How Do I Get Myself to Stop Being So Insecure?

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"I have always had a self-image issue and I'm just tired of it. I want to feel happy with who I am. I have gained weight recently and it's not helping. I have a daughter and I try to say positive things about myself so she doesn't end up feeling like I do. I was kinda hoping it would eventually make me feel better too but no luck. Has anyone felt like this and has anything helped?"

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The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"Focus your attention on your skills and things that make you who you are. Your weight is not what you’re all about."

"Therapy. You need to really deep dive why you are struggling. A lot of times it’s things we internalized hearing and seeing as children that we have to reprogram ourselves."

"Im fat and I dont care what people think neither should you"

"Every time you pass a mirror look at yourself and say “I love you.” and also say “I love that __” something you love about yourself, such as you have beautiful eyes, you have become a better cook, you do your best at being a good mother, anything positive that you do like about yourself. Also for every negative thought you have about yourself tell yourself 3 things you do like about yourself, does not matter how big or small they are you have to counter the negative in your mind every time eventually you will believe the positive over the negative. Another thing you can do is if your daughter is old enough to answer questions and articulate well enough ask her how she would describe you to someone that does not know you, you will be surprised at what she says, then tell her how you describe her to people that do not know her."

"My middle school counselor told me she would get up every day and tell herself she was beautiful and amazing and could do anything she wanted even if she wasn’t feeling like it."

"A man once told me that as long as you dress cute you will be OK."

"Sometimes it’s mental. We have to learn to love ourselves. We are all beautiful in different ways. If you feel like you need to diet then do that. Just eat healthy. Which I don’t know if you do. Just be the best you "

"Exercise, eating healthy. Just actively becoming healthy can help your mindset towards yourself. I was on meds that made me gain 35 pounds so fast. I was also dealing with PPD. Once I started hiking, biking, & exercising, planning, and making healthy meals. I felt amazing."

"I'm a single mom and I've fought with this. I know you don't have much time. Try cutting out 1-2 things that are really sinful outta your diet. For me, it was sweet drinks, potatoes. Small changes make big diff sometimes I lost 30 this way. I cheat 1 day a week and eat those sinful things I love. Also maybe you need talk therapy?? Self-confidence is a very important thing. A lot of people need counseling for something in life it can help having a professional to talk to"

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