How Do I Deal With Awful In-Laws?

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"They invited themselves for the holidays, volunteered our house for a family member to stay at, and nagged and nagged and nagged until we just said shut the hell up about it do what you want. I even dread having my baby because they push and push and push and just keep pushing and I'm at my breaking point. I have had so many days where I just cry because I'm so stressed because they just do whatever they want. I already know when my baby is born my life will be even more hell then it already is because they can't control themselves and I can't even stand looking at my fiance because of them. They are making me hate getting up in the morning and I know that seems dramatic but I am far too exhausted and pushed beyond my breaking point. Someone help me. Someone tell me I'm not alone."

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The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"I’m so sorry girl. You need to tell your fiancée how you feel, he needs to talk to them and tell them you need space. It’s not fair for them to constantly nag you about things, it’s your life and you need to do things how you want. I would become strict when baby is here because it sounds like it’ll get worse. You need to keep your baby safe and healthy, in general and with the whole pandemic thing. I would tell him he needs to talk to them because your breaking point will come one day sooner rather then later and it won’t be pretty."

"You need to set boundaries and keep them, whether they get pissy or not. If you don’t, they’ll just keep doing this and it will get worse."

"You need to set your boundaries. If they continue to disrespect you then cut yourself out of their lives and if your fiancé doesn’t agree then maybe you should reconsider the person your with."

"You need to nip it in the bud and stand your ground or else their going to continue thinking they can over rule what you say because you allow them to do so. Their not your boss nor do you owe them a damn thing. Your house your rules, your baby your rules and so on and so forth. It’s only going to get worse the more you keep quiet/ give in to them when you say no"

"Talk to your fiancé about it. Tell him you need boundaries with them. And tell them no and end the conversation. They want to keep going walk away or hang up and say I’ve already given you the answer, it’s not changing. Set the boundaries now before the baby comes."

"You and your fiance need to be on the same page with what boundaries you are going to set and enforce. That means your fiance needs to man up and put his future wife and mother of his child above the family he came from. It is your home too. You get to set boundaries about your home and your baby. You better bring that mama bear to the surface for your babies sake and your sanity. It’s your life. I got divorced over my ex not honoring my boundaries when it came to interacting with his family. I don’t have those issues in my current marriage because I learned to set boundaries and not feel ashamed or bad about taking care of myself. You shouldn’t either."

"Speak up and don’t be shy! People will continuing pushing when they know they can!!! And don’t even try to be nice!! Not ugly but firm!!"

"A fight with my in laws put me in labor at 30 weeks (Stress induced). For 8 weeks I was in and out of the hospital because after that my baby just kept trying to come out. You NEED to set boundaries or you and your baby are gonna suffer. I told mine straight up either they respect me or they don’t see my child and luckily my fiancé backed me up so they changed tunes real quick. But if you don’t stand up for yourself they are gonna get so much worse once that baby comes. Sometimes you have to be the bad guy in other peoples story, that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person."

"Are you all living together? That’s the vibe I’m getting from your post. If you aren’t then set your fiancé down and express your needs and expectations from him in his support of you and your family. Set the boundaries and if they can’t respect them then cut them out. If you live together and you can’t get your own place then you need to do the same thing but be a little more firm on the boundaries right off the bat."

"Gain control of your life. Set boundaries. Communication with your spouse is key. You’ve got this."

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