so when my stepson is not with my husband and me, he stays with his grandma. (his mom’s mother) his mother barely goes to visit him, does not have him living with her, but she still receives child support that does not go to my stepson. (his grandma has informed us of all of the above, and we do believe her) We are both fed up. My husband and I both want full custody of my stepson, but we are unsure of where to start. Because it’s really just “our word against the mothers.” and we’d like to have more proof. So we have been keeping him for about a month now. He still goes to stay with his grandma but only every other weekend or if she wants to take him to a fair or to the movies or something like that. his mother has not called or asked about him and still does not know that we have been doing this. We’re basically seeing how long it takes her to realize that we have him living with us. And my husband said it would help when we do take her to court. The only time she texts my husband is to ask about child support. (he got a new job, and the child support got messed up, but we’re fixing it). It makes me really frustrated because I’m not sure what else we could do in this situation to help us get custody faster than waiting a couple of months to establish a routine with my stepson. So if anyone has any ideas I could share with my husband, we would appreciate it. My step son’s mother also doesn’t ever contact her mom (my stepson’s grandma) to ask about her son or even to see him. It’s very rare that she actually does see him, and it’s usually only around the holidays so she can take him around her husband’s family. And after the holidays he’s back to living with grandma. Also, we have joint custody if that wasn’t made clear.
Go to the court applied for emergency custody and get a court date they should have a self self help thing there that you could ask questions at the courthouse and it depends on what state you’re in if you apply for custody If the child is over the age of 12 the child can state where he wants to live or she wants to live need to make sure you document everything pictures have witnesses you have to frame your case very well when you go to court and whatever you do don’t bash the mother and always remember that it’s in the best interest of your child is how you answer a question
document everything. times, dates, record it all.
Get an attorney and file in the courts.
Get a good lawyer and document EVERYTHING, not just text interactions, but any sort of correlations to providing this consistent and stable environment for your stepson (better grades, etc). Your doing a good job so far Good luck.
You need to speak to a lawyer
Go to court and file for emergency custody asap! Have the mom of stepsons mom write a note and get it notorized itll help
Does he go to school and where is he registered if he does. Get a lawyer and go to court.
Speak to a family court lawyer and check the laws in your state.
Document document document EVERYTHING times conversations dates everything!
Right now you can file an emergency order for custody, and nail her in grounds of abandonment.
Go talk to a lawyer in your state .Most lawyers will consult for free 30 minutes. On a seperate calendar keep record of everyday you have him and any events . Get Grandma on your side and ask her to write a note saying things about the child support and what Grandma thinks would be in the childs best intrest ,get it noterized (for court) . Your lawyer will guide you as to what to do next.Good luck !
Well I’d see if the Grandma would be willing to go to court with you. File for full custody and have child support abolished. If the child is not with her than she doesn’t need it.
Go to court apply for an emergency hearing n see also if her mom can back yall up on it if she told u guys more 5hen likely she may help him get fill custody
Apply for emergency custody. See if possibly her mother will atleast write a letter go the court about the mother leaving him there and never being bothered with him
You have to go back to court and prove that you’ve had him
Document document, see if grandma would sign a statement as well and maybe have that notarized? Definitely lawyer up.
Get a lawyer document EVERYTHING keep the txt messages have the grandma do a affidavit and you will win
Take a family selfie every morning and/or night just make it a fun thing. That would be picture evidence that he’s with you.
Keep documentation courts love that…write or record what grandma say but dont day much to her she might start taking her daughters side again…get the school records that he attends school in grandmas district…dr records of who takes him to dr…ect.
Stop paying any child support… Get a lawyer - get to court asap…good luck.
Sounds like she legally abandoned the kid. Take her to court and file a contempt of court.
Keep him for 6 months, steadily, record every phone call and text message, don’t seek interaction from her. After 6 months of no financial, emotional or physical support it’s considered abandonment
File for an emergency custody hearing
Yes document everything then go file for full custody. Or at least joint custody with your husband being the primary physical custodian
Grandma might just be venting thinking nothing will come of it…but wnen she realized they want to get the grandson permanently she prob. Will side with her daughter…Dont let her know anything until the lawyer let’s her know…and yes keep your son and get a lawyer…
Well the grandma seems like she would help you with proof of what’s been going on as well
I would definitely consult a family lawyer. And try to get emergency custody. For those who are saying to stop paying her child support dont do that if it is court ordered because that can land your husband in trouble good luck
document all. but getting FULL legal is probably not going to happen. but you can have full physical. just go file to make it legal. its abandonment on her part. u might actually have a shot at complete full. but they believe in both parents being in a childs life they actually push for that to happen no matter what. unless abusive. but u definitely got full physical. again just make it legal
I’d contact a lawyer and possibly file for an emergency hearing, that can usually be done within a few days.
Don’t stop paying child support unless you are advise by a lawyer to!
But document everything!
Keep records of anything and everything
Document document document! Make note of each stretch of time he is with you or with grandma.
Like October 1-October 10 (with us)
October 11-12 (with grandma)
October 13-October 20 (with us)
If you have specific dates and times going in to court, you should at least be able to ask in a change of child support.
File a emergency custody hearing. You don’t have to but I would hire an attorney to represent your case. Keep paying it but in the end She will most likely have to pay back all the child support you paid while he was in your care. Write down EVERYTHING! Dates and times! Save all text messages about anything with her.
Get a lawyer keep notes of everything with dates time etc when she calls when she sees him and everything she does take to a lawyer then file for sole custody so she will have to pay child support
Sadly the courts don’t care that the Mother doesn’t spend child support on the child. File for full custody ASAP. Legally is the best way to deal with this.
Been through this … PM me … it isn’t as hard as you think
Yes document everything. If he’s in daycare or school it might be helpful to “prove” he’s completely in your care. It might be helpful to have him with you 100% for as long as possible-not completely withhold from GMA but maybe just day visits. I’m just thinking if you can prove he’s been with you exclusively for # of months it will help your case… the longer the time probably the better…Soon as mom knows what’s up she’ll be back trying to get the child. Then file for full custody. I would not tell GMA what’s up either-keep it to yourselves.
I would definitely not stop paying any child support especially if it’s court ordered because your husband will get in trouble for not paying. Best bet is to get a lawyer. Hopefully the custody stuff is better in your state because they are shitty in Arizona. Good luck
Get a planner and document everything day by day.
Start documenting everything. If you could get a written statement from his grandma on everything you say she said that is even better. Video tape everyday he’s with you guys for proof.
Take it back to court ! Get a lawyer
Lawyer up and take her to court
Consult a family lawyer for sure they can help you and lead you in the right direction good luck
We went through the exact same thing, in Texas. We went to the child support. They gave us all the necessary paperwork to fill out and gave us a court date asap. We even got over $7000 a child support taken off his case.
Document. Get statement from Grandma and go for custody now. No point in waiting to see how long it’ll be before she realizes. Thanksgiving is over a month away. Unless she’ll want him for Halloween.
Keep records and document everything. Have the grandmother write a letter stating the truth.
Keep all receipts for the child support and track the weeks he is with you, and when he is with grandma.
Maybe talk to a lawyer…get some advice.
That’s so fucking sad.
Maybe put him in some kind of counseling. Must be so hurtful and confusing to him, that his mother doesnt give a shit about him.
Keep a record of anything and ask his grandma to be a witness.
Make sure you have all this documented and have the grandma put in a report also and you can also have the child state to the judge also that he has been staying with you, everything you can need to be documented and presented to the court
No advice to give but prayers for your family 
Go see a lawyer and ask them what you and your husband can do about getting full custody of the child most lawyers don’t charge for the first appointment
I’d file abandonment. how long has it been since the mom seen him?
Go to county attorney file for emergency custody stating all of the above. You’ll get a court date and everything ask for stopping child support while you have emergency custody, file for child support from her
Look into abandonment laws in your state in NC if a parent has no contact or provided financial support in six months the guardian can file abandonment
Doesnt the grandma herself have proof that he doesnt live with his mom and she isnt taking care of him ?
Dont listen to any advise except GET AN ATTORNEY. Your husband needs to get this right the first time.
Go to family court and start now as long as they see you guys making the effort they will see your case document everything you are doing and how long you’ve been doing it for have his grandma also document her side. So you guys can be someone started when this gets rolling
It’s up to your husband not you and he should talk to the grandmother and see if she would help you
Enroll your son in school if you have proof that he was registered or is registered and shows living with you the school records are proof as well
Went through a similar situation and it’ll be really hard to prove against a biological mother. Get as many statements as you can from people you know (the grandma, any friends who know you have him) worst case it’ll stay joint until he’s old enough to make his decision on where to stay
Make sure you keep a log on all this! In most states what she is doing is considered child abandonment!
Document everything and take lots of time stamped pictures to back up what you write down. Get a lawyer and good luck
Best bet is to talk with a lawyer cause they will know the laws in regards custody of the child and can help you figure out what the next step is. But you could also research the laws of where you live to see what you can do to get custody of the child
I agree with asking a lawyer; you should also ask about adopting your stepson since it seems bio mom has abandoned him. Therefore, you’ll have legal rights to him as well as your husband and there won’t be shit she can do about anything.