How do I help my four year old with mental health challenges?

Mental Health
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My 4 year old daughter has been displaying some anxiety/depression symptoms. I myself have severe anxiety and depression but try my best to keep it under control. She has just started pre-k and is very smart for her age but since she has been going she has become more responsive/reactivate to the smallest things. I try my best to validate her feelings because I completely understand that anxiety attacks happen without warning but I don't want her to be placed on medication like I am unless absolutely necessary. I also understand that some anxiety is very normal. Bless her heart she is the most compassionate and tender hearted young lady and always tries to make people happy but she is struggling and I don't know how to help. I have done breathing exercises with her, asked her questions about her fears (one of them has recently been her fingernails are falling off... they aren't, but in her mind they are). If any other mommas and daddys have had this situation with your baby, what works for you, how do you help them cope, and what else besides possible medication can I do? The past year has been a struggle: her sister was born and it was a very hard pregnancy (in and out of the hospital many times and emergency csection, covid and I was severely injured at work and cannot do as much as I used too with her) and now her daddy has had an injury and she is just so upset about it all. Any advice would be great. Side note: I have/ am speaking with her teacher and school nurse and will be updating her doctor after this week if the anxiety attacks continue.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I help my four year old with mental health challenges? - Mamas Uncut

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Get a book called the whole brained child. Worked wonders with my daughter staying at age 4 she’s 7 now and I still skim through it. Get the workbook to, I wish I did

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My son went through this in Pre-K and Kindergarten. For a 4/5 year old he has already been through a lot. At the age of 4 we discussed it with out doctor who referred us to a psychologist for a consult. It took almost 9 months to get the appointment and he was diagnosed with High Generalized Anxiety Disorder and ADHD. I didn’t want to put him on medication either. We worked with the school and we tried every coping mechanism there is with no luck. Even the school said they prefer not to go the medicine route but he probably needed something to help him calm down enough he could work through things.
He woukd get to a place where a flip switched and it takes him a while to get it flipped back. While the switch was flipped he became violent and destructive and after it switched back he was very remorseful and knew what he did was wrong. It was like something in his brain just couldn’t connect.
We finally caved and started putting him on medication November of 2020. It took a bit but we found the right meds. It also took an entire summer of working with specialists so he could learn how to deal with certain situations and for us as parents to learn how to best help him. He has now started first grade and is doing wonderful.
The school, doctor, and therapist all feel the medication is a temporary necessity. That we will need to continue helping him so he can cope when he no longer needs them. As much as I was against I am glad we did it. Although it did take us over a year to get to that decision

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I help my four year old with mental health challenges? - Mamas Uncut

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PINK WORRY MONSTER PLUSH TOY RECOMMENDED BY CHILD PSYCHOLOGISTS WRITE DOWN YOUR WORRIES https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01GJZV0LC/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_MNGXTGGPEJ5X8J5D4K7B?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

We use a worry monster. She writes down (or we write with her) any worries she has before bed, put them in his mouth and by morning they have been gobbled up. Aside from the relief she feels, it’s also a really good way for her to articulate her feelings in words and for me to understand what the underlying causes of her anxiety are. Hope she feels better soon x

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I actually think there maybe something in it hun. Maybe mention it to your gps? I was nearly 7 when my grandad passed away. I was convinced my family were all gonna die and leave me at 7 years old. I never said anything to my parents but as I got older, I needed counselling in high school for bereavement depression. Some kids are very switched on. I had an older head on me. Worth looking into with your doctors to see what they suggest xx

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I don’t think medication should be considered for a 4 year old whatsoever under these circumstances, she isn’t physically ill, yes a lot of adults take medication for mental health illnesses but I think your daughter is experiencing a big change, having a new baby sibling and she’s no longer your only child, it’s natural for children to act this way, we just have to guide them and help them deal with and let them be with their emotions. I don’t think it’s anything to worry about too much.

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She isn’t showing signs of mental health please don’t consider medication. It’s all very normal for her age and life changes. You just need to support and guide and give advice and listen. Most kids that age show emotions the same. Quiet a fare few have separation anxiety and some don’t. It’s still all very normal though

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Give her a better home life.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I help my four year old with mental health challenges? - Mamas Uncut

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Have her tested for adhd. They throw the same symptoms as depression/anxiety

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Talk therapy with a children’s therapist.

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It sounds like she has a lot of things to adjust to. In her mind that is a lot.
School
New sibling
You and Dad being injured.
That is a lot. Maybe a smaller classroom setting might help. Or just some time to herself to decompress from school to just relax.
. Some one on one time with you guys. Some time together as a family where she can make a couple of decisions on a family activity idea.

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She probably needs to adjust. She could be picking up behaviors from classmates.
Give her some time to adjust.
PreK means shes new to school
Its a lot to adjust to.

Set with her and go through a 4yo version of decompressing anxiety.

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I feel 4 years old is a bit young to be “diagnosed” as having depression, more specifically.
The world’s a scary place for kids, anxieties are normal, for some more than others, unfortunately :orange_heart: …Talks of medication is mind blowing to me. Ofc, validate her feelings and be there to help her through problems and insecurities, big life changes, etc but don’t be so quick to label her with the above at such a young age, that sounds like more of a projection of your own anxieties, if anything xx…

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Please…take her to a therapist if you have not already. These are very concerning signs. You don’t have to think of medication straight off the bat. Talk therapy. Get her to a therapist…yesterday.

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Parents can help kids who they think Matt have mental health issues by calling their local county authority on mental health. Or a local access hotline that would refer them to the nearest authority on mental health. There they can ask some basic questions about the situation like city, insurance if any, and potential needs regarding mental health. They might know of where an opening is for the right program or service that can help the best.

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Netflix has a headspace meditation series which is great.

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Is worried about her fongernails falling off???

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4 years old is a little young to be seeing signs of anything except autism

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I help my four year old with mental health challenges? - Mamas Uncut

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Maybe, when you speak with her Dr. Ask about counseling. My kids have adhd and anxiety. They have behavioral therapist and Mobil therapist. If she not having any behavioral issues, then that may not help, but some sort of counseling, where she can speak with an outsider, may help her… and if they mention medicine, and you don’t want it, just remember YOU ARE MOM! And they can’t force you, unless it’s severe where she’s threatening/ causing harm on herself or others. Good luck mama. I hope you find the answers you’re looking for.

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Just comfort her, sounds like she’s been through a lot of changes and kids that age don’t know how to fully process their emotions, my son is like this and I’ve found that is what works best just being present and patient with them

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My daughter started seeing a therapist at 4 almost 5. We’ve been going to her weekly for over a year now and has helped so much.

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We started therapy for our kids at 4 and 5. Wanted them to have someone other then mommy and daddy to help with their issues. Sometimes it’s easier to learn coping skills from non-parentals. Plus, if they need therapy later in life they will feel comfortable getting it.

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Get her onto a team sport she likes. Physical activity will help a lot to slough off her excess energy instead of turning it to anxiety. She’ll learn self confidence and make friends. Gymnastics was a Godsend for my daughter!

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Have her see a therapist,very important if it is already getting bad.good luck momma

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That’s a little young, maybe she is mimicking behavior of someone else she sees.