I have two beautiful children; my second child is going to start her first year of school this year, which means both kids are off to school. However, the last few years, I have been clucky on and off for one more sitting on the fence. Things that are stopping me from having one more are age (37) chronic back pain from a car accident years ago, so I don’t know how my body will handle one more with pregnancy/labor/breastfeeding and quality of life afterward with more pain? Etc. Finances with a mortgage/bills etc. as I would want to stay home with the baby for at least one year before going back to work due to breastfeeding, age gap from other kids (4/9)Did any other mommas face any of these issues and still had the third baby after both kids were older, any advice to cope? If you chose not to have third baby, did you regret it years later?
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I did. My older boys are 21, 17, and 17. After I had them I had my leg amputated above the knee, was diagnosed with Lyme disease, sjorgans, reynauds, rheumatoid arthritis, and I ended up having two more boys. I was extremely worried about being able to handle it, and afford it. Even though I’ve been on crutches since and single the last 8 years I made it work. If it’s something you want you’ll find a way. People would give me looks carrying babies on crutches and question how I take care of them but I found a way, I just do things my own way and as far as the financial aspect, I’m not going to lie, I struggle from time to time but I think everyone does.
I have 23, 16, 12 and almost 2 year old and I have never regretted it levi my youngest was born when I was 38
No matter what there is going to be a struggle to work through. As long as your happy and baby is happy and your other kids are happy. A good support system is key. You CAN do this.
You’ve put a lot of negatives: age, chronic condition, finances, age gap. Why not write out all the positives and see how it balances out? Also, be sure your husband is in agreement and talk to him about what he sees your lives being like with the kids out of the house during school hours? Does he expect you to go back to work? Volunteer at the kids school?
My husband and I had a child early in our marriage, waited 8 years until we had the second one, and then had another 5 years later. It worked for us. The kids grew up with their own interests, but weren’t super close. Now, after all these years, the youngest works for a company in which the oldest is a manger and the oldest and the second talk on the phone almost daily.
Bottom line, ask yourself whether the positives outweigh the negatives. Then decide.
I actually read an article the other day that baby’s in utero actually help any issues mom has. So don’t let back pain be your reasoning to not.
If you feel like you’re not done, go for it!
I have 5. 14, 13, 9, 4 and 8 months. Me and my so both work, I stayed home from 7 weeks and went back. It’s up to you what you’d wanna do. I love having a large family. Me and my SO both wanted a large family. Now that we got another boy we’re good. No more for us. 5 is good lol
you just gave many reasons why you shouldn’t, but those really haven’t stop people before, The choice is yours & your husbands, You also must think of the future of the 2 you have now. Do you have enough saved when they are old enough to go to college? Do you have enough to live on, just in case there is an emergency, such as lost job, one of you are in the hospital for a period of time, etc? Are you already started some sort of savings for when you both retired? Because trust me, that is a long way off, but it’s not free or easy!! Do you have enough when your kids get married? A lot to think about before you bring another one into this world, If your 2 are healthy, be very thankfully & grateful. And if all that is good, just what if…another baby, is not born healthy, are you ready to deal & live with that??? There are so many what if’s. And of course, you can have another one & everything is fine & you all live happily ever after. But then again, be very grateful & thankful what God has given you already. And with whatever you choose, this is between your husband & you, not us. And good luck with whatever your decision is
This has to come from within you and your partner….but know that your decision is your decision and no room for regrets!!! Just be happy
Honey I have 2 17 year old and a 6 year old. Had my youngest at 35. It was definitely harder 9 on my body than the 1st go around
I have a 12, 5, and 9 week old…I thought I was done after my 5 year old…was on birth control…have high bp heart damage overweight diabetic and have high risk pregnancies at 34…but, my little man just made me feel so complete, even if he was a surprise. We are capable of so much 
if you want another little, go for it…
My boys were 6 and 8 when my daughter was born. I had just started working after being a stay at home mom. It wasn’t planned, but we weren’t as careful as we should have been. I had my daughter and didn’t give up my job. Either you have another one or you don’t.
She gaps mean nothing. I have 3 older siblings. The oldest one and me are the closest with and 11 year age gap.
But I also see you’re only weighing your cons and no pros. You’ll never regret having another child. At the end of the day,everything works out. It will ultimately come down to what you and your husband are ready for. Best of luck!
Honestly, when we decided to have a third and we factored in could we afford it. I mean I literally factored in every cost of having a 3rd child. Then we factored in our age. Factored in who would take our children if the unimaginable happened and factored in their ability to financially support our children. Then I factored in my quality of life after giving birt and durning pregnancy( my previous pregnancies were not great.)
My husbands job factored in since we move every 3-5 years. We waited till he got a raise and my youngest is 2 and I have an 8 yr old and a 12 yr old. I wouldn’t change my decision on having my daughter even though she is medically complex. You have to beable factor in, can I afford it. Then what happens if your left to raise your children alone without your spouse. I factored all that in since it’s pertinent to my life. Just because you can afford it doesn’t mean you can handle it mentally so take that into account as well.
I have an 18 yr old and an a 11 yr old and currently 34 weeks pregnant with my 3rd was not expecting to get pregnant but I’m 38 yrs old and my husband is 48 yrs old, we both didn’t want anymore kids at our ages but we ended up pregnant, I have had back problems since I was a kid and with this one my back has hurt a lot more but I been dealing with it. It will all be worth it once the baby is here.
If your heart wants another baby, have a baby. 
I’m in the same position and I’m still unsure. I want another so bad, but I also don’t want to be in extreme pain because of it. I’m turning 33 this month. I think what is most important is what your body is telling you. Listen to it.
Well my kids are 6,5,2 and, 6 days old. My 6 year old turns 7 in March and my 5 year old turns 6 in 2 days. It’s easier to have more kids when you other ones are in school.
I’m about to be 35 in May and pregnant with my 8th. If you feel you can cope with the physical aspects and still want a third, then go for it. Yes age will play apart from what I’ve heard it can make it harder to even get pregnant and even then it is not without risk. Maybe babysit a newer baby for a while to see if you still feel the same?
Mine was 7 when I had a newborn now they are 11 and 4
Save for a year and then decide.
Talk to your OBGYN about setting up ohysical therapy and massage therapy throughout your pregnancy. I have a screwed up knee and my walk, while preggers, led to sciatica. 
The pain was so bad I was on pain meds and did physical therapy 2-3x a week. Massage therapy helped alot.
Make a budget, then rebudget to having a 3rd and see where you are. Decide what you can cut out. Have streaming apps, at $7-$25 a month, plus cable, you don’t really need all that. Use Amazon all the time, stop buying things bc it’s cute or you “may” need it. There’s ways to rebudget if you want a 3rd but if you don’t want to cut things out and live cheaper, don’t stress and have a 3rd.
I thorght 4 was way enough. Then our 9week old surprise came along. Ages are 4,3,4,3 age gaps in all 5. Oldest is 15. Now 34 this yr.
Finances mean only 1 income (his) I’m on mat leave until July. It’s tough. Bit if u can budget with just hubby then ul be fine. U own a house which is a huge bonus. Renting sucks
This is a conversation to have with your partner. Only thing I will say is if you are not financially set, don’t do it.
I had my last baby 6 years after the last one and it was a huge change. I’ve got 4 children 10, 8, 7 and 12 months.
If your going to do it now is the time.
Mine weren’t planned but they are 16, 9, and 2……that last guy breathed a whole new life into my little family
Talk about options…see if a chiropractor could help or some type of therapy. Wouldn’t wait too long but get finances in order and make sure with drs it will be ok health wise to do it before start trying. My feet were messed up in a car wreck at age 14. Crushed bones. My dad didnt sign off on reconstructive surgery at time it happened and only way to fix it is to have them re break the bones and screw in plates. Still want one or two boys in couple of years to go along with my girls. I manage the pain ok with aspirin and naproxen plus compression wraps. Even though arthritis caused by it is starting to get into knees. Still want my kids and gonna go for it once my second gets into kindergarten. Only ones can make that decision is you and your spouse.
I’m 36 and I’ve had thoughts about having a baby recently because my youngest is 4. But I don’t want to be that old before I get to have time just me and my husband. Ya know to travel and watch out kids go through early adulthood… I am not hating or judging anyone who wants more kids at my age or older, this is just what’s best for my husband and myself💜
I mean, while pregnant it may be hard but once you have your baby in your arms you forget about the back pain and sickness that led to it… I think more importantly you need to consider how much regret you’ll have if you don’t have another one? Stop worrying so much about everything else, if it’s what you want have another baby before it’s too late and you have to live with the regrets of not doing it while you could. You’ll work everything else out x
My sister had kids 9 years apart and she hates the age gap. She thought she’d be able to do it the same as she did previously with my niece. She’s more exhausted, way more stressed out.
If you want one and can do it financially, then great, if you can’t do it, don’t
I have a 9 yr old, 3 yr old and a 5 month old. It was easier for me with my last one than the other two. I say if you really want to do it than go for it. I’m very high risk and I just turned 30 last year and it turned out to be my easiest pregnancy and labor. Good luck mama!!!
Young one my parents started at 21/23 and ended at 41/43 - there are 10 of us. 
just let the Creator decide.
I knew when my pregnancy was horrible abd I nearly died in childbirth from hemorrhage that I would only have one kid.
My kids are 16, 15 and 5. It is different having a baby when you have older kids, they want to help. It was so nice watching my older kids with my baby when he was born. That said, it is also harder to bounce back/heal/feel normal again after pregnancy esp if you have something like a back injury. It would make your life a little easier if you don’t start all over at the beginning but if you really want another baby I say go for it!
Mine are now 26. 22. 20, 18, 16, 9 and 6. Budgeting is key when planning a big family. No we didn’t have to go without but shopped smart. Groceries towards the end of the day when there are alot of mark downs. Buy clothes online in the off-season. So summer clothes just as winter is starting and winter clothes just as summer is starting in a size up for when next season starts . You get the idea. I have degenerative disk disease so being heavier at the end of pregnancy was a challenge but I found the belly support brace a life saver . Be prepared that everything may not be smooth sailing so prepare ahead with savings. One of my pregnancies saw me on full bed rest in hospital for 12 weeks. The children’s father had to rely on childcare and before and after school care to continue working in that time and again in another pregnancy when our son was born just shy of 28 weeks and spent almost 4 months in the NICU. We had an emergency fund that got us through those times.
I had my last 2 at 39 and 40, they are 13 months apart, diffently not planned that way. I wouldnt change a thing. They have brought so much joy to our family.
My mom had 7 kids…4 in a row, then 4 yrs l
My mom had 7 kids…1953
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Your first two are 5 years apart so why not have another one 5 years after the last one
Too many problems , health, for you, forget the 3rd kid.
I had my last one when my other girls were 9 and 13. Later in school I had a kindergartener, a high schooler and 1 in college.
Tbh if you’re not like over the moon jumping for joy about the thought of another pregnancy and baby then I don’t recommend planning for one. Ya know? Like no matter how many you have, bringing another life into the world is a big deal, so if your not ALL for it then just don’t.
I had my second child at 37 it was a difficult Pregnancy, High risk , at 8week I developed high blood pressure and at 20 weeks they found a tumor. I would recommend getting a total check up before getting pregnant. Best of luck.
Out of all these cons the back is the worst one 
breastfeeding made my back and shoulder like 10 times worse and it was already bad before. Still worth it tho. Now I have a bad toddler and a bad back. 
I wouldn’t do it given your back issues. You will have more finances and time to do more with the two that you have too.
I had my 3rd at 32 yrs old. My other kids were 5 and 8 yrs between oldest and youngest. I divorced my husband 3 months after she was born. My children are not close. I have had lots of back pain since the birth.
22,15, 6, and 4
I will be 45 n July of this year
I think the question is, will you regret not having another? If you think for a second you will, call a chiropractor and change your diet completely (look up things like anti inflammatory diets and such) and go for it!
Definitely something to ask your doctor to weigh the pros and cons
With chronic back pain now I’d be more worried about how that will be in 15 years than the pregnancy.
I have chronic sciatica and just had my littlest three weeks ago. I have a 10 year old and an 8 year old (and a 4 year old bonus son). I’m so glad I have my little one. Pregnancy was a little rough with the back pain but everyone handles pain differently. I was on restriction but if you can do yoga or gentle exercises to help, it may not be so bad. You have to decide what’s right for you.
We didn’t…they decided…lol
I only have 2. Though I wanted a boy, I was blessed with 2 girls and I’m totally ok with that. My 2nd pregnancy was SO hard on my body and she turned out to be the worst breech a baby can be, I was just done. Mine have a big gap too. My oldest is almost 14 while my youngest is 7. They don’t play together unless it’s family game night. I’m looking to connect with any of her classmates to make friends with their parents so she can have a buddy her age to play with. We also live in a rural area too which doesn’t help
Honestly I did it and my kids are 7 & 10. Best thing I ever did. They love having a baby in the house. My 10 year old is the best helper and loves it. I have issues with my neck and back too and it wasn’t as bad as I thought. If your on the fence do it now before you get even older.
Well, I’m unexpectedly pregnant with a 3rd I wasn’t sure I wanted to begin with. Whatever you chose, be sure. Because I wouldn’t wish these feelings on anyone.
Do it. Why not ? Things will always work out. Your only getting older and if you truly want another baby. Then do it, you will regret it. If you don’t, you know ?
My bfs mom had her last child 6 years ago. She I thing around that age. Idk I don’t ask people how old they are. It’s my estimate from my mom’s age to that person.
You no if your ready I’m 43 with a 16 year age gap and health problems to but I’ve come out the other side feeling better