Sounds to me like a communication issue is going on. Have you talked to him and see how he likes his job?
If he doesn’t like the job then maybe it’s time to find a new one. Be supportive during this.
Taking $100.00 a week out of his paycheck sounds like it’s not hurting your guy’s finances. So maybe he takes another job for the same amount of money of but less o.t.
Stress does do a lot to the mind body and soul.
Maybe you should seek a counsler with out him at first and see what the counsler suggest. Maybe they will suggest to come in as a couple. But only going here or there won’t help.
Maybe he doesnt want to come with all your complaining - no job or amount of money is worth it - if u cant work as a true partner time to bail - stop criticizing and look for a solution together or break up
Honestly it sounds like he’s burned out and so are you. You both need to work on things and maybe the way you voice your concerns comes across as nagging even without the intent to nag (I’m only speaking from experience here having kids is stressful enough for two stay at home parents let alone one and the other working, and then both working is a whole other ball game. also not trying to come across as mean so I really hope I don’t portray that in this comment) it sounds like you both need a conversation just to get each others feeling across in a healthy manner, no getting offended just actually listen. You’re seeing your perspective and he’s seeing his but neither are actually taking in and thinking about it from the other person’s point of view. He’s allowed an allowance so long as bills are paid also money can be separate in spousal situations I wouldn’t have been upset about the fact that he has a separate account now but that should have been something you both discussed early on. If he feels controlled in every other aspect of his life via work and even at home unintentionally of course he’s going to want something for himself and in his head of course it will be money because that’s the only thing he can have some say over right now. You both need to take the time to actually get a break from everything and just have time for each other see if that spark is still there. I know it’s easier said than done but it’s a necessity and the reason you’re not seeing change is because just saying things need to change doesn’t necessarily make things change. It takes active action and effort on both parts or it just isn’t going to work out.
You sound like a micromanaging control freak. He is gone literally allday. Comes home so you can bitch about him spending money at the gas station and everything he is doing wrong. He opened a bank account so you can’t control that. I’m surprised he only takes a 45 minute shower and not longer. Why would anyone want to come home to be belittled constantly. Look in the mirror and ask what you can do to help the situation. Ask how his day was. Get some counseling. You sound exhausting.
He’s clearly having an affair. Do better for yourself and your child.
Sounds like my EX husband…he was exactly the same and he was seeing someone…the shower part is what got me and not willing to go to counselling to improve both of their marriage.
Leave him for a month, to take care of paying for bills, to cook and clean after himself. He doesn’t appreciate you or anything you do just for your own sake walk the fuck away!
Maybe you guys just want different things. He wont communicate. You can’t let it go.
I would try one thing before I would leave. Pick one day that he is off, take that day off and say let’s do whatever you want the whole day. You pick. Make sure everything is perfect house, food, and whatever else. Maybe he says sleep and just be like ok. Go with whatever it is as long as he includes you. Sleeping but cuddling with you. Playing a video game? It has to be two player and playing with you. Just whatever it is it has to be what he wants and with you. Make sure someone watches your daughter. If the day doesn’t brighten anything then it isn’t a you problem. Guys will say you are nagging about anything they don’t want to hear. So don’t say it that whole day and don’t bring up anything bad. Just do what he wants like a side kick. And see what it does. Does he respond better? Is he just overwhelmed with his life and how unhappy he is and how unhappy you are and how his failures are constantly brought up? Or is he just over the relationship and doesn’t know how to end it? Men react differently to mental health problems than women and if he brings in more money than you he may feel trapped. Then again he does have two days off while you work too so idk why he wouldn’t take that time to spend with you when you get off.
It’s hard to say without both sides. His job may be a problem but I hate my job and it just makes me want my partners company more.
I’ve been on both sides of the whole who cleans up and who cares for the child while working. Both are hard, but when you split it evenly it helps a lot.
Doing grownup is hard. Buy and stock up all his junk food from a big box store to save money, be caring and undemanding . Pay yourself first. Start your own secret vanguard investment VTSAX account. Fund it religiously.
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So he’s pulling 15 and a half hour days ? Guy sounds knackered from the job and travel. Possibly depressed I know I take long as fuck showers when I’m down.
He’s seeing someone behind your back that’s why he’s having 45 min showers to wash it off
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That’s a long ass day he works and 5-6 times a week? That’s insane and sad I would be short tempered and just mad all the time to. He sounds resentful about moving for your career and he got stuck working 12 hour shifts 5-6 days a week for a job he probably didn’t even want, I know I wouldn’t be happy either and in a situation like that you don’t have time to have another child and he probably feels like he missed out on so much of his daughters life being a provider and all that he wouldn’t want to miss out on another kid. I get you want more from your marriage but he is stressed, depressed and just unhappy it what it’s sounding like. I would say he needs a new job but I know that’s easier said then done I think that is where it would have to start tho because he needs some weight off his own shoulders before you guys can rebuild some things and think about expanding your family.
Sounds to me like he works 15 hours a day to support the family, is exhausted but still plodding on and you are nagging him and not being empathetic towards him at all.
It’s bot normal to work 6 days a week from 4:30 am to 8 pm - it’s bot okay in ANY world EVER! He is tired and unhappy because he works too much. It doesn’t mean you don’t work and don’t contribute. You have a huge problem - money problems. My advice - if you want to save your marriage move to Europe or UK (I feel like you live in US?) - there men only need to work (in Uk especially) only like 7:30 to 3 or to 5 and have all weekends off - and they earn a lot (in my understanding ~ 200 a day for unqualified work is a lot) - so he will have all weekends and long evenings off and spend this time with family.
Very simple choose that job or your family
He may generally feel controlled I wouldn’t like it if I was working insanely long hours and someone dictated if I could buy myself some lunch or not
Your husband is working 15.5 hour days? And you still pay the majority of bills?
Something has to give here. Why is he still at that job? What does he gain from it?
There’s also a lot of resentment working up on both sides. He needs individual therapy before you try couples therapy again.
The man works 16hr days that isn’t gonna give a whole lot of time in a day to spend time together and if the few mins y’all do get is complaining then I could see why he tries to avoid conversation. I don’t see why the amount of time he spends in the shower matters…be glad he cares about his personal hygiene and self care. The fact that he stays longer than he is scheduled could mean many things: he could be stressed about bills, childcare, Christmas, upcoming birthdays; maybe he feels that if he works longer days and brings in more money you won’t have to work so much; or maybe he has checked out and does it to avoid coming home. You’ll never know if you don’t sit down like a grown adult and communicate with your husband. I see nothing wrong with having a separate account. Hell I have a separate account that I save money in for Christmas and birthdays and don’t want my husband to know how much I’ve spent on something for him or get a notification about the charge.
If all these things concern you than why are you worried about having another child?
Welp hire a detective or wait til it blows over… if it does… when he’s 50! U may break by then or worse bcome a different person… people thinking ur bitter bcuz he pushed that narrative n mayb u truely will b. BUT… guys don’t respond to convos like gals do… guys need down time more than us, well not more but we can function whilst juggling many things… guys r more single minded… might have something to do with being the hunter for so long in the way past …what ever. he may seem like he doesn’t deserve it, but knowing what is n isn’t… don’t say sh&t… welcome him home w/ a smile… IT’LL DRIVE HIM CRAZY! and find out what he’s really doing… mayb just detoxing from the work day at a bar… not great to lie about n actually starts the normalcy of lying… but also mayb not the worst either! finding out key if u can also understand the dynamics n keep ur cool… there in lies the crux. if he’s effin around then… u got some hard choices.
I kinda see his point. You mentioned about how you want him to give you attention, that you pretty much control the money so that bills can be paid, you complain about him smoking and his energy drink purchases, it doesn’t sound like he has much control over his own life and he’s lost himself and his place. His role is an atm machine.
He’s either dealing with work, or with you being upset. That being said, he’d rather deal with work than come home sends a pretty big red flag that he isn’t happy at home, and so he won’t make a change to his work life balance no matter how many times you ask because he doesn’t want to be home.
You’ve made it clear you want a partner, and he’s made it clear he can’t give you the 50/50 you need. You either need to compromise and accept things for how they are, or make a complete change and walk away and build the life you want with someone who wants the same as you xxx
Just be there for him dude, plan something for him, you answered your question by explaining he’s had a mentally taxing job for 3+ years, you can’t expect someone to come home and want to deal with more stuff, he went out of his way for you to switch states, go out of your way for him and show him he’s still cared for, men don’t show emotions and feelings the way women do, you can’t always expect him to be willing to talk about stuff that’s bothering him, I’m sure he’s doing the best he can right now.
Firstly reaching out to strangers on the internet, with only your narrative and not his consent to “air your laundry” is kinda messed up. If he’s working 12-14 hour days he’s obviously making good money to support you and your children.
I agree that you should have time with each other to work on these things, maybe sit down sometime and in a clear level tone ask him if you guys can work out a schedule for being with each other.
Get a babysitter, give each other space as well when needed.
But don’t go on the internet and only give your side of the story. Again I’m assuming, without his knowledge or consent. It paints him to be a piece of shit.
Been there. And every situation has 2 sides but if he is that unhappy at work maybe he should look for something else. Especially now. Also, if he is defensive about stuff all the time and has to leave he either has a substance problem or someone else. My SO went thru this many times over our 20 years. He would say he was working late and was actually sitting on a bar stool for a couple hours. I caught him several times. Finally, said hit the road.
You’re not wrong for wanting him to be better with money, or having a good paying job with benefits for the family that is reasonable. Coming from nothing when you do start making money you want to have savings and that makes sense. But try putting yourself in his shoes. If he is working this stressful job he hates, and it’s long hours and he has to come home to a wife that’s not happy, he keeps telling you he doesn’t like being controlled and that’s how he is feeling, then listen to him. I’m not saying he’s right, but I’m saying he keeps telling you the issue and you’re not listening. No one wants to bust their ass for some one they love and work hard for a life and their family, then come home and be in trouble for doing what is asked of them. Let him get a different job, maybe it’ll be less money but he’d have more time.
My husband and I have our own bank accounts, we talk about finances daily to keep on the same page, I pay most of our bills and am primary care giver to our kids. I do not tell him how to spend his money and he definitely does not tell me how to spend mine. The first year we bought a house we were so broke, my husband got a great paying job but he was miserable, it effected every aspect of our lives. I encouraged him to get a different job that paid less but he was so happy there, in just a few years he was making more money then ever, but his happiness also translated into every aspect of our lives.
It really does sound like a lack of communication. You guys both state your needs but neither of you are listening to each other. Relationships are not 50/50. They are 100/100, so you meet your partner wherever they are every time they need it. Stop arguing about things and fighting just to be the one who is right. There is no winning unless it’s together. Any time some one is told that the person they love isn’t happy because of x,y, and z they get defensive. So find a way to tell him what makes you unhappy that isn’t blaming him. Not “you never have time for me because you get home late so there is no romance” instead you say “I feel really disconnected and I miss you, I love when we spend time together.” Remember, we are responsible for our own happiness. Our partners should add to the happiness, not have them be the source of it, that’s just not fair.
Am I the only one that thinks that it’s pretty suspect that he leaves for two hours and then takes a shower immediately upon returning? I know what that sounds like to me.
Here’s something you can do RIGHT NOW. I would pray to God about this and ask him what you need to do and ask him what you want
What you allow, will continue. Tell him to kick rocks until (at absolute minimum) he gets counseling and improves his overall behavior. IF you even want his abusive ass back…
Well your post was about you and your feelings. Now, how does HE feel? Perhaps he’s unhappy about the move. Maybe he only agreed to move because it’s what you wanted and he felt obligated to agree to it. Maybe he’s tired of coming home and being nagged the minute he walks in the door. I’m also almost positive he’s sick and tired of hearing what he does wrong everyday after work. No one is going to want to do anything when they’re nagged and basically put down all the damn time. Complaining about him showering after he’s gone for 16 hrs a day, complaining because he doesn’t do this or doesn’t do that. Let the man get inside the door and destress a few minutes before you start jumping all over him. 3 days a week my husband leaves at 430am and gets home between 8-9pm. He comes home, sees the kids before they have to get to bed, showers, plays his Playstation and gets a little “him” time. On his early days off he comes homes spends time with the kids and I, helps around the house if I need it and cooks dinner if I ask him to but he still has his downtime with the Playstation. He also gives me my time since he knows being a sahm is hard work too. It’s all about balance. It won’t always be 50/50. Someday’s might be 60/40, 30/70, etc. Yes, he should help around the house, so give him something specific that he takes care of…trash, laundry, cleaning bathroom, etc.
I would leave him! Sounds like my baby daddy and he thought it was super cool to fuck prostitutes after work.-.!
It’s funny how one day 2 people will stand in front of the preacher and repeat those words till death do us part and then the next thing you know it’s divorce brought up by everybody ya know those words you swore to were an oath to God they are supposed to mean something other than just hot air passing over your lips . Life is screwed up relationships are screwed up and after the new wares off are work . People get consumed by daily life and sometimes loose there way it’s a cowards way to just bounce out when there is trouble no matter if it’s a little bit or a lot stay the course man be there for each other. If one tactic doesn’t work try another or another or another put the hard ass work in . He who soweth little reapith little . Sorry bout spelling from a challenging life and relationships comes the strongest people and tightest bonds this world makes it to easy to just throw your hands up and walk away cause it’s hard and that’s bullshit . If that is the mentality you were going to have so easy to give up then there was no business putting a ring on cause both people deserved a fighter in there elife in there circle even when they didn’t know it not a quitter there are instantly devorceable deeds I think but just a handful ide do everything humanly possible for a very long time before taking any of this bulkshit devorce advise and as far as cheating .maybe but maybe not imagine what kind of jackass you would feel like if he wasn’t and really was just killing it to provide witch caused frustration and a variety of other possably misunderstood emotions he may not have the tools to recognize and / or cope with long story short …patience Danielson life is not a cake walk for anyone and you are the only one living yours
Sorry to say this but he’s already left the relationship, he’s just going through the motions until an opportunity comes along.
Suspicious he has a long day and 45 min shower. Good time to get rid of any evidence. Probably cheating.
You’re already divorced, now just get the child support.
You do sound controlling. Get off his back or just get a divorce. Yikes…
Practically my life. Finallly 37 years of marriage and getting divorce before more that 10 years waiting for him to accept. At same house without intimate, just roommates. Begin to noticed changes when first boy begins school and responsabilities grow. Seems to be normal. He begins to drinks alcohol regulary and get later to home because of work. After long time noticed he stays relaxing after work. Once he gets home, has to wait long time for him to shower, drink a pair of beers,watch tv and decide to eat. Do another menu if he wants it. What worse is that i think that he deserves it and was normal. I always be complacient with him. Told me stay at home when gave birth the second baby boy. Next i work from home for him because he let his permanent work to begin a business( almost lost everything) Then, gets another employment but never as good. I always made some money from house.
Never supports my jobs, dreams, my health conditions, family… Better for him works xtra hours and relax after work. Rarely went to school reunions, sports, doctors, emergency rooms, banks, be aware of his or my parents needs. Stay better watching tv and drinking beers instead go anywere, except to baseball with the boys because was his favorite sport. Always ready for sex . When i said no, he said i had to be grateful that he feels desire about me thru years and if someday he cheats me was my fault. I never be worried about that. Never gave me that kind of worries. Gave birth 2 more, girls. Who said as today don’t feel a connection with him because of his absent thru years. He was totally codependent from me to make all decisions, simple or serious decisions and me codependant of his situation He became an alcholic. For more i ask to get help never accepted his problem what never interfered with his job. He always was a respetous, no violent, worker, structured man. As time passed notice he always has a narcisist and egocentrist behaviour. The story is long. I Finish feeling exhausted, used, alone, unaccomplished in my goals and as a woman.
So, girl don’t waste your time, no more babies. Don’t make your child live in that way like i do. No matter they don’t notice now eventuallly does. As an adults my children understands, it would be much better divorce before. Go for you and your baby life❣
Womans,don’t take for granted that battle and wait for live for changes, will happen.
The writing is on the wall…read between the lines. He is a narcissist. It will always be about him…you will never be cherished the way you want to be.
You pointed out his concerns but not what you have done to be adaptive. Meet in the middle.
Maybe if you just stop fighting…
He is cheating mine did the exact same things cheating
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He sounds exhausted. Needs to change jobs. Can you afford for him to be house husband?
OMG! Don’t be surprised if he leaves you soon . All that nagging would put anyone off. It’s not all about you.
everyday 45 min of shower aka “ gotta rinse off the side piece”
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Hes putting that money in a separate account to leave you or fund his illicit activities
Go to therapy. It’ll be better than a Facebook post
Sounds to me like you want it all your way. Have you asked him what he wants?
time to take a serious break- he’s not present, nor does he aspire to be. ~
You know what to do. Do it.
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Sounds like you are all about ME! Poor guy.
He sounds like a narcissist- check it out- if he is- run for the hills!
You know what to do. You’re just looking for validation.
If you know what time he supposed to start work and end work and those time frames don’t add up or no overtime pay , hunni he is seeing someone else or stopping somewhere after work (gambling, drinking)
And any man that takes a 45 min shower is washing(hiding something) like he is double checking something.
Just start ignoring him , don’t ask for anything , just go on about your day , don’t respond to his calls or texts , stop begging and start living on your own , hell eventually notice , and by then let’s hope you saved up enough to kick him out and stand on your own two feet.
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He is definitely cheating!
That’s allot of hours a week ! Personally I’d cut him some slack, keeping on obviously isn’t getting u anywhere. Put up or shut up is what I was told many moons ago. Try making his time at home go more smoothly and maybe things will change. Most of the other things are ‘u’ problems. Why can’t he have I cigar, no I wouldn’t like it but he’s a grown man. I’d kinda step back from the * me me me* and think about it when his prospective. If he dreads coming home then it’s definitely a you problem.
sounds like he is seeing someone
Is he seeing someone else?
Perfectly said Serina Stratton
I hate these things
Its always one sided
We have no clue how he sees it so we have no right to judge him
Plus it is his own money , she has no right to tell him how to spend it especially when she is making her own
If it was flipped
Y’all would be telling him off instead of giving him advice so its bullshit tht y’all are like “you deserve better/ he’s cheating/ hes doing this”
Lol y’all , really ? 
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What’s the problem with him keeping $100 per pay check. Didn’t he earn enough to have pocket money?
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You can do counseling by yourself. Maybe a marriage retreat. Not sure how those work in the civilian world. My first thought would not be cheating since he has voiced he doesn’t want to come home. Home is his place to relax, his safe space, his do nothing and worry not. He needs help for himself, but the best bet right now would be you learning how to help him feel comfortable again.
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Honestly, sounds like he’s exhausted. Might be time for him to find new work. That’s a pretty demanding schedule.
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He is not showing respect for you or your daughter. I was married to a man much like this. He would leave me for other women and my mom and grandmother helped me financially. He spent all of his money on himself. After 22 years he divorced me – only decision he made that he stuck by. I should have divorced him when he left me with three small kids after 8 years of marriage and 11 of being together. He always promised he would change – but he didn’t. Do NOT waste your time – I am sorry that I did. I was hurt for awhile but got over it and am happily single enjoying my grown children and my grandchildren. I don’t even date because of the PTSD.
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Sometimes relationships can’t be saved and both people grow apart. Both people have to want a healthy relationship and both have to put effort into it. If one person stops, then the relationship is pretty much over. Do you want your daughter growing up thinking it’s okay to have a disrespectful, dishonest and dismissive partner?
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Maybe a time apart will tell the two of you what you really want in your lifes…
Sometimes being away from someone for a period of time makes you open your eyes and can see and think more clearly…
It sounds like hubby needs some alone time…give it to him,show him what it’s like without you…that might wake him up or it might keep him away,either way you will find out what he wants…
Good luck…
Bottom line- you’re both miserable so change whatever it is that is making you both unhappy. Life is short. You both have fallen into the money trap and lost yourselves in it. You have both lost sight of what really matters- each other and your family. Once love is lost it’s not likely to return.
I personally think his work cycle has him depleted. I’ve been there personally, and it literally sucks the life out of your soul. $100 in his own account isn’t much at all.
I see a man giving his all for his family, who at the end of the working week is exhausted. I’m assuming if he leaves at 4:30am, he’s up at 3am-ish!
I believe if you take your husband out of this job, and find another, he will be much happier.
He’s finding it challenging pouring from an empty cup, and I’m certain the issues resolve around his work routine, and not some affair that some has mentioned.
Opening a separate bank account, coming home from work late and taking extremely long showers as soon as he gets home are HUGE red flags. I’d be moving on for sure.
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I would have packed up and left him a long time ago, he has no respect for you and obviously has no care in the world for u or daughter sounds like a real waste of time
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You’ve gone past healthy. This has all the earmarks of an affair. Gone 2 hours every night then a super long shower afterward…the attitude and gaslighting…always coming home later than he should…
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Sounds like the move made your career great and his shit. I’m sure there’s a lot of resentment on his part. So many sentences start and end with “he does this and he doesn’t do that, poor me I’m stuck doing everything.” You can be his wife or you can be his mother, but not both if you expect to have a successful relationship. Everyone always says marriage has to be 50/50, but no one ever explains what that means. It does not mean you split life’s chores 50/50, it does me you both have equal say in your marriage. “I made us go to counseling because I felt…” that’s not 50/50, that you dictating your marriage and expecting him to comply. 50/50 means he doesn’t take your kid to the pediatrician for well visits because your kid crying from vaccines upset him, but he does take care of the kid when the kid is sick. Shift your focus from yourself, to your marriage. I guarantee if he ever gave you a true answer to what your lives are like, he’d have some legitimate grievances that you overlook, or dismiss.
I feel bad for the husband and the majority of these comments are ridiculous. God forbid the man work 15+ hours a day at a stressful and demanding job and then want a little money for himself for soda and cigarettes. God forbid he take a nice long shower every night so can relax himself from his long ass day at work and prepare for the 15 minutes before bed where his wife nags and bitches at him that whole time that he’s not doing enough. Yikes on bikes, man.
Clearly a narcissist. Run, and don’t look back!
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He works over 12 hours almost everyday only having off maybe 1 - 2 days a week? & everything u wrote was about “you.” He needs time to himself (like everybody) which is most likely the cause of the long showers. U want him to give you attention, plan things, be romantic tell him to quit & focus on that. In the meantime pay all the bills he’s responsible for now.
Definitely don’t have another child with him. He sounds like narcissistic person. Where its ok for him to do stuff but not you. Sounds like you have a very unhealthy relationships. There are a lot of red flags. I would not stay in a relationship that’s not healthy
I think you know.
We just want to keep forcing something that isn’t. The job may have changed him but so does life. No excuse. If you are miserable with so many things AFTER counseling- reconsider.
Sounds like he over done from work, cut him some slack. Put yourself in his position.
Its funny how people seek justification rather than real solutions.
45 min shower: 
so men can benefit from the massage jet wand also
Sounds like a question for the wise Shivansh Agnihotri
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Your Narcissist is cheating leave now
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Sounds like hes stressed and yall may need time apart. Everyone says to leave but ten years is a long time. Id seriously sit him down and talk to him and listen to his opinions about what you also need to change. I didnt see you mention any of your faults. Which we usually dont when asking for advice but his opinions are also valid. Maybe he needs a new job where hes not working 14-16 hours a day…
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Sounds like you should serve him divorce papers! If he’s not willing to make you happy, why stay with him? Don’t stay together for the kids! Get child support and find happiness within yourself. Good luck!
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Read Dr Laura’s book the proper care and feeding of husband’s. It actually shows you that the woman is in control of the relationship…men are simple creatures…food sex backrubs and don’t start talking/demanding anything in minutes he walks through the door. If u let him spend his own money he will work less…probably works extra so he can have spending money. Give the guy a break. Also he’s probably too tired to cheat.
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I know after I work for 12+ hours I need to decompress and not be hit instantly with another pot of stress, back off a little. We only avoid our significant others when they become a significant source of stress
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He works a 8 hour plus job - pays some of the bills through auto pay, and your “unhappy” because he is “putting away” money that you have no control over. You are unhappy because he “falls asleep” right away after working 12 hours days, you are unhappy because he showers and has a cigar - and you have no control over how long and when or where - yet you feel you are not “controlling”?
Maybe instead of nagging him, you might want to approach it differently. Instead of complaining about the cigar smell, say “can we compromise? Have your cigar, but only in this room/the patio? Or sit down and say “I know how hard you work, so can we arrange a date night/family day/night so we can reconnect ? Then keep naggie issues out of it. Have a monthly day with a set time period to hash out any problems, issues and beyond that specific time/date don’t bring up the issues!!!
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He’s definitely pulling back from you. The question is, how much of that you are willing to absorb before you blow. I seriously would be formulating an exit strategy, just in case.
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Tell him priority need to be made along with choices. Child only home is anywhere loving parents are. Not in Buildings full of stuff. Best gift you can give each other is love. Best gift you can give a child is love and seeing their parents love and respect each other and work as a team.
Divorce him. This situation will never change until he leaves you.
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How about do this approach. If he says he’ll be late. Say OK honey,have fun,dinner will be in oven.
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I hate to be this blunt but after reading all of this, he’s cheating… how does he not have money but is working about 13 hour days and 5-6 days a week… you said he leaves at 4:30am and is home by 8pm.
I think this sounds like both of you, honestly.
Is it just me or do ya’ll make your own choices for your health, your body? And cigar smoking is considered a hobby basically so you are basically demanding that he stop his hobby. I don’t get why people can’t accept people how they are. I get that he’s changed because of his job, and maybe you aren’t happy with where he is at in life but it does sound kinda controlling. Moneywise, I totally get, you had every right to say something.
I’m honestly surprised about how many ppl are siding with the guy who apoarently doesn’t wanna be at home, finds whatever reason to stay out, pays just a couple of bills and has a maid at home. Just drop the deadweight, hun. Doesn’t sound like it’s worth it to stay with that excuse of a man and be miserable. He’s doing his own thing so you do yours.
I’m thinking that you can meet him for lunch on your days off and he can meet you for lunch on your days off. At least until you can reestablish the chemistry and balance in your marriage.
Trying to enjoy his company after he’s been away from home all those hours for work is ludicrous and selfish. He needs his rest.
Lunch dates to just have fun with each other can boost the energy in your marriage. Try that first before trying to squeeze in talk about other things. The positive energy can help you two sort through the rough patches. As it is now, he’s too tired from working and you’re too frustrated from the whole situation.
If he’s getting home at 8:00, you can have the babies in bed most nights and have his dinner ready so you two enjoy dinner and conversation together before he takes his shower.
Once you rekindle the chemistry and balance, he won’t need 45 minute showers and it will be easier to have those conversations that are necessary to help ease your frustration.
TLDR sounds like he does cocaine behind your back if im being honest.
This entire Facebook page has turned into a man haters club. Every single “question” is a woman complaining about her significant other and then 85% of the comments are “leave his ass” “he’s cheating” or “you don’t need no man”. This one is a good example though, sounds like this guy busts his ass to support his family and all he gets is nagged. Y’all wonder why he’s not interested in “alone time” maybe it’s because you’re riding his ass about what he buys (with money he’s earned) at a convenience store. Al Bundy was right the whole time.
Leave the man alone and let him sleep shower, shit and eat In Peace without being nagged for it damn
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To me you do sound controlling and just from what u say I don’t think I’d wanna come home neither …
