I dunno, maybe be assertive and say what you want? That usually works.
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Well if everything else relationship wise is ok you could try getting some labs done in case it’s an imbalance, could be depression or meds. You guys could try therapy to work on building intimacy that isn’t focused on sex. Be honest with him but realize you are going to hurt him and it will damage the relationship for a time. However you can’t work on things without being honest. Good luck! It’s ok too for the relationship to end. I get marrying him anyways bc so many are pushed to marry their children’s other parent no matter what. In the future work on big problems before legally tying yourself to a person.
Why are u with him if ur not attracted to him let the poor man go so he can be happy and u find what makes u happy 1 the child should be in his own bed not in ur bed
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Has this been the way you feel the entire relationship?
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I would personally have open communication and tell him what you’re going through. I strongly recommend a sex therapist. I’ve been married 14 years and honestly open communication and therapy saved my marriage.
I’m trying to figure out why you got married in the first place?! If you are repulsed by him then you both need to go your separate ways. I would hate to think you got married just because you got pregnant. That’s not a reason to get married IMO.
And remove the child from your bed…not only is it nearly impossible to get them out as they get older, it’s also putting the kibosh on anything that could potentially happen barring the fact that he’s unattractive in the first place. Just my thoughts.
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You need to try using enhancements for yourself. If sex is the problem. Pure romance has some great options.
How old is your child? Are you going through baby blues? The fact that it only happens once a month may be his reason for it being so quick. Is it rushed so your child can be in the bed or is in the bed? Too many factors unknown. Are you feeling disconnected because your thoughts are more on your child? You need to get your child out of the bed! If you married for love you need to work on regaining emotional intimacy. It usually takes a woman longer especially after having a baby for some women. Stress can be a factor for either of you. Learn your own body if you don’t know what it takes for you achieve fulfillment how is he. Everyone’s body changes over time to say you don’t find him physically attractive is like a man saying he doesn’t find his wife physically attractive after having a child it’s demeaning and lack of emotional connection. Everything stated needs to be addressed and discussed with him in a empathic manner without emasculating him.
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WOW, many WOW’s, You guys just got married a few months back, And you don’t find him sexually attractive !!! Why did you marry him? Then why is your child sleeping n bed with you guys? Did this lack of wanting sex just stop? Or was it always there? If so, why marry him??? Get the child out of your bed, TALK to your husband, and I mean really talk to him & tell him what you want & stop putting it all over the social media 
The way you talk about him seems like you’re repulsed by HIM not what he looks like. Is there more to the story? Because right now… like a lot of others, I’m trying to figure out why you even married him.
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Idk why you posting all your personal business on Facebook so strangers can what either give you what you wanna hear or what you don’t wanna hear.either way this is your marriage not a bf gf keep your personal life just that.if you want real advice seek therapy. If you don’t want that then leave.
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Why in this world did you marry him?
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Sounds like a page out of my book . Iol thank goodness I got out of that situation !
Did you not have sex before marriage? Bc these issues should be resolved before marriage. Before you commit to one another.
If you rather sleep with someone else then maybe you should leave this marriage and find someone else. Let him also find someone else.
Bc how can you live a happy life if there’s no attraction or passion in the bedroom.
You need to speak with him, tell him what you like and what you want sexually. Foreplay! Get him off first and then have sex, he’ll last longer once he gets off once.
How old are you both? Help each other if you want this marriage. If you’re not willing then go your separate ways.
Being sexually frustrated is the worse. It makes you bitter.
Then I would you marry him
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He deserves to be loved and to feel wanted. Doesn’t sound like you do at all. If you’re repulsed by him, I’d move on and give someone else a chance to want him.
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Why would y’all get married, a child isn’t a reason to marry. Now the child will grow up to know misery and fake happiness. Children are extremely smart you can only fool them for so long.
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Yall are putting words in her mouth. She said she’s disgusted by the way she feels, not by him. It’s not her faults he’s a minute man/selfish lover.
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Why did you marry him?
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If you’re not sexually attracted to him why are you initiating ? And why did you get married?
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Hun if you thought that way. Whyyyy did you marry. Like im confused asf I have kids and even if my man don’t last we keep going for my release. Talk to a sex therapist
Get you some toys! Spice it up! What about him turns you off?
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The more a man has sex or pleases himself it will build up his stamina…So maybe helping him would help you 
Why did you Marry him?
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Why would you marry someone you aren’t sexually attracted to…
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Girl get a you toy and finish before him
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You aren’t responsible for your own fulfillment?? Really?
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Have sex more often so he last longer
he only lasts 5 minutes because you don’t have sex often enough so can’t blame him lol, but if you’re not attracted to him why marry him
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Use sex toys during intimacy. They will help enhance the issue in the bedroom.
You need to tell him. Tell him that you aren’t satisfied with your sex life. Let him know that sex is important to you in the relationship. Tell him what you likr and don’t like while you’re engaged in the act… if you keep it to yourself nothing will change
I don’t understand what she is trying to say!
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You guys need some toys.
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You’re obviously not mentally mature enough to be married or even in a relationship. Let him find someone who wants him. You need to grow up.
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Ummm maybe you should have sex with him more often obviously the poor guy gonna get off in a second when only gets it once a month!
Why did you marry a man you are not attracted to and you have no sexual chemistry with? Sounds as though you are blaming him, but I’m guessing these issues did not arise after you said I do.
Why does it end so quickly? Is there a medical issue, low testosterone, age, is he not sexually attracted to you? Do you do anything to help get yourself to the point of satisfaction and then allow his five minutes to finish the job?
Marriage goes deeper than sex, however, it does play a key role. If you are not attracted to your person, it can turn to bitterness, anger, etc, much deeper problem. If you want a happy marriage, seek counseling, be open and honest. Maybe y’all are meant to be awesome co-parents
Maybe if it was more than once a month, he would last more than 5 min 
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Then why the hell did you guys get married? 
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I’m sorry but I can’t stand some women…just trashy and selfish…You marry a man you don’t like just to get married to someone. And then they wonder why they end up with assholes 
I’m appalled at these comments
Like do y’all have nothing better to do than talk so boldly and negatively to someone on the internet? Good grief
Marriage is hard for everyone at some point or another. You will have seasons where the sex isn’t that great. Or non existent. Especially after a child.
I suggest sitting down with your partner and explains the needs you have in the bedroom.
She don’t want no minute man…girl you married him now lie in your bed
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Just going to point out that he is a “minute man” because y’all aren’t having sex enough.
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Hormone pellets the only thing is you want sex every day or every other day.
Start exploring new things activities with each other. Do you breastfeed? That can lower your hormones and urges. For about a year after I gave birth I had so desire to be sexual or even have any touching from my husband. Start asking if there’s anything he wants you to do and if he doesn’t ask you just say do you think we could try this or maybe a different position
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I Don’t think you’re ta, if you have to be the one initiating it then he’s a big part of the problem. Maybe you can talk to him about the lack of sex and foreplay in your relationship.
If you’re not attracted to him that affects it
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Attraction starts in the mind. If there is something you don’t like about him,you need to talk to him,maybe it can be changed. Also, if you were on birth control and went off of it,the birth control gives synthetic hormones that can change you feeling attracted towards him. That,ppd and many other things can affect your attraction and feelings/responses with him.
First question is do you love him ?! Second do you communicate. Relationships are hard and your marriage is something you have to determine is worth fighting for. Women and men see sex very differently. For men it’s a physical act. With most women it’s deeper and about a connection. Talk to him , go see a councillor . Reconnect go on dates and work at a connection with him . Best of luck ! I hope you have a good outcome.
Then why are you married to him??? Not fair to him or you. Imagine how he would feel if he knew the truth.
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Keep your sex life to your self please not on FB some of us doesn’t want to here it personal thank u
maybe try being an adult and talk to him like an adult 
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Teach him how you like it have him get you off before he even starts to get himself off
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Okay first off if you are not attracted to him, you probably won’t get off. You have to be into sex. If yall are having sex every once in a while he is going to cum fast. That’s to be expected, If you was into the sex and him foreplay is always good and oral as well. There are also other ways for him to get you off like toys and all of that. But if you don’t make sex fun then it will suck
My husband sucks at sex but when I want to get off I’m going to. A lot of men aren’t great in bed. You have to literally teach them. I am curious as to why you married someone you’re not sexually attracted to. If you’re not willing to show him what you like let him go to a woman who will invest. For me that’s kinda what marriage is about
Communication is key. Talk to him about it. Maybe add toys to the mix too
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I honestly am so confused. You married a man you were not attracted to? You have a child together so you obviously knew what the sex was like prior?
Anyway, first things first, TELL HIM. Tell him what you need. Tell him what you like, don’t like. Also tell him y’all need to have sex more often, ONCE A MONTH? I’d literally implode. If you’re simply not attracted due to the lack of orgasm that can be fixed with communication and foreplay. Women need foreplay. Tell him! If you simply just aren’t attracted to him, you should have never married him, but you still need to tell him. You’ll eventually resent him for your own lack of attraction and this is not fair to him. Regardless, communication is key here.
How to say “i married for money”…without saying “i married for money” 
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Communication is everything! Talk to him about your issue and explore sexually together. There are therapists who help with this sort of thing as well.
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Why marry someone who you aren’t physically attracted to? I think you should go your own way and stop stringing him along.
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He probably only last five minutes because of the lack of sex honestly.
Why did you marry him wtf? You sound like a jerk. Grow up and talk to him about it like you should have BEFORE you married him
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Let me say use toys for you it’s common that women take longer than men. So foreplay, and toys help. I read a lot of articles about it men and women are different. Look up about men to cum first, women it takes on an average or 12 to almost a half hour and men don’t any to wait. They can be selfish… so talk communication is key to make you happy. It’s just not your husband lots of men have this issue.
Okay but you can’t give it to him ONCE A MONTH then complain that he only lasts 5 mins come on now that’s not fair.
Get a vibe for clit stimulation and only use it together.
I have zero sex drive, but I do find my spouse attractive. My mind doesn’t work like the rest I suppose. But bringing toys to help ME get stimulated has helped a ton. We went from having sex once a week to every other day.
Talk to him.
Y’all have to start adulting. Communication is important, especially in a marriage.
Personally, got the kid out if your bed. That space for you & him. That should be your marriage space. Not saying kids can’t pile in when sick or have a bad dream but a a rule, that bed should be sacred space.
See a sex therapist. He’s probably stressed too & it’s ok to be his rock.
You either want to work it out or you don’t but understand, marriage is work. Even with the perfect partner.
This is divorce level for me. He doesn’t care about your satisfaction or happiness.
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Please remind us why you married a man you aren’t sexually attracted to??
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Maybe you have ppd from having the baby. You were recently married, what else has changed?
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Sex is like exercise: it only works if you do it often. He’s going to keep finishing quick unless your sex life gets more active.
Communicate with each other.
And lots of foreplay before actual sex to help you finish too.
If i only had sex with my husband once a month he’d probably last 5 seconds also. 
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If she only has sex when SHE initiates it, and he doesn’t try to please her at all, how are y’all thinking this is her fault? Yeah, she needs to communicate, but he sounds selfish at the very least
You must be a gold digger that trapped him with a child …next u probably take a life insurance policy out on him n kill him
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Ok, so you still have a good sex drive but not for hubs? If your drive is flagging though check with your doctor. Is sex boring? Spice it up with toys, new positions, role playing. Is the problem he can’t last long? There are meds for that. Is the problem he has no desire? Check with the doc to see what might be wrong. If he’s got no health/medication issues, could he be gay? Is the problem you just don’t find him visually attractive? Try therapy to help you reframe the situation. If you have trouble discussing this, try marriage counseling to keep the conversation productive and positive. Is it his body? Maybe join a gym together and get fitter.
After talking to him gently (or maybe writing him a letter if you’re too embarrassed and then talking), trying to fix whatever the issues are, write down a pros & cons list for staying with him. Is he a great dad, provider, helpmeet, handyman, etc? What would you gain or give up by leaving him? Then decide your course of action.
Seems like you made poor choices and that seems unfair to him. Was the marriage arranged or something? That’s how it sounds.
Obviously we don’t know the whole story. But from this tidbit…just seems like you have a you problem.
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Why did you marry him then? This is disturbing
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If my partner ever wrote this about me I’d be absolutely crushed… imagine how he’d feel if he read this. You guys need to communicate and learn how to connect. Sex isnt always about being physically attractive but emotionally attractive as well. Go to therapy with him if you want to make your relationship last
Your not attracted.to him because your not satisfied. You need to definitely talk to him , spice things up, get toys maybe try and get the spark back but also a conversation about what you like and what he likes and how the two of you can reconnect if you don’t this is just divorce waiting to happen because of failed communication.
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This situation needs to be brought to your husbands attention.
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It your not sexually attractive to him then why would you marry the poor guy leave him and let him be happy with someone else
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So many so quickly blame her. Seems like they both have some issues. She stated SHE initiated the sex. Not him. An overnight baby sitter and a very long personal deep talk between the two are needed.
Have you talked to him about it? He may not even understand that you aren’t satisfied since he is. He may also be having some medical issues or other reason for not lasting (hell he may not be attracted to you for all you know). If you haven’t invested in figuring out what the problem is then yiu aren’t going to be able to fix it. Get off facebook and try talking to the man you committed to and professed to love!
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Girl…this is honestly my life! No amount of talking or coaching helps. You have to either accept it or move on.
If it’s a matter of attraction. What made you attracted to him before? If you were never physically attracted to him then cut him loose. And let him be happy. It’s not fair to either of you to be unsatisfied in your marriage. If it’s something like you lost attraction try “dating” each other. Have him ask you on a date. Plan the date and spend quality time with your spouse. Difference between marriage and roommates is intimacy.
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Sounds like a YOU problem…tf did you marry him for? I feel bad bad your husband.
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What was the point of getting married and why have children with someone who disgusts you?
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Your not even attracted to him sexually but wanna complain like it’s his fault it’s not often and unsatisfactory…sounds a little selfish to me js
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Maybe poor guy knows you ain’t into him. Why you married him I don’t know. If your only initiating sex once a mth, you surprised poor guy only lasts 5 mins
so the baby was made in 5 minutes?
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Maybe you don’t get off because you’re not attracted to him. Talk to him, see if it’s really that or if you can fix it. Ask him what he is into and tell him what you fantasize about. If he is not interested in making sure you get off than you need to talk about what’s next. You must have found him attractive at some point to sleep with him and marry him…. I hope.
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Why would you marry a man you’re not even sexually attracted to???
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You married him just months ago and your not attracted to him?!?! Bizarre 
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I’ve been in that situation.
I think you should explain to him that he needs to make sure you’re good before he is ( even though he should already do that) I feel like it’s kinda selfish of him to just make sure he gets off and not you. I think that’s enough to lose sexual attraction. Maybe try spices things up to whatever bedroom toys you’d both be okay with. Idk I married a man I wasn’t sexually attracted to, but it didn’t mean I didn’t love him or that I was gonna cheat. I just tried to look past it… it didn’t work out, but not for those reasons. As long as he’s a good man in every other area, this is something you both could definitely work on in my opinion .
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Why did you marry him? Of course he’s only going to last five min if you only give it to him maybe once a month. Let the poor guy go find someone who actually loves him.
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Teach him how to do foreplay… Doesnt have to be “heavy petting”… It could be starting the day with good ol’ fashioned flirting, little squeezes, naughty comments the kids dont understand 
heck have him kiss you in all kinds of places (no- I’m not talking about oral sex, I’m talking about intimate kisses) maybe a love languages book that you both read… Get a sitter, go dancing, or to a hot springs… Heck even an overnight somewhere… The key is to communicate what you want and how you want him to please you and vice a versa…
And honestly some of y’all are a little harsh. She never said she was never attracted to him… but if you was with a man that got off in 5 mins or less, never cared about if you were satisfied … basically cared about him self gettin off. Yeah that’s enough for me to not be attracted anymore… atleast bring some toys into play if he can’t do it himself
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Once a month? Practice makes perfect…
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You need to be open with him. How can he be expected to get you off, if you don’t tell him what he’s currently doing isn’t working?
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Ok you have a baby and you married him but you are not attracted to him you have a very poor attitude you need to go talk to a professional l feel sorry for your husband he deserves a wife that loves him and works with him and if you think sex makes a relationship you are wrong it is all the little things so sit him down and talk with him and see if he has a problem and instead of complaining maybe try to complement him inside l wish you the best
Well of course he is gonna be 5 minutes. You don’t touch him all but once a month. And to not be sexually attracted to him after a few months of marriage?? why did you get married?
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Girl… 7 years of marriage here
- sex once a month isn’t healthy for a marriage. He can only last 5 mins cuz you guys aren’t doing it. And he can’t get you off if he isn’t “practicing” with you and you telling him what you like. This could also be the cause of you not being sexually attracted to him. Maybe.
- get the kid out of the bed. Trust me. We have two kids and both sleep in our bed sometimes. It’s terrible. So get your kid out of the bed when you can.
- you and your husband need to rekindle romance in your marriage. Not being attracted to him might be because of that. You need to remember why you married him. Sex is more that just physical attraction, it’s like a spiritual experience too.
Good luck with it. Hope it all resolves soon.