How do I go about finding out who my sons father is?

DNA test you can buy them yourself

I dont think either of them sounds that great. I honestly would just let him adopt him and be the father. What if you find out the real dad ends up just being a problem, especially if it’s the drug addicts. You wont that around your son. I would just let the other guy be the dad and not say anything but if you dont feel comfortable then be honest with him but I think you should still let him adopt him. You atleast have their names, if your son ever wants to go looking, that’s better than nothing.

Yes be honest with your son. But there is no rush. Yes let this good man adopt your son. Given time, one of the possible fathers may grow a pair and choose to find out if they have a son. Even so wait for the right time to tell your son about the adoption. Stop worrying and let happiness have a chance. Your son will decide what to do about finding out who his other father is.

When you marry and he wants to adopt do you have to get bio donors name for permission? I don’t know. Hope not. Yes your son should know. Doesn’t have to be now. When he is adopted and his name is changed just tell him Daddy adopted you cause he loves you and wants you to have his name. He can look up these two guys if chooses to. Allot kids don’t want to, but you have their names. Neither were daddy material then.

The best decision you can make is tell your son the truth never keep a secret like that from him.

The best thing you can do is be honest with your son. Dont lie to him about who his father is. Figure it out,whether he has a relationship with him or not. Its likely one way or another your kid will find out that you lied and it will get ugly. Its not a goor feeling when you find out youve been lied too your entire life.

My husband’s mother lied on his birth certificate. She got pregnant by one guy, then married another. She knew whose baby it really was (confessed it to him when he was 18) then listed the loser she married as his father.
It caused my husband years of emotional issues.
Please, please DON’T LIE.
Let him keep your birthname as his own since he can be sure that YOU are his real parent.
My husband did find his real father through genetic testing. They have an amazing relationship.
Life is not how it once was.
Secrets are being uncovered on the daily.

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Ok been here and done this… in missouri going though court to find out the father gives that father rights to said child… I could go on but that would be a long text… let it be let him adopt and tell him when hes older worked out for us… but then we split and he ended his rights and now shes been adopted again she feels like all her dads hate her shes on her 3rd dad and hes has been wonderful with her shes 14 and never meet her bio dad…

I would find out for your son. I agree with everything your saying. Ur right about finding out so u can let him know when hes ready. N I’d be honest the whole way thru like let him know that ur bf u have now loves him and accepts him and just explain his real daddy still has alot of growing up to do. Only u can find the right way to explain it. But kids are very understanding. And I wouldnt lie to your kid and say your current bf is his real dad because u dont know if u guys will be together for ever. So in order to get the dna test unfortunately u will have to file a court order for child support in order to get the dna test on both males since they won’t do it willingly. And with child support they go by his income. And dont feel bad. Also u can go and cancel the child support when ever u like. But it’s only fair. But then again u could do all that. Then if the dude doesnt really want nothing to do with ur son then he can sign his rights away and if your boyfriend is serious then allow him to adopt him but I’d be honest about the whole father thing. On who his biological dad is and who his father is that’s there for him. A father doesn’t have to be blood. It’s about who’s there for u n who loves u n takes care of u. But yes u have a good heart n ur thoughts are in the right place. N I completely agree with u. And be honest with ur son. I’m so honest with my kid. N I love the bond we have. Shes so understanding and very mature for her age. So I know ur son will be okay

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DNA does NOT make a dad! Trust me on that! Raise your son to be better than BOTH of them!

Those of you laughing SUCK!!!

Glad to hear that you want to be honest with your son. I think it’s terrible when parents lie to “protect” their kids and in the long run they end up doing more damage. Good luck!!!

I think you should just be honest with your son, if he is happy and has a father figure in his life that wants to be there, let him, the other 2 have no clue what they are missing. Sometimes things are better this way


Maybe find out and just keep the information safe so when one day if he asks or for medical reasons you have it. He may not even ask. Let him he the one to ask. But when old enough I would tell him the truth, it may be harder if you don’t. sounds like you have a good guy in his life that may he all he needs.

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Be (age appropriate) honest with him from the get-go.

He has a name. If neither one of those guys have come around now, let your son develop that bond with the man in your life now. Once he becomes an adult he can decide whether he wants to find his bio dad. This guy you’re with now sounds like a keeper, I wouldn’t mess with a good thing. Good men are HARD to find!

Let your man step up if that’s what he wants. Your son needs a stable father in his life now. Keep the information you have and when your son is old enough and by this I mean at least teens, and starts asking questions. Give him the information you have and help him if HE wants to persue it.

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Be honest with ur kid at an appropriate age… But dnt hide this from them. Theu have a right to know. Especially for medical reasons.

If ones a druggie and the other ran off, i would say screw them both and keep your child away from drugs and let your new boyfriend (if y’all get married) adopt him. There’s no way I’d go running after a man who i knew was on drugs, to be in my child’s life. Nope. You don’t have to lie. Be honest and tell the child you and the father made bad choices, but he has someone right in front of him who wants to be in his life, while the other two nominees don’t.

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Dont lie, be honest, even if it hurts. You did what could, just coast from here until their about 14 to 16 years old, maybe even 18. Leave it up to them. Just remind them you did everything you could

Maybe wait till your son is old enough. Explain to him the situation . Clearly the guys don’t want to know. Maybe years down the road that will change . I would say keep options open and be honest with your son down the line .

You can get a DNA test done so if something health related happens you would know. Like If it was hereditary

DNA test but be careful when u find out the dad he may try to take him going thur this now dhs found him 2 years later he desides he wants the baby because the dad dont want to pay child support attorneys are expensive

Do that ansestoy DNA test… then you can track them down…

First you have to ask your self a few questions.
Do you want your son to have visitation with one of these guys.
Do you want to be permanently connected one of these guys.
Do you want one of these guys to be a role model to your son.
Are you sure you want to open up that can of worms.
It is a legal thing, which ever one is the father has rights. You will be giving him rights. You will be giving up your rights to keep him all to yourself.

Well you think back to the time you got pregnant and ask the man his name?

Your story basically sounds like mine. I had gotten out of a bad relationship and just went out of control didn’t care and slept with 3 guys around the time i got preg. Well ive pretty much figured out who the father is because he had a son 9 months after i had mine and i can see so many similarities between the 2 boys. Plus my son has his smile eyes and ears. The rest of that boy is me. He never asked who his dad was just that he wanted a dad he wanted me to get married so he can have a dad. Went through that about 2 yrs. From 5-7 i think kids were says stuff to him. My best friend of 15 yrs we finally got together. We’ve liked each other all these years. Well my son was 8 and i asked him if he was ok with me dating bf. He said yes. They hit it off great 2 weeks in he asked if he can call him dad. ( me and bf already talked about that and he was ok with that) my son most of the time called him dad. Our relationship dating was short. It was September when we got together october to the date he asked me to marry him (i asked my son if he was ok with me marrying him. He said yes) (i was not going to make a life changing decision without my son since it effected his life also) we got married December. Weve been married a year now. I swear if i didn’t know better id think that my husband was my sons bio dad cuz they act so much alike. But few months ago my son 9yrs old did ask about bio dad and i have no idea where he is now and how to go about finding him. Just showing him a pic and telling him about him didn’t satisfy his curiosity he wants to meet him. So i told him id try. Im still at a loss on how to go about it. My husband says he might now where he is he knew him didn’t like him. But im worried about my son meeting him. That’s a can of worms i dont want to open. My husband feels hurt cuz thats his son. Even though they butt heads they love each other. As soon as we got married he went to straight up calling him dad. I got him a dad but it seems now he’s gotten curious about bio dad. So my advice is get the dna done so u know for sure and wait till ur son wants to know about him. Let ur son bring it up. If he wants to meet him down the road at some point u already know who it is and it will make things easier. If the guy is an asshole and doesn’t want to meet him than atv least u tried amd u can tell him who the guy is.

Do a DNA through They will send you a kit where you squab saliva from your mouth and send it in $75 VERSES $500 for a DNA through medical.

Do a DNA test on both men. You and your child deserve to know the truth.