You just have to be straight forward, and be strong. Tell him you no longer want him thereā¦ be confident because he most likely will try and make you feel bad if he really is using you. No matter what his excuse isā¦ he doesnāt have anywhere else to go, etc. sorry to say but thatās not your problem. Thereās no reason that youāre the one doing everything & still getting negativity talked too so he shouldāve thought about that before. Confidence is key
You throw his stuff out
Push through the feelings he is projecting on to you. Remember your worth
Give him a thritys days notice if they legally have mail and have it as a court ordered eviction
Just tell him straight to leave and stick to it
Thank him for the good times you did have and thank him for teaching you not to put up with this stuff and tell him itās time to go.
Youāll have to legally evict him cause more than likely heās not just gonna get up and leave honestly. Do not throw his stuff do not change locks etc you have to legally kick him out thereās no way around it sadly
First off, if itās a child that he is a father of, you need to do everything you can to get proof of neglect verbal mental physical or financial abuse, take valuables out of the house along with important papers, etc and keep them with someone you trust. Not a mutual friend that he might convince to give the stuff back. You need to find who the better lawyers are and consult with them specifically so that he cannot use them, then find as many free consult lawyers around and consult with all of them so that itās more difficult for him to find a lawyer. When he is saying hateful stuff record it and get it on video, not just voice. Screenshot all bad messages, if he is a slob take photos, look into the laws about what his rights would be to possessions since yāall have lived together for so long, for example Commonwealth marriage etc. Some states have similar laws when it comes to dividing wealth even if you are only dating. Make sure that your family and your work and your close friends that you trust know whatās about to happen before you in things so that he canāt go do something underhanded or try to get you fired. Make child Care arrangements if need be, try to find somewhere else to stay for a few days, and then have him legally evicted. Just know that the eviction process is very long right now and heās probably going to make your life a living hell. Thatās why itās important to document any abuse so that if necessary law enforcement will step in and have him physically removed and you can get a restraining order. If yāall have joint bank accounts make sure that he doesnāt take all that money and run. If your car insurance isnāt in your name, get it in your name because he can cancel your car insurance and get you in trouble. Make sure major bills are in your name and your phone as well, if possible put up a hidden camera somewhere so that if you have to leave you can still monitor things in case he decides to get destructive. But definitely consult with a free lawyer and find out what you can legally do.
Get an eviction notice
With the police and a real eviction notice.
Just pack up and leave fuck ittttt
If you want him to go tell him. You can also call the police and they will escort him out. Donāt let anybody make you feel like less of a person just because they are.
Or a retainer order go to court
Give him a formal eviction notice and donāt talk to him from there.
Just tell him to leave itās so over
You canāt stop him from doing what heās going to do i.e. attempting to emotionally manipulate you & trying to make you feel bad. You can only control what your actions and reactions will be. Decide how you want to do it- text, call, email, in person, letter, changed locks. Give him a date to be out by. Get you a support system to lean on in moments of weakness and/or to physically be there when he moves out. It really just boils down to a made up mind.
Heās pulling you down because of his own insecurities. Remember who you are, whenever he throws something negative at you tell him that you will not stand for this anymore. You and your child deserve better. You sound like a person who can take care of herself so leave him because the longer you stay the longer itās going to go on and a child doesnāt need to see his mother being brought down, he will remember when heās older like my son does.
Do not let him project his word/ feelings on you. You are better than that. File for full custody and a 30 day eviction. Stand up for yourself and child its worth it in the end.
Pack his stuff toss it outside change the locks and tell him or pack everything you want and leave
You straight up tell him to leave and donāt listen to his gaslighting. No matter what you say if heās that type of person he will try to manipulate you. You canāt worry about what heās going to say. You have to be firm in your decision and stick to it no matter what
Itās like this: Iām NOT happy. Youāre not happy. Time for you to go. Go be happy, someplace ELSE
You canāt make him leave. Itās his home too. You can leave
First thing is FIRST. Hire an attorney and sue for custody and have him served with an eviction notice, but donāt do ANYTHING until you have custody lined up.
Sweetie,
This is a NARCISSIST. What you are hearing from him isnāt him just ābeing meanā and āusing your insecurities against youā itās called gaslighting.
So many men in the world have absolutely perfected being a narcissist. They are so good at it that you will eventually start to believe what they say and second guess yourself constantly. Just because you guys have a child does NOT mean itās best to stay for the child.
Is a child with both parents the ideal situation? Of course. But it isnāt always the best one. I will say from experience that it doesnāt get any better and if you think that it is getting better itās honestly just the control of your emotions and mind that he has instilled in you. You should want your child to see what a good healthy relationship/marriage looks like.
Raising children in a chaotic home creates chaotic behaviors in the child which can actually affect them for the rest of their life.
But know that it is okay. Itās okay because sometimes moms and dads fall out love and sometimes two homes are better than one. 
Since youāre ādoing better than him nowā just leave him where heās at and move on, literally
I was told I was leaving cuz I didnāt want to pay the billsā¦ I was stupid cuz I supported my daughter for 2 months because going to college full time n student teaching n trying to work left her looking like death. I embarrassed him by not dressing like a biker babe. My parents were bad parents because I raised my 3 brothers ( mom died when I was 12 n my dad worked a lot)ā¦ I was a whore because I went to Mi n stayed on my ex husbands couch to save money. He accused me of stealing his food stamps to buy my food ( I wasnāt n was buying all the things that food stamps didnāt pay for. After I left I came back to MI n I called him n told him he had 24 hours to get service on his phone cuz it was going off. He screamed that I couldnāt do that ( it all was in my name). He wanted $600 a month from me because āhe needed to liveā! I laughed at that one. He accused me of sleeping with our mechanic because I had his cell number. I wasnāt n told him if I get to the yard at 2am n have a flat tire calling the office did no good. I needed to call the mechanic asap. ( I drove semi coast to coast). Iāve been alone since 2015 n I really do love my life. As for him he got my phone number from someone n called me 2 years after I left to come back to him. . He wanted me back. I told him he wasnāt good enough for me to do that. Please just ask him to move. Change the locks the minute heās out. Call the police n tell them you are kicking bf out n want to make sure he goes. Protect you n your kidā¦ l will say a prayer for you tonight. Believe me itās going to be better with out all the stress n abuse you are suffering from. Protect your son. Thatās your job. Good luck n update us soon.
Angela has it right, But run onā¦
Can you try couples counseling first? Is this a recent change or phase? Are circumstances likely to change in the near or distant future? Ask if heād be willing to go to counseling and give him a week to answer or change his mind. 12 years is a long time. If heās not willing to go with you, see a counselor yourself. She/he can help you steel yourself to the insults, see the relationship from an outside perspective, and help you evaluate the good, bad and dangerous points of your relationship.
Do you ask him why heās being so mean when he acts this way? What does he get out of it? Does he feel like he is not providing for his family, hates himself for it, then takes his anger out on you? Is his self esteem battered or is he depressed? His behavior canāt be good for your child, especially if you have a son who may feel he needs to protect you but canāt.
Has he fallen out of love with you or is he just hitting a rough patch? Is there another woman and heās trying to make you break up with him first? Do you have validation from friends, work, hobbies, etc. ? Does he? Are you mad that you are now the primary wage-earner? Did you feel used when he was the one earning more money?
Does he help out at all? Like fixing things, getting/cooking dinner once in a while, taking out the garbage, doing other household chores or taking care of lawn, cars, paying bills & keeping a budget, taking care of taxes, grocery shopping, etc? If not, why not?
Is he a good, involved father who spends quality time with your child, taking her/him to/from school, sports, events, helping with homework, having meaningful talks and answering questions? Does he do things with you as a family? Does he initiate family activities? Do you have date nights? Is he careful with his money or does he spend it as soon as he gets it?
Do you both have other people you can turn to? Apparently he has his Wednesday night mates (are you sure this is where he goes?) but do you each have friends and family you can lean on and mutual friends? This might have been a better option to have with you in your grief over your dog vs. him. Wasnāt it his dog also?
Please contact a womenās center or similar organization to help extricate yourself from the situation SAFELY. You should talk to him about ending the relationship and see what he says, then focus on his moving out of heās amenable. Depending on whose names are on the lease or mortgage, you will likely have to give 30 days notice and have an eviction notice served unless you think he will go quietly. Ask people at the courthouse who you can talk to to clarify whatās legal/allowed and whatās not.
Is he on the birth certificate? Decide how you want to handle custody. Have his support payments taken directly from his paycheck. Is he a threat to the child? How much time would he want to spend with her/him? Do you need to specify supervised visitation only? If he chooses abandonment, be prepared to put your kid in therapy. Do you want to stipulate how long he has to be in a new relationship with another woman before he introduces her to the child?
Thankfully youāre not married, so you donāt have to hire a lawyer to get divorced, but may need one for legal and physical custody, medical authority, and visitation schedule.
Iām sure youāre the best mother you can be. You are stronger than you think. Find your inner badass and stand up for yourself. Work with that therapist until you can refuse to be bullied, manipulated or gaslit. Iām so sorry about your dog, and I hope you find a happy life with your child.
Lawyer time, you need someone whose dealt with people like him, protect yourself and kiddo. And if you donāt want to be with someone thatās ok!
This isnāt the first time heās been a punk, right? Youāve been knowing his character for years but decided to stay because it was āācomfortableāāā¦right? Youāre LITERALLY wasting your life right now on this dude. Buckle up that self esteem and let the bad b!tch out. He doesnāt appreciate you.If he did, he wouldnāt be using you. He would get his shit together. You owe him nothing. Youāve been pulling the weight while heās been trying to āāfixāā himself but heās simply not doing it. I do suggest starting the child custody process beforehand just so the split will be less messy. Please also be careful in case he gets violent
just be nice about it. tell him to pack his bags and get the hell out or tell him your thru and you will even pack his bags for him and get the hell out
Just tell him its over to leave. STAND UR GROUND PET XXXX
Do whatās best for you and your child xx
You will have to go down and get an eviction notice and go from there. Good luck
If I were you Iād just up and leave one day with the kid. You know heās going to try to manipulate you so heās not just going to quietly leave. Tell him itās over and get custody established ASAP.
Just say itās not working I want you out. Have the police there if youāre afraid!
Just straight out tell him to go! Period! He sounds narcissistic and is intentionally hurting you. That is no way to live. PUT HIM OUT! Good luck.
Serve him with an eviction. If he gets violent in any way call the cops and day you want to file a ppo. Unfortunately itās not as easy as throwing his things out, he lives ther too and thatās what the cops will say. If youāre renting Iām not sure tbh, Iād contact a lawyer and see if you can evict him or if itās easier for you to break lease and move out.
Just keep in mind that thatās what heās trying to do to you. Donāt let him win. Stiffen up that back bone and tell him to get the hell out!
All the ājust put him outā people have clearly never been through this. That isnāt how this works. 
Tell him to get the fuch out! Thatās how!
You are always right in how you feel. Own it. Know no one can tell you your feelings are wrong. Then tell him to leave and stay strong in knowing what you already know to be right and true! Draw that boundary with him and hold firm to it.
Put him out, STICK TO YOUR GUNS! Do not let him try to manipulate or guilt you or anything else. Narcissists want to be in control. Donāt allow him. Just continue to say āitās not a discussion. You need to leave.ā Do not entertain him trying to bait or persuade you. Itās going to be hard but do not falter, stand your ground. Call in the cops if you need assistance or youāre scared of escalation.
You owe nothing to anyone who disregard you, neglects you, and your child will see this and perceive it as normal. Get. Out. Leave him there and go, pack while heās out with his friends and be gone.
you canāt control his response, only yours. stay strong, if not for you, for your son or he may turn out just like him.
Tell him to pack his stuff or you will do it for him and tell hom to leave
Say get the hell out and donāt come back. 
How long has he lived there? Is the house/apartment in your name, his name or both of your names? I believe (but it can be different for every state/county) if heās been receiving mail at that address you need to go to the court and serve him with an eviction notice, you canāt just throw his stuff out. Donāt even tell him about it, and make sure that when heās served that police are present and are also present the day he takes his stuff and moves out. If the place you live is in his name, contact a trusted friend and ask if you and your child can spend a few days there while you get your own place and pack up and leave while he isnāt home because you canāt make him leave his own home. I would also be going to the court to get child support and visitation in place, Im not sure if this process is the same if both your names are on the house/lease or if itās the same for just a significant other or a married couple.
Put his stuff on the curb change your locks
And text him saying itās the end of things
Give him a few days notice.Tell him to be gone not working out. Protect yourself.
You go to judge yourself and file an epoxy and have him removed from residence period wether he has been physically violent or not you need to get epoxy and have the judge put in order that you and the kids are to stay in home until it goes to court that is going to be your fastest way out I know from experience I had to help my bonus daughter mom out of similar situation and this is how the attorney went about telling us to do it and he was removed and served that day
You gotta stonewall him. Just keep repeating āit doesnāt matter what your saying, I need you to leaveāā¦ And only say that. Donāt get drawn into a conversation about it.
If your worried about him getting physical in anyway, either with you or your stuff, have someone there with you.
Why do you care what it looks like or who is to blame? Tell him to leave if he refused evict him.
He probably wonāt leave willingly. If it is a shared apt talk to landlord about getting out of the lease due to domestic violence if that is your case. File for exparte motion through court for custody of kids. Then you move. If it is an OWNED house, if he is not on the paperwork file for an eviction, if he gets crazy call the police. You can get an expoxy to help you from court. If BOTH are on the house you will have to go to the courts and ask they remove him or you and kids leave and leave the bills and issues there to him while yāall move on. Either way, best to find a way out. While he is gone, pack up all of yours and the kids important documents, belongings, most meaningful stuff and put in a secret storage he will know nothing about, if you have any shared bank accounts take your money out of there and store it in the storage too if you must. Because if he flips he will try to do things to hurt you and that would be to destroy things that have meaning to you. Leave some items there to occupy the house and show residence of course if you plan to try to stay in the house, but if you plan on leaving completely still leave some there so he doesnāt really notice then next time he is out, pack the rest and go. Be sure to file for custody of kids immediately though! Make sure you have a new address to send mail to as well as giving a PO BOX to court and ask that all their paperwork be sent there and that your PHYSICAL address NOT be displayed on court documents. That way he can ONLY get your PO BOX until/unless court orders visiting and even then you could ask to meet up at a public place for child exchanges.
Send him on a boys trip. Then pack your shit and go.
Donāt do it in the middle of a fight. He will think youāre ājust madā. Simply go to him and have an adult conversation. Tell him itās over and itās time for him to go. You donāt deserve the mental and verbal abuse. If youāre already doing it on your own, you might as well be on your own. Stand your ground. No man should feel insecure that his woman is doing better than him. Youāre supposed to be a team. Whatās good for you is good for him.
If youāre really serious pack your stuff and move out when he call, texts, or comes around tell him matter of fact and stern not harsh just stern itās over you canāt and wonāt do it anymore and remember no matter what he says stick to what makes you happy.
You will have to either tell him, he has to go or you can evict him. Tell him itās not gonna work, and he can leave. You sure donāt need anyone putting you down, you have to do what is best for you. Or you can leave for a couple of days if you have a place to go and let things settle down some then you can talk to him.
Talk about whatās not working. Quiet controlled voice Give himm a date. Repeat that you want her m to leave by date .No argument, 
discussion or replies
Another narsisist Iām the victim yourthe goof up Iām the only one who wants you your lucky Iām here I got you when you were young so I could manipulate you andiwould always be the hero and you donāt appreciate me you do everything wrong I am king
Have a conversation with him and tell him but maybe not in the middle of an argument as it may seem like your ājust madā best of luck!