My husband has two small children that he get every other weekend visitation for. We have been fighting in the family court for two years to get more time like one week with the mother and one week with us.the mother refuses to agree to any more time, saying it’s enough, but twice a month is not enough time to establish a family bond. The mother’s point of view is that if he isn’t with her, he shouldn’t get to see the kids, or he should only get to see them around her. But we have been married 24 years with obviously a small separation and have four kids of our own, and the children did nothing wrong we want them in our lives too. The judge just refuses to see the father’s point of view, and now we haven’t seen the kids since July, and again the judge is like oh well any suggestions on how we should handle this we really want the kids to be in our lives as much as the mother’s life. Equal time
Request another judge
Talk to a lawyer and then go to court
Call fathers rights in your town they should be able to help
The courts will only see what benefits the children. One week yes and one week no is a bit unstable to be honest. There’s going to be some uneven time no matter how you put it.
Request a gal for the kids in court.
Something questionable. Usually custody is split 50/50. What did She say and prove that it is on the best interests of the children to spend more time with Her?
That doesn’t make sense. How could you two be together for 24 years and he has two small children?
The one week on, one week on is an awful schedule for children. Think of the children and what is best for them.
Ask for every other weekend, alternating holidays and school vacations.
Sounds like it needs to be mentioned she is using the kids as pawns in a fight with him. Shes punishing him with the kids. Shes only hurting them and the father. Get a good family lawyer.
Lets say your husband lived with her? Would you let your kids live with them half time?
If she’s been married to her hubby for 24 years, wouldn’t children from 1st marriage be adults now ? I’m confused…
I would request a new judge .
Maybe ask for a different judge or change of venue. So you can have a fresh perspective from someone completely unattached from the entire situation. Or possibly look at getting a mediator. Somehow you have to make the courts and the mother believe she is doing more damage to these children then she knows.
Get a good lawyer & get it before a different judge
Get a family lawyer that is familiar with this kind of case.
What’s best for the children is to see parents equally when they’re young and when they get older they can decide for themselves; it’s selfish to think otherwise; it’s not about you; it’s about them! Unless one parent is abusive of course!
If he pays child support go to the attorney General office they can help
My grandkids were raised in a one week with one parent, one week with the other. It worked very well
Do the kids want to live with you half of the time? It doesn’t sound like your husband is the most stable person on earth to me… he left you and started a new family then left that family and went back to you? Are you sure these are the only two families?
Get an attorney.
Some people think it’s not okay for kids to go back and forth.
So okay then why can’t he have the kids then? We as moms may have carried our babies and I don’t really want to share them with their dad 50/50 but my daughter adores her dad, loves her dad, his actions tore our family apart, but that doesn’t mean my kids are to blame. His choices were towards me and I chose different. My kids didn’t.
Ask for visits during the week.
My ex comes every other weekend for my girl and comes 2 times a week for visits for 2 hours.
That’s our verbal agreement without a judge because it’s about our children.
The adults need to stop making it about themselves.
I have joint custody of my 15 year old which I don’t mind she lives with her dad she’s happy like that she has a stepmom and a stepdad. My 2 smaller kids from my 2nd marriage I have sole custody and terminated sperm donor rights cause he is an unfit person and I proved to the judge my reasons. It’s difficult when it comes to kids but if the father in this story is fighting the courts cause he wants his kids in his life he should have his children more often it’s all about the best interest of the children and there safety
Ask for a guardian ad litem they can eval the situation on behalf of the kids. You can ask for a mediator. Or ask to change jydges
I’d request a new judge on the case.
Get a real good lawyer!!!
You have been married 24 years?
Given the circumstances, if I were the judge, I’d leave it as is. Your husband started a family and then went back with you. Are you sure you don’t want things your way to ‘stick it’ to the other mother? Plus if you get 50/50, hubby won’t have to pay child support. Does he pay child support currently?
Courts will decide and if the Dad wants to be more in their let him omg
Men get a bad wrap when it comes to custody if their children. It’s too bad too. Children need their fathers especially if they want them and are goid for them. She’s being selfish and only thinking of herself not in her kids best interest. When they are 12-14 they should be able to say where they want to stay. Sorry. This sucks.
Two years is a long time… it’s time to forget the courts and leave all the shit behind. They need to think about the well being of their children. Learn to forgive and move forward with a positive attitude… it’s not going to be easy but it can be done
yea you need a real good lawyer cause last time i checked the absent parent gets them every weekend every summer and christmas and thanksgiving you have to get a good lawyer keep looking until you find a lawyer it cost money but you will have to do it if you want time with those kids that whole thing sounds fk up keep fighting for those kids no matter what so they know dad loves them the mother is only making herself look bad by keeping those kids from there father she needs to move on pray about it cause GOD don’t like ugly the mother will get hers in the end to hell with her
Get a new husband 
Your husband was not her husband. She sees it differently. She sees him differently. They are parted no doubt for good reasons. Just try respecting that, and be happy with your life and tell hubby to do the same.
Wow my son can only get his son Sunday 9-5 because his bitch…that so unfair…what can he do? He pays child support one kid a week 180…anyone up out there to let us know what to do? Thanks
Request a different judge or consult a lawyer.
Stop bickering and do what’s right for the children not for you and him for the children
Get an attorney who specializes in family law cause that is a bunch of b.s.
You been married 24years but he has 2 small kids. 
2 years,if a court says no there’s your answer.I assume your husband works so the bulk of the time they will be with you not infact him:unamused:How small are the kids,sounds more than a small seperation.At least 2years old if youve been fighting that long therefore they will also be settled into a school routine ect…you want to disrupt that so they can come to yours,alongside your kids to be mainly in your custody not their dads??why you so desperate to watch other woman’s kids you already got four🤷🤷🤷Something’s way off here
Go to your states Attorney Generals office and report the judge. They’ll listen and most likely try to help. Fathers have rights too
Regardless on how the kids came about, a father should have the SAME rights and visitation as a mother… So what if he doesn’t have to pay child support, time spent & memories made with the children are more important… Who cares how the baby mother feels, she slept with a MARRIED man and now wants to be a Selfish Bitter B**ch because he left her to be with his wife… Karma!! Put the children 1st!!!
Sounds like a real p.o.s. dude to leave you and knock up this chick twice then leave her and get back with you. Obviously he abandoned your kids too to be with her. Real great role model. What gets me is these women who still stick by these losers. Wow.
In custody cases, you get what you pay for, don’t bargain hunt, get a very good lawyer.
Honestly I would leave it as is. You’re kind of meddling regardless of your good intentions. If I was the mother I would refuse to allow any more time and I absolutely had to because I actually am in that exact situation. However my ex was abusive so different reasons. Unless they were married there’s no reason for automatic 50/50 and to be honest with you it’s really unfair of you and selfish of you to want to ruin their routine and school life. You need to sit down and back off
First I have to ask were you letting him see your kids that much when he was with her? Second once a cheater always a cheater, she wasn’t the first won’t be the last! Third I’m all about making your marriage work and standing by your man however this is his fight not yours(karma is a bitch) fourth I’m also all for daddy having equal rights and do believe men get the shit end of the deal a lot however I don’t blame this woman at all and believe the judge is possibly choosing right doesn’t seem like he’s best example for kids last but not least if these kids are real young it may not be in there best interest to be with mom more, it’s really hard to even get over night if they’re under 5 and then should be asking for gradual increases
depends how old the children are. if they are in school and have established a routine with their mother, then switching houses every week can mess the kids up and at that point they don’t have a ‘stable’ environment. its not always about what the parents WANT, it has to be what is best for the children.
Depending if you like close you could first ask to have them for dinner one night a week and start from there. That what my ex has always done, each fortnight and one night a week untill 7pm
Follow the judge home take close up pictures of his family place said pictures in your next petition for more time. No on a serious note talk to the attorney generals office and file a written grievance on the judge. Also contact your congressman and submit a written request for intervention on your behalf.
You can set up CHILD SUPPORT payments to go to the court and not her (like rent) until the dispute is settled. Guessing it wouldn’t take long for her to change her mind if she’s not getting money.
I don’t mean to sound negative . I’l fight till i die for full custody 
2 a month is fair.Every other weekend.
She’s just using the kids to spite the man just use what ever time u have with the kids and enjoy it they will get big one day…
Sounds like she wants him in her life.
It’s sad she is using innocent children as a weapon.
Does the mother have full custody of the child?if the father has visitation rights only there nthg that can change that arrangement unless the mother can be proven unfit for taking care of the children.If the children are under 12 you can ask for a 1 afternoon visit a week from after school till 8pm.
Sounds like a fake story.
Umm every other weekend…
So sad. I wish adults could put aside all their “crap” and focus on what is best for the kids. Here is a parent who genuinely WANTS to be responsible for his kids and fully involved in raising them under these circumstances but is facing roadblocks put up by the other parent. So often you see one parent begging an absent parent to be more involved. And it’s sad to see this father has no support from the courts. Such a mess with the children stuck in the middle.
Unfortunately, if you don’t live in the same city/school district (if the children are in school), most courts won’t order the split custody unless custodial parent agrees. They believe that it creates too much instability for the children.
First consider what is best for the kids and the week to week shuffle is not a good situation. Second the mom may be the custodial parent but you need to weigh quality time versus daily routine. There’s work, school, homework time baths, bedtime, discipline and on and on. All these factors need to be taken into account, because if you don’t, the court will.
How old are the kids if they have been married for 24 years, minus a short window??The window must not have been that short. I agree. Something seems to be missing here.
This brief synopsis is not enough for anyone to give advice. Fathering children with someone else during a marriage is questionable and brings character into play. Uprooting kids every week to appease a stepparent doesn’t seem healthy or fair. Hopefully it all works out especially emotionally and psychologically for these innocent kids.
Their mother is wrong and needs to cool her jets. However, think of the kids. One week here, the next week there. Why disrupt them like that? It’s about what is good for them, not what you and their father want. They need a solid foundation and not yanked around. If you live close by a great compromise can be reached that is good for the children.
Do you live close enough that they could attend school from either residence? There seems to be something missing in this story.
I am glad that you have opened your heart to the children your husband fathered during your separation some women wont accept their boyfriends kids this right here is grown folks stuff I commend you