I am a mom to two babies, 8 and 1 yo. My partner and I have had a rough year, but we are doing okay. He is facing legal trouble; he is an addict but now sober and went to rehab, so he is just trying to get back to work. He doesn’t want anymore children, and I do. We spoke about doing it “right” in the future and planning our last one so we can be excited and enjoy every minute. welp, surprise. I am pregnant. I’m not sad at all. I know I have a few things to figure out, and my youngest is only one; that’s the only thing that makes me nervous. When I told him I wanted to talk to him, the first thing he said is “oh God. you better not be pregnant. we cannot have a baby right now.” so I didn’t even say anything to him. Now I’m kind of upset because I feel like I don’t have a supportive partner at all, and I really wanted to be happy. So now I feel super alone. How would y’all go about telling him? just rip off the band-aid? I feel like if he tries to tell me to terminate the baby, our relationship will be over because that will not be happening.
Yeah just tell him. You’re in the situation now. Not telling him yet isn’t going to change anything.
Does he not know how babies are made? It sounds like something may be missing here.
Just be straight with him. He made the baby too so its just as much on him as it is you.
He’s the non supportive one? Oh ok. 
This is why so many couples split up and most women become single parents. Why force having a child when your partner does not want one yet? You are saying you have things to sort out and if he’s only just gone to rehab now, is it guaranteed he will be always sober? Maybe spend your time better and focus on your children’s future rather than pop babies just because YOU want one. It seems like he understands your circumstances better
Tell him. If he wants you to abort , leave him.
Honestly you sound selfish, i understand not everyone is okay with abortion but you know he’s going through a lot he specifically said he didn’t want kids and who knows if y’all even took the proper precautions, i hope y’all did considering that y’all talked it out already and agreed i want to say y’all did and this is just a freak accident, i think you should respect his wishes on not wanting another kid. don’t force him to have another one especially with everything he/y’all are you going through.
If y’all weren’t planning on any more kids now then did y’all not use any birth control or condoms or any other methods because you do know that having unprotected sex leads to babies right so if there wasn’t no safe sex then y’all both knew the chances and should just accept this baby as the blessing it is 
(LETS MAKE THIS CLEAR I DONT BELIEVE IN ABORTIONS ! THATS NOT WHY I THINK IT SOUNDS SELFISH!) Sounds selfish to me… I mean everything hes going through with legal stuff and addiction even if he went to rehab its still a daily battle and him specifically saying he’s not ready for another kid right now and all you seem to care about is what you want. Your pregnant now so all you can do is tell him and hope for the best. 
I think all babies are miracles but you both should have done better to prevent it if he wasn’t ready for another one just yet. But honestly I think your the one that’s not very supportive…
I think you are the one that needs help 
He might be reacting out of stress. I would suggest if you cant handle a negative reaction from him write him a letter or make him a card explaining about the baby and how excited you are and positive you guys can do this. Then leave it for him to find in private. That way he can process and be on board when you guys come together to talk about it. Congrats and good luck.
Tell him to suck it up and get ready cuz one way or another that baby is coming. If he didn’t want any more kids he should have more insistent on birth control.
If ur spouse isn’t ready to have another child then u shouldn’t force him to have another baby even if I want another one. It’s not fair to him, not fair to y’all’s kids, and not fair to the unborn child that u would carrying. Especially if u r saying he is in rehab. He has his own things that he is struggling w and need to recover from before he is ready to have another child. He isn’t going to be able to be a supportive partner, a good father to the baby, etc cuz he is in rehab so he can’t give the baby time, attention, etc that the baby needs. It’s a pretty selfish thing to do and it does sound like she got pregnant on purpose cuz she could’ve took advantage of it when he was under the influence or even skipped taking her birth control pills. There r ways u can get pregnant without ur partner knowing.
I wouldn’t say you’re selfish, because it takes two to create a baby. It wasn’t just you and you somehow sucker him in. You both knew that unprotected sex would lead to this. However, I think that he is going through a lot at the moment and that makes it hard for him to focus on a baby. Not to mention, he said he doesn’t want anymore. Which with that being said, he should of got a vasectomy or something. Anyways, you can look into abortion, but you already said you don’t want to, so that doesn’t leave you many options. You need to tell him asap so you two can figure out what you want to do. If that means he kicks rocks and you raise the baby alone, then it’s time to step up and do what you have to do. There’s no good outcome for this situation. Unless he accepts that this is because both of you were not super responsible when it came to contraceptives.
Oh my… first these comments ain’t it. Second it takes two to tango and if he didn’t want children he knows how to take extra precautions I doubt she planned this but probably didn’t take proper precautions either even if he doesnt want kids you take the risk having unprotected sex so I dont see how it’s all about him and stuff aside their a couple its her job to help him through and he’s already got 2 kids so my personal opinion he should have been off drugs a long godamn time ago neither are innocent here. Regardless tell him because you’ve already made up your mind your not aborting so rip the bandage off and do what you gotta do bc if you leave you only got 9 months to set yourself up to care for 3 kids and run a household. Much luck to you
If he wasn’t wanting a baby he should have prevented it. Plain and simple. He needs to start preparing for this baby.
These comments are a shitshow. Yes, he’s had a rough year, but don’t take it out on the poor kid. You should tell him sooner than later. He’ll have a few months to get his head around it or come around. Just be sure to be supportive of his needs as it does sound like he is trying to do better.
You are not selfish. Sorry but if he really didnt want anymore he would have had the surgery or wrapped it. I would just come right out and tell him that you are and your not getting rid of it. But you will have to understand with him going thru legal stuff, you may be the one supporting this baby. And you know what you can do it. It may be hard at first but you can do it. Let him get his shit together. Just be supportive of his situation. Shit happens. Why do people have to be so shitty all the time.
He needs to get his shit together, it’s plain and simple. You have two children together and now a third on the way? He should of stepped up once the first one was born.
Don’t want a baby? Have a vasectomy or don’t have sex.
Please do not listen to these comments!!! Your love for your child will get you through anything you need to deal with. He has to find out sooner or later. He can choose to be supportive or choose not to. It’s your choice to still be happy with your pregnancy and love your baby. You can accomplish anything as a mother. Our love for our babies gets us through even the hardest days. Congratulations, you can do this momma
I had this same experience with my husband. Our daughter was only 1 at the time and he didn’t want any more kids. Unfortunately I had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks however, prior to finding out we had lost the baby, my husband was very upset and kept telling me how he didn’t want another child BUT would not tell me to terminate it and said we’d figure it out. I ripped it off like a band aid knowing he’d be upset. You two are in this together and although he may be upset at first, he may come around. You are blessed beyond measure, so enjoy every second. You can do anything momma!
I really can not believe some of the comments I have read on here, one comment especially.
So let me just go ahead and say- you are not selfish! If he was so dead set on not having another child then he shouldn’t have had sex or should have went and made it to where he couldn’t have children. He is going through a lot right now though so it is of course going to be really hard for him to look at this from a positive stand point. But you are already pregnant and there is nothing you can do except have the baby and who knows this baby may be the blessing you both need. Best of luck yes, I would tell him. I personally wouldn’t rush it, give him some time to heal and then talk to him. You will know when the time is right.
It’s better to tell him, you never know his reaction. We [women] aren’t mind readers nor is our partners
It’s not the baby fault he is not ready he should have worn protection to prevent it a baby is a blessing he will come round he has no choice he is adult not a teenager
You have to tell him. A baby is coming whether he likes it or not. Then give him time to process the info, he will eventually come around to the idea of another baby… hes going to need reassurance because of his previous situations that it’s going to be okay… be gentle, be kind… he is probably scared to bring more kids into the world at the moment. But my advise is to just tell him… sooner the better… goodluck
I’d do it like a band aid. There is no such thing as a “good time” to have a baby. There will always be barriers. Prepare yourself for the possibility that he might leave and you may become a single mom of 3. Good luck.
I don’t have any advice other than you will obviously have to tell him. It does sound like he isn’t ready to step up due to his addictions and it’s going to be hard regardless if you guys separate or stay together. I don’t think you are selfish one bit but I don’t support terminating a baby personally so this is what I do. Before there is any intimacy in a relationship I talk with the guy, let him know I do not want a baby right now, not sure if I do want another baby in the future or not. I have endo so I may not be able to have another who knows. I do take birth control basically year round so my fertility level is lower than most women. However, should I become pregnant I will be having and keeping the baby but I do not expect them to change their life and if they want out they can go. 
They then have the choice to proceed or bail, I will not change my thought process on how I do things and I make that very clear from the beginning.
Idk if these people can help you but I’ve heard amazing things about them helping women who have had an unexpected pregnancy! I hope you find what you’re looking for!
I read your post 3 times over. To me if sounds like a very wrong time to get pregnant. hopefully you weren’t being malicious and purposely got knocked up because that’s messed up. But if you didn’t then he needs to step up. But because he has expressed how against he is about having another child don’t be surprised if he dips out however I would say it is a bit selfish of you considering having another child due to the circumstances but it is what it is. But if you did it on purpose then yeah your selfish and just tell him. Postponing his reaction isn’t going to make it better. And whatever happens do what you have to do for your kids. They are the priority. Not his feelings.
Just because he doesn’t feel ready right now, doesn’t mean he will still feel like that when the baby arrives or after. Babies don’t always come planned or at the ideal time but neither do financial/emotional/relationship/etc. struggles. You’re going to have to “rip the bandaid off” because he’s going to need to be involved. Maybe try some couples counseling to work through some things and make a plan to get ready for the new baby. And if this is all too much for him and he wants to leave, I’m truly sorry. But couple or not, you two will still be parents to this child. He can’t run away from that no matter how hard he tries. Remind him that the struggles you two have been and are experiencing will come and go throughout your lives whether you have two kids or three. The new baby is not a new struggle. He/she is another reason to keep going and make the best of what you have.
Why would you be upset because you feel like you don’t have a supportive partner when you knew he didn’t want anymore kids? It’s not just on the man to use protection or “not have sex” you are just as much responsible so if he dips out…don’t be mad. You knew from the beginning their were issues and he told you he didn’t want another baby.
Tell him. Hes allowed to be upset and stressed because things didn’t go to plan and hes not in the best of place and recognizes that. Hes allowed to be mad but he isn’t allowed to take it out on you or the family. Tell him you understand this wasn’t the way you wanted it to go down either but uts the way its happening and he will have to find a way to deal with it. You didn’t make this baby alone so he can’t hold you responsible and the blame game and fighting helps no one. Just say I am pregnant and keeping the baby. You understand he isn’t happy about it but what is done is done and thats it. If he starts on about abortion or anything else shut it down with nope im having this baby and I’m decided…you just need to decide how you want to handle the pregnancy and be patient with him. Be patient but not an emotional punching bag.
Honestly this was me in March when I found out. My hubs and I talked about another baby but wanted to plan. And right after the world went to pot my teenage daughter looks at me and says mom my period is late (we are synced up) and I was like well stress and blah blah. But she was mad because she looked at me and asked if I had mine and I hadn’t so I decided to take a test and instantly positive. When I went out to my husband when he got home and told him we were pregnant and he was upset and said this was an awful time for it. I was hurt and upset and sad because we wanted another baby. Buttttt he later (a few days) came around and said he was in the wrong for his reaction. He said he was extremely happy and thankful for our gift. Give it a little time but be honest with him upfront
Do people know how NOT to get pregnant nowadays???
Seriously…
If a man tells you he’s not ready, going through rehab and facing legal trouble… FUCK!
Who would want bring an innocent child into that situation?
Selfish fucking people, that’s who!
You want a kid and he’s allowed to not want any. His feelings are just as valid as yours. He’s allowed to be upset and doesn’t have to be happy just because you are like you don’t have to be sad just because he is.
Iev read your post 3xs, after understanding your SO is struggling with addiction, facing LEGAL Consequences and unemployed the First comment that stuck out was He dosen’t want anymore children BUT I DO! The next was I told him I needed to talk to him and his response was ,You better NOT be pregnant! Well sweetheart I’m not a member of the Make me feel better about my life choices society, pregnancy is the EASIEST thing to PREVENT, Did you lead him to BELIEVE you had contraception covered? Did YOU make this choice soley bc it’s what YOU want? If the answer is YES , YOU have No RIGHT to expect him to be supportive or Happy BC YOU made that CHOICE for him Against his wishes and without His consent. All children DESERVE to be born to Egarly Excited PARENTS, So Yes be HAPPY and Excited for the New Baby after all YOU are getting what YOU want REGARDLESS how it will effect the child. And that my Dear is extremely SELFISH.
I can’t tell you how to tell him but seriously we have a 14 and 12 year old them a 2 and 1 year old and a 6 week old it wasn’t hard having them close like that for me
If he doesn’t support you and you want this child I would kick his ass to the curb. You don’t get pregnant by yourself he had a hand in that it was obviously unplanned. He needs to step up and be a parent. It’s simple he had a hand in making the kid and now it’s his responsibility.Even if he said he wasn’t ready even if he’s facing issues. The old saying if you don’t want to get pregnant don’t have sex. It’s a possibility every single time you have sex no matter what. This baby is a huge gift. There are so many who would love to have a baby and I understand your circumstances are hard but you just have to believe something better will come out of this.
Omg all these women on here bashing you for not wanting to kill your baby 
I’m so sorry you are having to endure this holy shit.