I have been married now for six years as of November 14. My husband just left me this Sunday, and today is now Thursday. He had not messaged me whatsoever about his child until Tuesday around 12 o’clock. And still, to this day, he has not asked about her since then. I am very sure that he is cheating on me or talking to another woman. Because the last time he just decided to leave was when he told me three years ago that he had been cheating on me. He told me he didn’t love me anymore. And he was texting another person at that time. . . I am very sure I am not taking him back this time. But this still hurts because I truly love my husband. But I have to remain strong, and I have to keep thinking of the wrong he’s done so I won’t take him back. . . My daughter is five years old. My daughter hasn’t asked about her dad at all. But she does catch me crying. I don’t mention why I’m crying because I don’t know if she’ll fully understand what’s going on. When her father was at home, he wasn’t very present with our daughter or with me. He kept to himself a lot. So it makes sense why she’s not asking about him. She did say he was on a trip last night, and I never said anything like that, and she’s with me 24/7. I’m not perfect; I am human and I have flaws. I don’t want to cry over the fact that I was left by my husband but I do cry. If she catches me crying again what do I say?
Just tell her that mommy isn’t feeling right and sometimes crying helps get those feelings out. If she asks about her dad, just tell her that he went away for a while but whenever he’s done doing what he needs to do, he’ll come see her. Don’t be the mom that trash talks the dad, even as she gets older and starts to understand. Just try to move on the best you can and show her all the love in the world, even if the dad doesn’t always show up for her. You don’t have to make excuses for him but don’t trash talk him either. Just redirect her attention if she does start asking.
Tell her you just have a soare eye she’s only 5
You can still love him but not be in love with him please don’t take him back he is using you and your beautiful children you deserve to be treated like Queen’s
Just say they are happy tears for the love she brings you.
Time to call a good counselor for you both. 5 year olds are very bright and aware. It can be very harmful to tell her something other than what she knows is happening. She needs to have at least one parent she can trust and count on. Get some good help ti guide you both through
I am sorry you are hurting. You must be strong for your child. I wouldnt take him back either. No need to inform the child of adult decisions. I would stick to dad has some things he needed to take care of. Give her lots of love!!! Xxxooo
Tell her the truth , in the most simplistic way possible, she doesnt need details, however in the future she will look back at this time as a turning point in her life… letting him go is gonna be the hardest thing youve ever done, but look into your daughters eyes and vag up this will shape the way your daughter defines her relationships, her daddy will always be her daddy , but if she watches you surrender your self respect she will either follow suit or resent you…be the person you want her to be and hopefully exceed…she will make you stronger than you ever thought you were capable… its alot easier to fight for your child than yourself, not even a second thought… sad but true, use that empowerment to your advantage… sidenote never disrespect or down talk your ex ever, he is part of who she is… she will figure it out on her own
tell your child the truth.
I was 5 when my father left my mom and I. I remember it.
I was glad she told me right out instead of tryin to spare my feelings.
I used to wait for him to get home. he didnt xome back for years.
I honestly would tell her… but keep it simple… something like me and dad are going to not be together anymore… we both love you and we care about eachother but sometimes people just don’t get along… use simple terms that are not negative towards either parent… explain you are sad but that the tears help you feel better. Hugs mama… divorce is hard but stay strong for her…
I’m in a similar situation and my daughter is 5. While waiting for our Separation agreement to be final my soon to be ex husband slept on the couch he ripped a blanket that my children and I use to watch movies together. The day he left my 5 year old just knew. For the next week every day she would demand that I fix the blanket so daddy would be happy and come back.
I was trying to hold myself together he left not just me but he told me he didn’t want to be a father anymore. 16 years married. Everyone including my lawyer believes he has someone else because he rushed to get a separation and the way he behaved it was obvious. Here was my 5 yr old screaming/crying at me to fix this blanket…so I sat down with her and started the lengthy process of sewing by hand this blanket. The irony wasn’t lost on me…there I was trying to fix something I didn’t break…i changed the narrative and told my eldest two along with my youngest that this blanket represents us…the blanket won’t ever be the same it will always have that scar…but this time I will sew it in such a manner that it will be stronger than it was before. I’m still sewing this blanket its a routine that my youngest and I have…when we are done and he is still not here…i hope she will understand…it will be sad at first but I plan on having a movie night with just us girls and that blanket. We will create better memories together. He may be gone but she will always have me and her sisters.
From one woman/mom to another know your worth. You and your daughter deserve better. Trust me my biggest regret is that I didn’t leave after my youngest was born. The damage he did to our children…believe me when i say it’s better to be alone than to be stuck with a poor excuse of a man.
Say your sad it a natural feeling to have and tell you will fine soon. My 3 year old.caught me crying and I said the same she replied ‘but I’m happy’ flung her arms around me and squeezed me. You will be surprised how much she will help you get through this!! My girls are my world 
stay strong and keep yourself busy even silly little things xx
Be honest. I have always been straight up with my kid after the divorce was in motion. Some of the comments on here really made me mad. Basically lying to your children on the reason you are crying or upset. Saying they are “happy tears” isn’t going to help or teach your kids anything. Not cool with that. Kids are intelligent and just be honest and transparent. No need to sugar coat anything ever.
You tell the truth, that you don’t know where Daddy is! Hiding the truth is just covering for him, crying is part of the healing process, let those tears out but be strong and do not have him back, yes he can be a dad if he proves that’s what he wants but he has to earn that trust back! Your pain will ease trust me I know, just don’t give him the opportunity to hurt you again as he seems to have done on a couple of times already
If she asks her about her dad I would say simply that you don’t know where he is. The truth is better then bullshit and she’s 5 if she’s anything like my five yr old she will smell that from a mile away. Less lies the better. If she catches you crying again simply say you are crying because you are sad and that happens sometimes. Keep it simple and she probably won’t question it. Move on to something else. Get out of the house or go for a walk how she takes this can be guided by you, distraction still works at this age. So sorry you are both going through this break ups suck 
Just tell her you’re sad. It’s okay for your kids to know that you feel sad as well.
The fact She does not ask for him should tell you something. I think When you are over the pain of him doing this you will see that being just You & your daughter is best.
Have some self respect, Don’t go back to him. Your setting a example to your daughter. Give her the example that mom has So much more self love & self respect then being treated so Poorly by a man!
my ex was like that ended up leaving me for one of many other women 4 years later lives 5 minutes away lived 6 years with our son and still doesnt give a crap about him unfortunately. she isnt asking for him because like u said he wasnt there anyways it probably bothers you more then her . please dont take him back he already showed u and told u he didnt care before u had her he meant it clearly and isnt going to change . Kids pick stuff up more then wed like so im sure she already knows .
Heartache is the worst feeling. I’m sorry that this selfish man put you through this. I pray you don’t take him back is it isn’t healthy for you or your daughter. My heart hurts for you. I know the feeling of needing to deep cry and having to hold it in for your kids. If she isn’t asking I wouldn’t say anything. When she does ask I’d be honest with her with as little details as possible…mommy and daddy decided that we shouldn’t live together but we are still a family and love you very much. I pray for you and your baby girl. May God make you strong and may your heart heal quickly.
I wouldn’t tell her about what’s going on as adult choices shouldn’t be held on children’s shoulders.I would just tell her that,mommies just upset about a few things and it’s okay to cry.Im so sorry this is happening to you.
I remember these days. When the boys caught me crying once I just made up something. Hang in there mama. Same thing happened to me. Same words and same actions.
It hasn’t even been a week…lol.
honey 
please don’t ever take him back. Rebuild your life and find someone who appreciates and respects you. In the nicest way possible f+#k the dude!!
You just say that your heart hurts. I think it’s a good lesson for kiddos to see that even adults can have big feelings too. Having feelings is normal. If she asks about him just be honest as possible and say you dont know where he is, but you’re not going anywhere. You’re doing the right thing for you and your daughter by not taking him back. You both deserve someone that isnt just there, but someone that wouldnt want to be anywhere else. If your husband doesnt see you both as his entire world then hes blind and it’s his loss. Teach your daughter to be strong and to never settle for less.
Hold yourself together for your child so she can seek strength in you. If you are a mess she may not feel comfortable talking to you or crying to you when she figures this out and needs to cry about it. Tell her the truth that you aren’t sure when daddy will be back to visit her but that he has moved out and you two are going to have adventures. Maybe make it fun when she gets upset, camping in the living room, making her favorite foods, crafts, etc. I made the two of us a fun adventure and she loved all of the attention. She was 7 at the time and not at 19 we are closer than I could have ever imagined! Good luck!
Be truthful with her. “Daddy hurt my feelings and I’m very sad but I’ll be okay. What should we do to take my mind off it?”
Tell her the truth. Kids are smart and if he wasn’t close with her in the first place I’m sure she will take it just fine. I’d get full custody and never let him see her again. He sounds like a selfish and unstable person.
I wouldn’t bring it up until she asks especially if she is not fazed by her father being absent. Just focus on you and your daughter.
Yep be totally honest 5 or not my ex got so mad when I told our daughter he wanted to leave me for another woman I told him I was not lieing to our daughter that she needed to know the truth I wasn’t gonna have her upset with me and thinking I was doing somethi ng wrong . I was gonna let my daughter decide on her own how she felt about him . Some people think it’s best to lie to the kids keep them out of it but that’s teaching your kids wrong and I so t wanna do that at all
It’s so healthy to normalize emotions to our babies you’re a mom but you are human. I went through something similar and when it came down to it I told my kids that I was sad and that even though I love their dad, it was just gonna be us for a while. I was careful on the “why” because I don’t believe kids need to know all the details. I told them we just needed some space but that that doesn’t change that they are loved 
goodluck!
Don’t bring it up unless she asks. Go file for divorce and custody as soon as possible.
I have been in therapy for having to kick out a narcissistic sociopath. I have a five and almost 3 year old. The five year old knows that you have been mistreated by her father. I can assure you, she knows. My therapist, who is an angel, very clearly told me to tell her that Daddy has made some bad choices. That we can’t be around Daddy until he chooses to get himself some help. She was very clear about being straight forward and honest with my children. You are your babies world. You are her security and where all her tiny needs are met. I assure you, you are all she is concerned about. She will have relief and security as a result of this piece of shit being gone from your lives, even though he is her father. You nor she needs a man, ever. The happiest you will be is when you decide to get your chin up and love yourself. Your lives will
Improve tremendously over the next 3 months. Friends will reconnect with you, you will rediscover hobbies and passions. I am certain, you did not realize how miserable you were. The best news that I’ve got?? Go ahead and remove all pics of him from ALL your social media. Put some make up on, take some pretty new selfies, and change your status to SINGLE. And watch what happens girlfriend!!! You got this!!! Life is about to improve immensely!!
First off, there’s nothing wrong with showing emotion and secondly…ADJUST THAT CROWN AND SHOW YOUR DAUGHTER HOW A WOMAN HANDLES HERSELF!
It’s ok for her to see you cry as it let’s her know it’s ok to show emotion. Just let her know that Mommy is sad but will be ok with lots of hugs from her. 
I wouldn’t go into detail with her. She a child who doesn’t need to hear about adult problems. Just say he’s away.
Children are not dumb. In fact, she probably already knows exactly what is going on. Your daughter doesn’t need become you emotional support because that is a job for your best friend or therapist, but you do need to respect that 5 year olds understand more than we give them credit for and you need to be honest with her about what is going on that is going to effect her life. My always explain everything to my five year old in an age appropriate way and I refuse to lie to her.
First off, stay strong during this time. It’s fine to cry, but remember that he is the one causing the pain. He knows exactly what he is doing. He knows that he has a child. I believe he is testing you, to see how badly he can mess up and know that you’ll be there with open arms. Don’t do take him back, your little one needs you much more. She needs to see you happy and to not have the idea of love come from the way her father is treating you.
It has taken me nearly 14 years to realize this with my BD. All the lies just got to me. I decided to put MYSELF before him. My children needed to be in a safe and stable household, so I kicked him out. BEST decision ever. I’m going to tell you now, it will hurt seeing him. Hold onto all those doubts, all the awful memories because that will help you with walking away. Lastly, I would suggest praying about it. Pray for having the strength to do what is best for your daughter and yourself. It helps:pray:
File for divorce and custody. Get child support going. You’re going to need the help, make a list of what you need to do to be your own person again. Cry for awhile and then pick your self up and do your best to move on and when he comes back you tell him NO. Dont let yourself treat you as dog poop. You don’t ever have to forgive him. You don’t have to hate him forever but a lock on your heart. You need to show how strong you are. Getting out of a toxic relationship is very hard. Tell your daughter that you just didn’t make very good friends together and that being apart was the best. I wish you all things good, many women have been in your shoes and come out the other side way happier. Your daughter will pick up on your happiness.
Dont mention him. Just tell her even when you’re an adult. There are happy days & there are sad days. You can always cry when you need to.
Tell her that you upset and when a person is upset sometimes they cry and that’s ok, if she asks about her dad say daddy gone away and I’m not sure yet when he’s coming back and go from there, you got this mama stay strong x
So I am adding you into my prayers. It sounds like you are at peace a little with ehat had happened, because you have been through it before. Just begin to live your happy life with your little girl. You definitely don’t need someone that can’t love you or his daughter in your two lives. I hope & pray nothing but the best for you two lovely ladies. Be blessed & never stressed 
File for divorce, custody, and change the locks
If she asks just tell her youre sad cause dad decided to move and its just going to be you two.for awhile but reassure her both you and her will be ok. And just having her there makes you feel better give her hugs and take a few deep breaths and find something to occupy both your minds
I always told my daughter the truth. In the beginning I explained that her dad wasn’t coming around much anymore, that she always had me, and I wasn’t going anywhere. That she didn’t do anything wrong, all families are different, and I don’t know when she’ll see him again. I always made sure to let her communicate her feelings about it… Now that she’s almost 13, I’ve explained more in depth. That he wasn’t a good father and it’s not her fault, that she didn’t deserve it, and she still has me. My now-husband is going to adopt her soon, and she’s made her peace with all of it. But she knows she can still communicate about it and it’s ok to have whatever feelings she may have.
As much as the truth hurts your daughter will thankyou for being honest when she’s older…my mother lied to me about my dad and I have had nothing to do with her for 8 years…and slowly over time depending on how much time he spends with her…replace photos with newer happy memories but always keep the others for her
Tell her mommy is sad and let her give you a hug.
If she sees you crying you can say something like “mommy’s heart is sad, mommy could use a magic daughters name hug” then when she hugs you embrace the magic and exclaim “you make my heart happy”
Something like that. 
Its light and happy, but still shows her, that sometimes our hearts are sad, and that’s okay.
Also going to echo what alot of moms have already said. Go file for divorce first. File for custody. ASAP.
You got this mama.
I would file for divorce, and custody . Here is something you need to remember you are not in love with him , you are in love with the man you think he is, not the real him. Taking charge and running your own life is a good example for your daughter , you took him back once, he had his chance , move on. He will keep doing this , it’s a game to him. Do you want to have to explain this all over again when your daughter is 8 or 9 ? Having your daughter see you cry a little isn’t a bad thing, even a strong women have feeling, so she can learn how to express and deal with sad and angry in good ways, not keeping it all balled up inside. You and your daughter deserve better. Remember she is learning from your behavior how a women should expect a man to treat her.
Please you be the parent she’s five but they are very intelligent even at that age pull yourself together for her sake.
I would suggest to just be honest. Kids are smart and maybe she will not fully understand the WHYS her father would leave you guys but she will appreciate the ones who stayed and loved her and were present in her life. Stay strong mama just know better is coming for you 
So sorry no one deserves this you and your daughter deserve better As hard as it is you have to teach your daughter self respect if you excuse him your daughter will do the same later on Stay strong Its better to have one good parent than two parents who dont get along Good luck
I tell my daughter she has two loving parents separately. We just cannot live together in the same house because we drive each other crazy lol.