How did you momma's know it was time to walk away from your relationship?

If you stay in a bad relationship it will affect your children for the rest of their lives I know. Quit thinking about your self and put your kids first where they belong. Once a cheater always a cheater.

Get a job and take care of yourself and your children, Stop depending on a man. They come and go! Just little boy grown tall.

Sounds like you’re not sure you can make it on your own - you are in a trap which you helped to make!

1 Like

Sit down with him and talk. Hash it out. Tell him how you feel, have him tell you how he feels, then figure out a plan that works for both of you

1 Like

“Cheating” is not the ups and downs of a relationship. Being a good dad, uh no a good dad doesnt cheat on the mother of his children. When you cheat you are not just cheating on your wife but your family and kids.

Why would u want to be with someone who is not only cheating it cheating with another man

1 Like

What you allow is what will continue. You need to put yourself and your kids first. Get out.

When a man is into another person and not you.RUN DON’T WALK. Leaving is never easy .Seek counseling for your benefit and your childrens

the minute you found out he was going to cheat with other men, you should of got the hell out of there!!!

Mine was abusive. Verbally, physically, and mentally. I was only married three months. I had to leave.

“Making plans” to cheat is cheating, pack those kids up and leave, hell let him move back, he probably has a boyfriend there and your worth more

Umm. If hes wanting to cheat on you, eslecially with men, then you are both settling. You may love him but its obvious you aren’t happy.

2 Likes

Here’s my advice for what it’s worth. Run don’t walk to the nearest exit. Start a new life!

Seriously don’t just walk RUN away and don’t look back before he gives you an STD.

1 Like

You caught him twice making plans to cheat with a man (even if it was a woman )think about how many times you didn’t catch him!

Do you want to share your SO with other men? Clearly he can’t be trusted. The seven years you’ve invested with him wasn’t with the man you thought he was. Move on.

You are the only one who can decide. Weigh the pros and cons. Pray about it.

If you are religious, try talking to your Pastor, if not find a counselor, you may have to go first then bring him with you…

Get rid of him. It’s bad enough he cheats but with a man come on girl wake up

Really are okay knowing he made plans to sleep with A Man and you are sleeping with him unprotected? Foolish

All relationships have there ups and downs. I would sit down with your husband and have a heart to heart. He needs to know how you feel and also you need to listen to him also it’s a give and take If hes not a bad guy works hard so you can stay home count your blessings theres worst men out there. Good luck.

:flushed: caught him about to twice. That means countless times he’s done it and not been caught. Cheating with another woman is bad enough but a dude? There wouldn’t even be a question with me…:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::face_vomiting:

Go with your gut!!! Some one will live you for you!!! You should never ever settle for second best!!! Good luck to you and your little ones…

1 Like

Do those crutches hurt you ?

Is this dear abbey, or what??

Sounds to me like you are only staying with him for financial support. Get out and get a job and take care of yourself.

1 Like

Life’s too short to be treated like anything but a queen. I’d have to go.

I think you could go in to see a counselor or Pastor about the problems your having and see if yall can open up to discuss things to repair the relationship unless your husband doesnt wanta try to change i feel its a sad situation…pray to God and leave it in His hands and i pray things get better for yall! I’m so sorry he’s also interested in homosexuality and this is very heartbreaking and he must repent of this lifestyle and stop…i had a cousin affected in this lifestyle but he changed when a friend witnessed to him and started going to church n got saved …so th eres hope for these people but they have to admit they are sinners and ask God’s help and forgiveness and change…:pray::pray::pray:

U need to take care of urself not be dependent on anyone. Then u can do whatever u want and not settle.

You ARE settling. You can love someone all you want but if you

1 Like

You have one life to live. If you are not happy don’t stay and waste your life.

1 Like

Stay close to your family. Let him go. You need to get a job and be independent. You deserve better.

Let’s see, you have been with a guy for seven years and are not married. He cheats on you and could expose you to a harmful std. you don’t work like so many single moms do. Are you afraid of him? Your family seems to want to help and you’re thinking of leaving because he doesn’t like the arrangement. Cut your loses and let him go. Get some help, find some courage. You’re setting a really bad example for your kids that they will pick up on when they’re older

7 Likes

You should have booted his sorry ass out the door the first time you caught him cheating. Life’s to short to put up with that crap.

Find someone to talk too. You need to get out!

If he likes men you need to move on neither of you will ever be truly happy

Put 1 foot in front of the other and walk away. Life has a way of working itself out. U can b happy.

If you caught him once , he will do it again. You have to want better for yourself and your children .

I’m so sorry you have to go through this

Get out he doesn’t love u just wants the persona of a family 

I think you know what to do

1 Like

Just Stay There Until YOU Can Walk Away and Not Look Back.
CHEATING with same sex.
I could never touch him, kiss him ever again without thinking WHERE HIS LIPS HAVE BEEN. :face_vomiting::face_vomiting::face_vomiting::face_vomiting::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream:

He wanted to cheat on you with a man ??? Sorry you can’t fix that !

Sorry you’re in the wrong relationship

WHAT really my gosh leave already.

If you like it. I love it!

For starters…don’t have any more kids.

2 Likes

Cut him loose. Better off without him !!

What are you waiting for, to get Aids? Think of your children and leave

I’m guessing he wants a man. Run

1 Like

Look. You can’t be a man. I’m sure he loves you, but if he is attracted to men, then he is at the very least, bisexual. You can’t be that for him. Again, I’m sure he loves you, and you love him, but the fact is, you don’t have a marriage. You have a relationship. Now the relationship has to be strained from all of this. Set him free and set yourself free. You can co- parent, but I myself see your relationship will slowly dissolve. He has probably already been with men, you just didn’t catch him. You don’t have to hate him, you can’t live wondering, worrying, watching him and checking his phone, computer ect. It isn’t healthy and your kids need to see a normal, healthy, and happy couple to know what it is when they get in a relationship. I’m really sorry, but I think you should part now, stay friends if you can, and just realize you can’t be what each other needs anymore. Your not to blame for this. He may have tried to be straight, but he obviously can’t be, and you deserve a man to love you as a straight man and woman love. I will pray for you both. God bless.

He wants to be with another man.

You ARE settling. You can love someone all you want but if you are not happy, it’s never going to get any better. It sounds like he is bi-sexual and if you are not into that sort of thing, I would do what someone else suggested. File for custody and child support and take care of you and your children first. When the right one comes along, he will love you and your children and you will know. Settling only brings heartache in the end with you shedding all the tears! Take it from someone who lived with a cheater. I lived in it for 10 years and was miserable while he was doing what he wanted to do. Good luck.

He is cheating with another Man​:bangbang::eyes:
Leave before you catch something that u can’t git rid of.

Caught him twice, and with men? That’s your answer right there. Get out now. Before he passes diseases to you and then have bigger problems. The relationship didn’t turn out as you wanted. Time to move on and file for custody and child support NOW.

6 Likes

It effects your children as well as it effects you, I was married to a man for almost 13 years we had a great relationship until we got married then all hell broke loose he physically, mentally, and verbally abused me for 13 years. what he put me through effected our son badly, it was getting so bad I was scared that he might kill me I was working alot of hours and had saved quite a bit of money and I was done after my last beating I said to myself I’m lucky right now but if this continues one of us was going to die and I didn’t want it to be me I had so many thoughts of bashing in his head while he was asleep, made me realize what would happen to my son. I stayed with him because of my son and talking with people opened my eyes I don’t deserve this and its not fair to my son for him to witness all this abuse, my son even though he was only 5 he tried to help me from getting beat and my son got hurt trying to help me. So dont let this be a factor about you and your children you all deserve the life that you have always dreamed of. Yes I was scared, but the moment I walked out that door there was a sense of peace and felt like I was reborn that I no longer had to worry if today was the day that might be my last. Best of luck to you.

Find a job, set yourself up to be able to support your kids and self, and you will know when the time is right. Many years ago I was married to a man who became a very dangerous, violent, alcoholic. I sat him down one day and told him he needed to stop drinking, or I would file for divorce. He didn’t stop and I was ready to file for divorce but discovered I was pregnant. I was never and still am not a nag. I never brought up divorce again, I had a job, I waited until I had the baby and the morning that third child got on the school bus, his first day of school, I got into my car, went to a lawyer’s office and filed for divorce. The papers were served that night. he was shocked, but it was a done deal. He is now in his 80’s still drinking. Just get yourself together financially and be prepared for when you know what time is right for you.

14 Likes

Deep inside you know the answer , he is lying to himself, obviously he likes men , nothing wrong with being Gay , but lying hurts you , what are you waiting for ,for him to leave you for a man,you have enough family support, love yourself, your children.

1 Like

Maybe neither of you are truly happy in the relationship. He seems to be either bisexual or a gay man. Have an honest discussion. What can you live with? If you want someone who is going to be 100% faithful to you then he is probably not that person and you should move on. Is he a good dad? If he is then he will want to and deserves to have a continued role in your kids lives.

He was planning to cheat on you with men? Is he closeted gay? Bi? Is his questionable sexuality an issue for you? Are you ok with raising your children with someone that you don’t feel passion for? This will be what they grow up expecting a “healthy” relationship to look like. Why does your family not like him? Is it because of the potential cheating? Or something else?

I think you already know the answer to your question if you are asking…Is he gay and just pretending or Bi? Cuz if he’s gay there’s nothing u can do…if he’s bi he was still cheating. I’d leave regardless of sexual orientation orientation tho just over the cheating

Sounds like your settling. If he’s gay, he’s gay. That’s not going away. I say move on but don’t part on bad terms. Get some marriage counseling for now.

1 Like

If hes trying to cheat with men he is either gay or bi. Hes probably already cheated. Is that what you want?

Sounds like you need to sit and have a good o’ talk with HIM. tell him EVERYTHING you feel. (For one thing girl he is cheating on you with MEN. He’s gay, or bi. Are you comfortable with that?) If he’s in the closet, you need to move on and let him come out! If he wants to be a father still , make custody agreements. It’s sad you have 3 kids to deal with, when this behavior doesn’t sound like something that all sudden started. Honestly sounds like you should have reevaluated relationship BEFORE having kids, or at least so many. (Kids DO NOT fix relationships!) … I’d stay where you are since your family will help support you…let him move to where ever he wants.

You know if he’s gay he will not stay with you anyway…

I think gay cheating is a deal killer.

Leave cheating is cheating

When i wasnt willing to put up with the shit anymore. If you qre considering it, its probably time

This same day prayer saved my life when i had lost hope:Dear reader, after my husband divorced me for another young lady, my mom advised me to consult with Mama Shamina. I was resistant at first but the fact that i still loved and missed my husband which motivated me to contact her for help. I was really not sure what to expect so i asked her to restore my marriage and also chase away the girlfriend who was breaking my marriage apart. My life was really a mess because we used to fight with my husband day & night because of the girlfriend who used to call him every night even knowing that he was a married man. I consulted Mama Shamina and she gave me some holy oil.She prayed for me and i remarried my husband with in 24hrs only. She also prayed for our business and our finances multiplied rapidly.There is no way i could thank MAMA SHAMINA than telling the world about her.If you have similar problems such as finances, marriage, with your children or even success, don’t hesitate to contact her +27673785858

We are so blessed to have you. Love you Katey Colwell

One. You can’t force your family to like anybody. Muchless forgive them. That isn’t in your control whatsoever, so quit worrying about it. It shouldn’t affect your decision in this matter. Your marriage is between you and your husband. Not you, your family, and your husband, and whoever else who has an opinion.

Two. This one is two fold. Have you talked to him about his parenting role and your expectations? Tell him how you FEEL and how his lack of presence in it makes you feel!
Two and a half. Have you had a talk with him about his sexuality? I think before you call it quits and walk away you need to make damn sure you’ve explored every avenue possible to see if he is willing to change or if it’s a phase, or if he’s just not happy. Cheating is bad. But same sex cheating makes me wonder if he’s just living a lie and that’s the real root of his current unhappiness. Now needs to be where the honesty comes out. You need to ask to understand, not ask to judge him. I think, if you’re at a place where neither of you are happy, and clearly something needs to change, then this is a good discussion to have now. You need to know where you stand to even determine what you need to do here. I would approach it and say hey, this is where we’re at. I have questions and I need the truth. Even if it hurts me to hear it, I need you to be honest with me. You will always question your relationship and already are if you don’t seek the answers to your questions. Your family’s negative influence and close proximity could also be part of the problem. Regardless, you need to dig deeper and find the answers to your questions. This probably should be a discussion and decision you two make together. You both deserve happiness, no matter what that looks like in the future. You’ll be better parents or coparents for it. Those sweet babies depend on you both.

Try a councillor. Most relationships cannot make it through infidelity without it. And stop having his babies.

Should have left when you found out he was into men

The kids need their Dad and where are you going to find a man who will let you raise your children without you going to work? If you show him how much you appreciate him he can be the guy you want.Good luck !

It’s his makeup you won’t change that way he is good luck

Staying in a bad relation is awful for the kids far worse than staying

The grass is not always greener on the other side… try planning some dates together, family outings, and talk to each other…

If you caught him cheating and with men, then he is gay or bi. If he is gay, he is gay and no matter what you do, he won’t be happy and thus, neither will you. You say he is meh, not great bad, not great. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with, meh? It is time to sit down and have a REAL talk. He wants to move back, you don’t, those feelings are not going to go away and either you go your separate ways or one of you is going to have to give in and that isn’t fair either. Good luck.

My Grandmother always told me…You will never leave until you are tired of being sick and tired…trust me it stands true til this day…you will know…the feeling will be overwhelming…it still hurts but you will be laser focused enough to pick up the pieces and move forward to what you deserve not what you settle for!! Good Luck

Him being attracted to men is not something yall can work on to get better. He is attracted to the other gender! Stay friends and be good coparents but you need to leave him and start your own new life.

Leave him!
God has so much more for you
Pray for faith

Hes way too whiney. When he should be happy you kept his butt

Oh for goodness sakes. You man is either gay or bisexual. There’s nothing wrong with it either way but you have to decide if you’re willing to stay with a cheater. If you’re okay with an unfaithful man, stay. If you’re not okay with it, go. Just make a decision.