I’ve been annoyed by my father in law lately. He’s always getting drunk and talking shit. He says he’s going to grab my newborn while we’re sleeping at night and sneak him to his room, which is not ok with me. He’s always drunk and is sick an always coughing and throwing up. This is the flu season, and a lot of babies have been in and out of the hospital due to sickness; some don’t even get to make it back home. I’ve been so strict and trying to tell them in a nice way that I DONT want anyone touching my baby without washing their hands. Or when they’re sick. My family thinks I’m over exaggerating, but I don’t want my baby to die cause people don’t know how to listen. So my question is, how can I avoid this in a nice way that doesn’t stir up drama.
Wear your baby 100% of the time and don’t stay long. You “don’t feel well”.They need to respect you and the health of your baby.
Drama or no drama. The drunk man needs to not take the baby…
Rsv is no joke and my biggest fear when mine was little… if she got sick before 6 months she’d have to get a spinal tap. Your baby your rules.
They can get over it. Your baby your rules. I’m going to be the same way when I have my son in may
Show him pics of some of the babies that’s going around on Facebook who have RSV/Bronchitis/Pneumonia. And lock the baby in the room with you at night. Put hand sanitizer out and insist it’s used before anyone touches baby. You’re the mom, just gotta take the bull by the horns and speak.
Even without the sickness, him being drunk is enough for me to say lay off my baby 🤷
Moving out would be the easiest
Is it ur house or his?
If its his house, stop and get out! You need to get a job and move out now!!! U need to put the child in daycare and get a job
If u dont live together lock ur doors and get a restraining order. He sounds dangerous!
Gotta put your foot down. It’s a newborn baby. Hes drunk and sick. Those dont mix well, ever. Put a lock on your bedroom door so he cant come in while your sleeping.
Cause the drama girl, put them in their place
No is a sentence. Let the baby sleep with you or put your foot down. Obviously being nice isn’t working. No drunk person needs to be around a newborn period. If other people fail to understand that then they are part of the problem.
You don’t. You do it directly, if your baby dies or ends up in the hospital you won’t care if you were nice or not.
Drama or not, babys safety comes first.
You don’t want him around your kid then move out
Sounds like you need a new living situation.
You err on the side of caution and JUST DO IT. As many times as necessary. PROTECT your child. The consequences of not doing it are too Great
Put the baby in your room and lock the door
Wtf? Dont invite his drunk dirty ass over to your house.
If he lives with you either you move out or he moves out for Bubs safety. Also your baby your rules. Babies getting sick so young is not good. Also him being drunk all the time around a newborn isn’t good.
Tell him straight out. Sometimes u have 2 be a bit harsh. Its ur baby ur rules he has 2 respect that
Stir the pot. Sounds like they don’t understand what boundaries are and need to be put into place. Your baby, your rules.
Do you live with him? Weather you do or don’t. Whether he is drunk or not. You tell him NO. who cares how HE feels. You have a baby to protect.
Tell him to piss off. You cant reason with alcoholics, and hes only your father inlaw, not your responsibility. and where is the son of this father-in-law, whats he doing to keep his fathers drunkn crap away. Get the mongrel out or a strong firm talking to. But good luck, hes a drunk, its never nice dealing with one of them.
Just flat out tell them if they dont like it then thats on them they will get over it rsv is no joke my sone was Hospital twice because of rsv
Keep your door locked at night and during nap times. Get one of those things that keeps your baby on you. If they don’t like it tfb. They need to learn boundaries
I would stir drama. That’s your baby not his. If he don’t listen tell his ass off. I’ve done it to my parents and my in-laws.
Just straight up tell him. Don’t be nice cause some people can’t take a hint when you try to be nice. Lock your door so he can’t get in the room. And if you’re living with him work on moving out.
Put your foot down either tell him flat how it is or have him eventually fo what he wants and risk your baby being sick
Don’t be nice tell him to back off
You don’t need to be “nice” it’s your baby and your baby needs you to be the voice, stuck up for your baby so you don’t later regret not doing so
Tell them flat out: “Do not kiss my baby. Do not touch my baby without washing your hands. If you try either, you will lose the privilege of holding my baby.” Baby’s safety is first. Nice has nothing to do with that.
You can’t. Straight up just say no. “My child, my rules. His health isn’t important to you? Well it is to me and I said NO.”
Your baby your rules. I’m not exactly “nice” when it comes to my kids. Either you adhere to my expectations(which really aren’t many or crazy) or you don’t get to enjoy them. It’s our jobs as parents to protect our children’s health and well-being.
Stir up drama ! Your a mom now it’s your job protect that baby if he gets mad stay away its that simple ur the baby’s God it’s your job do it ! If piss him off stay away or in room but protect that baby! Please and thanks
My grandpa did this with me and all my siblings and cousins. Would sneak in and get us. My ONLY rule was, Hand sanitizer at all times.
Moving out seems like the best decision
That’s scary. I would find an alternative housing situation quick. If he is an alcoholic it won’t get better. You need to get yourself and your kid out of that situation.
As far as everyone else goes tell them tough luck. My kid. My rules. If they don’t like it tell them to pound sand.
You are that babies momma and have every right to lay down the rules.
How about you just don’t go? Or don’t invite them over? Why cater to your family when they won’t respect you? Imo you shouldn’t go.
You are a Mother and as such you are your child’s protector. “Man” up!
There is no nice way of telling them. Don’t sugarcoat it. Stand firm
Seems like you already asked him nicely. It’s your baby don’t be sorry tell him to back off! You have every right to be worried about the things you listed! Your kid your rules end of story!
Tell him and everyone for that matter it’s your house your rules your child and if they don’t like it then leave
Honestly, you may not be able to. You may have to put your foot down and they will still probably think you’re over reacting. That just seems to be how it goes. Either people respect your wishes or they think your trying to keep your kid in a bubble. Also, buy a deadbolt for your bedroom door. Your father-in-law sounds like a belligerent jerk.
No nice way about this. Simply say no.
My family did this crap too. So every time they came around I hurried and picked up my baby or hovered over him so they couldn’t. I also put something in from of my door to wake me up if they did. Just tell them straight up that they can’t hold him while they’re sick, as a momma you have to step up to protect your baby.
My daughter was born during the swine flu outbreak! I didn’t bring her out in public until Spring! She was 6 months! Your baby, your rules! Don’t bring her around anyone that can’t respect that!
Sounds like you need your own place.
Don’t worry about nice protect your baby
There is no nice way to say it. Put your foot down and tell him flat out not to touch your child!
Say don’t touch my baby and leave it at that
So what he lives in your house?
Probably can’t do it in a nice way when people are ignorant of modern child care! Your baby - YOUR boundaries!!!
In that situation, you don’t be nice. Lay down the rules and if it pisses someone off, oh well.
You are 100% right!! Dont ever let anyone tell you different…
Being that belligerent can cause that baby harm or worse! What’s wrong with him wanting to sneak a baby into his room. Hed probably drop or pass out or roll over on top of him!!
Stick to yr guns!!
Put a lock on the inside of your door and establish boundaries no flu or whooping cough shot no holding or touching kid
There is no nice way… thats all… i told my MIL to wash hands before touching my baby, (same as you FIL just replace the drinking with smoking) (she was visiting us for a month) so she said either i will touch him without washing hands or not at all… needless to say, she didn’t get to touch my baby for a whole month… your kid your responsibility… no-one has a say in that…
One you need to have a serious talk with your husband & your father in law. And secondly, maybe it’s time to look for a place of your own so you don’t have this worry on you. Unfortunately, your father in law might not understand bc its his hm & just loves his grandchild. But kissing baby is a serious problem especially when one is sick taking the baby into his arms to a room will be dangerous. Don’t think the worst though just act on the issue.
Change your locks…get an alarm system if necessary.
Try to find somewhere else to go. U have every right to feel how u do. Plus the baby is a newborn and has not built much of an immune system. Either he and others have to respect your wishes or they dont see the baby…that’s it and that’s all. Plus as much as I dont wanna bash an addict or alcoholic, he needs to help himself b4 going anywhere near a baby. He is coughing up blood…that isnt good at all. You, your hubby, n esp the baby doesnt need to see that happening. The newborn dont know now, but will soon enough. He g2get help and u g2try to go somewhere else if he doesnt get help or at least respect your wishes on staying away from the baby
Your child your rules!
Just say “hey. With it being flu season I would prefer you didn’t come in contact with baby.”
There is no good way to say it. Just have to say it
Keep the baby in a carrier on the front of you during waking hours and let the baby sleep in your room in a pack n play. Problem solved!
Move and get your own place.
Um no need to be nice. Your husband needs to speak up
This baby is counting on you to keep him safe. Stir up drama from hell to protect your baby.
Just say no. Whatever it takes for him to understand
Put a lock on your door like others have said. The latch kind. And move out because this is just the start of an ugly battle that will never end unless you move out.
Simple solution. You move out into your own place. And until he can follow rules he can’t come over and you won’t go there￼
Are you living in his home? If yes, time go get your own house.
If he’s living in your home, time to set some rules.
don’t be nice tell them like it isl, this is your baby you are talking about they will get over it if they care enough period…
Your a mother. Protect your child and stop worrying about other peoples feelings. God forbid somebody get their feelings hurt
Get out of there before social services takes your baby because they are looking for any excuse they can! Hurry! Leave! Apply for housing assistance and food stamps.
I promise you. Even if you do it in a nice way. It’s going to cause Drama
Girl forget being nice, be mamma bear and be blunt. When my daughter gets here, my in laws will see a side of me they haven’t seen because my daughter will be born between now and Christmas…
Don’t worry about their feelings, protect your baby
Y’all say move out like it’s that easy. It takes money and they may not have it.
I would say it just like you said. There is so much going around. A small baby does not need to be passed around and risk getting sick
Kids, even babies, are tough. But you make the rules!
See I’m not nice when it comes to these types of situations. Either u respect my decisions as a mother or stay away from my child. But that me though
Do you have your own house.
If you live with them you should probably try to move out. Even if he’s not touching your baby if you live in the same household the child is being exposed to the germs and also to that behavior.
You already are enabling his bad behavior. Stop yourself from allowing it
What the hell you living in the basement for kids today are soo funny
There really isn’t a nice way cuz they won’t understand it’s no don’t kiss them and if you don’t wash your hands and you don’t touch them plain and simple and they don’t like it too bad
I used to put mine in the baby carrier and if she was asleep, the hood up.
My favorite line is, looks like she’s hungry again!
Also, you don’t have to be an asshole when you tell them but you are absolutely under no obligation to put anyone’s feelings above yours when it comes to your little. You are mama bear and what you say absolutely goes. Period. End of story. You can start by nicely asking/telling along with a reminder then mama, you do and say what you need to. Your baby and your family come before anyone else. Also you can point out it is not safe for someone who is under the influence to handle your baby at all.
For real the carrier though, people can’t grab them away from you so easily, it also helps avoid so much asking to hold babes too
Tell them how it is. I almost lost my baby 10 years ago from people grabbing and kissing her. She was like a rag doll and drs said if i didnt take her in when i did we would have lost her. Your baby your rules
I also like to state that I will be greedy about holding my baby because I want to soak up all the littleness, and well I grew that person so I get first dibs😆
You don’t want drama? good luck
Take your child and keep him away!!
Dont do it in a nice way, it needs to be very clear. Protect that baby, he sounds nuts. You have to be preventative not reactive. Stop it before it happens!
Make your pediatrician the bad guy. “Baby’s doctor said that this is a terrible cold and flu season and Baby needs extra precautions because he is too young to have the flu shot. No one is allowed to kiss Baby on the face or hands, and hands have to be washed prior to Baby being picked up.” That’s the advice our doctor gave us. It allows you to save face and still get the demand across.
“ Please wash your hands”
Simple, I wouldn’t care what anyone thought. They would not pick up my baby if I don’t want them too and if he drinks to where he is drunk, he would not be holding my baby either. I won’t care about what they thought
Move into your own space!
There is no nice way. Catch him when his sober and tell him in a serious manner exactly what and how you want him to do it. And if some one says something you tell them THAT IS MY CHILD AND I WILL PROTECT HIM. And dont compromise stay firm. They’ll get over it when they see that talking shit and being mad is only hurting them and not you.
You just say it, there is no nice way. People already know these things!!! Remember that!
This is my baby at 1 month and 1 week old. He got RSV and Pneumonia. He almost died in the hospital. They had to ultrasound his major organs because his body was not healing. He had to have a blood transfusion because his blood count was super low from running so many tests to make sure he was getting better. He stayed asleep for 2.5 weeks. I couldn’t hold my baby for 3 weeks! My baby struggled to learn how to eat and breath. It’s not worth it!!! Don’t put someone’s feeling above your childs health and possibly life. Our 1st and 2nd day in the hospital 2 kids lost their fight from the same thing my son had. How would you feel if you risked your baby just to keep from upsetting someone who sounds like a total asshole? I wouldn’t wish this on my worse enemy. Be smart. Please use me as an example. I wish I would have been a full on bitch about people coming around my baby. Then he wouldn’t have went through what he went through. I still struggle with his breathing. He can be asthmatic or just have severe allergies. He gets sick and has to be treated right away or it flares up and ends with a hospital stay.
Don’t visit them. Protect your baby.
Alway try nice first!!! I am shocked at the people who choose not nice. A heart to heart gets better cooperation, from the people who love your baby. They too will realize they want to keep baby safe from germs