I need help! I am under an immense amount of pressure with work and being a single parent and a full-time student, and getting no financial help. I just have so much on my plate. I am usually very patient, and I always make time to play with my son; he’s 3, and he gets my full attention when he’s with me, but sometimes I feel like I snap so quickly out of the blue. How do you calm yourself down? I can feel when I’m about to snap, but it’s like I can’t control myself. I don’t get physical or scream. I just get angry, and I hate the feeling, and I want to be more patient. I don’t know how to ask for help or where to get help. How do your mommies control your anger? Growing up, my dad would hit me just for crying, and I can now see as a parent how it’s affected me in dealing with my emotions.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you calm yourself when you feel like you are about to snap?
Take a cool shower. It helps settle the nerves and refreshes you and gives to time to cry and recharge
I take a Benadryl. It calms me down quickly. Also. Unpopular opinion. But cannabis is a game changer
Breathing techniques. Grounding methods. Medication
Look at PEO International to see if someone can assist with some of your educational costs.
Fine someone that can be there for you to talk to and pray with you
Go for a walk. Walks help me so much!
Prozac changed my life legit. I can’t belive how logical I am now and can play more sleep better. I went 2 years post pard with out and mad I didn’t start sooner
I smoke weed.
No for real, I have generalized anxiety disorder that manifests as rage and that’s the best medication I’ve found. I’m a 10x better mom with cannabis than without.
Not even kidding, I just walked away from dinner to go in my room because I was about to snap. I have 5 kids and alot on our plate. I’m exhausted, overworked and mentally drained dealing with all of it. The best thing I can say is set things up to look forward to. A day in the house alone, a movie, a spa day, a long drive alone. I find that if I have something to look forward to, I can maintain a little longer. The other thing is toddler proof his room enough that when you are having a hard day or need a moment you can send him to his room to play, color, rest or really anything. You aren’t a bad mom if he has to play alone for a bit. It’s good for him and it is good for you. The other thing I also did recently was inact an early bedtime routine. All of my kids aged 14-3 go to their rooms at 8pm. They don’t have to go to bed but I say good night, cuddle and tuck my little one in. Then the kids can hang out in their room doing art work, reading a book or just relaxing until their bedtime. They all love it. They call it their break time. They get to be alone for a while and do what they want.
I’m dealing with the same battle, honestly my 3y son was starting to spazz like me so we started watching Daniel tiger. They have amazing episodes on controlling emotions. I’ve actually started using the count down for myself. It also helps open the communication between us when one of us is having big emotions.
Exercise, Guided meditation ( look on YouTube), hug your baby for at least 30 seconds at a time, take time for you, even if only a few minutes to practice breathing exercises. Single mom here, full time nursing student so I get it.
I smoke weed because if I didn’t I’d probably be in jail
Try meditation. It is insanely difficult, but if you can manage it, it can be very helpful.
A bedtime routine is hard but helpful because it puts the child going to bed at the same early time each night so you can look forward to a few hours of rest yourself. I lose my patience after 9pm and know my son should be in bed by then anyways and it would not be happening. I also take long baths but finding time for that will be difficult with such a young child.
Focus on my breath going in and out
I just walk to another room for a minute now. I have 11 and 13 year old daughters. There is one thing that always helps me calm down. I try and remember that I have never been the parent of an 11 and 13 year old and they have also never been that age before. Its a learning experience for all of us, no matter how many kids you have, you have never done this exact thing before.
Therapy can be very helpful and taking time for yourself when you can will help you too. It sounds like you are running on fumes and you need to go to the gas station to fill up:slightly_smiling_face:
Go into a room the bathroom some where that has a door go in and shut the door. Sit there for a few. Put a show on for your 3 year old. Hey I’ve been a single mom for 21 years to tell you the truth as I was told take time for yourself. That means take a day or a half a day off from work keep your child in daycare. Spend a you day. It’s hard but I started taking me days. Movies, nails, massages but don’t clean your house. Good luck you got this.
Smoke a joint or eat a edible. Not high dose but it def helps
Marijuana… they have Edibles and oils so you don’t just have to smoke it anymore. I’m going through menopause and my patience has completely changed and is non-existent. If it wasn’t for medical marijuana I’d probably be in the Looney Bin it helps to keep me calm and keep myself in check! And it also allows me to stay calm and examine my thoughts and see where my rage and anger is coming from. Because I also didn’t have the best childhood and it really allows your mind to examine things and be calm enough to do some healing within yourself:heart:
I highly suggest getting therapy to learn how to better handle your emotions and not feeling like your going to snap all the time.
Cannabis. I grew up in an abusive household. Alot of that trauma manifested later in life into alot of mental and emotional disorders that have been crippling to my well being at times. Medication did not work. Therapy did not work for me. Cannabis saved my life, my marriage and has made me a 10x better mother than I would be without. With it, I can juggle and tackle anything with a genuine smile on my face. You don’t have to smoke it. There’s plenty of options. Oils, edibles, you can cook it in your food, add it to your drink etc. For me, cannabis helped me address the root of my problems and heal in a healthy and productive manner.
That is a sign that you are doing too much that is why is harder to be patient. If I where u I would go to school part time. What helps me when I used to be under great pressure like u was to eat avocado daily, anger snapping is control by the brain n avocado helsp u balance those chemicals. Also praying for patience in the morning, when I feel u get angry I walk away n see it I’m tired, hungry, sleepy n do to take care of me. With son whom he has high adhd n I also just ask him for a hug n taht helps me.mych n them I correct the situation with gentleness. But thru prayer, my therpahis n my psikiatrist they recommended for me to cut down the schedule n I did n now I don’t get as angry as often I’m more patient
Talk to your Dr, for sure.
Well The first step is realizing that something’s not right! And good for you. You need a break! Maybe it could be just a weekend to yourself. Maybe get people involved. Do you have a good friend you can vent to? Don.T be afraid to tell people how you feel! Express yourself! Things get better honey they always do, but not if you keep things inside!
When you start to feel your anger coming on or anxiety, change physically. So if you’re sitting and feel it, stand and move. If you’re already moving, sit down. When anger or anxiety hits, it targets your ‘fight, flight, freeze or faint’ response and in that moment, it’s hard to snap anyone out of it, so to counter it, if you move your body your mind ‘unfreezes’ so to speak and realizes it needs to think about what your body is doing. Another tip is having a word that isn’t even relevant to emotions. So if you start to get anxious or angry, say your safe word and it redirects your thoughts as well. That’s all advice from my therapist for my anxiety. You’re doing great, mama
I wish I knew, i have explosive disorder, I have a very bad short temper if anyone gets me upset, I do a breathing exercise to help me calm down. Other than that I avoid issues at all costs.
You sound like you have more on your plate than you can chew mama. Weed isn’t going to help with that. It will just mask the issues at hand.
If you need help, you can start looking for neighborhood places (at least that is what they are called here) that help with child care, wic, food stamps, etc. Gov assistance, basically. Maybe see if you can switch to online classes or take a semester off to focus on you and your baby. Therapy may also help with your rooted issues that stemmed from childhood.
It could be anxiety or depression they can cause rage or anger
My kids are grown now , klonopin was quite helpful for me . LOL . . I never drank and was a good stay at home mom . I had two of the three as wild Indians . An ex husband that had issues and a husband who has major issues , a large home and a neurotic dog . That’s when I began my once a day dose of lowest dose of klonopin . While this story is told to give you a good laugh , it’s actually true ! Main thing : I did a lot of praying ! End results - three amazing adult kids , a wonderful DIL and a grandchild on the way . I still
Pray over my children all the time every single day . They think I am the best mom in all the world . I do highly recommend prayer . It works !
I have real bad anxiety and my temper comes and goes with it. I use the 3-3-3 rule or 54321 grounding.
Do deep breaths Deep in an out…
Breathe in an Exhale
all BULLSHIT OUT!!!
Sounds like more of a stress response than anger.
I find that when I look around the room, I connect with things. For instance…. I see a clock on the wall. I look at it and take deep breaths for at least a count of 10-15 seconds maybe longer. Then I will scan to something else and do the same thing. I also have the calming essential oil from DoTerra. I will roll it on my temples wrists and nape of neck. Things like this ground and balance you. Next semester I would take one less class if possible. If you watch TV a lot, I would drop one 1/2 hr of it daily to start. 3/4 times a week if you have long hair, I would brush it and pull it back or up. If you wear makeup, wear less or pick one day where you only do your skin care routine and no make-up. This will honestly save you time and less stress. I have also found that if you can meal prep on 1 day for 2/3 days this will save you a lot of time.
BREATHE long deep breaths, it will calm you. Pray and Pray some more. Sing happy songs for you, it really does help
It sounds like you’re going down the road to anxiety town. Those were my exact symptoms in the beginning. I’m not currently in therapy but it can help some people, it really depends. I also recommend getting your blood levels checked. Magnesium supplements can help balance your stress levels too. I use various worry stones, music, reading/ebooks, and gardening when I have time in order to destress. Get a babysitter and give yourself a relaxation day once in a while too!
Came here to say I feel this. Same boat here with same aged child. You’re not alone.
I had this problem when I was a single Mom and my daughters Dad wasn’t around or helping with money it was so stressful it’s hard not feel like you’re gonna snap all of the time. Best thing to do is ask family for help when they can and make to do lists and just get one thing done at a time then cross it off always focus on just one thing you have to do at a time and do the best you can and if you can ever find the time blast music
In your headphones and go for long walks put your son in the stroller at bed time and just try to get in 20 min to an hour at a time push yourself
As hard as you can go and it helps so much!
“My mommy yells a lot” is something I don’t want to her my children say, ever. I try to always think of how they want me to treat that right now.
It sounds like you are overwhelmed and understandably so. You need a break.
Definitely a trauma response mama and your child’s behavior being a trigger. Definitely counseling you are taking such a huge step just acknowledging this
I usually just walk away for a bit. I used to always react to every negative situation and with the most negative reaction and I’ve learned it’s not necessary. Just take a few moments by yourself drink some water and calm yourself down. Sometimes people just want that reaction and it’s not always best to give it to them. Coping skills are the best thing I’ve ever learned!!! I’m actually diagnosed with bipolar but I’ve learned to deal with it on my own without meds! It can be done!
Take a deep
Breath, slowly count to ten, then count backwards from 10,
You probably think this wouldn’t help in high stress… I ask you to give it a try a few times. I scoffed it off until I felt …how could it get any worse… I will give it a try… helped me. In addition…I hope you’re finding a bit of time for yourself somehow
Work or study,drop one on hold for now. Your kid needs a less stressed mama
It’s important to think through why you are getting so frustrated.
Are you expecting a 3 year old to have self control you admitted you don’t?
Sometimes in these moments rational thoughts help me calm down
That one specifically.
I mean how can we get mad at kids for not being able to do what we can’t?!
Girl you are not alone. When you feel this way, do what I do . Stop think and then do a deep pressure hug. Sometimes the resistance and issue can be solved with a deep deep hug . Will help you both . And counting to 50 or 100 always help .
If u shop at walmart go to there tea section they have chamonile and stress relief ones they also have melatonin for stress in the pharmacy area hope u feel better make sure u do something asap i been there the next thing thats gonna happen is the migraine cause of the stress Good luck…
prayer Bible reading (alone or out loud to your son (Psalms/Proverbs/Ecclesiastes are all wonderful and provide clarity) also CBD oil or gummies to take the edge off/enhance coping skills.
Relaxation music hypnosis deep breaths and calm yourself even walk away for 5 mins to do this
Ask for help if u can
And always take some me time
Girl I feel ya and I have to girls who have the same attitude I do and I have to take time to myself. It’s so hard to just say calm down don’t get mad but usually I prioritize one task at a time even if it’s as simple as taking the trash out it helps me regulate and feel like I don’t have so many overwhelming tasks but I get the snappy feeling and as long as your giving your child any amount of love and attention your already doing an amazing job. Take a breath and just let your body relax for a minute
I sympathize with you. I was a single mom with four kids. One full-time and one part-time job. It’s just that I don’t have an answer for you. I wish I had some resource numbers for you to call and see if you can get some kind of aid, maybe someone else on this post will have some advice on that.
First you have to realize you are an amazing mom and it’s ok to get frustrated with everyday life you’re human so give yourself a break dont be hard on yourself . Take up a hobby something you always wanted to try , go for a walk take time for yourself even if its 30 minutes . Prioritize yourself as well . We all been there it does get better with time .
It’s ok to cry momma. I used to take mommy time outs while my kids played safely in their room. Run a shower or take a hot bath after your child goes to sleep and cry and scream if you need to and let it out.
I used to sit on my bathroom floor and cry. It is hard being a single mom. You need to know you are AMAZING!! Also you are not alone. It’s okay to feel selfish about taking alone time. Take a bath, have a glass of wine, or hide behind the toilet. Crouch in the corner of the kitchen for 45 seconds before they find you. Whatever it takes.
It’s okay to feel and be stressed. Even mommy gets tired and overwhelmed, especially mentally!
Hang in there. It gets better.
I just let the radioactive material fall then continue on
I recently told my dr about the rage I sometimes feel coming on. She recommended eating an apple or orange daily as those foods tend to help with those types of moods. She also recommended a brisk walk for 20-30 mins. You may also want to consider going out with friends for dinner or a movie. I know it’s time away from your child, but moms need breaks, too . I always feel guilty for leaving my kiddos at a babysitters, but it gives me enough time for a reset that I desperately need.
Let me ask do you have a Indian card? If you do they may be able to help with daycare
I also kneel down right in front of him. Brings me perspective
Sounds like you need a break
Meditation helps me. I count to a number and breathe as I count. Then count down to one. Repeat. Good luck babe. Ive been in your place and its extremely stressful. Best of luck.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you calm yourself when you feel like you are about to snap?
Deep breaths. Deep breaths.
Music! I put on my noise cancelling headphones and put my music on high and fade away into my music land.
Music yes! And not some sappy calm down music lol I jam out wether in the car or at home even if I have to use my headphones for just those 5-10 mins and know baby is safe for a few while you check yourself back in to life. I pick a super upbeat song that I can sing to and usually dance to also, I mean like really dance and sing. It seems to alleviate some of the stress for me or maybe just release something else and takes your mind off of that main focus for the moment ya know. I have 2 toddlers and I am a stay at home mom. I say mommy needs time outs too. I put smallest one safely in crib and set up oldest one in her room with an electronic, toy, tv or book and lock the baby gate. If she opens it I get a notification like a beep or for when I’m jamming out it vibrates on my wrist so they are totally safe and it is totally ok to go to your own room and take care of yourself for a bit girl. I’ve even jammed out while painting my toe nails and or did my eyebrows. I can see them both on the monitors right there with me and I used to feel guilty about needing to step away sometimes but don’t let yourself feel this way. Every person can only take so much. I grew up in a household with a lot of hitting and yelling too and I cried a lot. I don’t want my babies to feel this same stress. I’m married to a former marine sgt. so sometimes it’s hard to keep our household calm and without yelling bc he is so disciplined and wants to instill that in our children. So therefore I feel guilty when I do the same or let my childhood reflect on how I parent… we can only try and do better the next day if we fail today. Just keep letting them know that you love them and do your best momma.
Psalms 23 ,it works for all problems.
Anger is trying to control your world…iam so happy you are aware of the hurt anger can have an a child…every room in your house put a helper for your stress…examples…fan …yoga music…flowers…waterfall sounds…ocean sounds…classical music…old radio…oil diffuser…
Scream the F word hahaa
For real, talk with your doctor. They may be able to prescribe you something. Counseling has also helped me.
I would get in my rowing machine and go until I exhausted myself, but any vigorous exercise will do, like scrubbing or jumping up and down or sit ups until you calm down. Bonus, you’re getting in better shape.
I’m so sorry! I hope u can find a way to recharge.