By the time my daughter was 13, she was doing her own laundry because she wanted to. She has had chores since she was 5. Early on it was picking up her toys and helping me clean. As she got older, clean room, no toys left in the common areas, set the table, clear the table, load and empty the dishwasher and sweep. My younger 2 are on the same path. Although my 3yr old really loves cleaning a lot lol! As for the husband, give him direction too. Some men won’t help unless you give them directions. Write up all the daily and weekly chores and divide them between you, him and the kids. Work as a team 
Have a cleaning routine (time) … I only have a one year old, but when i was living with my parents still, they would let us come home, rest from school, they rest from work then we clean up … only takes an hour/hour and a half … when everything’s done the rest of the evening and night are for homework, family time, etc…or whatever it is
Before school - all my siblings have to do beds before leaving home.
Make cleaning fun for your little one - I let my one year old wash dishes, hold the broom while i vacuum - shows me he’s learning at a very young age.
if you follow the other comments ‘let kids be kids or suck it up’ - your kids will get used to mum doing it all.
you’re doing a great job!!!
Kids should be cleaning their own rooms. They are old enough. As for the household chores it needs to be delegated. Chore chart. If kids want extras as in screen time, or anything fun then chores are to be done before. Each day each child has an age appropriate chore to do plus their bedroom. You and dad also give yourself chores to do daily
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I also run a in home daycare 60 hours a week and have a 3, 12, 23, and 25 year old and I do it all myself! No man to help me (he works out of town and only home Saturday and Sunday) and I only clean clean my house on Sunday but I sweep and pick up daily! My older kids don’t clean I do 5 kids laundry on Wednesday and Sunday and I definitely get tired but it gets done! I cook 4 days a week and weekends everyone but the little kids fend for themselves, Once I slowed down and did things on certain days it got better for me.
There is no reason in the world that everyone can’t help out. A 13 year old should be able to make an entire meal. The younger ones can totally do age appropriate chores like clearing the table and picking up their things. We had a daily rule, one person makes dinner and the other two do dishes. Then weekends we divided things three ways to get the whole house clean. (My mom and my twin, starting age 9)
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Get your kids on the roll
Ate you teaching them something???
Hire someone. And he can either let that fly, or if he doesn’t want money going towards that then he can get his lazy, misogynistic ass to work.
My 1 year old (almost two) picks up his own mess and wipes up his own spills, as I stand by of course, to get what he misses. My 8 and 10 year old daughters do daily chores as well. Both of us work outside of the home 8-12hrs a day Monday-Saturday. My husband doesn’t lift a finger in this house aside from taking out the garbage which he forgets to do literally every other week. If my one year old son knows how to clean up his own messes these grown ass men can do it too. 
I have a mantra 7 days a week.
Dressed, bed made, curtains pulled. Then take washing to the laundry. If room or living area not to standard… No gaming.
For spouse I’m too noisy to watch t.v… you get my drift.
I’m a full-time working mother. He stays home all day. That’s another story. Plus has the outside to keep as well.
Whether u work, don’t or both… someone has to be the driver, and some don’t get a cuppa in the morning if being a lazy dick.
Hope that helps.
My ex husband was exactly this way and he was raised by the same sort of woman. Needless to say, he in an ex- not just for this reason but many others. But this was one thing that was very stressful in our marriage.
I have a family of five and apparently mine stinks the same way that I can do everything and he just goes to work and comes home and plays with his cars and stuff in the garage with no help or offer to help me at all sad but there’s no point in arguing about it cuz it’ll never change
I got rid of half their stuff to begin with. I also ran a daycare with four kids two babies. Then I took all toys out of their room and the daycare had closed bedroom doors. You have to make a choice of where your gonna let the daycare kids play because technically that’s your job and your job to clean up after those kids. Which means your kids shouldn’t get stuck cleaning up their messes. So bedroom is off limits. Period. Pick one day a week to do clothes and one day a week to do bedding. As far as the kitchen good luck with that. Also when you stop doing daycare it’ll be even harder to get them to do anything because they are used to ignoring you and will continue. Hugs. I did this for five years. Won’t ever do it again.
As for the man doing nothing. It seems men between the ages of 40-48 unless single are all like this. Or are the ones doing everything there is no inbetween. Hugs. If you figure out how to get him to help on a consistent basis let me know.
I could have written this word for word a few years ago. Except the kids, we only have 1. But my MIL stayed home and my husband grew up thinking he was a prince or something. His only responsibilities were the lawn and the trash, and even those were a struggle to accomplish. Once we had a baby, I felt like I was drowning in everything that needed to be done. Complaining to him wasn’t working. We finally had a come to Jesus moment. Now I have a cleaning service and my husband does the dishes every single night. He also takes bedtime duties once or twice a week. Cleaning crew comes on Mondays, so Sunday night we BOTH go through the house and pick everything up so they can clean. The cleaning service really changed my life. If it ever becomes too hard on the budget, we would cancel cable and get cheaper phone plans. I will never give up my cleaning service as long as I live.
I have a list of things that need done daily. I pin it to the fridge. The kids have to put their phone up for dinner and after dinner I start the list. It’s their choice if they help or not BUT they do not get their phones back until everything on the list is completed.
If I do it myself, I WILL go as slow as I feel… (They have to turn their phones in at 8pm week days and 10pm weekends) this would cut into their phone time.
Since I started this EVERYONE helps!!! I mean everything gets done and to my liking within 20 minutes!! We are a family of 9 (6 kids- 16, 10, 5, 4, 16mos and 3mos plus 3 adults myself, husband and disabled mom). I was like you, killing myself with around the clock cleaning!! Life is so much more enjoyable now!
Good luck!
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My boyfriend and I do everything together. We clean at the same time while our son is playing or napping
We have a household chores list on our fridge. It alternates each day. Husband included. If he chooses not to help give him a ultimatum. I’m sorry but if you live in that house you help in that house.
Hire a cleaner a few hours a week, take the stress off a bit.
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Everyone does chores… I hate it when men get this i work i don’t have to clean attitude. The kids are old enough too. The 5 year old can help by gathering laundry or vacuum
When I was a kid my 2 siblings, both my parents and I would clean every Sunday together as a group. My parents would blast music (oldies lol) through the house and we’d all pitch in. I actually remember it being pretty fun and it would take stress off my mom 
I’m a stay at home mom and my 4 and 7 year old wash dishes 1 night a week, my 11 year old helps me tidy up daily.
Probably too late to straighten that crooked tree (husband)…but your kids are old enough to help. You should be assigning age appropriate chores to your kids. I know sometimes it will feel like more of a hassle to force them to do it…but they will be better adults for it… do a point system or take away some of the priveleges they aren’t currently earning. Its ok if its not done perfectly …just thats its not done by you!
I do everything and work 60 plus hours a week husband goes to work and that’s it so good luck balancing it
I’d send the kids camping with him & stay home to get a break / some time for myself!
As for the rest of the week… you have to have a sit down DISCUSSION about helping around the house!
There were six in my family growing up. We all had chores to do after our homework was done. I believe it instills a good work ethic. Our job is to teach our kids
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Sounds like you need some help running this daycare
I’d go right in that joint checking and hire a damn housekeeper
I run a house of 7 people, 3 dogs, 3 guinea pigs, 3 of 7 people are kiddos. I do it all. I do the finances, laundry all home cooked meals, cleaning and grocery shopping. I take care of damn near everything. Oh yea i work also. I would not have it any other way. I enjoy taking care of my family, very much. My kids do have chores and so does the husband but i absolutely love taking care of my family. I love having a workload it keeps me busy and i like that.
50/50 chores. I don’t work full time so I do the full load. But even then he always pitches in. If I was full time too…he better pitch really far in 
I have 4 kids at home between ages 10-5 they all have chores they all must pick up their toys or go to trash and they get TV time taken away if their rooms are dirty I’m a stay at home mom my bf works and he helps me clean of course sometimes I have to remind him to do something more than twice but other than that I think y’all should be a team and kids need to help too specially ur 13 year old they should already have some sort of responsibility maybe wash their own clothes and siblings make sure its always washed and out away 🤷🏻♀
Just my personal opinion BUT since you asked - i think you are making to big of a fuss about it . be honest with yourself . if its not broke ? Dont try to fix it . obviously hubby is comfortable in his surroundings as the children are too . i think youre trying to hard (i speak from personal experiences with ocd and germaphobia) . i feel like youre just not happy unless each and everything every lil thing is “complete” in your eyes . as you are the do-er of things . maybe i would suggest turning that i must do something energy into a detailed like hobby . maybe you need a change ? Youve obviously completed your goals as far as becoming a wife a mother and a care giver . maybe you lust for a new goal ? Chores will always be there unless youre replacing with new . that would be very expensive . i highly suggest as well as you wrote this post - maybe book writting or house building . diy’s or game night on the town ? With each family member choosing their new try it out favorite place to eat night ? Or maybe with your childrens ages - its time for you to get them each a hope chest and start filling it with stuff from the time they were conceived or birthed and keep adding to it until each one turns 18yrs old or marrys . just as a keepsake hobby for you to do for each one of them . time to reflect . good luck
Your children are 13 and 9, assign them chores.
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We r a family of 6…my hubby is active duty and i work 50+ hours a week in a operating room. I’ve learned that as long as the kids r happy, healthy and food is,on the table the rest isn’t that important at the moment. Make a list of what chores r a priority and make those kids help. I follow a cleaning sch so i don’t get over whelmed.
I stopped doing everyone’s laundry if they didn’t help. You don’t want to put your stuff in baskets or bring it to the laundry I’m not doing it. You don’t want to do dishes, I bought paper plates. The kids have chores & I had a very serious, emotional conversation with my husband & things have been better. It’s a shared responsibility. I also learned that everything doesn’t have to be done on my terms & everything isn’t always a priority.
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My husband was the same way. My kids(4) and I each week would draw a room out of a hat. Kitchen, livingroom, bathroom, and diningroom and playroom. They were expected to keep it presentable. They were not allowed to watch tv. Play games, or any other fun stuff til I said the room was acceptable. It worked out really well but if your husband doesnt support you thats a big problem. I guess you could tell your husband you will stop daycaring and bringing in income so you can take care of the house like his mom did.
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I told my older children that they were responsible for their own rooms and laundry. The only rule I enforced was that they needed to be able to close their doors. I told my husband that each person was responsible for cleaning up after themselves. If they didn’t clean it then I wasn’t going to either. When I got home from work if there was a pile of dirty dishes in the sink then I would take myself out to dinner, no cooking. There are a lot of rooms that you can go on strike with.
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I understand. I was married, we had a baby boy. When he was about one yr old I started working full time. I did all the cleaning and 99% of the cooking. With in 4 yrs I had 2 more. Nothing changed except I was the only one working steady. So I took the kids and left. I worked 2 or more jobs at the same time and did all the cooking, cleaning, yard work, change the oil, I basically, no, exactly, I have worked myself into an early grave. The human body is not designed for that. Sit down and get y’alls priorities straight. Marriage is suppose to be a give and take. Not one working themself into an early grave.
There are some areas you could refuse: bedrooms, bathrooms that aren’t accessible to the children (if you have any), cooking outside of daycare responsibilities, family only laundry, etc. Honestly, though, if you need to keep the house clean for your business, I’d pile all of the dirty laundry, dishes, and things that were supposed to be put away on your husband’s side of the mattress until he gets the point.
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Your kids (and husband) are definitely old enough to pitch it and pull their own weight. Y’all live in the house so y’all have to contribute to running it. I will say though, that an hour of everyone cleaning every day seems maybe a bit over the top but maybe that’s just what your standards of clean require. My husband and I do a divide and conquer of the house, 1 hour on the weekends for all the big clean stuff. Laundry, dishes, bedrooms, keeping the house tidy, etc doesn’t take an hour a day with a team of 4 (assuming your 5 year old can’t do much).
Honestly he and the kids should be helping out you all are old enough to do house chores. Rotate chores weekly and maybe offer allowance to kids. I have an 8 year old daughter sometimes it’s a struggle to have her clean but recently I made up a list of what to have her do and if she helps me do it all she earns 10-20$ or gets something at the store, my other half not her father also helps me and works 10-12 hr night shifts and still come home to help me out. So honestly try a chore list and a reward system, but your husband should definitely be apart of it, job or home it’s team work!!
So if he doesn’t want to help then he can hire a maid to do his share of the chores. You are not the maid and already have a job. My grandma made that suggestion to me with my first marriage. He was so cheap he decided to help clean rather than pay someone. 
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The kids would be helping definitely. The 13 and 9 year old are old enough to do ANYTHING that you are doing household wise. I agree with cutting off access to certain rooms for your business and let them go. I also agree with hiring a maid. I would not cook, only do MY laundry and see how it flies, of course I’d probably already took a weeks vacation from my business and left for a week without ANYBODY.
I would pick up some monopoly money and if the kids want a snack well have them clean the dinner table for 2 dollars then give the money back to you put away clean clothes 5 dollars towards the snacks it teaches kids responsibility for the 5 yr old pick up toys make bed fold there laundry for a few dollars of the fake money for a snack ECT
My kids did their own rooms and laundry by age 9…if they can use a cell phone they can figure it out…pretty easy to turn off their phones temporarily if shit isnt done.
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Leave THEIR things right where THEY leave them . Take care of YOUR stuff. Unless daycare is out of your home , then put it in THEIR rooms & on hubby’s side of the bed. DO NOT wash any of their clothes just let it pile up till they can’t stand the sight or smell . DO NOT pack for them for the campgrounds . Make them fend for themselves
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If he mows, takes out the trash, bothers to sweep and can do dishes. You Are Blessed. There are some that don’t even do that! This is not my current situation, as I’m married to a wonderful man, but I had to do it all for 15yrs (including a full time job) with my ex.
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Your kids are old enough to at least keep their rooms clean. They can also help set the table and clear it after dinner. Your husband can help to. Every little bit helps.
Stop doing it all. Leave it up to him to do certain chores. It’s a balanced chaos at my house. I work varied hours with having 1 day off during the week & hubby works night shift so it’s not always easy but we all pitch in & help. Kids needs chores & hubby needs to get that entitlement off his shoulders & do stuff. If it doesn’t get done then that’s on him. Don’t do it. Be firm. You do what you need done. Wash your clothes. If kids & hubby don’t have clean undies that’s on them. Tough love.
he needs to quit acting like a child and more like a partner. try to do as little as possible that affects him directly. so selfish. and not doing ure kids any favors by not showing them real life. real life is everyone lives there, everyone contributes!
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No MAN thinks that housework is just a woman’s job. My husband and I both work outside of home full time (plus sometimes). He cooks, I do the dishes. During the summer, I mow while he tends the gardens. If I am home and he’s at work and it’s snowing, I snowblow. Idk what to say. He needs to man up.
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Here is what you say. If you want me to be like you mom then that means no more work for me. I am tired physically, mentally and emotionally. I have asked you for help and I get none. So since you equate this to your mom doing it, I want the same environment. You work and pay the bill and I will be you wife and housekeeper. If that doesn’t work I need you to come up with a plan where I don’t do all the work because everything I have has been rejected. Here is a list of every item that needs to be done and approximately how often. Please let me know when i can stop working because I can’t do this anymore.
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People treat you the way you let them. It might get a little messy at your house but stop doing anything. Don’t cook, don’t clean, don’t anything, don’t do laundry, he’ll get it.
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My husband and I both work. Him way more hours then I do. He works 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. He still makes the time to help keep the house clean. We do most of our shopping and cleaning together and still find downtime Sunday evenings. It’s all about respect. If you can’t respect each other’s “Lives” then your marriage will never work. Suggest couples therapy . You can talk in front of a third party that won’t judge either one of you. Good luck!!
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Have a family meeting and tell them you have to hire someone to come in and clean the kitchen wash a load of laundry and start the evening meal so there will be no more weekends camping or vacations we won’t be able to afford it then give them the choice to help with cleaning their rooms loading the dishwasher and pick up there toys and gathering the laundry and help fold it and put it away it’s their choice And stick to your plan about a month you should have plenty of help Good Luck
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I did it all for years. He did nothing nothing in the house,yard, car maintenance, etc. No help planning trips-i chili could go on and on. I was also making the majority of the income for 10 out of our 16 years of marriage. My advice is make changes now. However that looks for you. We have a good marriage now, but we paid the price for that lifestyle for several years and it took a toll on my health. Best wishes 
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So u stop doing anything …see how he likes that. I cant believe how men think they dont have to help with kids and chores especially when the woman Works a full time job also.when my husband worked i did it all bc i didn’t work regularly but now that he’s retired we share the chores…in fact he does more than me usually.u have to be a team!!
I am blessed. Hubby does more then me in the house and does more carting of the kids. He is a gem and loves it all
I feel like you described my life …
Girl, the struggle is real 
Time for you to have a family meeting & delegate the chores.
Ya just have to.!
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Right now I’m on Facebook and my husband is cooking supper! Your a team things should be done together! I would say differently if you didn’t work n he did but you both work. And your kids are old enough to help. My oldest son has to load and unload the dishwasher do his own laundry and sweep n mop the kitchen. My 12 yr old takes the trash out scoops the cat litter and vacuums.
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You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.
Why aren’t your kids helping or why haven’t they BEEN helping. We are a family of 7 (ages of kids: 10,9,4,5,3) and EVERYONE helps. Yes, even the 3 year old. My oldest kids do everything from emptying laundry, to cleaning anything one of their main chores everyday is cleaning up dinner since I cooked (and by that I mean put all stuff away, rinse dishes, wipe off table and vacuum floor) the 4,5 year olds clean the bathroom every few days since they mess it up more than the others. They also know how to unload the dryer, take out trash, clean their room. My 3 year old even helps me empty the dishwasher, pick up toys. I explain to my kids that it takes a group effort and team work to make a family function
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Wait a minute mama first of all make your kids help you! My kids have been helping me out since they were 4 & 5. they are now 10 & 9 years old the both wash dishes, clean the counters, take out the trash, clean their room, they even cook sometimes! I started teaching my girls how to do laundry. If I don’t have time to do any of that my husband makes sure the house is clean before he goes to sleep or I come home from work. WE BOTH WORK FULL TIME! It wasn’t always like this my husband wouldn’t help me with anything till one day I had it! I didn’t cook nor clean for a week. He saw how bad it got, I broke down and cried to him I couldn’t do it all myself. He was raised in a family where the girls did everything! Not in my house!! We go half on everything!
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My mom did it all. 3 kids, an hour commute to work, worked 45 plus hours a week. Her down time was when she finally went to bed 5 hours a night. I don’t know how she did it, but she did. I couldn’t do all she has in her life without losing my mind. I say quit doing for your husband until he starts helping. No more picking up after him, cooking for him, his laundry, nothing.
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If it saves your sanity, hire a cleaner. I feel ya! Before baby #4, I was working full time and running the kids around, a d it sucks having to use your downtime to clean. When I go back to work, I will be hiring a cleaner
I did a lot of chores from 2nd grade on. By the 4th grade I could run the house if asked. Bathrooms wiped, kitchen swept after dinner, dishes, dog poop, dog food, vacuuming, dusting, emptying all garbage was done every day(between myself and my sister) shit we even made our moms bed. No allowance, mopped once a week. Did laundry. Everything. We turned out fine make those kids help. Also we just got sent out on Saturdays for weed pulling and picking up the crap my mom trimmed outside. Wasn’t always fun but I’m glad I learned to help people. Also was big on community service(going to food banks and helping)
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Hire a cleaner. I went from stay at home mom to full time working mom and I cannot stress this enough. Its wonderful to come home and the chores are done.
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Definitely start setting expectations on your children to complete chores suitable to their age/physical/cognitive abilities. If you don’t your children will put their future spouse through the same emotional and physical stress/exhaustion you feel right now. If they complain about how their dad doesn’t help with chores tell them your hopes are to raise them to be better than him and yourself and apart of that is teaching them how to care for the physical space around them because it can negetavily or positively impact the emotional space within themselves.
My kids are both under 4 and already have tidy up time drilled in 2x a day. Just before lunch and an hour before bed, they help with pairing socks and washing ‘plastic’ dishes. I practically ran the house when I was 9 due to my mum passing young and dad working late all the time. It didn’t harm me at all it made me independent if anything. My partner on the other hand does nothing, even if it’s his day with the kids, he was bought up with mummy doing everything for him…i honestly stopped doing his washing, dishes, and everything else and put them on his side of the bed he got the hint after a while, iv 2 kids not 3. It’s hard but unless he sees what you do for him (as well as your own children and others) nothing will change… Bare in mind I have to do this every couple of months cause he thinks 1 clean up is a one trip wonder
The kids are absolutely old enough to help and they should. How else are they going to learn to be adults? As for your husband explain you are not his mother. If he wants the luxury of not having to help then you can quit your job or and he can do extra work to make up the income. A family should work as a unit or team.
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Assign chores to you r kids they are old enough to keep thier rooms clean, do dishes, take trash out, sweep/ vacuum, and laundry. It’s all up to you and what your kids can handle.
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Maybe try switching days for a day. Let him do it all. Attitude might change. My husband (God rest his soul) helped me all the way. He would cook one night and I the next. We “shared” all the chores. Made life so much easier. We both worked full time jobs.
Assign chores to hubby and kids. Just because you are the woman does not mean you should have to do it all and work!! Hire a cleaner.
Let it go messy once. Don’t cook. Nothing. It will drive u crazy but maybe it will make something happen
Husband and children should help out they could pick up toys and clean up after their self
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Dudes…if she could afford to hire a cleaner do you think she would be anonymously asking a bunch of internet strangers how to handle this situation??..
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I hope you get it figured out!! I was in the same situation and unfortunately it contributed to my divorce.
When my girls were around 12 they had to wash their clothes and the younger ones clothes too. I would wash my clothes and my husbands, towels, bed sheets. Sometimes my husband would get the basket of clean clothes and throw it on the floor and we all folded clothes and put them away. On Saturday I cleaned house only. During the week if the house was messy I told everyone to come in the living room and pick up their own stuff (shoes, backpacks, etc). I didn’t worry about bedrooms but did tell the kids when they were little that they were going to trip with so much stuff on the floor. I stayed home when they were little and at night I would just moved things to the walls and straightened up and I vacuumed the living room almost every night.
I handle it because I have to. There is no one else. I literally do it all. I do all the housework, shopping, laundry, snow removal in winter, grass in the summer, take care of my 1 year old and my disabled dad, my 9 pets, and work so we can all eat, live and exist. I literally do everything. What’s the other option? That’s what being a mom is, sucking it up and doing what you have to for your children and family (at least that’s what it is to me)
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Haha let him stay home a week and do everything you do and when you get home do exactly what he does
He will get it
It’s just the way it is basically in most households. I say purge. The more stuff you get rid of the less stuff you have to clean up later. I have the kids help with putting their dishes in the dishwasher. If everybody puts their own dishes in the dishwasher when they’re dirty then there would be no dirty dishes in the sink. Once the dishwasher is clean the two older ones are old enough to take turns on a weekly basis to unload the dishwasher. When you do laundry all the kids are old enough to put their own clothes away.
Tell your kids to help you… when I was 8 years old my mom got me an apron and rubber gloves so I can help with dishes. Put your foot down mama and get those kids to start helping you. Make a list of chores you want them to do. Also I never got an allowance I just had to do it. Have them pick a chore they want to do. Also tell your husband you’re not his mother and to start helping or he can do his own laundry. He sounds like a grown man child.
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Keep the daycare kids and get rid of the tit suckers.
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It says in the post the father won’t make the kids do any cleaning the mom is trying to get the kids and him both to help
so for all the people on here saying make the kids help make the kids help make the kids help make the kids to chores make them help the father’s not allowing it
I feel your pain i look after 5 kids (not mine kids lol) and clean and do washing and ironing and cooking its really hard work
Maybe get someone just to help u a lil in the day with the daycare
I did my own laundry fully by 10 years old. My three year old puts his dishes in the sink… there are age appropriate things that kids need to learn to take care of themselves. And your husband is an adult and can do his own laundry. I understand you can’t slack on the things that show up in the public areas of your home but teach your kids to do their own things and stop doing things your husband is fully capable of doing for himself. Also he’s not “helping out” it’s his home too. And you’re his wife, not his maid.
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What you allow will continue🤷🏻♀️
The kids really need to be responsible for cleaning their own room, they are definitely old enough, even the five year old. Make a list of the rooms that he’s responsible for and what he has to do for them, he’s got to help or he can go. You are both working and it’s not the 1950s. If he’s home, he can help. I’m not sure if you have a space dedicated to your daycare, but I would focus on sanitizing and taking care of that area because I know that’s a huge thing already. The kids really have to pull their weight, even being responsible for their own bathroom if they have one. My three year old can clean her bedroom by herself, you just have to make sure you or your husband push it or help them learn where things go. It’s completely unacceptable to have to do everything yourself, he can learn
i just do everything but if i ask him to take out the trash, he will. i’m the stay at home parent so i feel i should do most things. he will help if i ask.
We have 4 kids. They are expected to keep their rooms clean and do a chore everyday before they get any video games! Even the 5 year old can do chores! One of my kids empties the dishwasher daily and the 14 year old fills the dishwasher and starts it every night. I had to fight tooth and nail to get it a habit but it finally is and they know they have to do those things. The youngest feeds the dogs and bunnies and gives them water. The second oldest vacuums the rugs weekly and stairs. I’ve also made it a chore to wash their own sheets and blankets because when I left my moms house I had no idea how to work a washing machine or dryer. Teaching my kids how too!! If your husband grew up with a mom that did everything he won’t change!! Doesn’t matter how much you talk about he’ll never understand. So don’t let your kids grow up like that, give them responsibility so they won’t think the mom has to do it all!!! Good luck!
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I’m in the same boat!! Living with a lazy man that does jack shit… no matter how many times I tell him to help! It’s like talking to the walls I’m literally finished after working an still have to do everything myself . … mamas boys r the worst they expect everything while they do nothing… it’s pathetic actually. . If he don’t help help u make him pay for a maid !
Hire a house cleaner 
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I battle daily for my 8 year old to pick up the living room
Go to counseling!!!
My five year old puts his dishes in the sinks, help with washing not sharp dishes, puts his laundry in the washer after I’ve started it and puts it away, cleans his rooms, etc. My 2 year old puts his dishes in the sink, picks up his messes, throws away trash, helps with his little laundry basket, etc.
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I’d ask the kids to help out and do chores. They are definitely old enough to do dishes (load and unload) help fold laundry take out the trash. Etc
If he won’t help, get a housekeeper, and pay her with his money!
His mom did it all that’s why he don’t help a man that was raised by a mom that did it all doesn’t know how to jump in and help , look how many men use the bathroom and how many men never have cleaned one, its sad women work fulltime too now men need to step up and help more!
Can you hire a cleaning lady maybe two days a week it sounds like you need help approach your husband explain to him either he helps you more or your going to hire some help you don’t deserve to be mentally and physically broken about your house hold duties
Gee, my wife must be spoiled. I do dishes, laundry and clean floors. We both do, because some times what OTHER chores have to be done are too overwhelming for one person. We both work full time and we have a working farm.