Advice, please! We went to court a couple of years ago over my stepdaughter, she’s 3. We also live in Alabama. In the agreement, it states that they were supposed to provide proof of insurance through her stepdad. He is in the Army, so my stepdaughter has Tricare. After several attempts in the past year, they have never provided us any proof. Apparently, she does not have a health insurance card? So, I said that to say this. Let’s note that I take this child to the doctor when she’s sick, to the dentist if need be, and anything else. We pay out of pocket costs because we can’t get any info from the stepdad. The mother does not take care of her; she does not take her to the doctor or dentist. She does not have a PCP. There have been multiple times we have picked her up, and she reeks of cigarette smoke and perfume trying to cover it up. So, yesterday I took her to the dentist because she has two black cavities on her back molars on the bottom. So when I get there, I find out they can’t find her insurance through TriCare in the system. Normally, they look that up by the stepdads social. I already knew this was going to be a headache, but I called the mother a couple of times, and she never answered. The stepdad calls me back on the mother’s phone and continues to chew me a new one about asking for his social so they can find her insurance. The receptionist overheard the conversation after several hours of waiting for an answer, the receptionist said, “We are concerned for your step daughter’s teeth, and we know you want them looked at, so we are going to suggest you get her on an insurance plan with you guys and we will bill you later.” I said okay, we could do that. Thirty minutes later, I find out my stepdaughter has to have all four back molars capped because the cavities are so bad. Her gums are swollen from where her mom doesn’t let her brush them. Her other teeth have cavities forming at the gum line, so those will have to be fixed as well. They will have to send her a couple of hours from home to have this done, and she will have to be put to sleep. They said if she went six months without this done, all her teeth would abscess, and she would have to have them all cut out. And if they abscess, they could kill her. I was FURIOUS. Why hadn’t the mother already had this took care of? Again, she never takes her to the doctor or anything on her own time. So, I called my husband and talked to him about it. A few minutes later, the mother called my husband and said they were trying to charge me with insurance fraud because I was trying to find out about step daughters insurance. My husband told her that I’m his wife and if I need to take her to a doctor or anything that I have right to do so, especially when my husband isn’t able to. Obviously, her medical needs are not met when she’s with her. She has everything she wants and needs when she’s with us. We already have a lawyer from previously, we are looking for advice for full custody. Thanks!
I would get a letter stating all of that from the dentist and give it to ur lawyer a d file for full custody based on neglect
File through a lawyer for full custody. They’ll serve her papers and go to court but you’ll have to prove them unfit
Write everything down!! From what she’s wearing to when she’s eating and what, how she smells when you pick her up, if she’s been bathed or not. Every discrepancy, every argument/conversation about your step daughter. It’ll just make your case stronger.
Never get legal advice from Facebook. Ask your attorney
Attorney general to take them back to court, and CPS for medical neglect, which is considered child abuse
Look dad has to take her. You are there to assist. Is he incapable of taking his child to the dentist??? You can not ask for his social. What is the father doing about this?? He needs to handle this and you provide the support for those choices.
I believe they are in contempt if they aren’t providing the court ordered info regarding insurance. Keep all bills for court. File for full custody on the grounds of medical neglect
Document everything that is being done and everything you guys are doing to help her, tell them why you believe that she would be better off with you and. Your husband and how you can provide her with a stable environment, call a lawyer and file papers for full custody
You just said you have a lawyer. Ask them that’s what you pay them for. Yeah it’s free here but different states, different ways 
Good luck. We went through a very similar scenario, only worse. The judge didn’t care at all. He did tell the mom that she needed to take the kids to the dentist at least once a year. Great. So we put the kids on our insurance, at an added cost to us, so we can take them when they’re with us during the summer.
Get dentist n school n doctor reports give them to lawyer and all doctors bills also a copy of court order saying she has to provide insurance
The child should have a dependent ID card so she can use her tricare, that is proof of insurance with the military.
Document everything! Pictures, letters from doctors, dentist etc.
If you already have a lawyer shouldn’t you be seeking his advice?
So tricare is pretty good with things. You don’t need his social number really, all you need is his DOD number and they can find her through that. With tricare, they don’t provide you with insurance cards either. Your insurance card is you Military ID, so her bio mom would have to physically be there for anything insurance related. Well this is for a Marine Corps… I’m not sure how the army does things, I’m going to assume it’s the same way across any military platform.
Tricare doesn’t provide insurance cards but the other parent who has custody can call tricare and ask for the child’s benefit number to obtain care. Everything else, document, find a good lawyer and get advice from the attorney.
The solid proof you have and I would get it in writing from doctors and dentists should be enough to prove the mother and step father are unfit to care for her.
Document everything and contact a good lawyer.
I would defend document everything and get the doctors and dentists to do this also.
That’s medical neglect. Should be easy enough to prove. Get proof of all doctors and dentist visits you guys have taken her to. Also make sure you file contempt of court for not providing the child with insurance. If you can get statement’s from the doctors and dentist about her current condition that will help you also. Also I’m going to say, with tricare you do not have a insurance card. After a child turns 12 they can get a military ID which will have their benefits number on it. But they do not have insurance cards. My husband was in the army for 8 years. Also all it would take for them to get her on insurance is going on base to deers and providing them marriage certificate, court documents stating they have primary custody, birth certificate, ETC. and having them add her to his DEERS/tricare. It’s not that hard at all. They’re just being lazy. Also if the neglect is that bad, ask the dentist/doctor to file a report with child services. Child services will help you guys get custody if the child is being neglected like you say.
How does a step dad have insurance on a step child? You hear all this fuss about how “step” parents are not entitled so why doesn’t the child’s father get insurance or a medical card on the child ?? I’m not being hateful, I’m a step mom too…
I didn’t read the entire post, but with tricare insurance, there is no card. My kids have it through their dad and when I take them in I just confirm it’s tricare. I think if they’re seen for the first time, you need the ssn if the service member.
Take all proof to ur attorney and have him take it back to court
Deff get records of that dental.visit! And exactly what the dentist said. Get her on dads insurance ASAP!!! show your attorney everything you have a very good case
My ex is supposed to provide insurance too. He always has an excuse why he doesn’t have it. I just put them on my insurance . Problem solved
Call cps when they are with you. And the police. Get an emergwncy restraining order. And emergency temp full custody until court date.
Praying you guys get full custody
Take everything from the dentist to the lawyer.
Tell your lawyer you feel as if her health needs are not being met and that based on the calls and date of the dentist appt you set up she can’t charge you for anything. Run with It I’m pretty sure the judge will see based of what the dental records say you’ll definitely get custody.
Medical negligence is real! Keep documentation of all of this!
Get the dentist to write down what all she needs and that they suspect abuse
Ok ex navy wife here… Tricare does not have cards the card that is asked for would be either his or her mom’s military ID. That is the insurance card. The only way to look it up is under the step dad’s social. So he either coughs it up or her mom needs to step up. You need to take them back to court and that way the judge will ask for proof. If they can’t provide it then they will be in a shit load of trouble. But I would definitely apply for her through y’all’s insurance. And that way she can be taken care of. But from what I just read the mother should be investigated for neglect and abuse!
I knot Tricare does not provide cards. Maybe they could not find him in the system is because he is no longer in the military?
Get records from the dentist saying everything you just wrote. Then call CPS and make a report based on that with documentation in hand, then request a new court appts for custody, visitation and put the mother on child support.
If the father is in the Army you could contact the ombudsman at the base he is stationed at and they can assist you with proof of insurance and card. I’m prior Navy.
Definitely call CPS. This child has access to medical care (according to the mom) but they aren’t giving it to her. Neglect is a reason for removal.
We are taking my great nieces mom for custody cause of the same thing
Contact fathers command. They will straighten him right out!!! How dispicable.
I would suggest you not get the government involved, anything could happen and likely create a legal mess and not good for anyone involved.
Retired military. I no a thing or two. They dont tolerate neglecting your own child.
Get ALL medical records from dentist and so forth, keep track of any messages sent to you, and if they keep calling you, try and record it somehow. Definitely keep track in a note book of any details like the smoke smell and stuff written down. Also, take pictures of her teeth or anything you find on her. You’ll have all the proof so custody should be easy.
Document, document, document. Every time, every issue, get documentation from the doctors/dentists. Hire a private investigator if need be to see how this child is being treated. Call CPS for a welfare check. Consult a lawyer and take it to court. Can you contact Tricare or go to a VA facility to get info? Sometimes they have volunteers to help you. If bio mom and stepdad get any visitation make sure it’s court supervised at a courthouse.
If need be, just add her to your insurance and pay for it.
We have tricare but they don’t cover dental. We have to have a separate plan for dental, but if he is active he should already have one in place. Place a call to the base commander and request required information for coverage. You should be able to submit bills for reimbursement from tricare too.
(Former military family here)You could always go above stepdad’s head in his chain of command. The army really does not like that. Plus, SD is not paying anymore for the childs insurance coverage so why not use it. Look up tricare 1-800 number online and call them for more help also. They are correct in no insurance cards as tricare prefers you to visit healthcare on base.
Do you actually know the mother doesn’t let her brush her teeth? Bad teeth are genetic and has to do with the bacteria in a person mouth. It’s not always about brushing. My girls have no cavities but my son teeth are horrible. He just had to get six caps and he had an abscess that had to be lanced in the emergency room and take antibiotics until I could get him into his dentist and they referred him to an oral surgeon which took a week to get him an appointment. I didn’t even know there was anything wrong with the tooth until I saw a bump on his gums that literally popped up overnight. You have to be able to prove it’s from neglect and even a dentist will tell you that’s not always the case.
We are a military family. I’m prior service and my husband is still active.
There are steps you can take with his chain of command to get these issues solved. If you want to private message me I can help you.
Our military id was the insurance card for us and the one child that went between our house and her other parents house they gave her her own card so no matter where she was the doctor had access to the information. If they still won’t give you something then contact the local base and ask them what they can do to help fix the issue with the card.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news. There are no insurance cards for Tricare. Medical coverage is not dental coverage. Tricare does not provide dental coverage. That is a separate coverage and a separate charge.
And, technically, as the step mother, you can’t make medical decisions for her. I know that seems ridiculous, but unless the provider has a document authorizing you to make decisions, they could be in trouble for treating her.
I’m sure it sucks, but it sounds like you really just need to contact an attorney and get these things figured out.
CPS would love to hear about her health being neglected.
He’ll need to have her registered in DEERS and have enrolled her in a healthplan. If he hadn’t done either of those things then his social won’t help you so no use in asking for it. Plus it’s very confidential as is anyone’s. I’d take it to court. That’s all you can do. Document it and take it to court. It’s your husband who needs to be fighting for his daughter.
Army wife here. Contact the base step father is stationed. Give his name and they will track down his commander. Let them know what the deal is. Be 100% on facts and have proof. Text, court order etc. They will burn his and her ass.
She is trying to call you out on “fraud” because she knows that not only have they been medically neglecting her but they are not covering her insurance like they are obliged to. So, they are worried and trying to scare you. Get a hold of your lawyer, and start the paperwork. Make sure you get the information and statements from the dentist also. Good luck. She deserves to be taken care of
Military doesnt use ssn# anymore as well, the I’d # is on military ID or retired ID# plus for dental they have to have a separate plan so hope this helps
Get records of everything and anything. Document absolutely everything… no matter how small you think it is. Get your lawyer on board. Get the government involved.
She won’t have an insurance card. Tricare doesn’t issue them because you use your military ID. Go through the step dad’s chain of command. That will go quicker than if you guys were to take the mom and SD back to court. If he still doesn’t do what he’s supposed to, go back to his command and they can cause problems for him which will likely force him to give you the info you need.
Get full physical custody of her right now.
No cards for tri care: give them her dads name (her sponsor)
First off, there are ONLY ID cards for the child IF she is over 10 OR does not live with the service member. So, if the mom and stepdad have full custody there will NOT be an ID card.
Next, Tricare covers dental, medical and vision.
Before anyone says anything I kjow all this because my ex husband is military AND my job I work everyday is in a medical facility working with insurance companies.
Now, with the single fact this little girl has that bad of teeth that will be proof enough to get custody. Start fighting now. If there is no other insurance on her get it through dad or yourself so that baby has something.
If your the one that posted this and have questions please feel free to message me!
Sounds a lot like denial of critical care in my opinion. Should be investigated by dhs. If you can get any medical history as this shouldn’t have went this far as dentist appts should be every 6 months. This poor child. I hope it all gets sorted out soon.
Just have your husband file for sole custody, the paperwork can be filed the same day if he’s serious and pay the cost. Also as the father he doesn’t need custody to add her to his insurance he should be able to just put in the call.
You need to CO to get this fixed n get reimbursed
So much necessary missing information.
Hotline the mom & stepfather. Medical neglect dosent bode well in Family court
Get documentation and fight this. Breaks my heart when little ones have to suffer for stupid mistakes their parents are making. So glad she has you guys watching out for her.
I can’t fathom that a mother would willfully neglect to take her own child to the doctor or dentist.
Your husband needs to file for emergency temporary custody of his daughter. He needs to put down the reason for medical and dental neglect. Get a written statement from the dentist and receptionist.
His father should put her on his healthcare plan. Than get an attorney have the mother get supervised visits and pay child support.
THIS CHILD IS ONLY 3? WTF?? I wouldn’t mess with His chain of command. He is the stepfather. I would suggest that your husband file for emergency custody of the child. Apparently, stepdad is getting military pay for your stepdaughter. Basically, she is just a meal ticket to them.
I’m surprised you can even take her. Around here in Illinois, I couldn’t even get grandma to take my daughter to the doc cuz I was at work. They wouldn’t allow it without proper legal proof because she was not a guardian. Start stacking up that proof. Statements from dentist about teeth, how they could’ve ended up that way, etc
It is not insurance fraud. So dont worry about that. If there is a court order, I’d go to courts and have them demand proof. And ammend order to include medical costs, you can back date it too.
Take as many pictures of as many things as you can. Physical evidence or visual evidence is your best friend. Letters from the dentist, doctor, etc also help, especially if they’re willing to supply you with appointment dates that show neglect in taking the child to the doctor or dentist on a regular basis (in my state they go once a year for a “well check”). This all could help in your custody case.
Document everything no matter what PITA it is. There really is no way the stepdad is using the kid for military pay. Pay is determined by his rank. The child’s insurance should be covered by his military insurance but she has to be added as a dependant. At the least go back to court. You can ask for immediate custody but if you do not succeed also ask that the steps needed are taken to have her added as a dependent, said child needs to derive at least a certain amount of their support from stepdads family. If she lives with YOU, she may not be eligible as she is not bio daughter but she IS eligible as a dependent step child living with him. So…many variables here but honestly the child needs help now. If YOU take her for care I believe you have every right to do this as a step mom but ultimately when you take her, payment is totally on YOU at least according to advice I have received. So whatever you do in court, get EVERYTHING you can documented and decided by the court asap.
From someone that went through something similar…proof is ur best friend. In my instance my step sons teachers and doc he had been seeing since he was born thought I was his mother! The ped could be in court but even wrote a letter signed and put a personal contact # on it so the judge could reach him if need be telling the court that they seen my step son and his half brother by his mother. We had even been in there at the same.time with 2 different kids…they didnt know she was his mother. His teacher came she knew I wasnt his mother I told her at the beginning of the year but she laid eyes on his bio in the court room and sat next to her and didnt even know it was her. I had a 6 hr dental visit with him that required ALL of his teeth capped and some pulled. Start by getting written statements or witnesses to go to court and tell ur husband to file asap for neglect
Have that woman who heard you write out a note stating she heard the argument and stating the struggle with that which she witnessed. Notes from the doctors showing that you’re there for all appointments and showing that the mother is not. Amend the case when you can and tell the judge they blatantly refuse to give proof of insurance to provide care for the girl. You can absolutely have something done about it. They can request that she give you the correct information or provide the girl with insurance as the agreement states by a certain amount of days or she can lose her part of custody. Which seems like the best thing at this time unfortunately
Put her in your insurance for now and show that to the judge as well that mom is not complying with the courts order for her health.