Our sides of the family are in Canada and the States, so for a gender reveal we want to call each side of the fam separately (on Facebook messenger), and show a video of our son finding out. So they’d all be able to watch it while we get to watch their reaction. Is this even possible?!
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Just call them and tell them. I don’t get the gender reveal parties.
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I don’t see how you’d be able to accomplish that unless everyone is in one place at the same time while on video chat. I’d just record it and send it to them.
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Do a zoom call. It’s like having a conference with multiple people on the call.
Face time on one phone send the video with another phone
A zoom conference call. Everyone can see everyone
It possible. Zoom should work
Add them to a group and do a group call on messenger.
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We’re just recording our cannons and sending them to family.
You got two phones plus some other devices right use them all at same time with different groups - aka old school party line 
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Send to one of their emails and call the other on messenger while they open the email
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I don’t know about Facebook messenger, but I know on FaceTime you can share your screen- so you could play the video of your son finding out on the shared screen. Maybe test that out on messenger and see. If not, you could definitely do it on any of the other video call apps (zoom, google meet, etc)