How can I tell someone he is the father of my child?

I’ve been seeing this guy for almost seven years now, we’re in an open relationship. I’ve never taken pills my entire life, but use protection, but 5yrs ago. I had a swift relationship with a guy I met on a dating app then got me pregnant… fast forward my child is growing up healthy, his father is now married and has his own family… and now I just found out I’m 6 weeks pregnant… with the partner I have for years now. But we had some problems conceiving for years. That’s why I hadn’t needed to use any pills… How can I tell him that he’s the father? He might think I’m getting his hopes up and think I had another guy like what happened 5yrs ago with my first child. Is it even possible for me to get pregnant when he’s having problems with his fertility?


Ok, so be honest with yourself first. If he was the only possibility you wouldn’t be questioning whether he could give you a child. You’d be talking about what a blessing and miracle this is… So be honest with yourself, and him.


Yes. It’s possible. My brother in law went through chemo, was told to freeze down for future kids, he was 18 and was like nah, will fathers 10 years, and he made a baby!

My friends husband went through chemo and was told he wouldn’t have anymore and out came 3 more.

Yeah paternity test is the only answer here, it’d be wrong to assume the paternity and pin it on someone just for them to find out later in life

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Might need to test the 5yo dna too, sounds like it could be dads after all

Simple. Yell Hey!! You knocked me up!!:grin::grin:

Just curious if you got a dna test on the first child? Could it be this same guys child?

If he’s the only one you have been with then why is this even a question… You didn’t immaculately concept. :roll_eyes:

I don’t get it? Sounds like it could possibly Be someone else’s, otherwise you wouldn’t be questioning this


Be an adult and just tell him and then go get a paternity test so you all know for sure.

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I think she’s saying 5 years ago she was in a open relationship but NOT now. She’s still sleeping with the same guy from 7 years ago but she’s afraid he is going to think that it’s someone else’s child(like what happened 5 years ago) and not his. Whenever it is in fact his baby. But since he has fertility issues maybe he won’t believe her.

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Give him DNA test at birth

It only takes one swimmer

Why not wait until the baby is born and do a dna test just to be 100%. He obviously has trust issues with you due to the first child not being his. So if I was you I would be honest and also say you understand his doubts and that if he wants to he can get dna test once the baby is born.


And if you’re asking if it’s possible with him having problems with fertility well unless you are sleeping around again then apparently it is possible

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If you’re in an open relationship you should be getting a dna test


Well he deserves to know so I’d be figuring that out.


If he is in doubt, test DNA.

You need to be honest with him. Tell him you are pregnant and he is the the father. You should have a DNA test done when the baby is born to confirm paternity since you are in an open relationship.

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My daughters dad was told he wasn’t able to have kids. I got pregnant by him. He didn’t believe it was his until the second he seen her. It’s definitely possible. She’s now 13.

I’m also the 1% that got pregnant AFTER a tubal

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You can DNA test while pregnant ask your dr

Be as honest and open as you can with all parties involved. Get a DNA test. Make sure they know now that this is a possibility. Expect absolutely nothing from either until the DNA test is done. You can order them on Amazon for about 80 bucks.

Why is this even an issue with being his

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You didn’t tell someone he was the father five years but you want to tell this other man ? Does he know hes the not the father of the first kid ? If so he’s definitely gonna need dna testing for this one .


You can always bring him on TV


Why stir the pot? Do you want a relationship again? Your husband not stepping up? Child support? What can benefit the child… not you, not your husband, not the swing partner… but the CHILD! You said child was healthy, so genetic wise. Does your husband question the paternity? Is the baby your pregnant with your husband or another swing partner? All of this should have been discussed prior to being in an open relationship. What will happen if I get pregnant by a different partner.

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This is why open are relationships are too much for me lol


Both those offspring will grow up eventually. I am of the belief that EVERY person deserves to at least know who their true birth parents are.


Have you had any other relations for it to be someone else’s? If yes I would be getting a DNA test, but I would still talk to him about it

Those are the risks you take when you decide to be in a open relationship, but a DNA test will answer any question he or you might have

Why would you ask if it’s possible IF he’s the only possibility as the father though? :thinking:
Also why would you be trying to conceive in an open relationship?
If ya’ll can’t even commit to each other how are you going to raise a child together?


Soooo. There’s a chance he isn’t the father? If there’s a chance he isn’t, I wouldn’t just tell him that he is. Be honest and then have a dna test done when the baby is born.

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An honest open relationship yall would get a DNA test as he would know he isn’t the only one and would request it as well.

You can test during pregnancy

I mean if he’s the only one that you’re having sex with them yes he’s the father? I’m confused by this if you’re questioning it then it is there a possibility that there could be somebody else that’s the father?

DNA test is the only way. :roll_eyes:

Hiding, lies is not the answer!

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Are you deciding to talk to the older child’s father like hey here’s your kid I never bothered to mention? Or the partner you have been with all this time that you presume is the father of this pregnancy. I mean you should have both conversations but this was worded strangely.


Uh…… it sounds like you are unsure! If he’s the father then why didn’t you tell him immediately? Something sounds off!!!

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Um the open relationship status people now doing needs to go ! If your “ partner “ is only one you have been with ; you will know that he’s the father . If you have been with somebody else I suggest a dna test . Reconsider your status too .

You’ve waited 5+ years why say anything now? He’s obviously moved on and you stepping up is going to cause issues. You’ve already waited this long. Let it go and move on with your life and raise your son.


Just be open and honest. The worst that can happen is he’s sceptical and if that’s the case prove it with DNA once the baby is here.
I’m currently pregnant. I’m 33, second marriage. My husband is 12 years older than me and was previously told he’d never have children of his own. He tried with his ex of many years and it never happened. I have 3 kids from my previous marriage.
His family made some comments doubting he’s the father and after that he had doubts for a brief time. It sucked but it is what it is. He’s gotten over that though and there are zero other possibilities so trust me- it’s very much possible.


I’m trying not to judge. In an open relationship and relying on condoms or something as protection. Rather careless.


If you’ve been sleeping with someone besides him, you need a dna test before you tell him he’s the father :woman_facepalming:t2:


“I’m pregnant and you might be the father” emphasis on the MIGHT.

If you’re sleeping with multiple people and not on birth control - only using condoms - maybe it’s his and maybe it isn’t. Be honest and then do a DNA test.

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u just tell him? :roll_eyes: especially if u in a actual relationship with him. plus theres always dna tests for the dumb fuc

My brother was told that he would never have children. When his girlfriend got pregnant we all thought she was unfaithful due to what the doctors told him his entire life. SURPRISE, his son was born and there was no doubt that it was his. His son is his mini me. God works in mysterious ways.


I’d do DNA on both kids. Your partner could be the father if you were having sex at the time.

Unless both of you have had your fertility completely removed then yes he could’ve gotten you pregnant. Just do a dna test to show him as well.

But u just tell him you’re pregnant and you’ve been with no one else and are willing to prove that to him at the childs birth. If it could possibly be ANYONE ELSES tell him immediately. Don’t lead him on.

How long has it been since u slept with someone else? Even if u haven’t slept with anyone else just get the dna test done anyways

Anything is possible
But that’s one of the risks you take when you have an open relationship
Why did you not use protection when
You were sleeping with this other guy

I have to admit if I way a guy
Who had fertility issues
I would be questioning another pregnancy and paternity
Sounds like you need to sit down with your partner and tell him
You are pregnant again

Especially as your child’s father was only a hook up
With some random guy
You met on a dating app
Is the father of your other child an active father with the child you have with him ?
Perhaps get a DNA test done as well as getting tested for

I’d get a DNA test first.Yes,it is possible to get pregnant with fertility problems.


Wait what huh ? So the kid now is the married man kid ? But your 7 year partner knows its not his either the fact he has fertility problems. And now you’re pregnant with your 7 years partner ? Oh man twisty twist. Leave that married man alone and get DNA testing done.

My husband never had children before me with his exes …when we got together there were zero possibilities for anyone else so it is definitely possible we have 2 together now and he is 16 yrs older than I am …but if you’re worried get a dna test

You don’t sound 100% that it’s his. Lol is it possible? Well yea if he’s the only person you’ve done the deed with :joy: If not the only way to know for certain is a paternity test.


If he has been the only one you have slept with then why does it seem like your questioning yourself :sweat_smile:

If your 100% sure its his, tell him. You just say “I’m pregnant, your the father” easy really :woman_shrugging:t2:

Um are you still cheating? If so you don’t deserve someone that stayed the first time around

This is so confusing but I think I understand. You’re open so have had sex with other men… And you hope the child is your boyfriends but he has fertility issues… Okay. So you’re going to have to wait until you have a DNA test to prove if he’s the father bc if I’m reading this right, he’s not the only candidate