This question was submitted to our community via our Facebook page and/or our Answers forum. Responses are also taken from the community. If you have your own parenting or relationship question you would like answers to, submit on Facebook or Answers.
QUESTION:
"He lives over 12 hours away. Never been there for her. Owes 15k in child support. I only want my kids to be happy and she is convinced this will make her happy. I'm dying inside. Help me see the light."
RELATED: Estranged Dad Offloads 80,000 Pennies Onto Ex-Wife’s Lawn As Final Child Support Payment, Daughter Responds
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"As far as supporting him/her, call or text them that you support them… that you’ll still continue to be there for them… that you love them, only want what will make them happy. As for yourself, maybe write in a notebook your thoughts to help get it off your chest, go to church, temple, etc (if your religious), pick up a new hobby to help keep your mind occupied. I don’t think anything will help much unfortunately, that’s a hard situation. Just keep in contact with them & give it time. Don’t bottle everything in though… it will come out somehow one day."
"I’m sorry you’re going through this. Unfortunately, all you can do is let her know that you’ll always welcome her home with open arms if she wants to ever come back. She needs to recognize on her own whether or not this will make her happy."
"This is a journey she has to take. Just tell her you understand and that you love her and your door is always open. God bless y’all."
"I did that and was home within the month. Xxx"
"Make sure she’s in a safe environment and go to the courts if needed. Remember she will be turning 18 and can make decisions on her own just keep her in good relations with you so it’ll be the good decisions she makes. I really hope it all turns out better for you."
"As hard as it is, you need to let it play out and love her from a distance for now… Either they’ll bond and form a great relationship or she’ll run home… Just keep loving her and don’t make her feel bad for wanting a relationship with him, hopefully as he gets to know her he regrets his previous choices and works to make up for them with her."
"I did the same thing to my Mom. My dad was never around. I moved in with him after I graduated high school and things went south quickly. Even though I know my Mom knew that was a strong possibility, and my dad had never been involved during my upbringing, I NEEDED to learn it the hard way for myself. In hindsight, after becoming a mother myself, I can see how my actions broke her heart. BUT, her letting my Dad SHOW me how bad he was INCREASED my trust in her. she never said no, she never doubted my process. Some things you have to learn through hard first hand experiences. And I did. My mom and I are closer than ever now."
"Be supportive but she’s got to learn this lesson about her dad on her own as much as you want to protect her."
"Just wait, be there for her when she calls, and support her when she does. If she’s not happy she’ll come back. If she does end up happy there just remind her that you’re always there for her. That is probably the best you can do. She needs to learn for herself, while it probably isn’t ideal, and you suffer heartache in the meantime, it’s what she thinks she needs. My heart goes out to you. Hang in there."
"Honestly the more you push the worse it’s gonna be. I was in your daughter’s situation. We always come back. No matter what we say. We just need time sometimes."
Have a response to this question? Leave it below to help a mama out! Or leave your own question and get responses from real moms!
READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW: