So how did you guys navigate parenting with your parents & in laws when they are babysitting your children? I’m not a fan of the whole “grandma/grandpa let’s me do this” or “grandma/grandpa let me have this”. my parents are really stuck in there ways and I know its gonna be a problem.
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I know this isn’t very helpful, but you just have to pick your battles. Grandparents are going to let grandkids get away with so much, but the way I see it as long as they aren’t getting hurt then pick and choose what to make a big deal about.
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I’m about to have to deal with this. I firmly believe if they wont follow what I have deemed acceptable or unacceptable they will not watch mini. Giving her various snacks and basic grandparent spoiling is fine. But fundamental things that I say yes or no to, i wont budge. They will either do their best to follow the rules i have laid out or they will not see her. She is my child, not theirs and will understand that what I say goes, idc who’s house she is at.
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Luckily i never had this issue, my parents have always stood by my husband and i’s decisions, my inlaws and i arent super close (i have no ill feelings towards them) but even they have backed us 100%
No help here cuz my kids do this I hate it but I’m sure I was the same way when I was thier age that’s what grandparents do they won’t be around forever the main stuff they agree on but simple things like giving coke or cake and making slime because I’m not cool and wont let them do it whatever as long as it’s safe and they are looked after i dont Care
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They are grandparents. Not parents. Don’t see the big deal
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its the grandparents right to spoil the grandchildren.
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Grandparents should be respecting the PARENTS.
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I struggled with this with my oldest. I lowered the amount of time she was going to her grandmother’s at first, but then I remember as a kid wishing that I had a grandparent that spoiled me like my friends had so I let it be. I did explain my rules to grandma and told her if my daughter came back an a-hole she was grounded from grandma’s lol. Once they turn about 10, they stop wanting to visit grandparents all the time and it’s not an issue anymore.
Eh, pick and choose your battles. Grandparents naturally do this. My mom does it and I learned to just let it be, specially since they don’t see each other often. I feel as long as you are not overstepping my authority for major things…the little things you just gotta let it be. Can’t sweat every little thing.
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I’m a nan of a very handsome 6 year old and that boy is the apple of my eye… Most of the time I have to do as I’m told or my daughter tells me off 
but he’s my angel and in my house it’s my rules… Oh they both live with me 
am also the bad cop sometimes but the fun nan always
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The way I see it is I can’t bitch about a free sitter. Kids need a place to be spoiled. But my parents also don’t let my kids act like animals or be terrible. They do things I don’t like but they’re my parents lol so I’ll get over it
Honestly…I just got over it. I knew damn well when the kids went over to grandma/grandpa’s house they would get too many treats and not enough sleep. 
What happens at Grandma’s stays at Grandma’s. No harm done.
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Let em. Kids are smart. They know who they can get away with stuff with. If you’re consistant they’ll know that.
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I used to tell my daughter that just because her papa let her do certain things, doesn’t mean I allow the same in my house. You can’t control grandparents actions & I’m sure whatever they are doing isnt necessarily life or death. Grandparents also have been where you are. They have come to realize that life is short to be so serious & strict all the time. I think as we get older we realize some things aren’t as big a deal as we used to think they were. Like having a bowl of ice cream before dinner is going to hurt anyone.
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It depends on what it is my son totally knows that there is different rules at nan nans and that he has different ones at home. He knows she handles things differently than I do and is completely used to both
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Be grateful your kids have grandparents to visit! I didn’t have any growing up.
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Grandparents have no rights to the kids. So it’s follow your rules or they don’t get to see the kids 🤷🤷🤷
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I can’t wait to be a grandparent to do this 
My parents let mine get away with more than I do but still discipline when it’s needed. That’s the difference between grandparents and parents though.
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My father used to say, As long as they aren’t bleeding"…they raised me, I figured they knew what they were.doing…
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They need to follow your rules with grandma and grandpa too
It’s grand-parenting not parenting. If they disciplined them in a way you don’t like then that’s a different story. But being spoiled at my grandparents is one of my fondest memories. Don’t ruin that for either of them please
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If you have ur children’s grandparents watching your kids that’s exactly what’s going to happen. Let them have that relationship…it’s special. If you have rules hire a nanny/ babysitter. Not ur family. Let family be just that…family 
if ur family is ur only option then YOU need to let your kids know the difference between your house and theirs grandparents house. I like to tell my son when he pulls that card “well my moms better than yours” 
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Just tell em you have your rules n grandparents have theirs. They’ll figure it out over time. My daughter told me last night her daughter acts like a little snot after staying with me. I told her it’s because she doesn’t have to compete with her younger sister for attention. They’re one and two btw. I don’t let her get away with several things her mom lets her get away with, like some of the words she gets away with at home. I’m not so strict on the bedtime, but, when she and/or sister are here we have a bedtime routine. I bathe them, then we read a book (or two) and then it’s bedtime. No fit because they know that’s how it is at my house. Mom just bathes em n puts em to bed at her house
Grandparents spoil their grandkids
This is not new
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My in laws are the only grandparents who are involved with my kids they are spoiled but when my kids are wrong they correct them. As for the rest my dad (their papa) and "step"mom (their grandma) they live states away so they don’t get to see them that much. As for the “mawmaw” my bio mom she has really nothing to do with them… so be glade their grandparents want to be in their life’s and spoil them just remind them of your rules to but they supposed to spoil their grandkids
If you don’t like the way they handle your kids, speak to them about it. If they still don’t respect your wishes, then they don’t have to babysit for you. Go pay someone to do it exactly how you’d like it done. But I suggest you make sure you got the $$$ before you burn that bridge. lol
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I tell my littles that is what gma let’s you do at her house that is not how it works at our home. I try to keep it simple for mine. As long as gma and gpa are safe with my children I don’t feel there is any damage done. It seems good to teach my littles as well of the different expectations in different places as well
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Let kids be kids with grandparents,they know what to do to have fun,or thats the way l feel about it,
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depends on what it is… certain things id just say well that is allowed there but you KNOW its not allowed here and i will not put up with it… for others i made it clear to my grandma that these are the rules they get followed 24/7 and the kids let me know when you dont follow… either follow my set rules or no more babysitting… youll only see them when i can be there to make sure my rules for my kids are followed…
It’s okay to let grandma and grandpa do that to an extent but when they do that let them know how much of a privilege it is to go there and have that with them and only them. I let my kids to what my mom and dad let them but they know not to try and ask here at home
Pump the brakes girl. That’s grandparents. They are with them a few hours. No harm done. Let EVERYONE involved enjoy their time together. My kid’s nana lets him do and have things he knows wouldn’t fly at home as well as things that wouldn’thave flown when I was a kid. That’s part of the fun of being at nana’s. Don’t kill it for them. They are making memories whose opportunity for will not last forever .
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I struggled with this at first and the fact we lived 6 hours away from either set of grandparents made it worse. I felt like I was talking to a wall for a long time so we lessened our visits for when they would get our daughter and I re-iterated our wishes and let them know there is some wiggle room but the major ones that was non-negotiable. Once we did that it got better and now I don’t even worry bc I know we are all on the same page
That is what makes grandparents so special.As long as the children know that what happens at grandmas stays at grandmas.If what the grandparents do are causing you a problem then sit down and nicely talk to them about changing what they do. Your parents raised you and your inlaws raised your psrtner so they must know what they are doing
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Talk to them about it… with my family great grandma has full reign. As for his grandparents they know right from wrong and know my rules and what i expect. I haven’t had any issues with them going behind my back or doing something i wouldn’t allow them to.
Talk tot hem and set boundaries about what they can and can’t do… or let your kids know what you do at grandma and grandpas is not what we do here,It’s different
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If they are babysitting, it’s their rules, plain & simple. I’m a daily babysitting grandma. What was/is hard for me? Letting the parents do their job when we’re all together even when the grands come to me first. I’m getting better because, guess what? My kids are really good parents. Lol Seriously, though, good luck. It’s tough, especially when you’re saying no & grandparents override it. Maybe have a private discussion with the grandparents & let them know that it’s wonderful that they babysit & what happens at grandma’s stays at grandma’s, but when you’re there it’s your rules.
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Im not sure. We are in the same boat. And yes they are grandparents and all blah blah blah but when they turn your child into a spoiled brat who expects everything it does become a problem.
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It depends on what it is.
Like, my mom let’s my kids do alot but she does correct behavioral stuff…no smart mouth, no disrespect, etc.
She’s let them have ice cream for breakfast and bought toys a week before Christmas 🤦 Lol
Pick your battles.
Is this abt what she’s letting them do or is this abt control?
I always told my kids…
“Grandparents are my fun but my job is to raise you.”
And sometimes mom…we gotta lighten up.
it depends on what it is… honestly if the grandparents are helping you out then late bed times or too much junk food is something I’d let slide
if it’s more dangerous like bad carseat or seatbelt use then I’d be more demanding
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Granny isn’t entitled to your kids. If she cant show respect she doesn’t need to babysit. She has no right to damage your relationship with your own children by making you the bad guy.
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Welcome to grandparents
I straight out told them. It worked, but grandma could be a grandma. Not a parent…
Mine don’t babysit my kids
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Well if im there before she can let them get away with it I intervene n I tell her how things are done
Establish rules and boundaries and stay firm. Those may be the rules when you are gm/gp house but they are not the rules in our house. Accept the fact that it is a grandparent’s right to spoil a little bit.
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Grandparents are the people that brought up the grandkids parents and had boundaries for them ( most thought these parents were the hounds from hell). If the grandparents allow these littlies some leeway, so be it, but said children can also be reminded that their rules stay at their place, and your rules are IN when you are in charge. I look after 8 of my grandchildren whilst their parents are at work. My rules are for MY time and place and will be respected, parents rules etc are for when i am no longer in charge. The kids are fully aware, even miss 2.
Suck it up buttercup! Not all kids are lucky enough to have grandparents. Some are gone already and some just don’t give a crap. Be glad they want to be involved. If it’s that big a problem for you limit their exposure to the gp’s.
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Set boundaries. Parents have rules and the rules need to respected. If they don’t respect those rules after you set the boundary…Start limiting the time grandparents have with your children.
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I figure the in-laws can tolerate what they want. As long as my kids straighten up by the time they get home idc.
Grandma let’s me do it…
Me oh yeah? Well my mom is better than yours!