Red flags…they’re telling you already
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Sounds like he’s already checked out of the relationship. Is he really working all those hours or is he hiding out somewhere? This sounds fishy to me.
First of all, don’t bring another child into this situation. It’s not going to make anything better, if anything it’ll make it worse.
Second, don’t you dare go to counseling alone. Not only is it not going to help anything between between two of you, it’s going to give him ammo to say, “See, it’s not me that’s the problem.” Going to counseling on your own in this situation is basically saying, “What can I do or change to make myself handle this poor situation better?”
It’s understandable that you want help and for someone to give you guidance through this situation, but the therapist isn’t going to tell you how to fix your husband. They’re going to tell you how to navigate around him and make your own self happier and function better around his negativity.
The answer here is to separate if you can. I know that’s scary, especially with a child involved. Trial separations do wonders for marriages. It’s either going to show you that you’re still in love and you have enough love left in you to fight for each other and make it work, or that you don’t love each other anymore and it’s time for a new chapter.
Either way, you deserve better and should not be accepting whatever bullshit this is that he’s giving you. Nope. No chance in hell.
Unfortunately the marriage is already over. Signs are there he’s seeing someone else or completely checked out of the relationship. Cut your losses leave.
Sounds like he works pretty hard for most of the money you collectively make and you try to control it. That’s on you. Nobody wants to work their ass off then be told they can’t buy snacks. That’s ridiculous.
Just start over with another guy that has time for you but it won’t be the same
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Sounds like if he isn’t willing to work on it it needs to end
The jobs too much. How good are the benefits?
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Sounds like you are already divorced but without reaping any of the benefits of the divorce. (Peace of mind)
I would just kick him out for now or tell him you want a divorce. If that doesnt give him a wake up call. Tell him you want a break. For a month. If that doesnt work… I would divorce if it was me.
Sorry you are going through this but it sounds like you know what you want. You are worth it to get what you want!
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Seems like someone is cheating
Well you sound like a B****. Why don’t you plan something?
Please don’t have another child! You are already a single parent. It will get worse. You deserve better. Your child deserves better. You should go to counseling to get right with your own head. Seriously. I’ve been where you are. For him to be getting home late and then showering 45 min to get the other woman’s stank off😵💫 He’s cheating on you. And then having his own bank account? It’s not about the friken snacks during the day. He’s an A$$.
Hes having an affair. Call it quits.
Sounds like an arrangement not much relating going on. Very one sided efforting. Get yourself to therapy for support and clarity
Surrender your marriage, your husband, and yourself to Jesus and watch Him transform your marriage. Takes hard work and sacrifice. Look to Jesus and work on yourself and your relationship with your creator while praying for your husband. Let God change him. Shoot the messenger if you must, but Jesus is usually found in true desperation when you need a real miracle. God changed my marriage for the best version of itself. He can do all things.
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Sounds like cheating & gaslighting to me
Get yourself a lawyer and file for custody before he has a chance to do it.
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You seem like you are a lot to deal with 
Portia Bettis some of these morons…
Why are u still there
I normally don’t comment on these but the whole “he should run” or “your depressing” “your nagging” bullshit is really pissing me off.
Did you all actually read what she wrote?
She is taking care of everyone. The house, child, bills, groceries, laundry etc.
ALL THE WHILE WORKING A FULL TIME JOB.
Does his hours suck?
Yes they do.
Stop bitching and start looking for a new job.
Do you think she likes doing all this work? But she doesn’t get to quit. She’s working two full time jobs if you think about it. Her normal full time and the full time of taking care of a household.
But that is no excuse to check out on your partner especially when you have a child.
She literally said she is pouring from an “empty cup” .
That she can’t do it anymore, and I don’t blame her. She must be utterly exhausted holding things together.
They have tried marriage counseling which he didn’t take seriously.
And now he’s pissed about money and opened his own bank account.
If he has the money to do that why isn’t he paying for more bills?
Why is she holding the house together?
Why is she the one making doctors appointment when it’s their child? Groceries? Laundry? Cooking? Childcare?
She is basically doing it on her own right now.
I would leave him.
I think YOU need a break girl. At this point you are taking care of another child.
Oh for the people saying he can spend his money on whatever he wants?
What about her money? Oh that’s right it has to go to bills and taking care of their child. She doesn’t get to choose. She has to be the responsible adult. She has to pick up the slack from him.
And spending $300 at a gas station every month is ridiculous. Sorry folks. I would be pissed too. Especially when they were broke with a baby on the way.
Staying at work longer cause he doesn’t want to go home?
She doesn’t get that choice.
Tired of her nagging? Maybe check back in and help her out. If you actually help out you will notice that her “nagging” will go away.
She is utterly exhausted.
I love how it’s “nagging” when a women is utterly exhausted and is asking for help for the 10000th time.
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Did people completely skip over his work hours? He’s pulling like 80 hour weeks. That’s about double what most people with a full-time job work. I have 60 something hour weeks, & when I get a day off, I don’t want to do anything. A 45 minute shower after a long ass work day is not unusual, it can help de-stress & soothe sore muscles. Not wanting to deal with nagging after working that much isn’t unusual either. It’s sad that he feels like home is just another place for him to be stressed.
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He’s having an affair
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I’m sorry if you feel like this, you need to remove yourself from that situation…thats not love, marriage is so hard its unreal but it takes two people to work at the marriage everyday for their lifetime to make it work. Prayers for you
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Hun he either needs a different job environment that takes care of him as a worker, or you should probably begin to think about divorce. Either way it goes, the two of you have some things to resolve and that will take time, tears, and effort from everyone involved.
I’m certainly not perfect. I came home from the Army and self destructed and now my wife is divorcing me. So take what I say with a grain of salt, I suppose
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Sounds like he’s not happy where he’s at in life, if he was he would make what little time He had with you count even with a stressful job, your partner is saposed to be the person you go to when you had a bad day or a stressful one and if he’s not even spending time with you then he may not want to make it work anymore and he could be seeing someone else and want to leave you and with having a separate bank account you can’t access that’s a bit suspicious but you can’t make a relationship work with only one person trying
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That was too long to read
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It seem ok when you guys were just dating so sad that you reach this point In your relationship you will need to look into want you really want try setting goals on where you want your relationship to go from this day Reevaluate what you want and set a reality list place it in a book or calendar get back to basic and reconnect or leave me a message
If he’s suppose to be off at 6pm but gets home at 8pm and takes a 45 min shower and when he needs to “cool off” And takes 1-2 hours, comes home and showers again 
girl let that man go. You already seem like you have everything under control and don’t need him. Go fine someone who wants what you want.
Definately need counseling together and apart, share what you want and need and make hard decisions if your priorities aren’t matching up. If you can’t work through the issues better to know now and plan accordingly than keep false hope. I hope you can get what your heart desires.
I think the separate account is a great idea. Especially for just $100 a month. Each person should have their own money.
Time to re-evaluate what is important. It sounds like he works 12 hr. Shifts. That just kills a person especially if they are back to back.
I would Not have another child for starters. You deserve to have a partner not a roommate.
Your situation sounds very similar to my marriage. The long work hours, overspending (his), anger that just kept getting worse. No matter what I did or suggested for improvement was rejected. I held on with hope for almost 22 years (married 34), when one day I realized he had just been angry & yelled at me one too many times. My suspicion was not an affair with someone, but I found proof & he admitted that he had been using porn for most of our marriage. The anger, long hours, and lack of communication are all typical traits of a man who uses porn & becomes addicted to it. It’s a fix & his anger is because he’s hiding it from you. It’s easier for him to satisfy himself with porn rather than having emotions with their partner. It can involve a man getting prostitutes, or occasional hook-ups with “massage” women. The expense can add up if it’s regular weekly visits. And for a man hooked on these activities is not emotional or romantic. It’s very selfish & narcissistic, and they don’t think it hurts your feelings. For me the hurtful pain, loneliness, & deceit, & financial burden, for almost 20 years was too much to overcome. Don’t know if this is happening with you, but all the red flags are there. For a 5 year marriage it can be possible to survive whatever the issue is, if both of you are willing to put in the hard work to do it. Good luck. It won’t be easy to confront your fears. But be strong for yourself and your daughter.
Sorry go inform you but hes cheating…guaranteed…I have lived through this exact scenario ! NO WAY is he working from 4:30 am to 8 pm at night…and then leaving for 2 hours to "cool off " Bullshit ! Open your eyes huni !
You see the writing on the wall , he just doesn’t want to say it . He’s saving for something, you should too
He sounds like he’s depressec
This man is only interested in himself. Possibly having an affair.
Tony Robbins would say “Give him a blowjob”, He’ll do anything for you