries don’t let her feel comfortable just inviting herself along or she’ll do it again. You’re allowed to go on family vacations with just your significant other and children. :heart::heart:

Just tell her, that was rude to invite herself, tell her you want your privacy, and she can go another time.

Ow dear , ask her to make her own booking for a room , you can always take some advantage of her being able to watch the kids while you and hubby get some time alone . Next time let her know that it’s just you hubby and kids .

Grow some, and just say NO

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I would never dream of telling or asking my kids if I could go on vacation with them.

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There isn’t enough room in the car nor the hotel room. Time to be blunt but kind. Tell her there isn’t enough room so sorry she can’t come. Be firm but polite.

Just be honest and as polite as u can. If she doesn’t understand then turn up the volume

Say the called and they have to give u a smaller room since they over booked. Or just plain out no it’s already booked and planned.


Just tell her. Otherwise she will be sharing your space.

You need to set your boundaries or the problem will just get bigger

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Just tell her. Put your big girl.panties on

I would say let her go…tell her you want separate rooms at least…it could also help you and your husband get private time while kids are with grandma…i miss my momma and wish i could have her go with me and the kids on vacations

U will just have to tell her. She’s the one who invited herself so it’s either tell her to cover her own room and stuff or she can’t go with. You prolly had everything pretty well budgeted out and her goin will put a bit of a strain on ur plans I’d u have for her now…if she gets butthurt then she’ll just have to get butthurt

Enjoy being with your mom. You’ll miss her one day.


She is being emotionally manipulative to get a free holiday. Why would you have included her?!


Tell her to get her own room because your kids c are getting bigger and need more room.

Just tell her that you guys want to be just you , no one else .
Tell her that you can plan to do something together when you come back , if she gets upset that’s on her .
But , you should do it asap before she still doing plans and ask for days off

You gotta set some boundaries

Bring her, she can watch the kids while you and hubby get some alone time. Never turn down a free babysitter on vacay


Maybe she thought she was part of the family?

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She lacks boundaries…and you lack enforcing boundaries.

Shame on your mom for forcing her way into your vacation.

Why don’t you try to tell her that this time it was only 4 of you fam vacation planned and that you would love to go holiday with her other time and put dates in calendar :woman_shrugging:t3: also if she is your mum she also needs to understand some boundaries… or maybe take her away for a weekend just you and kids and her or maybe just you and her…. Maybe she got no one to go on holiday with?

Honestly I would probably let her go but I would tell her that you have some activities planned just you and the people in your home but she’s more than welcome to tag along for a couple of the other activities honestly I always take an extra person on vacation to help with the kids so me and my husband can have a little bit of a long time

Def should have spoken up sooner. That leaves two options. Let her come and be blunt but polite and know she’s probably going to be cranky or hurt but she’s a grown woman.
If you let her tag along, plan a couple of activities just for you guys or ask if she might like to take the kids for a few hours and go out with hubby.

You should have told her from jump that it was just a trip with hubby and kids. My question is why did she just assume she was going in the first place?

For everyone saying just let her go she will be old someday etc…that is true but it is also true that her own children will be grown someday and she has the right to just want to have a trip with her kids and husband as well as her husband might just want a trip with his wife and kids, there is nothing wrong with that.

Tell her she can go if you gets her room and pays for herself. But it may help with the kids and everyone will have memories

Tell her the vacation is for you , uoir partner and kids only . Just leave it at that .