How do i tell my father in law that he can’t kiss or hold my baby in a nice way?

All I’m gonna say is you should probably be more concerned about raising a baby with a drunk around but hey what do I know :tipping_hand_woman:

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No yur not wrong it’s yur baby u need to do what u have to God bless

Say what needs to be said and that’s that. It ain’t have no nice way to say it. Just keep it straight to the point. Who vex loss!!!

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There really isn’t a nice way to tell a drink anything so you might as well just be blunt and get it over with.

Just say it blame it on the dr or nurses. A lot of flu etc

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I honestly would have my baby sleeping in my room if this was going on. I agree with telling him straight forward but if he’s under the influence I wouldn’t trust anyone. Keep your baby in your room in these early months and I would give the relative a choice to quit his habit or get out because you have to protect your child and even being raised around that isn’t healthy.


Be mean about it. Be rude. Its YOUR BABY. Not theirs. You are protecting YOUR BABY. If they get mad about it, SCREW EM.


You’re not exaggerating. I knew a grown man healthy as can be die from the flu.
Don’t say it in a nice way, don’t be nice at all. That’s your baby so your rules. If they dont like it tell them to get out.

Is that your house or his. If it’s his, try to get out of there.

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Just plain out tell them

Stop doing the whole “nice way” thing. Tell them is fucking dangerous. My oldest child nearly died from RSV at 2 weeks old. I don’t think I slept a full hour during her very lengthy NICU stay. By the time I had my second child, I was batshit crazy and ordered people to shower and then also use hand sanitizer before touching her. Zero kissing allowed.

Throat punch people if necessary.

First: If he’s drunk all the time you shouldn’t have your baby around him. 2nd. Just tell everyone to wash their hands, if they dont tell them they can’t touch your baby. If they get mad or don’t like it the hell with them. It doesn’t really matter how they take it. You gota look after - take care of your baby first before you worrie about people’s feelings. I agree with Sabrina Nelson screw em…


Put lots of hand wash around when you pick your baby up wash your hands also PS showing you mean what you say but lock the drunk out he should know better they do not know they are scratching there nose hand do they wash there hands after the toilet some men and ladies and specialty children should wash your hands all the time, go to Hospital now there’s hand wash foam on every floor and the sigh says WASH YOUR HANDS before you enter this floor ok

So with all 3 of mine,when people wanted to come visit or see baby i had strategically and very obviously placed hand santazier bottles that were in such places that it forced you to see them and generally people know immediately what to do. I dont think its so much that people dont respect what we ask of them when it comes to these things but its more so they havent gotten into routine of washing hands before handling the baby. We also had signs that just made in word and printed off that said please wash hands before handling our little one. Every.time. also please no kisses or hands near mouth. So very straight forward but not rude at all. People appreciated the reminder and it gave me peace of mind.

Honestly, ive dealt with a similar situation. Your kid your rules. I think being nice but direct is the best way to go about it. You cant control how people feel about your rules as a parent but you’re the mom and they need to respect that. Flu season is very scary for parents with young children. The fact that some people don’t get that is beyond me.

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If you are living in your parents in-laws place,move out and put ground rules at your place


Oh no people can’t even walk in to my house if I think they’ve been drinking. Just tell him not nice and not bad just say “uou can’t be around your grandchild if you’ve been drinking or if you’re sick” please keep the baby in your room for a few nights

Don’t be nice about it, you’re that babies momma bear so be as aggressive as you need to get your point across! I will never allow anyone to kiss my baby no matter what season it is, I use to get cold sores and have every so often I my adult years and my bf told me it’s because someone must’ve kissed me as a baby or toddler and past it onto me because cold sores are a form of HPV…scary to think about and disgusting. So be as nice or mean as you need to be to get it through whomevers head that they will respect your boundaries no matter how ridiculous they sound!

You’re going to have to be strict. Do it for the safety of your baby. Everyone that has commom sense will understand. Everyone will get over it.

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Straight up who cares if you stir that drama up? let them know you’re his mother and you are keeping him safe. If you’ve already asked; they’ve already ignored you if it’s still a problem. I realized I am not heard by my in-laws either so I lost my noodle. Problems have suddenly disappeared because I stopped tolerating bullshit :woman_shrugging:t2:

Drama or not you do what you need to do to protect your baby


Just be straight forward

Hell with getting the flu he said take it to the bedroom

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Tell him doctors orders newborn has to be in a sanitized atmosphere Immune system is in jeopardy. Keep baby with you next to your bed. FIL might be joking but just in case. FIL’s habit (?) of being drunk and throwing up is a big concern. He may become actually ill due to his life style. His immune system is low. If you can find a place to go, if not put a lock on your bedroom door. Chain lock will work, you will hear if he tries to come in.

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No one was or still is allowed to touch my baby without washing their hands ! And NO ONE is allowed to kiss him grandparents or not

I carried sanitizer everywhere and when someone asked to hold my son, I made them sanitize first.

Not sure if you live with the in law or if he lives with you, but your own place will resolve this concern.

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Don’t be nice. Your baby’s life depends on you putting your foot down.

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That’s spreading germs, tell him that u don’t want anyone coughing around the baby.

Just tell him the truth

You’ve tried telling him nicely. So either stop going around him with baby or just be completely straight forward. You’re that babies protection!

You didn’t mention where the baby’s father is, but if he’s there, he should be standing up for you and the baby. Firmly. And if necessary, be rude. Some people will never respect your boundaries and if he’s drunk he probably doesn’t even understand why it’s so important…if you have to live with him, put a deadbolt on your bedroom door and avoid him as much as possible. Visit someone or somewhere else during the day whenever possible.
Someone who cared about the baby would whatever is necessary to protect him. When my granddaughter was pregnant I took her to one of her checkup appointments and was told that it was important for family members to make sure they had a pertussis vaccine. (For those who dont know- it’s for whooping cough which killed a lot of children before the vaccine.) Even though I’d had the vaccine as a child they’re recommending it be repeated if it was a long time ago. I had them give it to me while I was there.

In this case, don’t be nice just be👍

Drunks are NEVER allowed to hold babies


I. Sying in a nice way your son I your priority don’t care who’s doing made this mistake with my uncle if I would not have caught the baby would have dropped him and he was just elderly. But health and safety . No means no.

He can just hold the baby when I’m there

I have never been nice about kissing my son, especially to those who are sick. My son, my rules. Don’t kiss my damn baby!

Just be straight with him. Say “with you being sick I dont want to chance you making mg child sick” or if he’s drunk “you are drunk so no you ain’t holding my child” or “with illness going around everyone will be washing their hands before holding my child and no kissing” it’s your child, it dont matter if anyone else lioes it or not. Your child your rules

Lock your door, go out (store, friends, walk) to be away from FIL as much as possible for now.

Figure out what you need to do to get your own place. Frankly, this should have been your first priority before having a child, but what’s done is done. Take whatever steps you need to achieve your own home so you can get away from this a-hole.

Is there any possibility of getting FIL into AA or other detox program? Sounds like the family doesn’t care though, so wouldn’t do an intervention. Think long and hard about whether or not you want to stay with this BF because he & his family sound ignorant and rude.

Just tell him protect your child

I think I would be a lot more concerned with his threatening to go in his room at night while you are asleep. That sounds way fishy to me.

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Be straight forward with the truth. Tell everyone (not just FIL) if they choose to drink, they will not be holding your baby. If they have a cold or so much as a cough. They will not be going near your baby. Its flu season. Your baby’s health depends on others to be responsible and respectful of your wishes.

Your the mother. Your duty is to protect your child.

You’ve already brought this to their attention multiple times and they are still disregarding your concerns. I don’t think there is a nice way to go about it anymore. Put your foot down, mama.


Don’t go over there anymore. Just invite mother-in-law to your house!!!

my ? is what ever happened too the olden days when my kids were born my nephews my nieces my grand kids were alll born and great nephew and nieces were born no1 washed thier hands if you have other kids or take youre child out either way the baby is going too be sick if not youre lucky as welli dont blame you on not letting youre fil hold the baby while hes druonk i wouldnt either as fear of dropping the baby theres germs out there no matter what u do

Ur right… My son got sick and almost died on me. So be upfront. If they have a problem oh well. Ur son comes first.

If you live in his house, move. Problem solved. I would live anywhere other than with a sloppy drunk.

I’d simply put it in the easiest of words… my child my rules if you don’t like it well tough sh*t! I’m the mother and I decide what is best. If you can’t stay sober and wash your hands you won’t touch my baby or come near him/her. Neither will anyone else. Your a mother and there is no time for pleasantries anymore pull those mama bear claws out and show them they are shiny!