I’ve been with my spouse for over three years; we’ve had our issues since day one. However, we have gotten through them together. We now have an adorable four-month-old who is both of our priorities, however after having our child iv been extremely self-conscious, and iv tried talking to him about it, but it seems like he doesn’t understand or just doesn’t care… we haven’t had any sort of intercourse in well over seven months, he will literally play video games all day or play on his phone. We had our first weekend of just us since he’s gone back to work, and he literally hasn’t paid any attention to me; it’s been phone and video games… I have talked to him about it, but it doesn’t seem to get through his thick skull. I don’t think he’s having an affair or anything along those lines; I’m just tired of feeling like I’m not attractive in his eyes anymore. I’ve started working out while our child is napping throughout the day, so I get in 1.5hrs a day, and he doesn’t even realize it…Anyone have any tips or ideas for 1) attempting to bring up my self-esteem 2) another approach for the spouse to see how I’m feeling? Or anything really
Leave he’s got somebody else
talk to him about it, make him understand how you’re feeling. if he’s playing video games all day or playing on his phone, i hope he’s atleast being a good dad. don’t beat yourself up, it’s not your fault mama
What you need to figure out asap is if he doesn’t understand or doesn’t care as you mentioned. There is a world of difference. One is work it out vs. the other meaning walk away.
I would try couples counseling. If he’s not willing to go, go to a couple of single sessions.
7month no sex…yea that doesnt happen hes getting it from somewhere js. And to boot not helping your self esteem hes your husband hes supposed to help you and make you feel like the best thing since sliced bread…I would say ultimatum counciling or leave it’s not going to get better the lack of effort and communication from his part isnt good.
Ask him if he wants sex with you?? Lol, put it right out there. Tell him u are interested. I know it’s silly but better to figure it out than to wonder
Either put up with it or dont. Your call.
My saying is that if he isn’t getting it from me, he’s getting it somewhere else. Could be just be porn and masturbation but no sex for 7 months is not normal. Maybe try counseling. I’m also suspicious as hell and will absolutely look through that all important phone if my husband isn’t paying attention to me and spending more time on his phone.
One thing about this page is: you will automatically get comments that he’s cheating over so many different issues.
Look a lot of people suck and cheat but not every single guy out there.
There are other issues that cause men not to have sex. He could be overwhelmed, in a state of deep depression, under immense stress, low testosterone, I mean I could literally go on and on. There are so many reasons a guy can lose their drive.
Not every guy is cheating because they aren’t having sex.
Have you tried seducing him?
Just gonna be honest here; it definately sounds like there’s an issue but there’s no telling what that issue is because we don’t know him or you.
I think at this point you need to talk to him. Tell him specifically what you want and need from him.
When you say you feel insecure some men interrupt that as you want to be left alone.
That’s part of the problem, there’s all kinds of advice out there but more and more frequently it’s tellin men to leave the woman alone unless she makes the move…otherwise they get told they’re doing something wrong.
Now having said that, only you know what all has gone on in the last 7 months.
Sit down and have a heart to heart.
Try counseling. If he won’t go then you still go. It’s healthy.
Make time for dates just the two of you. A new baby can be hard on any relationship. It’s a stressful yet amazing transition but it can be more difficult for men.
I say this…worry about you first. Do you have any interests? Find some support people who will talk you UP and start doing activities thst help your self esteem. Spend more time with friends & family. And if you see no or little effort on his part to interact with you as a partner, then let your support people help you move on from thst relationship. He sounds depressed also, but the lack of effort to fix things is what worries me. Don’t worry for now about him. You save yourself, and hopefully he’ll get out of the pool too before he drowns! Good luck!
Start by helping your self , your baby is only 4 months and for the last 13 months or so it’s only been about the baby. When you feel yourself again . If your a clothes /makeup/jewellery/dress up /dress down kinda a girl . You will start doing the small things that will make you feel better but it will take time and do it for you .And for the other part ,life gets in the way no matter what you do. But as you feel better in your self things will settle down and you have just got a new path in life to follow .
You need to get pretty and dolled up FOR YOURSELF learn to love urself for you . And once he sees you glowing with confidence and self love you will definitely draw his attention without even having to do a single thing.
Maybe try and find out if he’s depressed or not feeling himself too. It very well could be more about his feelings about him instead of his feelings about you.
First, get fit for yourself. Don’t try and improve yourself for anyone, you’ve just had a baby. Second, if his not willing to talk about what is going on between you then you really need to think if you want to stay and put up with that and whatever else, or start thinking how you can make a life for you and your baby xx
Men experience PPD too. Escaping into a fantasy game world would be preferable to all the negative thoughts and feelings that come with depression. Take him to therapy. Lay out an ultimatum if you have to. Get help or leave. Whatever it takes.
Maybe he,s found out that’s how u make babies,and he don’t want no more of them ,big responsibly and cost out of the butthole
Post partum happens to men also, a lot of changes, new baby! He sounds depressed. you are self conscious and have no self confidence he sees this, when your not confident he knows it. Confidence is a turn on for most men. Be frank with him tell him how you feel.
Ask him point blank why he doesn’t seem interested in sex. Some men are freaked by seeing baby born & your stretched lady parts, some see the pain you went through in labor & delivery & don’t want to do anything to hurt you, some are weirded out having sex with someone who is a mother. Throw out these ideas & see what he says. He could also be having medical issues and afraid to deal with them. Be calm, non-judgmental and non-accusatory, and just say you are concerned about him. You might have to unplug things to get his undivided attention.
Ask him what about being a dad bothers him. I’d say scares him, but men hate admitting they are scared. He could be going crazy over money, responsibility, the lifelong aspect of parenthood, the sheer exhaustion, and his gaming etc. is to escape from thinking about it.
Men have been taught to stifle feelings and to not show any weakness, so have trouble expressing themselves when something bothers them. Plus they think they have to solve everything by themselves, so “go into their cave.”
Go to marriage counseling as they are trained to get info out of men & help you both find solutions. Maybe he’d feel better with a male counselor.
Every day write down 3 good things about you and 3 things for which you are thankful. Re-read your list often. Get out of the house and spend time with people who love you. Ask them for 3 of your best qualities and 3 things that make you physically beautiful. Write these in your journal too. It’s OK to write things more than once. If people keep saying the same things, ask them, “Besides _______, what do you think are my most beautiful traits?”
Do things that make you feel good about yourself. Yoga, meditation, mantras, dressing up & going out with friends, a spa day at home or out, a new haircut, a new outfit, going to church, whatever. Definitely spend time with friends and other mothers in person. Learn to love yourself from within no matter what hubs or others think/do. This is hard when you’re young, so keep at it.
BTW, having a baby makes you brave, awesome & is your superpower.
Good luck. Even if despite all this the marriage disintegrates (work at it at least a year), the self love, insights, knowledge & good habits are yours to keep forever!
Also, if you can casually ask one or two of his friends and family if they think something is bothering him because he is withdrawing into his electronics so much lately, see what they say.
If they are uncomfortable tell them you want the truth no matter how cringeworthy. If you then want to cry after hearing what they tell you, say thanks, leave & go cry somewhere else. Most people don’t want to hurt your feelings and you want them to be honest with you in the future too.
Do not rely on a man to make you feel worthy. Make changes for yourself honey. Work out, get a babysitter and go to the gym. Maybe enroll in one and get a training person to help with a routine to do. Manage what you eat. Get your hair cut so very manageable . Get it frosted maybe. I loved mine when I did that. Makeup even if you staying home. Check yourself in the mirror an see WOW. Get a job to meet other people and get a child care person for a 4 mo old. Show him you can be independent, still take care of your baby and meet other people in your job. Can be overwhelming to be the soul provider with a baby for your husband. Show him what strength you have!!! He might turn a 180.
3 options:
Just do you! Work on your self image, self worth and pretend like you are already single. One day he will snap out of it and when he sees you again… he’ll do a double take on his own reality.
Gamers are addicted to gaming, it’s a whole other world for them… Try to reach him by playing a game with him…see what game he’s playing and just put yourself in his world. Maybe if you do it consistent enough he’ll feel your lack of presence in the virtual world and look for you in the real world. 
Get counseling.
You need to want to do it for yourself. My clothes haven’t been updated since 2016. I had my first son in 2017 and I have only now in October 2019 decided that I needed new clothes. Since then my self esteem has gone up and I have started working out and getting in shape because I’m happier and more motivated.
My husband and I are currently going through this, we decided to live seperately, we have a 4 almost 5 month old, we’ve been apart a week, and so far it seems to be working. It has helped us reflect seperatly and helped us focus on the kiddos well beings. Its rough, I’ll admit, but its really good. We’ve been together almost 5 years now, and we have major issues, but not focusing on him not focusing on me has helped me focus on me and my kids and I am so much happier, we still love eachother, but we needed to breathe. There are tons of articles to help. I’m 23 and never thought this could be me, but it is, I accept it. Believe me hun, I was in the exact same situation.
They say first 7 are the hardest,date night
Learn to love yourself, his love will follow 
Love Dare Book challenge,
Fireproof movie
There is no worse feeling then wondering if your spouse is attracted to you or if there interested in someone else. But women have a very strong and reliable intuition, and we have it for a reason. It keeps us safe and strong. If you believe he isn’t cheating then I would trust your instincts. With that being said, a body in motion stays in motion, a body at rest stays at rest. Meaning, he may have become “lazy” and can’t break the cycle. People easily become complacent and stuck in a rut. But if you can motivate him to break the cycle of video games, cell phone, and routine, then maybe he will get his energy back. Also he may be depressed and not even realize it. If he’s into video games maybe take a date night to an adult arcade. Draw him out of the house to do something fun that would interest him. And start planning things that will breath life back into each of you. After having a baby it’s easy to get imprisoned in your home and routine. Just always remember to stay in motion. Good luck, I understand your pain and I believe you will be ok.
I don’t feel like you need to talk to him at all about your self esteem. Only you can change that. The last thing you should do is completely ignore him!! Write how you’re feeling in a letter to him. That way he can read it and know how you feel without feeling like he’s put on the spot. Make sure there’s as much positive stuff as negative. As with any relationship, you get out what you put into it! Do as much for him as you want done for you. Little things make the biggest difference! And as someone suggests, get a sitter, go to a hotel even for one night, just for a change and relax! I’ve been married over 30 years😉
2 wrongs won’t make a right!! I promise you that!! Love you !!! But stop trying, then he will be who wonders!never, ever feel not good enough!!! You are!!!
Its actually kinda normal unfortunately! Lots of men get jealous over the new baby! Make sure u don’t give ALL ur undivided attention to the baby! U need to give him extra attention now more than ever! Sounds like he’s feeling left out and just escaping with video games and his phone! Its a balancing act and I know ur exhausted from being a new mom but if u don’t start making him a priority he will only get more distant and u need him now more than ever!!
I can not give you advice about your marriage. But I can tell you, you will be far more successful if you are doing it for you and not just to attract his attention. You’ll also be far less disappointed. You won’t worry about weither he notices or not… Because you will notice. Celebrate milestones. He will notice there is something different about you…
If you can swing it financially and find some one to watch the kids for a bit…I would get a blingin’ Mani/pedi and a nice massage…maybe an herbal wrap. They have all kinds of wonderful spa treatments out there. And investing good quality essential oils are wonderful if you do not have allergies. Anything to feel better.! I also love Cardi B…just listening to he is a great Energizer! Also maybe gather up some awesome friends and have a girl’s night out at the local Hip Hop club. If he gets to do the video games nonstop …then you should get to do some innocent clubbing with the ladies and shake your tailfeathe! Some good self care and new interests hopefully will spark him up.
Don’t even try to get his attention, he is letting you know he’s not interested so, even it’s really hard and painful, just get out of that "relationship " you deserve BETTER.
I’d be straight forward. 7 months is a long time to not be intimate. Maybe clearing the air about whatever is going on will make you both feel better.
Most people that’s been together for awhile struggle, it take two to make thing work. In saying that I like to surprise my hubby, with a hot bath before dinner after a long day at work, or dress up sexy waiting for him to come through the door. Idk but I talk to him on his way home and it depends on what kinda mood he’s in. Also in return when I work on weekends he does the same for me, dinner clean house ect…it take two to make thing work
Start ignoring him, completely.
just my opinion…i think youre doing all you can to keep the spark going. i was in a relationship similar to what you described and its a dead end. he was a narcissist. everything was about him and when he didnt get his way he shut down. ignored me. it was awful. im no longer with him thank god!! we do have a daughter together but im married now to a normal guy. i do think if youre determined to work it out then suggest counceling. if hes not into it then youve wasted enough time.
99% of men aren’t picky about how you look naked. Being naked is the sexy part. Wear something that makes you feel confident and sexy. Initiate the intimacy by doing something that he has always asked you to do, but you’ve been too shy to do (lap dance, etc). Men are a little like women in that sometimes they just want us to be confident and go for it! He may feel discouraged trying to make the initiation and getting rejected or something. Remember that intimacy will not be there 100% of the time in any relationship. I hate the advice of “if you don’t love each other don’t waste your time.” Love is working hard on your relationship even when they’re being unlovable. Counseling may help if he agrees to go. Many couples have specific things that are making things difficult, so I can’t say a specific book might help. Remember, you’re the only one who can feel confident in yourself. It comes from inside. If you’re proud of working out, then be proud! Show him your new body and own your intimacy and love life! We can only change ourselves, so don’t expect him to change. If this is the man you married and he hasn’t changed, I don’t know what to tell you. But I’m sure you got married for a reason. Rekindle the relationship with The Love Dare, counseling, or initiate some intimacy!
It is not you, it is him. Why he is behaving this way? You need to know before the distance grows between you. If he won’t talk to you, suggest marriage counseling, and if he refuses, let him watch the baby while you talk to a therapist. Keep working on yourself for you not him. You are fine, he has a.problem.
If you’ve talked to him but he still doesn’t listen I’d do the same to him. What do you normally do for him? Let him wash his own laundry. Make him fix himself dinner. If he doesn’t care about your needs then why care about his.You should come first before a stupid game. I’ve been married 8 yrs and my husband and I have sex at least twice a week. We both work so we get tired. Even on days we dont have sex we still cuddle or acknowledge each other.
Dress nicely change your hair , so things differently, let him wonder , man hate to be ignored, no because this is military related or not man are man , and there’s a point where we fall into the daily routine and forget to give each other those lil doses of love and affection until this becomes part of a Boeing routine , get sexy on and let him wonder
I would try marriage counseling . A woman’s body does change after a baby but it’s all good . Embrace those curves ! Tell yourself you love yourself look at what you like. And no one is perfect believe me. I’m 50 now and I have embraced my mature self. I’ll never look like I did in high school but then I’m not supposed to. Also enjoy some hobbies , learn something new and if hubby doesn’t get it together it may be time to go on your own way . I did when my daughter was 3 now been with my current husband 23 years . It’s ok if things don’t work out you can still go parent too. Our child did well. She’s in medical school and I’m remarried and happy. You got this just carve out the kind of life you want for you and your child . Be strong . Beauty comes in all shapes , sizes , colors and ages
I would have you parents or in laws watch your kids for a night. Then when her gets home tell him yall need to talk and some things need to change lay it on him straight. Let him know how you feel and dont leave anything out. Always be 100% with your spouse. After that if he still doesn’t change and he still refuses to acknowledge you go stay with your parents a friend or get a hotel take the kids with you. Most importantly you need 5o realise that your body is not gross your made a life and it’s hard work. If he doesn’t want you anymore because your body has change bringing his child into the world then it’s his problem and if he is going to treat you like that then he doesn’t deserve you. Edit: oh and ps. Dont be afraid to get mad. Put your foot down and tell him you deserve better.
Dealt with this for 10 years. You cant make someone love you, no matter what you do, say, buy for them. Tell them how you feel and what you want and if they dont change in a short amount of time, dont waste years of yours on them
Put on some sexy shoes (for your self esteem)… Then shove him down on the couch/bed/wherever and sit on his face.
He has a gaming problem. He needs to learn how to turn off the games and turn on his wife.
You gotta make yourself feel better. Make yourself like good to you
Talk openly
Is it possible he knows how exhausting having a newborn is and maybe thinks you are tired (aka too tired for sex)
Different love language maybe, you want verbal compliments and he wants an invitation?
Be comfortable with yourself first.
Second, if you don’t think it’s a cheating issue then initiate some intimacy. Straight up go stick ur boob in his face when he’s on his phone or grab his face and kiss him, fondle him, tell him you love him. Us females aren’t the only ones that want that attention.
Third, if that doesn’t start something then ask him what’s going on. Maybe he’s dealing with some stuff and doesn’t know how to approach you then go from there.
Going thru same feeling
I would suggest marriage counseling
You dont feel comfortable in your own skin and he can feel it. Work out, play with make up, play with different style of clothes what ever it takes to help you feel good about yourself. Once you find your confidence and your sexiness it will show and attract your man. Also counseling helps too.
Be blatant. Put something sexy on that you feel attractive in and seduce him. Many men are completely oblivious. Have a talk and agree to put phones and electronics away one day a week and focus on each other. Make it a date night. Relationships take work. They dont just “happen” to us, they are something we have to actively participate in. Maybe he needs reminding. You too. Give it your all and talk things through.
Be blunt about it. Tell him you want sex. Grab him by the junk. If he says no, rhen there is definitely a problem of some sort. COMMUNICATION is key. Sometimes they are just too stupid 
Why stay if he’s not happy you can’t make anyone love you or treat you right if its not what they want my best advice hunny is to just leave you know that saying you don’t realize what you had till its gone well there you go but if nothing then stay gone you can do way better hun hugs and know you are worth it in the right mans eyes you just have to wait and see what is in store for you
Kids grow up and move out, your spouse is there forever. Both of you were there for each other before the child. Since when did the priority change?
ok Ladies… you are all talking like the guy is a jerk… well… I can see it if it’s the video game… however… you women had a baby growing inside you… and a lot of you didnt have the complete show of what happened during birth… it’s a fact that some men have a difficult time after their women give birth you went through the physical part of it… however the guy went through the psychological part of it… you talk about how bad the physical part is… think about how you would feel to see the one you love most in as much pain as you ladies claim it is… think about not being able to do anything about it… think about getting yelled at everytime you tried to help… and then knowing a baby came out of your vagina and not being able to comprehend how that could possibly heal that fast… you all joke about how long it take a man to heal from a cold… lol… now as I said if the interest is the video game… that’s one thing …and he is a jerk… but you also said your baby is 4 months old… I agree with some of the ladies… remove the game… at least until you can actually talk… and if he won’t talk… then leave
Keep working on your self and bring up ur self esteem, keep talking to him, u can make the first move too. Sometimes men get caught in a routine, too. If all fails, go to couples therapy. Don’t give up until all fails.
Start going out. Dress up. Meet the girls for drinks. They get way more interested when you’re out feeling good.
Keep working on yourself, girl! You are awesome! Get yourself a nice toy and tell him if he’s not gonna enjoy your body you are. Also, idc if you are on birth control please make him wrap up if he decides to be intimate because unless you know he’s masterbating you can’t know he’s not getting it somewhere else and you dont wanna catch nothing.
That way if you decide you two are done then you can get out clean and beautiful .
Working out and doing something for yourself is the best way to boost your self esteem! It’s not about what he thinks, it’s what you think and what you feel.
With that being said, I was married to someone who never paid attention to me…we had sex maybe once a month if I was lucky. He was not a talker…wouldn’t discuss things. I would literally get out of the shower and go sit on his lap (naked) and he would push/slide me off of him so he could play his xbox. It crushed me.
Hate to tell you, that ended in divorce. We tired…we’ll I tried counseling. But if the other party doesn’t put in effort, you can fix issues when only one person is trying. But try anyway! Try multiple different things! I tried for 2 years before divorce. Always try first and then see where it goes.
He’s not a bad guy. He’s a great dad now that we are divorced. He’s remarried, I’m engaged to someone else and we all get along great and are happier apart. The main part is, do what is best for yourself and your child. And I can’t stress this enough, never hold that baby against him or use her as a pawn. She deserves two happy parents, and two involved parents.
Not at all saying this will happen to you. But I’ve been there. I wish you all the best! 
I dont know I feel like once that spark is gone you can’t make someone show they care unless u take a little break k and maybe abcence will make the heart grow fonder as they say. I just know how my boyfriend treats me… He randomly tells me he loves me, randomly says he never wants to lose me… He says those things because he feels them and says them when they come into his head. You can’t make someone feel those things. Once u have to start asking someone to care I think it’s too late. I was with my ex 8 years and he wasn’t too affectionate to begin with i just knew I couldn’t make him act the way I needed to be treated
If hes not happy with you leave. I’ve been self conscious since elementary school and I’ve tried everything fixing that.
Jesus. Yall just throw away relationships instead of working on them. Sad. Be direct and make him listen before you listen to anyone saying to just end it. Think about you want, and if he cannot provide it THEN it is worth reevaluating. My boyfriend has to be told to listen sometimes. He is stressed out a lot and uses his gadgets as stress relief. Sometimes we turn to other things when we cant manage stress well.
We women need to be mindful that we’re not the only person in the relationship going through things and experiencing emotions. Not only is that happening, but our spouses/SO are also processing and enduring in ways we might not understand.
Our trials and emotions are no more significant by virtue of having carried and delivered children. The lives of our men also change, and those changes impact them just as heavily as ours do.
The two of you need to figure out a way to get BOTH sets of issues on the table so they can be worked out. Do what you must for yourself, but don’t discount the fact that he could be going through something that he may not know how to properly express.
not every relationship is worth fixing. and nobody should have to change for another person, that goes for both of you. that’s my best advice.
The best tip I can give you is to love yourself first.
Leave it alone .he wl cme round.tell him you alrdy hv a baby don’t need nther.dont cry worry or beg.tk child of your child.instinct will let you kw wn its time to move on.unhappy relationship is not Gd.for the child.your a gd.Mom🌹
Men are turned off by women who have self esteem issues. If you don’t see your worth then how will they? You need to start working on yourself. Once he sees the change in attitude he will want to be part of it. This is all banking on the fact he’s not seeing anyone else of course
Sometime guys need reminding LOL I have been married 14 years and we have 5 kids. I say find a babysitter and buy something sexy to wear and remind him what he has been missing 
Every relationship is gonna have problems that does not mean you just throw it away!
Get rid of the video games and gaming console. Trust me after 22 yrs my husband spends more time on that damn thing then me even after 5 kids 3 miscarriages and nearly dieing 3 times yet he always has time for his console
After reading this, it made me think about my own marriage. My wife and I have been together for 17 years. We have had our ups and downs and we have always gotten through them. After the birth of our children it wasn’t just her that was going through issues about feeling desirable, it was me too.As the husband I now come second place to my children. That was a huge adjustment. For me,I had to take her feelings into account, that she had a new life to take care of and raise and be responsible for. If your marriage is anything like mine, this will pass. Just my two cents from a guy who is happily married and loves his wife more every day.
You’ve guys had problems since day one. There is no fixing something like that. You guys can be friends for your child’s sake, but honestly that’s the only relationship I suggest you guys have. If it bugs you now, it will always bug you. Best to rip the band aid off now and expect that maybe he isn’t the one.
Throw the video games out the window. When my fiancé and I got together I told him his gaming life is done. I don’t sit, im always going especially with two girls to take care of. It’s been close to 4 years together and his computer is collecting dust and he even said he doesn’t know where he found time to be gaming when there’s so much to do during the day between work and having a family. We play the Switch as a family on cold rainy days but when it’s warm out we are all outside from the time we get up till dinner time.
Why would u want this out there just saying
I agree with most of these. Even though it’s best to try to save ur marriage sometimes u just can’t and u need to think about that child too. Staying together in misery isn’t good for the child at all. Another thing that could be happening is maybe he’s addicted to porn. If he doesn’t want it from u and he’s not cheating maybe he’s just being a selfish piece of shit taking care of his own needs. It’s human nature to have the need for sex, take care of urself. Another problem could be he’s low on testosterone and has no drive. Depending on how old he is. Sometimes u just gotta think of ur own happiness too. I hope it works out for u and I’m sorry that ur going through this
May be he is cheating on you
I just went though this
My sons 8 weeks old.
We had sex maybe twice during my pregnancy and once after.
I told him how I was feeling so self conscious his response
“I was just used to you not feeling good, I know you’re feeling bad lately I didnt want to make you feel like there was pressure”
Your hubby may just be giving you space. Go buy something you feel comfortable in. Valentines day is right around the corner do something romantic together. Ask to play video games with him or sex card games 
. Send him a dirty pic while hes using his phone. Be spontaneous. easier said then done I know. Sit on his lap and talk to him that’s what I do with my SO. Good luck momma I hope it works out for you 
Soooo much going on here.
1st - “Problems from the beginning” Probably should have paid attention to the red flags waving back then. A relationship is NOT supposed to make your life difficult. While problems will arise in a relationship that need worked out, if you can’t even get along from ‘the beginning’ what were you even thinking getting married or having a baby with this guy?
You need to sit down and have a conversation with yourself about seeing the reality of things instead of how you want to see things.
Either way, super past that now… So…
-
A whole lot of crazy has been going on in your lives, pregnancy changes the dynamic of your relationship and then babies change the dynamic again.
Sitting down and discussing how these changes affect the unit, the expectations both of you have and how to handle them. Divide the responsibility so everyone has an active role and feels cared for and happy. -
Make him prioritize you.
“Why Sir, Did you get a wife and kid if you didn’t want a wife and kid?”
Wives and kids are a life time responsibility. They are the ultimate responsibility. They require near constant attention and care. If you aren’t ready or willing to provide near undivided attention DO. NOT. GET. A FAMILY.
A lot of people just have a narrow veiw of what it really means to be in a relationship, “it’s just what your supposed to do”, they don’t think or prepare for what that actually means.
It’s a lot like getting a pet.
You pick the perfect person you want to live for, and then you live for them. Yes they are autonomous and also responsible for the relationship/life, but you should always look at this as 100% your responsibility. You literally signed up to take care of and make these people your #1 priority.
They depend on you for love and cuddles and understanding and affection and attention and basic necessities, for partnership, and support, guidance, the works.
Vows. Ya know. You literally promised your LIFE to this.
What do I do when I feel like I’m being ignored? Turned into a care taker? Treated like furniture? I throw a nuclear tantrum until I feel like I’m heard.
I throw more shade than an atomic mushroom cloud.
3 year olds have NOTHING on me.
We are either in this together and we are both happy or we are both miserable AF. Partners remember?. I will not be ignored. I will not be pushed aside. I will not be your Mother.
Best way to handle it? IDK but I do know it works. 
You did NOT make vows to that [Gaming system of choice].
You did NOT create a person with that iPhone.
You didn’t promise to love or honor or stand by any of your buddies, in sickness or in health, in front of [Diety of choice here], and all of your family and friends.
You did your spouse tho.
Remind him.
- It takes 2.
You cannot force him.
You can remind him of the promises he made, the responsibility and love he agreed to give you when he married you.
You can put your foot down and demand to be treated with the respect and care you deserve.
But you can’t make him.
So if he is just not willing to put in the effort. To stay true to his vows and his words, Take care of the family HE helped create.
If he chooses to be a deadbeat… That’s on him and You then have a decision of your own to make, is this how you want to live? or are going to leave, and love yourself and baby instead?
Good Luck 
I dont normally post advice on these. But I connect to the question. Espiecally since I have a 4 month old and it’s hard adjusting to my new version of mom bod.
1st. Some of you women are so wrong and should have never commented in the first place. Asking why she hasn’t left. Or that her relationship is failing. Like you are suppose to be lifting her up not dragging her down. Danm.
- To the woman who submitted that question. Having a baby is draining. And then you body changes. Your breast arent as perky. Your have stretch Mark’s in places they didnt exist. And I get it. The one person who is suppose to find you beautiful dosent seem interested. Let me tell you this. And what I discovered. My bf never stopped losing attraction in me he thought I was losing it in him. I stopped loving my self. I stopped taking care of me needs and in turn I stopped being there for him. When I started becoming more confident in me so did he. It’s like a snowball effect. Any who. Also be cheeky. Send him dirty pictures on his phone. Or text messages that describe how much you need him. Play video games with him. You arent the only one in the relationship. He has feeling to. And I imagine hes struggling as well. And needs alot of the same things you do. Men have a harder time processing emotions and stuff. So you just got to be creative. One thing I done recently that honest changed us alot was asking my honey one simple question. “What do I do that makes you feel loved”
Say good bye and walk he an idiot, irresponsible and i don’t believe it will get any better because he is a selfish asshole and it won’t get any better. Trust me been there done that.