My fiance has had a drug problem since I’ve known him. It’s a hard drug not weed or anything like that, we have broken up a few times over it, hes gotten help and I told him if he does it again I’m done, now he lied to me saying he took some adderall which he isnt prescribed and I knew he was lying by the way he was acting. He knows how I feel about him watching pn it makes me feel 2and place like I’m not good enough and I came home to him all messed up and a ton of pn on his phone and when I asked him about it he looked me straight in my eyes and lied and then starting bringing up old shit in our relationship and we argued. I dont want to go through this again how do I tell him I’m done ?
28 Likes
Get your stuff and walk out! If you don’t, you’ll allow him to walk over you again… He believes you’ll never leave him… So at the moment he’s satisfied with you being mad cause eventually you’ll get over it… You need to go cold turkey! Get your stuff and walk out! Get a restraining order on him to where he cannot come close to you or call, text or email you… At all!!! You’ve wasted enough of your precious time!!! You are worth more than gold for trying to keep it together for him… But who helps you keep it together? Good luck and God bless! May you have the strength to be there for you!
7 Likes
Girl leave. It doesn’t get any better, I promise. I know from
Experience
2 Likes
You need a plan to escape. Don’t tell him you’re leaving. Get out .
3 Likes
I’ve been there , me and my kids lives turn totally upside down, until one day there was no help for him. He almost beat me to death and destroyed 18yrs of saving and building a life. It’s never worth it,you can’t change someone who doesn’t see the bad they’re doing
6 Likes
I’m in the same boat hun. Sucks cuz he thinks he welcomed in my house anytime just cuz we have a kid together honestly I don’t think he will ever get sober…matter of fact might OD one day…im done helping him.
1 Like
Why tell him? Get your affairs in order and leave
2 Likes
Been there, done that. My advice- RUN, and run quick! With no explanation and don’t ever look back!
As he was scrolling through my phone accusing me of everything he manifested in his mind- I walked up behind him, grabbed it, and ran! I arranged a police escort, friends, and family to get my belongings later.
Best decision I ever made!!!
Does he work? If so go take your name off of everything that it’s on and pack your stuff and be gone before he gets off… you don’t have to explain yourself to someone who won’t even tell you the truth … stop wasting your time on a person who will never change
2 Likes
exactly all this. My husband was the same way. On top of drinking too. Straight up took my kid and 
. Her life and well-being was worth way more than that shit. He did also cheat and get her pregnant which helped me too. He won’t change until he wants to. Don’t like him blow smoke up your skirt. The best apology is a changed behavior! Best of luck to you
You dont owe him any explanations…find a place to go and leave. You dont owe him a reason or explanation at all. He’s been told before so this time GO! There’s no reason to talk or argue about the same thing.
18 Likes
You get your affairs in order and u leave. You owe him no explanation. It is not on you. They have to make a choice for themselves. No matter how much you love them it will not fix it. They have to reach that point where they see their mistakes and have the drive to fix it. I know from experience. Its hard but theres just a point when you have to let go. Good luck
You told him the next time it happened you were done. My opinion you gave him the chance to clean up and he chose not to. If you stay that’s just letting him know he can do as he pleases. Get out now, you deserve so much better!
One day you’ll look back and wonder why you gave him so many chances. 
Depends on your living situation, either leave or kick him out. No discussion. Say nothing more we than it’s over. Do not have a conversation or he will just lie to you more.
He will only treat you as badly as you allow. If you chose to be done. Then be done. The fact that he is deflecting and denying when there’s solid proof, shows that he will not be honesty with himself or with you. It’s almost impossible to get through to someone like that with words alone. You have to show him your done. Say once more , you will not disrespect me like this, you will not lie to me, you need to leave. This isn’t working. I value myself more than to be subjected to this and leave it at that. Point blank. If he tries to continue to deflect by bringing up the past to take the heat off himself self. Tell him, No, I’m not going there with you. I will not argue about this and walk away.
1 Like
Just pack up and go. Leave it in a note. You don’t need to deal with a druggies logic or mood swings which can be very dangerous. Good luck I am wishing you success
Be honest with him and don’t fight just leave.Keep it simple because addicts always got someone else to blame…All you can do is say how you feel and tell him you just want different things in life and end it.Dont tell him maybe anything he will think that there’s still hope and if you don’t want to be with him on drugs don’t give him hope drugs like that make a person not think right.If you need to take someone with you do it.Maybe even a mutual friend or family member
If you’re done, you tell him you’ve given him plenty of chances…and go. You deserve a better life. He thinks you won’t leave because you haven’t and you said you would before, so call his bluff
you could try getting an EPO which would then force him out of your place but also make it so he is un-able to contact you
stay or go its your choice, but addiction dont really work like that a addict just cant quit, its really not that easy.
I’ve been through this. Best to pack and leave if you live together and you can leave. If not you owe him nothing. A simple I am through I can’t do this and I won’t allow you to bring me down with you. Then block him every way you can.
Say bye and go and in don’t be a prude just cause he watched porn is not to make you second best watch with him or go read a book do what you like
1 Like
Get your stuff and leave. If you need to, do it while he’s at work or gone. Block his number and any social media.
You don’t owe him anything. If his place, leave. If it’s urs, pack his shit. If it’s both y’alls, who pays the bills? You owe him nothing more than the time you’ve already wasted honey.
Just leave he should get the message
Just like that!! The last 2 lines of your post said it all. Sending strength
Why are we blurting out porn like it’s a cuss word ? Lol
Id just leave. Dont come back. Dont tell him anything. Druggies can be unstable. He might snap if say leaving. One day,while he is gone,put stuff in vehicle and go.
7 Likes
Just leave girl have respect for yourself.
1 Like
Leave you don’t owe him shit. Its only going to continue
Just leave he’ll get the message
Leave and try find self love
You just leave or change the locks. Block his number block on social media and ignore if see him around… Good luck
Get someone bigger than him to accompany you when you tell him you’re tired of his shit and that he’s getting out of your place, NOW. If he gets ugly, call the cops and start the process legally if he’s gonna get that stupid. Definitely don’t waste anymore of your time or effort on that shit.
I can’t/won’t do this anymore, get ya shit and get out now not later. 
pack your stuff and leave
Sounds like i wrote this…I dealt w this for 7 years. Take it from me…just go. It will get worse…wayyy worse.
Just tell him that you are done with the relationship and that you just dont see a future .who ever house it is the person should move out .
2 Likes
You don’t really need an explanation to leave him. Just leave him.
Your lucky you can leave. Todays my bday an i cant even accept a present from a friend because he is insecure. Wish i could leave. Good luck
Leave quickly do not look back!
You enable the addict, you bury the addict.
Just tell him and leave
going through this right now…
1 Like
I’m done. I love you but I won’t love you to your death.
Just tell him walk hunni x