My husband and I have been together the majority of my middle son’s life. He came into his life when he was ten months old. To him, my husband is his dad, the man who has raised him and been the dad he (and my oldest) needed. His biological father is not listed on his birth certificate, and he didn’t meet him until right before his 6th birthday. He has been in and out of his life and has not been supported in the last almost two years. (My son just turned 9). My husband is wanting to adopt him because, in his mind, that’s his son because he was the one to take him to doctor appointments, got him walking, pays for his clothes, etc. How do we in our state (Indiana) go about for him to adopt him? As I’ve stated, his bio dad isn’t on his birth certificate, so I know that is an issue as well. Thanks!
I live in Ohio but this same situation is my life. My husband and I went to the department of health in our county and paid for Aknowledgement of Paternity form. We filled it out and had it signed by a notary, then we sent it to the states department of health and they changed my sons birth certificate. You can also change his name on the form also. Once they process it and you get a new copy of his birth certificate, you can then file with social security for a name change on his card also. I hope this helps. I know every state may be different. Good luck
typically there is just paperwork the biological father has to fill out.
you ‘might’ be able to get away with processing the adoption without the bio father…but…he could always raise a claim later and you readily admit they know about eachother now so…likely that would happen at some point.
This stuff gets tricky. even completely absent parents take huge offense to someone else ‘taking their child’ from them.
I would have exploratory conversations with the bio dad as to what his feelings on the matter might be. i would avoid using the word adoption specifically with bio dad. Say things like…"xxxx is his dad, just wanna make it legal’ could even mention legal issues where that could become a problem like, if lets say you were to pass…your husband wouldn’t have any legal rights to the boy, even if you specified that you wanted your husband to be his caregiver. If the bio-dad comes out and says now thats my kid, your husband has no recourse.
So, put it as just paperwork, just another thing that needs to be done to help keep your sons life uncomplicated etc.
if bio-dad puts up a fight n says he wont do it…you still have options but they become extremely pricey and time consuming.
i wouldn’t recommend trying to process without bio-dad unless you’re pretty confident he just doesn’t care.
other than that, it’s a relatively easy process. fill out some paperwork, go in front of a family court judge(they usually do lots of family adoptions together on the same day/at the same time, so it’s a neat experience)
There are lawyers who can do this stuff for you but, with some google research and a printer, and a few filing fees, you can do it solo. it’s really not ‘hard’ just…annoying/time-consuming. But, start sooner rather than later also, because it can take a long time for the court to process the paperwork and set a date etc. Depending on how big your area is and how well they manage their docket…they could be done only once a month or one a quarter etc. I’ve known families that waited close to 2 years and I’ve known families who get everything finalized after only a few months.
i do believe you could file with another court? that might have a better docket situation or perform these adoptions more frequently. You can also just call your local courthouse. I called them about 10 times during the year i was getting divorced and having a custody battle. they were kind and answered what they could and admitted what they couldn’t answer or didn’t know. they’re used to dealing with the public, so i would start there.
wow really? thats incredible. I had no idea Ohio’s process was so easy… I assume this is because father was blank on the birth cert? and would have been a different situation otherwise? or…maybe they didn’t realize what you were saying was that he wasn’t the father and you wanted to make him the father?
i’m super glad it worked out so well/easily for your family!
Because parents rights is a VERY touchy subject. often the courts fall on their faces trying to bend over to help crappy parents keep their rights or get them back.
Thats why i suggested to have the father sign paperwork, just to make it eaiser for the courts. if you show the court “hey, this guy doesn’t want him…this guy does” there is very little left for the court to decide. However, if the father doesn’t say anything or worse, speaks against it, then you have a long, drawn out court case on your hadns and honestly…the vast majority of the time, the parent keeps their rights.
Very few states allow for removing parental rights without a lot of double triple and quadruple checking to make sure it’s the right thing to do. It’s actually an argument a lot of children’s rights advocates are fighting for…saying sometimes we don’t need to give these ppl 5-6-7 chances…sometimes it’s obvious after 1 or 2.
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I’m not sure as I live in Illinois, but I believe after a year it’s considered abandonment. Also, I believe you have to put notification in the newspaper or try to make contact to let him know your intentions, but I could be wrong. Good luck!!! I had to do that to change my kids last names.
All we did since father wasn’t on birth certificate. Went to attorney General filled out acknowledge of Paternity form and sent it in to the state (Tx). Attorney General told us everything we needed to do. We received new birth certificate and Ss card with name change. We had to pay a few state fees but that was it!!
Best bet is to just contact a lawyer and ask 
Get a lawyer. Talk to a few of them and see what they say.
I would say contact a lawyer
Depending on the state 
my husband has raised my son who’s now 5 since he was 5months old… no dad on the birth certificate and never has had any contact at all… we went to the court house filed the paperwork for it … we had to post in the paper looking for so and so and put the court date and stuff and if he doesn’t show he loses rights even though he doesn’t truly have any and then the adoption can continue once they do a home study and talk to my husband about why he wants to and stuff
Best to contact a lawyer for accurate information.
You need to go see an adoption attorney where you live…
Honestly he might be able to acknowledge paternity and put himself on the birth certificate
Every states rules differ. Contact a family attorney. Since Bio Dad hasn’t been involved much, the process should be pretty straight forward.
You need to go see an attorney! Period! Just because bio dad isn’t on the birth certificate doesn’t mean your husband can sign and take over. I’m saying this because you need to go through this the legal way that won’t bite you in the but. If bio dad came back in some years wanting to see the child and finds out he has a new last name, he could get an attorney and that would be a HUGE mess!!
If he’s not on the birth certificate then therefore his bio dad has no rights by law. I would go talk to an lawyer asap and see if your husband can adopt him. I don’t think any of us really know the law that well.
He can’t. NOT without his biological fathers consent.
Try n get biological dads rights terminated then try having your hubby adopt him
I would talk to a family lawyer but I believe that he should be able to sign an acknowledgment of paternity form and file it to have him added as the father. I’m sure, as said above, all states have different rules though.
It’s different everywhere. I’m in michigan and for my hubby to adopt my daughter we have to get consent from bio father, we have to live in our county and be married for one year. We have to pay for a home study then the fee to the state.
You could call a lawyer
In Some states, if the parent hasn’t had contact with the child or tried to have contact in at least a year. You can ask the judge to take away his rights, and then your husband can adopt. OR just ask the bio dad to sign over rights. I adopted my “step” daughter a couple years ago. Even though we could have had them taken away. She was willing to sign over her rights.
Your husband is his dad. A dad isn’t always the man that makes the baby. It’s the man who loves, provides, provides emotional support etc.
Contact a lawyer. They can tell you more specifically. I think since the bio father isn’t on the BC, doesn’t pay child support etc it will be much easier. Judges like kids having 2 legal parents.
He has to establish parental rights then relinquish them. Good luck with that
My father isn’t on my BC and it’s caused massive issues for me. Your child can be adopted by your partner and still have their biological father on their BC. I absolutely suggest doing this before the bio dad passes away…
My husband adopted our three oldest in illinois. There’s options for it here. Should get a lawyer for it.
Have you tried just asking the Bio dad if he would sign off on the paper work? And tried to be civil for the sake your son? He may do it if you ask so he can understand it from your perspective. If he’s absent he probably wouldn’t care
Its different here in Scotland. If you are not married and the biological father is not named on the birth certificate he has no parental rights unless granted them
Should be able to go and file for stepparent adoption. Since the bio father legally has no rights it really should be a smooth process
We went through my husband adopting my son in 2016 so we live in Texas might be differently where u live but we contacted our lawyer and filled out a petition to adopt and then got home study set up and once we passed home study we had a court date for adoption. Just contact a lawyer and they can get u all the correct info and paper work to get started. Ours didn’t have my sons biological father in the picture because he terminated his rights years prior to us having my husband adopt my son.
The bio dad will have to take a dna test, they have to prove paternity from someone and then that person has to sign his rights over
Idk how it works in your state, but I was told by an attorney you have to be married for at least 2 years for step dad to adopt and you have to go to court for it, they will try and reach out to bio dad cause he will have the right to oppose it so it could end up in a battle but if he isn’t involved then its not going to be THAT big of a battle, but he will have 30 days to respond about your husband adopting and if he doesn’t respond then they go on about the adoption but if he does respond then it will be up to the judge, but like I said if he’s not really involved then the judge should see fit that your child has a legal father. But set up a consultation with an attorney for family law and they can put you on the right path of doing this
We did this. Go get a lawyer. Wasn’t expensive and was fast.
Use an attorney via publication
Don’t go looking for legal advice on a Facebook page full of people. Not everyone’s experiences will be the same and what worked for one won’t necessarily work for you. Look for a legal clinic in your area. Speak with a family lawyer. Contact the courts in your hometown. They’ll be the ones to guide you through the process.
Is there an affidavit of parentage in place?
If his biological fathers name is not listed, he has NO rights unless he chooses to establish paternity. If you and your man are married, you can legally establish paternity and he can put his name on the birth certificate and even do a name change. Fees will apply
So for me… and I’m in NY…. My daughters birth cert was left open as well. No contact with bio dad. My husband just had to go down and sign an acknowledgment of paternity at the courthouse, waiving his right to a paternity test and the ability to dispute paternal responsibility. He was then added to her birth cert and we could legally change her last name at no cost.
If his name IS on the BC he will need to sign his rights away
I’m from PA moved to SC and am interested in adopting my lil boy BUT his mommas name is on certificate. We had to go about getting dads name on certificate and we changed his last name. Using custody papers from court. IV been raising him since 9 months. She hasn’t contacted us to see him at all since last March. We aren’t married yet though
You have to asked the dad to give up any rights to the child whether he has rights or not in ga that’s how it works the bio father has to sign any rights he has or would have had no matter the case.
I’m in Maryland, but in the same situation. My husband, not the biological father of my (almost) 13 year old son. His biological father is not listed on the birth certificate, he has my maiden last name and his biological father hasn’t seen him in almost 9 years, but has paid court ordered child support though the state. I called the court house and asked about the process. Assuming that your states guidelines are the same/similar, we petitioned the court for an independent adoption by a step-parent, with the biological parents rights terminated. Now, my sons biological father met us at a notary and willingly signed the papers to terminate his rights and sign my son over to my husband. It cost us $165 to file the paperwork ourselves and we’re now waiting on a hearing date with a judge. If the biological father has nothing to do with the child, simply ask him to sign his rights away. We were asked why we were going through the adoption process by some friends and family, as my husband is already the father of my son, but legally, he isn’t. If something happened to me, my son would be taken away from the man he knows as his father and loves and given to a man he doesn’t even know. It’s a legality thing for us because my husband is already dad. 
for you! Step one though, call your local courthouse and see what your states requirements are.
Since thr dad is not on the bc you can go to the courthouse n file the paperwork
I’m in Indiana. My kids were adopted by my husband. You have to have a lawyer. You have to at least make an attempt to notify the father. Step dad needs a full background check, including a dcs check for past cases. If bio dad doesn’t object (he has 30 days) then it’s an easy process from there. Ours was completed August 2019 in vanderburgh Co. Feel free to message me any questions and if your in the area here I recommend Keith Wallace. He’s amazing.
Hire an attorney. This is not something you want to tackle on your own.
In my state we had to be married a yr & a background check… took about 4-6 mths… her bio dad signed off & because he did sign i released him of back child support
guessing the bio father won’t want to pay back child support and will willingly sign over his rights.
Please consult an attorney in your state. Most offer a free consultation to see where you stand. An attorney will know the laws and regulations for your state better than armchair attorneys. Good luck Momma!
Ik that if their is no communication ( blowing off visitation ) if he don’t pay child support ( thru family Response Office ex: stops working or running away from his responsibilities u can apply for the adoption now if he’s in the child’s life and ur partner wants to adopt the other parent must agree to terminate his parental rights
Every state is very different. I’m in Ohio. Its normally easiest and cheapest to have the bio dad sign off. If he don’t sign off, go after him for court ordered child support. After he loses his license for not paying child support, and/or going to jail a few times over not paying support he will most likely sign over real quick like!!!
Call a lawyer in your state cause the rules are different in every state. But Indiana has some messed up ones on this. You can file for child abandonment the time period is very short in that state like 1 month or 2 if the other parent doesn’t make contact.
Talk to a lawyer - or legal aid society - - - Each state has different rules.
I’m fairly certain, your husband can just be added to the Birth Certificate since no one is listed.
In my case. We got a lawyer. The father willingly signed his rights over so it was fairly easy. I have heard you can petition to have rights terminated but I don’t know how that works. I am in PA.
The biological dad has to sign over rights.
Am wondering the same thing my husband been and my son’s life when he was 2 and he 8 now and has not seen his bo dad since 2015 he don’t remember his bo dad but calls my husband dad since day one am from pa
Hope all works out for u
You have to have full rights to your child in order for that to happen. Or the bio give his rights over and agree to it happening
He’s not listed on birth certificate therefore he is considered nothing, he had 6 months after birth to sign the birth certificate. It’s WAY more easier because you didn’t have him on birth certificate.
In the state of Indiana after a year of no contact, physical, or financial support it’s considered abandonment. He’s had all this time to take you to court and chosen not to go to your court house (if you don’t want a lawyer) file papers the court will give you a court date for your husband he then will tell the judge why he wants to adopt your son and the judge decided puts in the paper for 30 days if “birth” father doesn’t try to contest it you then get granted adoption.
If birth father tried to contest it, his chances of even getting to give a dna test is very unlikely & you can ask to decline it because of all this time gone by and no legal action.
In ky its no child support or contact for 6m. Not sure what requirements are needed in other states.
You need to have a lawyer and go through the courts. I am also in Indiana and the biological father was not listed on the birth certificate. Had to have a home visit with social services and go in front of a judge for the final adoption decree. This was about 15 years ago and cost in total around $900 (mostly attorney fees).
I live in Indiana and had talked to a lawyer about my husband adopting my kids from my previous marriage. You either have to get him to sign his rights away or you have to take him to court.
When my husband adopted my son The bio dad had to sign over his rights. So we had to do all the paperwork and he signed. .
Get abandament of son from real dad and yes if he does not adopt him if something happens to you then kids go in the system if real dad does not stand up so get it done go to lawyer
You’ll have to get the birth dad to sign over rights. I’m not sure if it’ll work for you to add your husband’s name to the birth certificate. Definitely seek lawyer opinion.
I’m assuming you would need to establish paternity and get him on the birth certificate and/or terminate his parental rights and then go through the adoption process
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Was there a paternity test? do you receive child support? Your husband can adopt your son however the bio father will have to sign off if there is any type of order stating that he is the father or child support is received. you will need to consult a family law attorney
Contact a lawyer. It’s different in every state, but in most after a certain amount of time, of no contact it would of been considered abandonment of his biological father.
Speak to a family law attorney in your state. They will be able to give you factual information instead of FB hearsay , because each circumstance and state is different.
Best option would be to contact a lawyer and ask if they help with adoptions. They will be able to answer the more in depth questions you have. Currently going through this in Kansas
if he’s not on the birth certificate or on child support or anything, your husband should easily be able to adopt your son. if bio dad was on the birth certificate you would have a harder time but it should be super easy since he isn’t !
It’s different in every state for the most part. From what I know, with him being his biological dad he still is his legal father. Bio dad will have to sign away his rights. The birth certificate isn’t proof of paternity nor is it a way to show you’re the parent. Regardless of him being on the birth certificate, they will probably require a paternity test from bio dad and he will have to sign away his rights. Definitely talk to a lawyer though because they will know the laws in your state best
My brother just “acknowledged” that he was my nephew’s father bc he had no father listed on his birth certificate. So since my brother told them that he was the father they just listed him as the father and changed his name. No dna or actual adoption was required
The birth father can sign a “relinquishment of parental rights”
Without that he can come back and have the adoption annulled.
The paper is pretty standard and once signed, take 90-120 to be final.
In Indiana, the biological father only has to be absent for six months for it to be abandonment.
I live in KY and my husband had to legally adopt my son. But my ex was on the BC and was/ is paying CS. I don’t know how your state operates and I know my situation was different but my ex had to sign over his rights and we had to have a separate lawyer for everyone involved. My husband had his lawyer, my son had to have one and so did my ex husband. They came and inspected our home, did a background check on my husband and spoke with my son alone about his feelings, thoughts etc etc about the adoption. It was a lengthy process and we did it in the middle of Covid on top of that so extra stressful. But well worth it. I’d definitely recommend getting in touch with a family lawyer, telling them your issue and seeing what they say. I’d love an update if possible. It’s an important thing to get done. Especially if you want your son to stay with your husband if something were to happen to you. Not sure how old your child is but he’d be sent back to his biological father, if the dad wanted him, should anything happen to you. I couldn’t stand that thought as my son didn’t know his sperm donor. I wish you luck with the process!
I would be speaking to a lawyer about this
Just have him sign his birth certificate that’s what I did I was in a similar situation no issues
Ohio here, my ex agreed to sign rights away, we paid a lawyer $600 and he filed everything for us. It only took 4 signatures and an appearance in front of a judge. Hes now listed on the BC and they changed the last name and everything in one swoop.
In Indiana if the sperm donor did sign the paternity affidavit at the hospital or the birth certificate. It’s as simple as filing the paperwork for adoption depending on what county you live in I know of a great affordable lawyer if needed for complications due to the sperm donor. If he’s un willing to sign over his rights. If he has them
And as well my oldest sperm donor didn’t sign her birth certificate so her dad and I went down the the birth certificate office, and he signed the paternity affidavit and we changed her name and he is now her dad in the eyes of the law and not just ours. FYI I live in Indiana too
My daughter is wanting to do the same. The bio father has only seen my grandson 3 times in is life …he is 5…my son inlaw has been daddy since my grandson was 4 months old…
The bio dad has to relinquish his rights before your son can be adopted by your husband
No advice but congrats and goodluck that’s awesome he wants 2 make it legal
My son was adopted by my ex husband due to the same circumstances. My sons bio dad was not on the birth certificate either but we had to establish paternity before my ex husband could adopt. Talk to a lawyer and ask all the questions.
I’m in Michigan and this was 25 years ago. His bio dad had to terminate his rights to him.
But either way your son knows who his dad is 
Talk to a lawyer. Here in AZ doesn’t matter if bio dad is not on the birth certificate you still have to go to court to sever his rights.
If no one is on the birth certificate (and you also married so nobody will even question it ) just have him sign acknowledgment of paternity there’s no need to adopt him . The biological father doesn’t have rights as of right now and being as though he’s not actually active in his life I don’t think anybody is gonna contest it anyways
No consent is necessary in a stepparent adoption if any one of the following four circumstances apply:
The noncustodial parent has abandoned the child for more than six months.
The noncustodial parent has failed to support the child for more than one year or failed to make court-ordered child support payments.
The noncustodial parent has failed to significantly communicate with the child for more than one year.
The noncustodial parent is unfit to parent the child. Issues such as drug abuse, mental illness or imprisonment may indicate unfitness.
Indiana here. Get a family law lawyer. Process can go very quickly if you help it along. Step parent has to do background check, fingerprints, and submit some forms. Have to sign papers to file with indiana state registry and give bio time to respond. Doesn’t matter if he’s not listed on birth certificate. Still have to go through all the processes. Then present in front of judge, and judge approves. Get new ss card and birth certificate with new dad name. Whole process less than a year if process goes smoothly. Good luck to you!
I brought an adopted daughter into our marriage. When I adopted her, I had to pay an attorney, but DCFS reimbursed me. My hubby adopted her after marriage. We hired the attorney I used before’s Paralegal (the attorney suggested it). It is a fairly simple process. Good luck!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can my husband adopt my son? - Mamas Uncut
My husband adopted all 3 of my older children. Seek a family law and adoption attorney. Because your husband is step dad it will be easier. The attorney can explain the process. It went quick for us. We began the adoption in February and it was final in March. Good luck!
My husband adopted my son a few years ago. His bio dad had never paid any child support and had never been consistently involved with my son. When we decided to go to court we hadn’t had any contact with him for years, even though he only lived like 10 minutes away. He was served papers and never showed up to court to contest the adoption.
another option is to become legal guardian, which doesn’t sever parentcy, but does give the guardian control.
Just have your husband sign his birth certificate than you get a new birth certificate and SS your son with his last name
A family law lawyer should be able to tell u what u need to do in your state. Most of the time u can ask questions without paying, but you will more than likely need one to proceed anyway. Good luck to you
Indiana adoption law has provisions by which a stepparent can adopt a child without the consent of the noncustodial, biological parent. No consent is necessary in a stepparent adoption if any one of the following four circumstances apply: The noncustodial parent has abandoned the child for more than six months.
What if you don’t know who the father is & there’s like 5 possibilities but you have no clue who the mend named even are??? I’ve always wondered that…and no that doesn’t apply to me…blame Maury for these thoughts lol