I told my daughter around 2, once a year on the date I found out J was pregnant I still talk to her, she’s 7 now but I wanted her to know from a young age so it wasn’t just thrown on her. She doesn’t ask about him she has a dad as far as she’s concerned atm maybe she’ll ask more as she grows older but at least it’s in the bck of her mind for now x
I told mine at 6 when I knew he was ready
If it were me, I would wait until one of the following situations arise.
- He asks/notices that he doesn’t look like step daddy.
- There is some sort of medical reason where he needs to know that he has a different bio dad
- You get a gut feeling he should know - preferably old enough to understand but young enough that it doesn’t feel like you hid it from him. For this, I would say between ages 6 - 9.
1 Like
Not anytime soon. In my opinion. I have a five year old who is not my fiancé son but my fiancé has been there since he was five months old. His sperm donor isnt around, hasnt seen him since he was a year old. He for sure doesnt pay child support. Lol. But we arent going to tell him until he is way older. Then we will give him a option to find him and have a relationship with him. I always said I wouldnt make that choice for my child.
We have talked about finding him and seeing if he would sign his rights away.
Don’t say anything hell fugure it out when hes older my same situation and my son is now 5 qnd says he doesn’t have a dad he has a drew weve been together almost 3 years so over half his life. He Asked once or twice and i told him i was his dad too lol but he figured it out and put tbhe peices together
My son is 4 and he doesnt know is biological father
Wait until he asks hes a bit young yet
He has a father. He needs consistency sounds like he has that wit your SO.
My son’s biological dad died when he was a month old. The dad that he knows today stepped in when he was a baby, he’s the only dad he’s ever known. I wanted until he was around 7 to explain to him. I wanted to wait until he was old enough to explain the concept of death but he started questioning as to why his last name was different so I felt like that was as good as a time as any. There’s never a right time… although my son was still young when I told him, he’s still confused about it. If I could go back, I would of waited until he was a little bit older just because he still struggles with it… I didn’t want to wait too long and have him resent me for not telling him sooner. It’s a complicated situation. Do what you feel is right and don’t ever be hard on yourself for it. 
He’s not to young you’ve already made the mistake of making the the “FATHER” not sperm donor relevant by waiting to explain his absence ,should have from the beginning told them slowly and at his level every year give him more about the father not being there and then let it go unless he asks kids aren’t stupid. As for the present father your partner good for him if he wants to fill that gap it will make it easier, the older they get more resent-meant they will have towards you for not telling them and for keeping it from them
Love is what makes a family . I have always known I was adopted. It wasn’t something that was bad, it was just facts. I’m glad I knew because I have had friends who found out as teenagers and it destroyed them and their families.
Hiya ide tell him when he’s at the age of understanding I think I was bout 12 when my mum told me my dad wasn’t my biological dad but in my eyes he was my real dad anyway x