How do I know what is normal with a 7yo child grieving the loss of a grandparent?

How do I know what is standard with a 7yo child grieving the loss of a grandparent? Approximately six months ago, my child lost his grandfather. He was extremely close to his grandfather, usually seeing him every single day. His grandfather was ill throughout my child’s entire life, so it was somewhat normal for him. However, in the last few weeks, he was on hospice, and my child knew that wasn’t normal. Reading things online now, I know we made the mistake of just saying, “papa was sick”. When we told him of his grandfather’s passing, he cried for probably twenty minutes & continued with his day. He did not attend funeral services. Now, almost six months later, he has what we call “meltdowns”. Small things like a Disney movie or someone just mentioning their papa upsets him terrible. He is almost inconsolable for thirty minutes. I have researched and read so many articles. I am just worried that we are not doing everything we can for him. Is this normal? Should we consider counseling? Is there something more we could be doing? Any advice or similar situations is very much appreciated!


Counseling would probably be a good option.


Sounds like he never got to say goodbye. Maybe you could hold a “memorial” service even just at your house. And counseling might be a great place to start with him.


My dad used to talk about when he dies and how us body is going wrong Infront of my son… My dad’s 88 and he’s pretty healthy but he’s still 88 so you no… Anyway my son wouoe cry and say is grandad going to die… I told my dad to stop talking about death and my point is I sat with him and explained death to him like it’s a fact no one lives forever but remember you are very young and healthy and there’s no reason anything will happen to you… He seemed to except it better after that… Or a Councillor if yiu can afford it

id try grief counseling

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You need to sit him down and talk to him. Explain everything to him in a way he can understand but without treating him like a baby. Hes old enough to know what is happening, he just needs you to be there for him and help guide him in this, hes never had to deal with it before and hes had to do it all alone


The loss of any family that in involved in your child’s life is going to be hard… My sons’ were only five years old when my mom passed away. This year made it 5 years gone, and one of the ways that helps them remember her is to light a candle for her… Needless to say, we have gone through lots of them.

My kids lost their father last year. They are 4, 5 and 6. Grief is always normal and needs to be felt and is never the same for any two people. What he’s experiencing is natural and all you can really do is be there for him. Make sure you talk about his grandfather. Share happy memories. Give him a photo or something special of his grandfathers. My kids attend a group grief counseling session with other kids who’ve lost someone. Ask the school counselor if there is something similar in your area.

You should have let him attend the funeral for one. At this point he should also already have been put in therapy. Good luck.


I would do a brief round of grief counseling just to get a professional insight. A couple sessions with and without you there. They could help with skills to better cope.


Yes it’s normal. You could explain on his age level what has happened and reassure him that his grandpa loved him. A child is just like an adult when grieving. Only difference they dont understand. Just console him when he gets upset. Let him know you’re not going anywhere, he may have fear of you leaving. I’m only speaking from experience. After a bit he’ll be fine. Theres no limit on time to grieve.

Counseling wouldn’t hurt, I hope everything works out for your family :heart:

We lost my mom around the same time, my daughter was very close to her. When we went to the care center that she was in, I let my daughter see her to say goodbye, and she attended the funeral, it helped her understand that her grandmother was no longer with us, she grieves, but she understands that Grandma is up in the sky, and we visit her urn as well. It has helped a lot. Kids are more understanding and resilient than we give them credit for. Your son needed the chance to say goodbye, and he may be angry because of it. I would suggest counseling as well.

You need to talk openly about his grandfather. Bring up memories and explain that he will always have them. Ask him how he feels about it and don’t dismiss what u may think are silly things as for him they are real and they are big. Keep communicating especially about his grandfather. If he asks questions answer as honestly as you can.


Six months isn’t a long time.He sounds like he’s grieving as he should be and needs allowed to.Perfectly natural reaction to things that obviously remind of him.Your doing great,let him know after he calms down that you understand how sad he is and rightly so but that it will get better…perhaps also start talking about good memories,have you visited grave with him?


Flowers/final goodbye at the gravesite!(same happened 2 my g-daughter!) she left a letter she wrote, pouring her heart out with “LOVE” N has moved on!

There is no “normal” everyone grieves differently. Even children.

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I lost my grandfather 69 years ago i lived with him & grandma my first 9 years & i still miss them the hurt never goes away you just learn to live with it. I was not allowed to go to his funeral eather that was a big mistake.

Hold a service and put a plaque or pebble in plant a tree with your boy for a memorial or Grief counselling phychologist

Your talking to the right.person in March.of this.year. your son is grieving.his grandpa and yes a anything.that.may remind.him of.him will there.for.him remind.him his grandpa.loved.him he a if he believes.he will see.his grandpa but for now we.just.havento muttle thru.grief condolences God bless

He’s grieving now being you didn’t give him the chance to grieve when his grandpa passed away. Talk to him but not as a baby!! Let him know he can talk about grandpa at any time. See how that goes.


He should of went to funeral 1st.And sick is not a good word because next time he down being ill.He may think he going to die…but …we have a lot of books for grief.Start there…And then take to therapy a couple times so he can talk it through…

Do the counseling. My son was 9 or 10 when my mother in law (his grandmother) died of cancer. Counseling helped him a lot.

What I did, was get out an old photo book. I sat my son down and said “let’s talk about grampa. He’s in heaven, watching you to make sure you’re ok.” We looked at pictures and laughed at the funny ones. My son was 8. I told him it was ok to cry. It was ok to feel bad. I let him go through the pictures alone after that. He still had meltdowns. But he did get better.

Grief will last as long as his heart does​:blue_heart: no person should have a deadline…talk about his grandpa with him, the happy memories. And hug him when he has moments the memories become sad. Almost 22years and there are still breakdowns for me. It’s not odd for him to have those moments :blue_heart::blue_heart:


Love him and let him talk about his grandfather as long as he wants. Reminisce with him. You knew his grandfather longer and can probably add to his memories. A counselor didn’t know his grandfather don’t waste your money. Let others in the family reminisce too. Make a memory book. Go visit places that were their favorite or that were grandpa’s favorite as a young man. Keep the memories alive. That’s what helped me when mine died and I was able to share him with my children many years later by doing these same things with my children.

I would also enroll him in big brother big sister program or something like it. Sometimes they need an out let other then parents.

Mortuary services can give you resources for grief counseling. There are some groups for children who have lost a loved one

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Everyone grieves differently. Just be there

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A lot of schools run a program called seasons for growth for children experiencing grief or loss or difficulties

Greif counsellor told my mum after my sister died you’re often in shock/denial for the first 6 months before it hits you. Try a grief counsellor.

I think it’s something that needs to be talked over with him but I also think counseling would be a great thing

Everyone grieves differently. There is never a right way or an appropriate amount of time that a person should grieve. He was very close to his Grandpa, and I imagine he has never experienced losing anyone at his age. Poor guy. Maybe you guys can start a scrapbook of memories of him and his"Papa". Something that is HIS that he can keep…and do it together. As y’all put it together maybe he will talk about his memories with you and hopefully can start moving away from the hurtful part of grief and start remembering the good times. God Bless Y’all.

Be there, hug him, love him and let him grieve.

Seek professional help for him. It’s okay to do so. It will pay off long term

Counselling is a great idea. But they need to listen to any and every thing he has to say. Regarding his grandfather, and whatever else he needs to talk about.

The thing about councillors that I don’t like, is that I am yet to find one that will do more than just give thinking/breathing techniques etc.
Some people just need to talk to someone. Some people just need new ways of processing things. Some need both.
If your son isn’t improving with the first one, find another one.

His mental health is so very important.

I was 9 when my mom passed. Went to the funeral and grave. Cried in silence for 2 yrs waiting for her.

Idk where you are located but they do have grief groups for children. Also, picture books are great ik we lost my grandparents when my son was young within 9 months of eachother and those helped. It can be very traumatic and you want to address it as soon as you can because it can come out in other ways and be mistaken for things like ADHD, Anxiety, learning disabilities, anger etc. I hope that helps.


This is so sad! Such a tribute to Grandpa. He REALLY loved him.

Take him to grandpa’s gravesite to say goodbye!!!:bouquet::tulip::rose::gift_heart::church::angel:

Sometimes through the hospice program that Grandpa was in, they offer free counseling. Might call and ask.

Everybody grieves differently may have taken longer to process for him realise his grandfather us not coming back those little meltdowns are when he has memory of him

Six months ago my husband died and we were raising one of our granddaughters. He had been sick most of her life too. He was in hospice too. We started grief counseling to help her to deal. Please try this. It really helps.

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There is no standard. My Son was 10 when my dad died and it seemed to take him 2 years to come to terms with the reality of our new world and all the emotions that he was hit with. We took him to counseling for about 6 months afterwards and I wouldn’t say it helped him understand what happened but it made him feel like all his emotions were valid and that it was ok for him to process the way he needed.

Maybe some therapy. And take him to the gravesite and let him know papa still hears him. That if he needs to just tell you and you wait near by while he talks to him?

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I think there is no “normal” way of grieving.
I think speaking to a family dr about counselling would be a great idea.

Maybe you could get your son to talk about his feelings, and to share what he is going through which may help shed some light on how u can help him personally xxx

Sorry for the loss

Counseling, the sooner he can deal with the loss the better his future will be. Leaning about loss is hard and they carry it around forever, thinking they didn’t fo enough.or blaming themselves

How about taking him to the grave? Or your minister, or touching base with the hospice people? When my mother died my child was 5. My husband had died when she was 15 mo. At the memorial we had, she was being cremated, my daughter and her cousin snuck back in and were talking about where Grammy had gone. They had seen a movie about it, All dogs go to Heaven. Talk about his grandpa and help him make a memorial about him.