There isnt a coparenting solution in this situation. So you simply have to handle your own home.
Are you willing to accept them if they dont follow in line with your beliefs? If brought up again what their father said. Then ask point blank if your supposedly the one brainwashing them then why is it their father is the one whos going to disown them if they dont follow suit with him?
Let them believe what they choose. Simply make politics an off limits topic while they are in your home.
Dont tolerate hate speech and make sure you are not guilty either in your home whether they agree or disagree.
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My question is whether this a thought when you married and decided to have children? If you didnāt care then you canāt care now.
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What racist and homophobic things do they say?
Your ex sounds dangerous.you need to get outside help.you never said ages of kids? Id tell them to follow there heart and teach them right from wrong .
Wow. What a great mama you are! I would just keep modeling the behavior you want them to show. If they say anything about brainwashing, I would ask them what they think! You are teaching them to think for themselves, which is awesome.
Is there anyway you can limit their time with their dad?
Also, encourage them to spend time with people who are different from them and they will see for themselves.
Also, you do understand that the dad is pulling this crap just to get to you, right? What a jerk.
Be careful who you procreate with. Now what? How we fix this mess? ![:cry: :cry:](https://answers.mamasuncut.com/images/emoji/google/cry.png?v=10)
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Sounds ridiculous and probably just posted to get a response.
When you have to coparent with someone that is an a literal satanist, far left nut job that actively tries to turn your children transgender also does drugs around the kids and letās men sleep in bed with your kids let me know. Try your best to co parent cause it could be way worse than having diff beliefs
Thatās child abuse. Turn him in
Assuming the Ex is Conservative, you donāt want your children around that poisonā¦ Tell him to parent properly and leave the political brainwashing out of it.
Keep reminding your children not to take them views on board it only divides a society.
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You didnāt mention how old your kids are. Are they able to say to their father that they disagree with him? If so they should speak up and let him know that while they want to spend time with him, they do not want him pushing his ideas, especially political, on them. Also most schools already have a no āno political clothingā rule, which would definitely cause problems for the kids. Since your kids are opening up to you, itās important to keep that line of communication with them wide open and let them express their feelings in the matter to you. I would address these concerns with him, and if he is unwilling to talk to you about them, then heās not willing to āco-parentāā¦heās pushing his own agenda. I would also talk with the school and let them in on the situation. Maybe make sure they have extra clothing there in case he would send them to school like that again. So they can change.
I would put both your children in therapy and have family therapy sessions
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Teach them being racist is wrong teach them to be kind loving people and to treat others the way you would want to be treated but as far as political views are concerned they need to make their mind up about that all on their own !
Take them down to a police station and get a police man to tell them that their ābeliefsā on being homophobic and racist and making such comments is illegal and could get them put in court
Is it actually racist and homophobic etc. or is it just not a view you agree with? 2021 seems to have that issue on all sides. Raise your babies to be kind to EVERYONE NO MATTER WHAT. But neither one of you should be pushing your political views on children. Everyone always says we want our kids to think for ourselves but parents absolutely influence their kids religious and political views
I teach my children the full Gospel and let the chips fall where they fall even if it ends in divorce. I love my wife but if either of us disagrees with Scripture then weāre wrong. Make peace where you can but never compromise Scripture. Not in regards to marriage, not in regards to child rearing, and not in regards to calling sin what God calls sin.
I need to answer this one. Praying and having faith in God is most important while living your life. Learning this is a dairy lesson.
I have raised 5 children. All 5 are so different. When others were having strong influence on them and I was not going to win here, hereās how I handle it.
I sat the child down and had a discussion on otherās influences. āNever never buy into anything or anyone 100%. Even I with my agenda is there welfare, I could be wrong.
Never ever let someone make their decisions for them. Take information in, think about and make your own decisions.
When dealing with any life matter they can come to me for counsel and I promised never to be mad at them if they did not follow my counsel.
Hope this helps you. This stance helped me with all 5. My children are now in their 40ās/50ās. I have a restaurant manager, a research/manager, director of Nursing, a carpenter and a Marine. So different and so much fun. God bless
Please document this parental alienation. He doesnāt have to share your beliefs but he cannot play these sick power games with your kids as pawns. This is a direct attack on your authority as a parent and an attempt to control you. Seek counseling for your kids. Donāt make them chose.
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You say they have to conform to dadās views or else but then say they argue with you about your views. If they were really being made to act this way then they wouldnāt do it around you and argue with you about your views. Sounds like dadās views make more sense to them and your mad about it. Children are smart and I think its great you both are expressing your views to your children. Theyāve obviously already decided you donāt make sense. There are two sides to every story. If they are wearing political attire to school is because they want to and they are seeing that sometimes there are repercussions to that. Theyāll be fine, and I highly doubt your version of racist and homophobic are legitimate with the way you worded your plea for help.
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Dadās behavior is unacceptable and itās child abuse. This mom canāt stop the behavior but CPS can. I would highly recommend that mom report him. Dadās hurtful views may have these children getting physically hurt. Most people arenāt going to tolerate hateful points of view.
#HerSay
You knew how he was from the getgo. Why would you marry or have children with someone like that? You had to have known he would do this. I personally would stop all visitation and follow up in court about his behavior. Get the kids in counseling immediately. This will get worse before it gets better. And you have no one to blame but yourself.
You can only lead by example,be the best you can be ,to me religion comes from your heart and not from going to a church,Iāve learned from my wife that how we treat others is how others will see us, we are very caring and giving people and our son has fallowed us because it makes him feel good inside just like us, ,he seeās the rest of the world and judges it by what he has in his heart,Just show them who you are and from there they have to chose their own roads.
Ones Democratā¦ones Republicanā¦Not good
Therapy for you! I was there. Itās AWFUL! Check out you tube videos of gray rock tactics to use another with narcissists and what to do in co-parenting situations. Saying anything about his beliefs is counterproductive unfortunately. They have to figure it out on their own, which is the most frustrating thing I have EVER done. Iām 76 and made too many mistakes. One child has blocked all communication for 15 years. My relationship with the other is shaky for the first time ever. Iām 76, and my kids are 46 and 49. I certainly canāt say whether your x is a narcissist or not, but I think youād benefit from info on how to deal with sharing children with a narcissist. Yours is definitely not acting in adult mode which means this canāt be a normal co-parenting situation, and you will probably be better off not discussing the problematic
issues with them at all. Change the subject. Bite your tongue. Say nothing about them about differences in views. Let the children know you love and enjoy them. Hardest thing youāll ever have to do. If possible, put them in situations with other adults sand situations that can expose them to views other than their fatherās. Itās just counterproductive for YOU to try to undo his influencesā¦ My sincere sympathy. Realize you are far from alone. Find any support system you can. Most adults will not understand the hell this is.