How can my husband and I get out of the roommate stage?

Hey y’all my husband and I have been together a little over 4 years now and we’ve already lost the spark and become “roommate” status. We have 1 child together with no outside support! We have 2 other kids so all of our weekends are filled with them. It’s ok, I truly don’t mind and love the kids but we never have any time to ourselves. Never have date nights. Never go out and I can’t change that - none of us can as of now but just wondering of some ideas that we can do to fix this and get out of this rut

9 Likes

Plan a date in. Get the kids in bed, order dinner/make something special and watch a movie together.

Dare nights in?! Just have a nice meal together, watch movies, play games etc

1 Like

If you cant get out bring date night to your house ! Games , movies , dinner at the table , showers , flirting during the day , cuddles at bedtime, quickies .

How old are the two other kids? Can they watch the little one while mommy and daddy fix something in the bedroom?

Sleep naked, even if you don’t have the energy for sex, skin on skin contact will bring you closer together.

Sexy pics, new toys (and not for the kids):wink: maybe some new lingerie…

1 Like

Day dates :heart: spend time with each other while the kids are at school

1 Like

Ive been there, my husband and i have been married 35 yrs its not easy. We had to make a point for date night or an outing. We didnt have no extra money early in our marriage . We did little things , like grab food or maje stuff and go up on his grandfathers land and watch the sun set. Or drive around the lakes on the motorcycle grab food and eat at the park. Sometime it was camping up on grandparents land with the kids . If you dont have someone to watch the kids . See if a freind that has kids you swap with them to watch there kids for them to have a date night

My hubby and I do Date nights after the kiddos r in bed. Some nights it’s pizza and video games,some nights it’s wines and lingerie, movie nights with junk food and soda…all it takes is effort.

We have 5 kids. We do date nights at home after the kids go to bed. We pick whether we are cooking at home (trying a new recipe) or buying take out.

2 Likes

When u find out let me know we are kinda there that’s how it feels

1 Like

Date night at home. My partner and I have been together 10+ years, and have 3 children. Fancy date nights or dinner out is very very rare, so we put the kids to bed and watch a movie together in our room. Snugs and snacks.

Keep texting each other throughout the day … fun friendly txts and daring sexy ones to. Don’t choose the same night every week or it will become a chore but make sure to pick at least one where you work together to get the kid(s) asleep and actually put 100% effort into doing something together. Communicate with each other about daily affection, whether it’s setting the alarm 5 minutes early to hold each other before getting up, or random kisses throughout the day, and always remember to say I love you as much as possible. I think all relationships go though these kind of stagnant phases especially when kids are involved but yous can pull out of it I’m sure!

2 Likes

Hire a babysitter. If you don’t know anyone, find one at Care.com.

Instead of wearing leggings and throwing your hair in a messy bun; pull a sundress out of your closet and do your hair. This will help pull you out of your routine that you’ve slid into. Start telling your husband how handsome and sexy he is at random times. Walk into the room- look at him, smile and say something along the lines, “Damn- I can’t get over how hot you are babe. I am so glad you are all mine.” and then kiss him. Kiss him like you mean it. Not a peck on the cheek, but a full on “I love you more than anything in this world kiss”. Start out with what works best for you guys. If you don’t have a babysitter, that’s okay. Make a little hors d’oeuvres tray or a homemade charcuterie board and once the kids go to sleep spread a blanket outside of your house, townhome, apartment and just get outside away from the TV so you can actually have a conversation with each other. If you don’t have any outside support, that’s okay! If you have friends with kids, work out what’s called a kid swap- (me and my friends do this) One night a month you take all the kids so the other adults can go out on a date and you rotate turns so that you can get like 3 or 4 dates in a month and you don’t have to pay for babysitting so it leaves a little bit of extra money to save for the dates. I know this sounds cheesy, but it’s one thing that my husband loves. Hand write him a letter and mail it to him. Tell him all the things about him that you love, admire, respect and adore. It doesn’t matter if you live in the same house. It’s nice to get something in the mail that isn’t a bill.

Send him flirty messages during the day. Get his favorite snack and yours and surprise him and watch a funny movie or sit outside and play a game where you each guess the other person’s favorite food, activities etc. Enjoy your time together.

We have a 10, 9 and 3 year old, all girls. The older two understand thankfully that we like to have adult time (pretty sure they just think we play Xbox together :rofl: they’re sheltered a bit) so they will take their baby sister upstairs and play with her one night a week so we can have at home dates that don’t have to wait until after bed time. A nice dinner, a movie, you know fun stuff. All the other nights we just try and hope one of us will out last bed time.

We do late night dates. We order some food and just stay up watch a movie cuddle and stuff :face_with_hand_over_mouth:. We have also taken days off and go do stuff alone while the kids are at school. You just have to find time for each other. We have 3 kids as well so I get it.

My hubs and I ALWAYS stuck to a very strict bedtime when home so that we could have dates at home.

Date night when kids go to bed. Set up a picnic on a blanket in living room with some wine and cheese and crackers or whatever it is u like to eat and drink. Some music or whatever TV shows or movies u like. Or just talk to each other

Wish I had some advice for you. Married 16 years now and it’s been like roommates for years. I’ve just accepted it. :woman_shrugging::disappointed:

I bought my niece a book about date night ideas when she got married (it was on her Amazon registry). I kinda read some of the ideas. One idea was to get pizza and build a Lego set. So I bought them a Lego set along with the book. Thought it was a neat idea. Another idea, my husband and I also like to watch you tube music and take turns playing songs. Occasionally we will even dance to a song or two.