I’m currently pregnant about to give birth and I don’t want to be the mom that yells. I’m exhausted to the max and obviously stressed but I don’t want to be the mom the yells shut up at my babies even though they can’t understand words. It’s the volume and tone that makes babies upset. This isn’t something I do all the time but it’s enough to make me feel incredibly guilty and I just would love tips on how to be better because my babies deserve nothing but the best. I don’t want them remembering mommy yelled
Long story short, my dad wasn’t in my life and my mom could’ve cared less. I was raised by my grandparents and I find that lately I have been yelling a lot when angered towards my littles.
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I totally understand how you feel. I’m pregnant as well and sometimes it just very overwhelming. Maybe ask your mom or husband to watch them for a little bit on a weekend day so you can just relax. Take deep breaths. Write things down. Ask your husband to help more around the house so you have a little more down time
Your a grown up woman now. Your actions are all on you not momma and dad. Change. Do better than them for your children.
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You don’t have to be the mom that yells! Look into gentle parenting. There are so many great resources nowadays to help with that. 
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I often just walk away from my kids when I feel I’m going to lose my cool. It sounds like your kids are a bit younger then mine but I also tell them mama needs a minute and for the most part they will give me a minute. But also know that we’re all human and we ALL lose our cool sometimes. Asking for help is a great first step so good on you for doing that! There’s heaps of different parenting pages and groups that I have picked up different phrases for different situations from as well
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I would put myself on time out, Your hormones are on high speed. You fear you will be like your parents even though you r trying not to be. You r on the right track. Find a mommy group
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Give yourself a time out everytime you start to feel like you’re going to yell. I did that and it helped me
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The fact you reached out with such a question already means you are a good mumma 
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Give yourself grace & recognize that you’re self reflecting. Seems like you’re off to a good start by realizing you can do better and you WANT to do better. Next step is practicing what you preach. If you really want to be the mom you strive to be(not like your own folks), actions!! You can do it, just gotta do the work and believe in yourself.
Be smarter than a 3rd grader ! Lol 
Or else. . . . .
Your an amazing mamma you very tired
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make going silent quiet scary or then being loud. I did that and now my sons fear is the silence than the yelling. Just another way of punishment. I also make my son start a sticker collecting good behavior first-grade stickers from the teacher on top of others. So the thing to think about
Ooh Lord girl I could have written this. I’ve become a yelled and I’ve also taken to spanking my youngest and I never spanked her older sisters. It all links back to anxiety!! See a therapist and try to manage your anxiety and even take mess if you need them. Don’t be ashamed to get help.
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Gentle Parenting is a great group to look into!
When you feel yourself getting frustrated or angry, take a deep breath, step away for a minute if you can. Try to find something else to say when you need them to quiet down. I know this sounds nuts, but when my kids were younger and driving me insane, I started training myself to SMILE and say, “be quiet please.” It’s hard to use harsh words when you’re smiling. Another thing I’ve tried to reach my kids is to stop and look at my eyes while I’m talking. Does it always work? Nope.
Nobody is perfect. Sometimes Moms yell. You clearly love your kiddos very much to seek advice about this.
Also, I was 
crazy when I was pregnant…bless you!
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I put myself on time out. You r a good mom pregnancy is emotional enough without other kids. Also find someone to talk to youll be amazed at how many other moms feel the same
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I get it! Soooo frustrating. Its hard. Just let them know how much you love them best you can. Love yourself and be the best mom you can!
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If they can’t understand they must be awfully young.
Reaching out for help is the right way. As mammas sometimes we lose our cool and that’s normal. The way we handle it is what we are responsible for. When I raise my voice towards my son I make sure it’s for extremely bad behavior or I use my serious tone vs my nice normal tone.
For example my son is older he’s four but sometimes he likes to scream in my face.
I use the serious tone and say we don’t scream at people it’s mean.
With younger children it’s harder to just explain things but redirecting is important. If your young child is screaming figure out why they are upset or screaming and say why don’t we come do this instead pick a quiet activity.
Look up ideas on gentle parenting and discipline.
You love your kids because you want to fix the problem that’s the first step. Good luck mama
This is just beyond sweet… sounds like you’re already a great mother 
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Alot of families were brought up by the grandparents or one grandparent. You are not alone and instead of being angry and bitter taking it out on the world you were loved by a family member. How many families have no parents bringing them up but other people are. You need to deal with that bitterness. Don’t worry my mother had anger issues and was always yelling at me as a kid. You are useless filling my ears with hurtful words. Become a better parent and get help its hard work bringing up kids. Try not talking and remove yourself to another room to protect your kids what comes out of your mouth. No child should hear horrible words and stop screaming at them. Find some awesome parent groups dads and mums who can offer you assistance. It’s hard work being a parent and raising kids you can’t do it by yourself.
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I have 3 kids. 10, 5, and 2 … I yelled a lot I til recently. My poor 10 year old. Because he got the brunt of my frustrations. (Young single mom with no real support system) And finally I sat down with my oldest and my middle child, about a year ago. I apologized. I said I don’t wanna be the mama that yells at her babies. I explained that I was wrong and asked if I could have a second chance. Explained that I need to practice using my words and not yell at them. My middle child kind of understood, but my oldest hugged me, said he forgave me, told me he loved me too, and said we can work on it together. Since then, have I yelled? Yes. Definitely not as much. I’ve apologized every time, and then we talked about how we all felt. It’s been a long year. But I can feel myself changing. My temper is somewhat under control. And they understand that when Mama says she needs to walk away and think about my feelings, to just give me a minute to breath. And my kids do the same. It’s a learning process for all of us. Hang in there Mama.
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Sometimes you have to sit them in a safe spot and take a second to regroup. I have issues dealing with stress and anger. You may want to find a way to give yourself a minute to evaluate the situation. I have had to put my daughter in her crib for a minute and walk away to just give myself a new perspective. They can understand feelings and emotions before we think they can. Being a mom can be stressful, and it comes with a lot of rewards. Just make sure that you tell them that you do love them, but you need a minute to get yourself together. My daughter is 5 months old in a week, and I tell her she’s being an absolute butt sometimes. When I walk away, I tell her I will be back. Nobody is perfect, but you’re doing the best you can. That’s all you can do. You got this, Mama!
Take 10 deep breaths but honestly don’t beat yourself up too bad it’s probably just the pregnancy hormones. Do you have anybody you can trust with your littles that can watch them a couple of hours here and there for you to get a break. Check around for some mommy classes get to know some of the women there and maybe y’all could trade off a few hours a week. Just a thought
Just the fact that you are asking , makes you a Great Mom.
I was the same. I raised 4. I yelled at them all. Not all the time but ,I really tried to stay calm. I would tell myself to count to 10 and then answer. But, it doesn’t always work that way. We always slip.
I pray. I ask God for guidance and direction and to put a lock on my mouth. 
. I definitely refrained from using stupid or shut up. I was very diligent about it. I also told them it was not allowed to say to one another. Pray. God bless. 
Following as this is my constant struggle. I made it through the morning but my son tested me hard for hours after I got home from worm till I screamed 
never thought I’d get this bad and I try everyday to be better.
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Every mom yells at their kids if they tell you they don’t it’s a lie. Then at the end of the day when we watch them as they sleep we feel as if we could if did better. Don’t be hard on yourself if normal talking isn’t working it’s ok to change your tone it’s not like your beating them but when you say babies hopefully not like 6/8 mths babies. Some toddlers however need a little tone change. I fuss at mine more than I like to but she just does not listen AT ALL lol. If I pop her every time I would be doing it all day so I choose not to.
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You’re an amazing mom, having kids is tough, can’t imagine all the stress you’re going through. When I’m upset or mad because my girl is giving me a hard time I just breathe and shut the f up because I don’t want to say something harmful, try to leave the room or just take a minute to count while all the energy is going down. Also crying is something that gives me a lot of relief 
I yell too, then I feel guilty afterward. I don’t always yell, just when
I’m under stress. But I have bad anxiety and sometimes panic attacks. I apologize to my son after, but still it’s hard parenting alone. These are all great tips. Best of luck to you too. And I agree with Shawna Gerry, meds help.
I wish I could call you mama you’re doing a great job
I’m 38 weeks pregnant with my 3rd as well. I’ve noticed personally that my fuse has been shorter, probably because I’m so pregnant and so uncomfortable. With that being said I have a 4 year old and a 17 month old. I apologize to both of them when I feel I had an outburst or maybe yelled at them beyond what they deserved. I try to explain it as best as I can And I know they won’t understand fully but as they continue to grow I will continue to do the same. Let them know you are human, and you have emotions too, and WE ALL make mistakes but it’s important to own them. Also if you feel it is extreme it could be early PPD. I had it with my first and there was many signs that I ignored before delivery, don’t be afraid to discuss with with your obgyn now being a mom is hard! Give yourself some credit and some flexibility! Your doing your best and that’s what matters 
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This isn’t my post but reading the comments and encouragement of other momma’s just helped me a ton with my parenting 
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I really don’t have words of advice other than to walk away for a few minutes because I understand completely where you coming from I just want to tell you that you were brave for asking for help and you should be proud of yourself
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I’m a single mum of a seven year old, hyperactive, attitude filled little man and I also suffer with bpd… what’s (semi) working for us is if I yell, he asks me to take some deep breaths with him, the same thing I do when he’s overwhelmed. We hold hands and breathe together and then reassess the situation. I’m not sure this would work for your situation (as I’m thinking your kiddies are too little) but please remember to be kind to yourself! raising kids is hard, messy, frustrating and exhausting… but so rewarding! You’re doing an amazing job mumma
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Honestly, you’re going to get frustrated, you’re going to lose patience and you’re going to yell. What matters is that you try to understand that children think emotionally and not logically. Have talks with your children, let them know you’re sorry you yelled, and explain why. I tell my daughter that I’ll try to do better but I also need her to listen as well. Try to be aware of yourself when you are upset or frustrated. That helps me to be like “okay, calm down, they are just children, I can do this without yelling” it helps at times.
You got this!
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It’s definitely hard being so far along in pregnancy. I’m 34w with three littles and I have been yelling/ losing temper a lot more lately than so. If it wasn’t like this before ur pregnancy then it’ll get back to normal shortly after baby is born. Hopefully baby is an easy baby. I wish I had some advice but I’m pretty much going through same thing myself.
You be the parent you wish you had. I understand exactly where you come from. My dad was never there and my mom was on drugs. My grandparents raised my sister and I and I always promised myself and my kids I would NEVER be my parents. I wanted to be better than them and break the stigma that my parents started. I was a teen mom at 16 I am now 28 I’ve come a long long ways and no where near perfect but I know for sure my kids are happy healthy and I’m there from sun up to sun down I have worked so hard to be more Patient and understanding listening to stories and staying off my phone when they want my attention. You got this mama
Being pregnant and being hormomal that goes with that pregnancy is normal the fact that you care enough to put this post up shows that you are a good mumma
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I am a yeller. Sometimes when my anxiety is high I hate myself because I yell so angrily. Parenting is hard. My oldest has ADHD and other issues that I’m trying to have diagnosed. She is really mean and hateful towards her baby sister and says how much she hates us all constantly. It’s so hard. I cry because I know something isn’t right, but it’s hard not to lose it when my kid talks back 24/7. Also the constant bickering drives me insane. Ugh…I love my kids and want the world for them but parenting is so hard😭
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When my kids were very young, I told myself the same thing. I was not going to treat my children the way my mother treated me growing up. I called my doctor and actually told him, “I don’t want to yell at my children and be like my mother was to me growing up.”. He put me on celexa and it was a life changer for me. 20 years later and I still know it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Best of luck to you in breaking the cycle.
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When you feel so mad that you wanna roar
Take a deep breath and count to four
Honestly. Start singing when you get stressed out. It sounds weird but it’ll change the tone of what’s going on.
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Good for you for recognizing you could be doing better. Your already a good mum. A couple of tricks I learned working with children that I use as a mum are…
It’s all about tone, you dont need to shout if you can lower your tone when they miss behave, say things like “that is making mummy cross and I dont want to use my big voice”
Never refer to the child as naughty, dont say you are naughty say that behaviour is naughty and you need to change your behaviour. This is so children dont begin to think they are bad, they are still learning.
Always wait 10 seconds before repeating yourself, this is how long a child takes to process a command. Ask once “put your shoes on” wait 10 seconds then ask again, dont keep saying put your shoes on, no one likes to be nagged and it becomes confusing in a childs head.
Always come down to your childs level when speaking to them.
And finally dont try and reason with a screaming child, they cant hear you. Hold them or walk away give space. You know yourself in an arguement if someone is shouting at you you dont listen. Just wait, when the shouting stops be the gentle voice that says “come on darling let’s talk about this”.
Please dont ever be scared to walk away, give yourself 5 mins it’s ok to do that for your own well being.
But most importantly love them just like you already do xx
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The fact that you want to do better, I think counts for a lot. Keep in mind your probably very tired and completely exhausted. You could try some parenting seminars, calming techniques like counting to 10 before you react. Or even see your doctor maybe they can help/suggest some medication that may help (not for everyone of coarse). Your plate is full and I admire you for trying to do better. Bless you
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I agree with Farren that you feeling guilty for these outbursts already shows you’re a good mother.
Maybe try seeking some professional help to also teach you some strategies designed around your emotions specifically.
Keep God in your house and heart, He will guide you
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How old are we talking. Maybe put them in the push chair so there safe an go out the room or into the garden, sit for 5 minute so your calm. Then go in and read to your little one. It calms a situation if you can remove yourself for a moment. Good luck mama. Xx
@biglittlefeelings on Facebook and Instagram xx
The fact that you’re realizing it & worry that you’re not being a good mom or that you’re making not so great choices by yelling at them, just shows that you’re a good mom! When u get stressed, make sure they’re in a safe place & go take a breather. Come back to them, get down to their eye level & explain what to them why you are upset. If you want to take it a step further, get into parenting classes. They teach you so much about how to be able to communicate better & stress less. Give yourself credit for wanting to & trying to do better.
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I have a 2-year old cyclone who thinks he is a cat. When I catch him doing something he shouldn’t, it makes him notice I am not playing around when I yell. You are pregnant a lot of hormones raging, and probably feeling so done. Tired, worn out, and yes the little ones understand more than you think. It is a lot of work, especially if the significant other isn’t helping out much, but not sure since it isn’t mentioned on here. Ask for a break. Ask to have a few hours to yourself, to regroup. I have 7 kids. 6 boys 1 girl. My teenagers will go outside for a bit with the younger ones and play outside, so I can regroup and get some housework done. Then back to it all over again a 2-year old cyclone…
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When I would get overwhelmed with everything, I would walk away. I would go outside and sit on the steps and ignore everything until I was calm
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Breathing works wonders. Take a breath, and ask yourself, will reacting to your emotions loudly help your situation…
If it will, yell away.
If it won’t, take another deep breath, center yourself (basically breath until you feel the core of your body relax), and then be the bad btch you are and conquer the situation.
Work on breathing with your Littles. It seems weird when they’re so young, but it works. My 2 year old does it when upset now, and my olders are pretty good about it too.
Label your emotions. Then label WHY you feel that way. Is it just being agitated with the situation, or is it related to your trauma?
If its basic agitation, take 5 minutes to let yourself feel it to move on.
If its trauma, make an appointment with a therapist and remind yourself you are NOT your parents and that you have love for your babies, even when you get frustrated; then give your babies big hugs and remind that how loved they are.
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1 - the fact that you want better for your kids already proves you’re a good mom. 2 - give yourself a break. Literally and figuratively. All moms lose their shit on their kids sometimes. They know what buttons to push on your worst days. 3 - give yourself a literal break. Don’t forget about yourself, don’t exhaust yourself to the point of constantly reaching that point. Practice some self care, do what you can to simplify things so you stay calmer (organization, routine, kids knowing their boundaries and being consistently disciplined) 4 - you can feel when you’re about to lose your cool. Before you snap, take a few minutes. Put them in a quiet spot so they calm as best they can, and then you gather yourself so you can discipline without screaming.
I had 1 parent that disciplined by flying off the handle, and I promised I wouldn’t do that. Sometimes I succeed, other times I fail. There is no perfect parent, we just have to try to do the best we can for our Littles. 
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If you’re yelling your toolbox is lacking and you are realising this. It’s a start! So the next two steps are to 1. Do what you need to take care of yourself. This may be enlisting your partner to be a more active partner/parent, or enlisting trusted friends for practical help, or telling your doctor you’re experiencing hormone related anger/depression/anxiety, or seeking therapy to unpack your childhood, or ensuring restful sleep/hydration/nutrition, among other things. Maybe it’s all of the above! 2. Learn about gentle collaborative parenting. Most of it requires you to set them up for success at this age, so for example you would turn the space they spend the most time in into a YES space, safely secured via baby gates. Everything in that space should be ok for them to touch or climb or whatever as much as is reasonable. Then you phrase things positively to redirect them. This maximizes their ability to succeed. I find it also helps to be educated on normal child development to keep expectations realistic, like I wouldn’t expect impulse control from a toddler and no matter how many times you say it or how loudly you yell, it won’t magically make them more able to have impulse control. That develops later.
You and your babies are a team, on the same side, always. Gentle collaborative parenting honors and centers that bond. And that’s the kind of mommy your babies deserve. Set the example for them of the REAL work that goes into self-care, be kind to yourself and pass that onto them so they recognise what love looks like in the future so much easier than your journey has been. We don’t want our babies to settle for people who yell at them!
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I’m assuming it has more to do with pregnancy hormones unless you did this before being pregnant. Give yourself a break. If you find you’re ready to start yelling put yourself in time out. Figure out what’s frustrating you, compose yourself then try dealing with the issue.
If this continues after the baby is born then consider counseling to get to the root of your issues
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Even the most patient mom is going to lose it at times.
Keep your head up momma you’re doing great.
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Although I’m not pregnant but dealing with 5 kids my self I love all the advice. And asking for help does not in any way make you a bad mom.
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I am an addict in recovery and got clean when my kids were 4 and 7. It was hard to handle the stress of trying to stay clean while parenting my kids who I recently regained custody of. I used to yell quite a bit. It was my reaction to stress or tense situations. My daughter would scream so loud sometimes my ears would crackle and I’d lose it. I ended up feeling guilty, like a monster.
I had to teach myself not to. I would leave the room and cool off before reacting or count to ten before reacting. I just had to make a conscious effort and was able to stop for the most part. Still, several years later I have my moments but generally can handle things without yelling today.
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Yelling At our children happens. As long as you can recognize it and apologize to them and show them love after, it will help with their emotions towards it. When I do it I apologize to my toddler right away. I’m also 3 weeks away from having my baby which is a factor with my lack of patience with my toddler. Also, this is a time your children need you most as they can tell change is about to happen (when the baby comes). Try to interact with them more and do activities and such. If you find yourself irritable give yourself some alone time and ask somebody for help so you can have a break. If you don’t have that option. Place them in a safe area of the home and take a few minutes to yourself and keep checking up on them. Once you’re ready just return to your daily.
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I constantly tell myself that my frustration needs to be handled when I’m alone and not in front of my kids. I also remind myself that my children don’t require me yelling in order to listen to me or follow directions- they listen better when I’m calm. If I’m frustrated and I yell then it’s counterproductive. I remove myself long enough to calm down, then I resume talking to them to get better results overall.
I recommend taking their hands in yours- it’s hard to yell in someone’s face therefore when they’re facing you with their hand in yours and standing in close proximity they’re also focused on what you’re saying and you will not feel the need to raise your voice to communicate with them.
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Before speaking to them, give yourself 3 seconds to think about what you’re going to say.
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Deep breaths. A lot. Incorporate a couple of breaths in and one out with the baby too over time and you’ll see it makes a difference. It’s okay to take an extra minute outside of the nursery and wait to go back in after you’ve gathered yourself. Invest in a tub of earplugs too because when you’re right there in the thick of it, it is hard to not be the person who hollars back. You’re doing great. 
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There’s no one answer that will help you change the way your brain is wired, but wanting to be more patient and yell less is a great start! What works for me when I’m over stressed is remembering that this will pass. Kids, even the best behaved can really bring on the stress sometimes. Chances are you’re not handling things poorly and they’re not bad kids, nor will they turn out to be bad people so don’t feel guilty about the madness. Just realize that for now, they will drive you crazy because that’s what kids do and it will be a phase. Another thing that helped me is realizing that kids probably won’t remember their behavior. They won’t remember always running around and never giving you a break or having to be politely told 1,000 times to put on their shoes, but they will 100% remember how you were. They will remember if you shouted a lot or if you were impatient with them often. They will remember if when you’re not compassionate when they get hurt doing the thing that you’ve spent the last hour telling them not to do and so for me, that has helped me be patient. One day, you won’t be interrupted while you try to have one second to yourself to brush your teeth and you’ll have time to shave like a normal person instead of someone competing in an extreme sport, but for now, embrace the crazy, unconditional love that is having children😉
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I honestly think even the best moms have their breaking points. I know I’ve been guilty of this recently myself and the best thing that has helped me so far is silence and a few deeps breaths maybe leaving the room for a minute and remind yourself they are little and learning how to navigate life for the first time. When I feel like I’m about to run my mouth or yell about something that isn’t even that serious I just say to myself silence and remember that they are listening and watching everything even if it seems like they aren’t. It’s harder than it seems some days but instead of saying anything at all I say nothing lol. My mom yelled about everything and said stuff she didn’t really mean in the moment and I try to remember how that felt to me as a kid. Good for you for recognizing yourself doing this and wanting to be better I think that’s the toughest part to overcome for many. Good luck 
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I take calming breaths before I explode. If by the time I’ve taken 10 breaths I still feel angry then I will talk to my child. You will be shocked at how much they understand even from small
I say this to almost everyone and I do it for myself as well… (I also work in mental health) Go find a good therapist or counselor, not because you’re doing anything truly “wrong” at alllll- moms make mistakes and we are ALL humans and you deserve grace&the fact that you’re concerned about this issue says volumes about how much you care. The reason I say this is, that past lack of care is damaging, it’s hurtful, and a healed Mama is a happier and healthier one. Sending you good vibes and tons of hugs&love other Mama!!! 
You’re already a much better parent because you’re there and you love them. You said yourself it isn’t often that you have yelled. It’s okay to lose your temper. What you should do is always learn to apologize to your babies when you lose your temper. Tell them that Mommy is still learning too and it’s okay to have angry feelings. Communication and validation of feelings is such an important thing to teach your babies. Also learn to take them seriously when they lose their tempers. You’re doing a great job. You’re a good mom. Good luck, Mama.
The guilt goes away after realizing sometimes ur lil a$$holes are being just that. I swore up and down I wouldn’t be that mom and then just all of a sudden I was that mom. As long as there’s still love, don’t stress it. Your doing your best.
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I suggest a simple parenting class to help you manage better. I didn’t think I needed to go bur it really helped me out!
Practise the pause. Stop feel think then do. Tell them mummy needs time out and remove yourself for a few mins to take some deep breaths and calm down. If you do yell, simply apologise for your behaviour. And give them a hug. Your only human! X
There’s lots of books on gentle parenting x The Gentle parenting book makes you think about the behaviour child is displaying and what/how they are communicating . Xx give yourself a break too you’re juggling a lot xx
I ALWAYS hate yelling at my daughter. Sometimes her actions require yelling. When the situation is done and we’ve both leveled out we talk about it.
If I’m yelling and realize it’s because I’m upset about something that has nothing to do with her or yelling at her for something she has no control over (ie us running late bc I didn’t wake us up on time) I try to take a deep breath and stop everything completely. I apologize for yelling. I tell her I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’m yelling because I’m frustrated and I’m frustrated because we’re late. I then ask her “why are we late” she answers “because we woke up late” and then I say “yes, and who’s job is it to make sure we get up on time?” She answers “yours”. So then I say “so who’s fault is it that we’re running late?” She answers “yours” and I say “yes exactly. It’s my fault. Is it fair that I’m yelling at you?” She says no.
“Is it OK that I’m yelling at you for something I did?”
No
And then I apologize again and tell her I’ll try better next time. We usually hug it out.
You’re a mom and you’re human and have a ton of hormones in you at the moment. My mom yelled and never apologized. I don’t wanna be the mom the yells and never apologizes. The fact that you’re trying to correct is HUGE. Keep doing great mama
I just had my second baby. My son wasn’t even 2 when I had her. So I feel you. But the fact that you want help and advice tells me that you are doing great. Always look for ways to be better, but it sounds like your killing it already.
Sometimes we yell but what’s most important is that you explain why your yelling and apologize saying your sorry. We all have emotions. Be like I didn’t mean to yell at you mommy was just having a bad day. I’m sorry and give some hugs 
Try to pause before you speak (or yell), stop & have a second to gather your thoughts, take a deep breath, get down to their level (physically) and then talk with them. You may also need an adult time out, nothing wrong with that. Being a mom is stressful, being a pregnant mom is stressful, being an adult is stressful; we need time to ourselves by ourselves to destress n breath. Don’t be afraid to do that me time, even if it is only 5 mins in the bathroom crying. Another possibility is a little therapy; gym therapy, spa therapy, window shopping therapy, psych therapy; something to help you cope
I believe in a good balance between showing love/nurturing and being strict. We all yell at least once and the best thing to do sometimes is go in your room and scream into a pillow. Also showing complete understanding at that age since theyre in the midst of uncontrollable emotions and throwing fits because they don’t know how to handle it really helps them stay calm. Don’t let down your guard and show that you’re still serious when you say something(it’s good to be stern)
I always get down on my knees to my 2 yr olds level and talk to her like I would anyone else.
All in all, staying calm and not saying anything you wouldn’t want said to you is what I’ve kept in mind. I’ve had to research so much myself and just know you’re not alone. We have to look out for each other. I’m a struggle-bus myself.
Hang in there, and congrats on the new little one! 
Sometimes the best thing is to just walk away - if its between yelling and just giving yourself a minute to chill (and no one is doing anything dangerous that needs to stop immediately) then just turnaround and come back after you’ve had a minute to think about what you want to say and how to say it 
You are already a better mom, just having the desire to be better and seeking advise on how to be makes you better❤️
The fact that you care to do better means you’re probably already an amazing mom. Pregnancy is stressful and hard and it’s harder with small humans added. When you’re feeling overwhelmed I would say go find something relaxing to do when you feel like it’s too much. If they can be safely unattended even going outside to just breathe for five to ten minutes makes a difference. Just find small windows through your day to take time to yourself and just breathe. Hang in there mama, it gets better and don’t be afraid to ask for help
I always talk to my daughter like an adult when she’s up to something, and I save yelling for if she’s about to get hurt. That being said shes a super easy 2 year old and I only have 1 kid.
I think just the fact that you recognize and are trying to improve upon yourself makes you a phenomenal mom. No matter how easy someone makes it look to raise kids it’s hard and stressful and we are all struggling. My mom always gave herself a time out when she was overwhelmed.
There are really good parenting classes out there, and there are even things online or on YouTube! Im someone who did this a lot with my oldest daughter, but I was also a 18 year old FTM back then who was raised with a lot of yelling in my household… good luck on your journey of self-improvement mama It will not only help your kids, but you as well!
I completely understand how you feel, it does most likely hurt your feelings, it does mine too and I’ve cried because I feel so bad. Some say it isn’t “good” that I do this but when I feel bad I talk to my son about what I could have done better, also what he could have done better, and I always explain to him I’m not perfect, I make mistakes and even though I think my son in perfect nobody truly is we all make mistakes but its what you learn from it that matters. I’ll show him my emotions and I’ll cry when I feel bad (I’m a crybaby when it comes to my son) toddlers can be the biggest jerks, but just because they’re jerks doesn’t mean you shouldn’t talk to them calmly after those moments and let them know what you can and them can change, and need to work on. How it makes you feel, how you both can work on being better at those moments when they’re being turds and driving you crazy, but also how they can express what they really need or want from you in that moment.
I’ve learned my son is only grouchy when he’s tired or his sleep schedule is off track. Just remember everyone makes mistakes, have bad days, get grouchy, and you’re still learning no parent got a guide on how to parent. Make goals you want to reach and really strive to get there, that’s what I’ve done, walk away and take a breather, breathe in and out, maybe even sigh.
Remember how you grew up and create the loving environment that you and your kids deserve 
I just always apologize and let my daughter know mommy is human and she has bad days. Tell her I don’t mean to take out my bad days on her and let her know I always love her and I am trying to be a better me every day…I too am this mom and didn’t have positive influences growing up
You say babies that do nt understand words. If you are screaming shut up at an actual baby I say you need to reach out for help immediately, from a trusted person, Dr, therapist whatever. It could be ppd… It could be residual stuff from childhood… But you shouldnt be wanting to yell at a baby.
And trust me I understand trauma and parenting with mental illness… But yelling at a baby is pretty serious.
Bigger kids yeah it happens they can be jerks. But not babies.
My daughter is 2 & is terrible at times lol & I am pregnant also so she drains me. I was raised in a abusive home & I find myself yelling a lot. Which is a big difference from being hit for everything I did as a child🤦🏻♀️ but I still feel guilty. My grandmother suggested a “time out chair” & a timer. 1 minute each year of her age. I must say that has been working out so far (even tho I thought my grandma was nuts suggesting this) if you’d like… give it a try. I brought a school desk chair in case she wants to lean but I painted it & put the words “time out” on the seat & back. She does not get out of the chair until her 2 minute timer rings. & honestly she is only in it if there is a lesson to be learned or if she is doing something repeatedly that can harm her & not following my instructions not to do so.
Same. I just took a few deep breaths and go from there…
For me, it took a therapist’s help. Stress can trigger you into reflexively doing what you know (yelling). Best of luck!
In my experience the louder u get the louder they get so just try to calmly talk to them I understand where u are coming from dont stress yourself out too bad!!! Best of luck to you and yours!!!
I’ve felt this way before. But like someone mentioned above, step away for a min. take a breathe or two & then go back to your child & try to talk to them in a nice, calm voice. This is what i do with my 2 year old. I cant say it works 100% of the time, because they are kids & sometimes kids just give no shits at all no matter what you try. But for the most part it works for us. When he does have screaming fits & nothing i try works, then i let him have his fit & ignore it & alot of times he ends up calming down all on his own. He gets his feelings out & sees that im not giving in & gives up or moves on. Someone above mentions breathing with your child… my son will immediately go from happy to mad/upset instantly when things dont go perfectly smoothly, toy doesnt work like he wants, he cant get his shirt off on his own, etc. So we’ve been working on helping him calm down, take a breathe & tell me what his problem is vs. immediately screaming/crying/throwing things. Once he’s calm & we talk, we hug & then i talk to him about how to handle that situation next time, (i demonstrate how to do it on his own or why it doesnt work or tell him ask mom for help)
I’ve been working on the same thing… when I feel like I’m about to blow I walk away and allow my myself to calm down. I’ll tell my 4 year old to go play and I take a second to myself! It helps.
Just try to breath and think before you react. Make it a habit.
Pray mama!! He’s got all the answers you need don’t feel bad, you’re not the only one
I’m right there with you! OP-feel free to message me anytime if you need a friend to talk to💕
You need to find a way to control your anger see a therapist
I see that you are stress momma and that you need a break. At least treat yourself a hot bath or do your favorite things and let someone help you take care of your kids.
So don’t be that mommy. Take your difficult upbringing and put it aside. Only you can be the mom you want to be. Also, children most definitely understand words at a young age.
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I’m still like this sometimes but I’m gradually learning and being better. I used tik tok videos to teach me gentle parenting. A lot of the times I would go to bed crying cause I thought I was terrible mom. Now we have amazing and ok days but hardly ever do we have bad days anymore. It’s helps both of us so much
I 100% feel you, My life was is the same, my mum and dad weren’t really bad and I went into care, then got fostered by my nana and she showed me a completely different side to life, I was the only child out of 5 who got raised by my nanna and it showsss, I’m so different, parenting wise compared to my brother and sister who has kids to, I was super stressed when she was little with my baby girl, I took parenting classes and learned so much from them, how to talk to ur child, how to get on their level to make them understand you better, it’s okay to use a stern voice sometimes, sometimes it’s what they need to hear so they understand their not doing something, like when my daughter doesn’t want her dinner and has a melt down, it’s super stressful, but I just get her off the chair, hold her by her arms, kneel down so I’m to her level, and explain to her why she has to eat this so she become big and strong, obviously it doesn’t work every-time, so I make her go sit on the stairs whilst I finish my dinner then make her something new and she comes back and eats that, everly knows when she has to listen because I always look her dead in the eye and explain in the best possible way why she has to do this, or why she shouldn’t do this, it’s hard being a parent which such a rough up bringing, but you’ve got this x